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Teen's Den > You Should Feel GOOD.

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message 1: by Sarah (last edited Jun 14, 2012 09:33AM) (new)

Sarah Name a problem, and people here can tell you what they do to get over it or feel better. It could be simple things like school stress, or feeling tired all the time, or changes that happen when you're growing up. Or bullying, relationships, etc.

We all feel down at times, some more than others, but we will all understand...
Keep it friendly :)

message 2: by Cheyenne, HoH & Proud (new)

Cheyenne | 665 comments Mod
This is a really good idea Sarah! :)

message 3: by Sarah (last edited Jun 14, 2012 12:11PM) (new)

Sarah Merci beaucoup! (:

message 4: by Cheyenne, HoH & Proud (new)

Cheyenne | 665 comments Mod

message 5: by Sarah (new)

Sarah Thank You(:

message 6: by Cheyenne, HoH & Proud (new)

Cheyenne | 665 comments Mod
Ohh, another language? The only one besides english that I'm anywhere CLOSE to being even semi-fluent in (and not very close to it) is sign language.

message 7: by Sarah (new)

Sarah Wow, sign language? That's cool. The only stuff I know in that is stuff like "good" and yes and no. And then my brother and friends taught me a load of ahem, inappropriate things in it. Oh, and I can do jingle bells in it. ;)

message 8: by Cheyenne, HoH & Proud (new)

Cheyenne | 665 comments Mod
Hahaha, that's awesome. A lot of the signs I know are bad as well. Sign language is pretty awesome. I have a deaf niece, and hearing loss. So it seemed fitting to try and learn.

message 9: by Sarah (new)

Sarah Ahh, right. :) That's good idea then.

message 10: by Andrea (new)

Andrea (angleisthebest) | 52 comments that is so cool

message 11: by Sarah (new)

Sarah What do you do when your friends and teachers say you look down?

I've been told by one teacher TWICE that I looked uncheerful, unhappy, PAINED. Then my friends started making fun of it, and doing impressions of my face. So what do I do? Go around smiling like an idiot all the time when I'm not meant to? They're saying my neutral face looks pained or sad.

What do you do when people say you look like the most hated girl in your grade?

I have curly hair and rarely straighten it. People say I should straighten it which annoys me, but I ignore it. I prefer my hair curly anyway. Then there's this girl in my class who, let's say, isn't too clean. You can tell she rarely washes and she has extremely frizzy hair, worse than mine, with nits and dandruff and everything (I don't have nits or dandruff BTW.). ANd it's the same colour as my hair. My friends sometimes say that I look like her, which I DON'T. And there's some horrible people who say it more than them. But I like my hair, I don't care if it's curly. But sometimes it really hurts, you know? It may sound stupid, but having people telling you to change your hair, or telling you that you look like the school's unygenic kid isn't pleasant. SOmetimes it's a joke, but it hurts.

βεℓℓα のαωη Curly hair? Be proud!

I also have curly hair. Up until eighth/ninth grade I hated it and always straightened it. Then, one day, I wanted to try it out. I went to school, sat down in one of my classes. This guy comes in, takes one look at me, says "Your hair looks like you just got out of bed." It scared me so bad, I just stared at him and wanted to cry. I didn't know how to control my curly hair, because that's the first time I actually let my hair alone and went with it. The guy was known to be mean, but still. Eventually I thought "It's not his business! I can do whatever I want!" So I just use moose to tame it, and now I looooove my curly hair, even though it's frizzy and poofy. ^-^ My hair isn't extremely curly, or wavy, it's an in between curl. I love it, and you should love your curly hair too!! So whenever someone says something to you, just say "And I'm proud of it!" Because you should be. ;D

message 13: by Sarah (new)

Sarah Thanks :) I do like my hair curly, that's why I hardly straighten it. But because it's the same colour as that girl's , and hers is just ultra frizzy and mine is just curly, people make fun of it. I do think, 'I don't care what they say,' and usually I can get over a mean comment. But the day I posted that there had been like three people laughing and trying purposely to irritate me, and it got too much.

 ~❤Rikka❤~ *living is just a symptom of dying* | 122 comments ♪ $คгคђ ♪ ™ wrote: "What do you do when your friends and teachers say you look down?

I've been told by one teacher TWICE that I looked uncheerful, unhappy, PAINED. Then my friends started making fun of it, and doing ..."

