The Pen Is Mightier Than The Sword discussion

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Old Contests > Poem Application JUNE 2012

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message 1: by ℂᖺαᖇᒪἷ℮ ⊰1017 &Tardis⊱, This is my witty title (head mod) (last edited Jun 13, 2012 01:13PM) (new)

ℂᖺαᖇᒪἷ℮ ⊰1017 &Tardis⊱ (charlie_awesome) | 766 comments Mod
Read the rules here:
http://www.goodreads.com/topic/show/9...

Name of person:
Name of Poem:
Poem:



message 2: by Sarah (new)

Sarah (sarah1324) | 328 comments Do we put our name, or the name of the poem?


message 3: by ℂᖺαᖇᒪἷ℮ ⊰1017 &Tardis⊱, This is my witty title (head mod) (new)

ℂᖺαᖇᒪἷ℮ ⊰1017 &Tardis⊱ (charlie_awesome) | 766 comments Mod
Good question. Lemme change that


message 4: by Sarah (new)

Sarah (sarah1324) | 328 comments Thanks!


message 5: by Sherri (new)

Sherri (fabledhattress) Dangit! I can't click the link! STUPID PHONE!!!! *thinks VERY murderous thoughts for it* -__-


message 6: by ℂᖺαᖇᒪἷ℮ ⊰1017 &Tardis⊱, This is my witty title (head mod) (new)

ℂᖺαᖇᒪἷ℮ ⊰1017 &Tardis⊱ (charlie_awesome) | 766 comments Mod
Sorry


message 7: by Sherri (new)

Sherri (fabledhattress) Haha s'alright, I saw the rules thread. And I would enter but I don't want to win anything so I won't xD


message 8: by ℂᖺαᖇᒪἷ℮ ⊰1017 &Tardis⊱, This is my witty title (head mod) (new)

ℂᖺαᖇᒪἷ℮ ⊰1017 &Tardis⊱ (charlie_awesome) | 766 comments Mod
Just enter! It can't hurt and it doesn't seem like anyone else is posting!


message 9: by Sherri (new)

Sherri (fabledhattress) Ok ok ok, let me dig through my poem journal and find one, lol. Though about half of mime are kinda dark....


message 10: by ℂᖺαᖇᒪἷ℮ ⊰1017 &Tardis⊱, This is my witty title (head mod) (new)

ℂᖺαᖇᒪἷ℮ ⊰1017 &Tardis⊱ (charlie_awesome) | 766 comments Mod
Dark is good, that's fine. I'll take anything


message 11: by Sherri (new)

Sherri (fabledhattress) Haha alright, I'll have it up within the next hour or two :)


message 12: by ℂᖺαᖇᒪἷ℮ ⊰1017 &Tardis⊱, This is my witty title (head mod) (new)

ℂᖺαᖇᒪἷ℮ ⊰1017 &Tardis⊱ (charlie_awesome) | 766 comments Mod
Awesome


message 13: by Sherri (new)

Sherri (fabledhattress) Yay I'm posting the first one! xD Hahaha!

Name: Sherri
Title of Poem: Sinking Sorrows

Poem:

I wanna sink,
maybe go to the deep.
Maybe I should drink,
drink away the pain 'til I sleep.

Forever gone the pain,
lost like a numbed soul.
It always will rain,
in this dark and lonely cold.


message 14: by Just Joe (new)

Just Joe (justjoe) Name: Joe
Poem Title: Ignorance is Bliss?

Poem:
A silent plea for help,
A wave of ignorance,

Looking but not seeing,
Waving franticly,

You can't see me can you?
I'm right here!

Help me!
Screaming, shouting,

Only silence.
Nothing there?

Think again.
Here I am

A smile
A mask of course,

Now you see me.
Of course it's when I'm smiling.

You ignore the me that's depressed and alone
Choosing to see the happy facad.

You can't even tell it's a mask?
hard to believe seeing as it's cracked.

It might even shatter with all your ignorance.
Can't you see?

I'm breaking inside!
No you can't see.

You are blinded by the perfect child disease.
You think you know me but have you ever crawled?

Of course you've crawlled
But ever into my skin?

In my brain to truly know me?
No.

Of course not.
That's only science fiction.

You can't read my mind.
You can't read my emotions.

But my body language.
That you can read.

Look harder!
Look into me!

Understand and help.
Dark places aren't fun.

That's where I am.
A dark place.

A scary place.
Pull me out.

Be my sunshine.
Be my escape.

Wrap me in warm safe arms.
Not, slimy black spiny tenticals of darkness.

Bring on the happiness,
Bring on tears of joy.

Not tears of pain.
Not depression and loneliness.

You can fix it.
But how do you fix something you don't even know is
Broken?


message 15: by Sherri (new)

Sherri (fabledhattress) Oh, dang...That was great :S


message 16: by Just Joe (new)

Just Joe (justjoe) Thanks. I wrote that a few months ago because I had just come totems with my sexuality and my parents are kind of homophobic...


message 17: by Sherri (new)

Sherri (fabledhattress) Lol yeah....my parents don't know exactly what I like yet xD well they kinda know a little but no more than skimmed the surface heh


message 18: by Lynxie (new)

Lynxie Lynxie
Your Sadness Mirrored
Poem:

The coldness of an angry lover makes you cry,
You've lost his love, but still no closure, wonder why?
Lying in her arms helped you with the coping,
All the while wishing for his love, always hoping.
She strokes your back with a friendly tenderness,
You wish for a comfort that is warm and genderless.
Held tightly, you toss in your sleep,
The wounds he's caused have cut you deep.

You see your sadness mirrored in her stare,
She will be the one that is always there.
When they leave you, crying and alone,
All you have to do is pick up the phone.
Let her see your soul break in two,
She will be there to comfort you.
When you lose your heart in their demands,
There she'll be, with hers in her hands.


message 19: by Sherri (new)

Sherri (fabledhattress) *applauds greatly* I think you both deserve 1st!!!!


message 20: by Lynxie (new)

Lynxie Thanks Sheri! Mine is also written about a gay guy. Not me obviously :P

Seems to be a bit of a theme here Just Joe :)


message 21: by ℂᖺαᖇᒪἷ