(about the pained expression thing) Ouch. That happens to me sometimes too. If you act happy a lot, people get so used to it I think they aren't sure how to react when you're actually sad. I'm not sure if they're trying to be mean, but it might be them trying to cheer you up a little. I'm sure whatever face they're doing are over exaggerated right? But if it gets too much, you can always tell them. I used to tease one of my friends a lot, and I honestly didn't know how much it was affecting her until she broke down and cried and finally told me she was really bothered by what I said. (To clarify, I wan't doing stuff like explicitly insulting her, but I was doing a lot of stupid pranks like hiding her water bottle in the locker or something... Yes I'm an idiot and I already learnt that...) But anyway, they might not know how bad what they're doing is affecting you and maybe if you just tell them it's really making you feel bad they might understand. And if they're doing it purposely to spite you then just tell them you don't like it and maybe find a new friend? Just one new friend can cheer you up loads, trust me :)

message 15: by Sarah (new)

Sarah Thanks for the advice. They say it when I'm not sad, or over-excited, just in a neutral mood, you know? That's what upsets me because I know I'm not sad and I don't want to look unhappy. The thing is I don't want to look weak or make it look like I'm bothered because usually I just laugh things off or ignore it, and that's what I've been doing so far, but...

 ~❤Rikka❤~ *living is just a symptom of dying* | 122 comments wow you're super patient. If it was me I'd probably snap or something if my friends did that constantly. My friends like to make fun of my 'sad face' sometimes because I always act super hyper and crazy around them, it's like they don't think being sad is possible for me. So when I'm freaked out or something and it's SERIOUSLY bothering me, they can get a little on my nerves because they don't really take me seriously. But it doesn't happen much, that's the only reason I can bear with it. You don't have to tell them everything about how it's making you sad but maybe you could just say something jokingly like, "Don't steal my face! You guys are off limits from making my expressions!" or "Get your own sad faces, it's my normal face!" At least then it might distract them from only doing 'sad faces' of you? Or maybe tell someone close to you who'd understand and she/he can tell your other friends for you.

message 17: by Sarah (new)

Sarah Yeah,,, I guess I could do those things if it happens again :)

 ~❤Rikka❤~ *living is just a symptom of dying* | 122 comments Heehee yay I helped! Mmmmm can I say one problem I've been having for a while?

message 19: by Sarah (new)

Sarah Of course :)

message 20: by ~❤Rikka❤~ *living is just a symptom of dying* (last edited Jun 24, 2012 09:04AM) (new)

 ~❤Rikka❤~ *living is just a symptom of dying* | 122 comments Why is having a clique so important?

The teachers are always telling everyone "Don't make a clique! Be friends with everyone!" And that's what I do, but it's actually really lonely. This is the second year running, I tried to talk to everyone in class, especially this year. Because this is a new school year, my class had loads of students from different schools who'd never known each other and everyone was so uneasy I just went around trying to make friends with everyone since I was in the primary division of my school before. (Now I'm in the secondary division) So because of that, I never really hung out with any group in particular because I wanted to get to know everyone quickly and be friends with all of them. But because of that, now it's like no one really thinks about me, I'm kind of easily forgotten and it's really lonely. Because everyone spent time bonding with a particular set of people, they all know each other really well and I feel sort of like an intruder sometimes. And I've already tried hanging out with this one group with this girl in it who used to hang out with me a lot, almost wherever I went but I have a lot of conflicting interests with most of them, and another one of the girls in that group is a girl from primary school who I remember I used to be scared of because she was kind of mean and bitchy to me. So a lot of the time, they're discussing things I totally can't enter the conversation with and sometimes plain ignoring me when I say anything. And the girl who used to follow me around thinks we're "best friends" but I don't dare tell her my real best friend is actually this girl I've known literally all my life and that I just consider her a really good friend.

Phew that was good to get off my chest. I need to sleep now but please give me some advice!

message 21: by Sarah (new)

Sarah One thing I've learned about school is don't listen to social advice from teachers. It never helped me or anyone else I have ever known, really. I can understand you wanting to know everyone to become well-known yourself, and I think that's a really brave, friendly, and quite difficult thing to do.
Naturally, I'm a very shy person so I've never started the school year by going around making friends with everyone. However next year our classes are getting jumbled around when we start doing public exams so I guess I will be making new friends next year. (Not sure how I am gonna go about doing that.)
When I started the school I am at now though, I decided to choose the easy, realistic option. Hang out with people who are kind, the ones who like stuff that you like more than anyone else, and the ones who aren't too stupid. I ended up with three good friends - one who by fate was put next to me in class, one who shared the same interests as me that I met at a club or library or something, and one who was new and I kind of adopted. We are all best friends now, and while I'm on good terms with other people, they're the ones who I hang out with basically all the time.
I've seen girls who I used to be friends with wandering from clique to clique, very lonely, because they thought they'd be clever and try to be friends with everyone. It doesn't work. All I can say is, find two or three really good friends that tick all your boxes and stick with them.

 ~❤Rikka❤~ *living is just a symptom of dying* | 122 comments It's kind of hard since my best friend and my other good friends are in a different class so I don't get to see them much since it's hard to arrange meet-ups, and stuff. And not many people in my class have the same interests as me, plus all of them already have their established cliques.

And I'm not trying to be clever and make friends with everyone... I just don't want people to hate me when they don't know me. Because I used to stick with this one group for a really long time, when I introduced this girl into it because I felt she was lonely it kind of separated me from the group because she was spending time with all of them and kind of forgetting about me too. Eventually she thought I was too clingy so she started spreading some stuff about me that I'm very sure never happened and a lot of girls in my class hated me. What she said was totally not in my character, I'm scared of boys (weird but I've spent my whole life in girls schools only) and she spread rumors about me being a slut who had supposedly cheated and flirted with guys. Obviously untrue but at that time only a few good friends I had before believed in me and I wasn't too liked at that time. So I just don't really want a replay of that.

I don't really want to butt into another clique or anything because usually, I notice whenever a new girl goes into a really close clique, theres a 70% chance of major drama. And I really don't need that kind of thing anymore, I had it twice and I'm really trying to not to make it happen again.

message 23: by Sarah (new)

Sarah I understand. I wasn't trying to be harsh in my comment, I was just saying what I learnt. Now I realise you're ina sticky situation - I've been in it too when I moved schools about three years ago. But I just told myself to ride it out for another two years before I moved to high school. Everyone had their own cliques and I was always the unspeaking one who had no idea how things were run. I ended up making 'friends' with two girls who were nice until I started talking to some other people and they started to make fun of us. I still see them now and I'm on okay terms with one, but the other I don't speak to. And hahaha, I've always been in a girls' school since I was nine, so I understand that too.

Maybe you should find a clique that you think is the friendliest, and start slow. Exchange friendly comments, small compliments... SO that it doesn't look like you're butting your way in. Is there a group who you'd like to be a part of more? Or is there, for example, one person who you talk to more than everyone else?

message 24: by Cheyenne, HoH & Proud (new)

Cheyenne | 665 comments Mod
♪ $คгคђ ♪ ™ wrote: "What do you do when your friends and teachers say you look down?

I've been told by one teacher TWICE that I looked uncheerful, unhappy, PAINED. Then my friends started making fun of it, and doing ..."

First question, I just tell them "That's just my face." I'm told often that I look angry. I always look angry. I guess that's why people are sometimes afraid to talk to me if they don't know me. I guess that's also why people say my angry face is frightening. Honestly, I would just tell them that's your normal face. If they don't know that then they obviously don't know you.

Second question, as long as you think/know you don't look like her, ignore them. Or smile and say "Thank you." and walk away. Being nice to people who are trying to irritate you REALLY confuses them. Just remember, kids are stupid. They say stupid things. Often times they don't even mean them. So just try to make peace with it, and remember that it isn't true, and that they probably know it too.

message 25: by Sarah (new)

Sarah Thanks for that. Sometimes it actually does humour me, so I laugh it all off, but you know when you've just had a bad day or you don't feel in the right mood, and you know it's stupid but you start to find yourself getting upset over nothing? Well sometimes I feel like that, and my irritated attempt at laughing it off when I'm in that mood just makes them laugh and tease even more. But I agree with you.

message 26: by Lilac (new)

Lilac  (lilac_wales) | 127 comments ~❤Will Of The Abyss❤~ (Rikka) wrote: "Why is having a clique so important?

The teachers are always telling everyone "Don't make a clique! Be friends with everyone!" And that's what I do, but it's actually really lonely. This is the se..."

Cliques are just security for most people - it means you've always got friends behind you that you can go back to at any time.
I'm in a really close group of me and 3 friends and have been since the start of year 7 and in little school there were only 4 girls in the class (and 6 boys) so I've never been in your situation. I do watch people though (I know it sounds weird!) so I've seen loads of people having to deal with it.

What I would suggest is for you to start talking to someone who's got a group already but is on her own in one of the classes you share. Chances are, they'll be so used to having friends around all the time that they'll be happy to talk to you in the one lesson they feel insecure in and therefore might start opening up to you. Eventually you'll become fairly close to her (unless she's horrible) and you can ask to hang around with her at one lunchtime. In my school you'd say "Can I come 'round with you at lunch/break" but I dunno how your school works. Unless she's mean she'll probably say yes and then you've got to be interesting when she introduces you to her friends and even if they seem to feel awkward at first they'll start being warmer when they realise their friend likes you. A few week later and Whala...You have yourself a group.

I know that sounds like a weird deciteful plan but it's not it's just what I've seen happen with loads of people in my school (I'm really observant when I'm bored).

message 27: by Cheyenne, HoH & Proud (new)

Cheyenne | 665 comments Mod
♪ $คгคђ ♪ ™ wrote: "Thanks for that. Sometimes it actually does humour me, so I laugh it all off, but you know when you've just had a bad day or you don't feel in the right mood, and you know it's stupid but you start..."

I know how you feel.

 ~❤Rikka❤~ *living is just a symptom of dying* | 122 comments @Sarah. I don't know because originally I was okay in that group. But then they started getting worked up about loads of stuff and super excited about things like Hunger Games, or Twilight, and I really wasn't into it so I guess I was kind of drifting apart a little. But I guess I shouldn't be complaining because there's this other girl who keeps trying to get into the group and honestly mos of us don't really like her. She can be nice, but she's quite bossy and rude, and her laugh sort of scares me. Like the kind of person you want to be friends with, but not close friends.

@Lilac. Haha, I think our schools are sort of different. We spend the whole day in the same class with the same people, except for higher Chinese when we shift classes. But I stay in the same classroom either way anyways lol. So that plan probably wouldn't work. Thanks for trying to help though :)

message 29: by Pirl (new)

Pirl (pirlismyname) I haven't read all of it, but here are my feelings on two subjects:

1. Curly hair.
My hair is curly, my hair is frizzy, my hair is horrible.
I love it.
I also hate it.
It's a day to day battle.
I almost never let it out of a ponytail for a whole day.

This is how I deal:
On mornings when I have time, I take a shower and come my hair when it's wet. This is important. Never come curly hair when it's dry. When I get out of the shower I put curling muss on it, it gives it shape.
However, thanks to my frizzyness, a lot depends on the weather. My hair rarely is let loose for a whole day, and I always carry at least two hairbands for emergencies. However on warm days when the humidity stands on zero, it can stay out of the safe ponytail for the whole day.
On days when I don't have time in the morning, I must deal with either - you guessed it - the classic low ponytail or whatever other hairdo I manage which looks good.

2. Cliques.
I have a problem.

I arrived at this school at the beginning of seventh grade (the beginning of secondary school in Israel.). This is a school which continued from elementary, and therefor plenty of people knew each other. Those who didn't joined cliques much faster than I did. I honestly have no idea what I did during break for the first month or two. I then became friendly with some guys, but only in the second half of the year did I become really friendly with anyone. That, plus my awkwardness around people caused by me not being used to people wanting to be friendly to me,(also my bizzaro sense of humor) is the reason I don't feel I belong anywhere.
The group I hang out with are divided into boys and girls.
Boys I hung out with from the beginning, but their interests are different and I always try too hard. Also it will probably kill any chances of any of them ever seeing me as a girl instead of a friend.
Girls are all nice, but I have no idea what to day next to them. They're divided into more groups and are all friendly with each other, and me of course, but I always feel threatened. Also I just feel left out, as they all live in the city the school is in and I don't. It took me a long time to get into a group and yet they still don't invite me when they hang out.
I also get jealous and overprotective easily. So there's this one girl whom joined this year and we became friends almost immediately. The thing is I'm uncomfortable enough around people (I hide it pretty well, I must add in her defense) but she always makes me feel like I'm just sticking to her, like she doesn't want me (or anyone, but I try harder) around. She's really nice and sweet, but she's so shy, and she never takes a stand about anything, except anything which might interest me.
As time went on she's been talking to more girls in the class but me, and I feel so jealous because, one, she's not talking to me, and also, because how come it's so easy for her, when I still feel left out about almost everything?
There's so much more to it, but I just don't know how to explain it.

Anyway, it ends up with me not really having anyone to hang with, and I end up going around the classroom in break, talking to this person for a second and this one for another.
I just don't belong anywhere.

message 30: by Sarah (new)

Sarah Oh, I wouldn't dream of combing my hair when it's dry. It just fizzes up. If I comb it when it's wet and let it dry naturally, there are usually silky curls underneath an then the top layer is like, frizzy. But as the day gets on it gets a bit wild.

message 31: by Pirl (last edited Jul 02, 2012 11:38AM) (new)

Pirl (pirlismyname) And now to a topic I believe is unique to me:

Ok, number one fact you should know before reading this:
I hate feeling stupid.

Not only do I hate feeling stupid or ignorant, it's very important for me to be able to join a conversation.

However, thanks to bullying and other mysterious things in my life I have not been exposed to popular culture in the appropriate amount. The music I listen to is consisted of very few singers and boy bands, and not even most good ones, and I don't know the names of need-to-know movies and stars.
Basically, I need someone to simply list to me everything I should know when it comes to popular celebrities, movies and anything else that comes to mind, assuming ahead of time I don't know anything.

Here's what I do know:
Who Beyonce, Brittany Spears, Miley Cyrus, Demi Lovato, Selena Gomez, Michael Jackson, Taylor Swift, Taylor Lautner(not sure how his name's spelled), Robert Pattinson(again, not sure), P!nk, Johnny Depp, Kelly Clarkson, and Kristan Stewart(again! Not sure) are, plus a few others. I'm aware of Justin Beiber, sadly, and The Wanted:D and One Direction.
I watch Glee, Vampire Diaries and Pretty Little Liars.

Help, please?

message 32: by Sarah (new)

Sarah Uhm... Well. You just want to know famous names?

message 33: by Pirl (new)

Pirl (pirlismyname) And who they are, and movies, and TV shows, and stuff like that.

message 34: by Sarah (new)

Sarah Mmkay. Do you wanna start with any questions you have that are specific about names you've heard? And I don't watch any American TV programmes other than Glee and then I watch some other English things so, I can only help you with people and movies I guess.

message 35: by Pirl (new)

Pirl (pirlismyname) Then please do.

message 36: by Sarah (new)

Sarah You want me to list basic information about the ones you've listed or just add more names that you haven't said and don't know?

message 37: by Pirl (new)

Pirl (pirlismyname) Add names. The names I listed I know pretty well.

message 38: by Sarah (new)

Sarah Josh Hutcherson - He plays Peeta in The Hunger Games and is a world-wide heart throb.

Liam Hemsworth - Plays Gale in THG and has recently been engaged to Miley Cyrus D: . He was in The Last Song too.

Katy Perry - Singer, dyes her hair different colours like pink and blue regularly . Famous songs include Firework, California Girls, Part Of Me, etc.

Rihanna - Popstar , famous songs include Only Girl In The World, We Found Love, etc.

Alex Pettyfer - HOT ACTOR

Channing Titum - HOT ACTOR . Has been in The Vow, Dear John, Magic Mike, 21 Jump Street, etc.

Jennifer Lawrence - Katniss in THG. Very popular.

There's loads more, just hold on a sec.

message 39: by Pirl (new)

Pirl (pirlismyname) Rihanna and Katy Perry I knew. They're just bad so they didn't come to mind.

message 40: by Pirl (new)

Pirl (pirlismyname) I agree about Alex, he was in that movie, Wild Child

message 41: by Sarah (new)

Sarah Yeah. :)

Nikki Minaj - Rapper/Singer

Hayley Williams - Singer, and is in Paramore the band.

Chris Brown - Singer

Zac Efron - Actor. He had a bad experience in High School Musical but when he got on to more mature films he was just LOVED. He's like, Taylor Swift's best friend. And he's hot. And he can sing.

Lady Gaga - Popstar. Weird outfits.

Jessie J - Popstar.

Katy B - Popstar

Adele - Singer.

message 42: by Pirl (new)

Pirl (pirlismyname) Thank you again.

Mary *TheBigBangTheory* *I love Louis!* | 133 comments Really? Zack Efron is Taylor's best friend???

message 44: by Sarah (new)

Sarah Welcome. Let me think..

Lana Del Rey - Singer.

Emma Roberts - Actress. She's in Wild Child and Aquamarine and stuff.

Carly Rey Jepson - Singer. That annoying song - Call Me Maybe.

Mary *TheBigBangTheory* *I love Louis!* | 133 comments Oh I like Call Me Maybe.

message 46: by Pirl (new)

Pirl (pirlismyname) Mary Poppins *TheBigBangTheory* wrote: "Really? Zack Efron is Taylor's best friend???"

I didn't know that either , LOL

message 47: by Pirl (new)

Pirl (pirlismyname) I thought it was Selena Gomez

message 48: by Sarah (new)

Sarah Well they're like good friends.

message 49: by Pirl (new)

Pirl (pirlismyname) Oh, before you say, I know all the HP actors. And also How I Met Your Mother and Buffy.

message 50: by Sarah (new)

Sarah Okay that's good :)

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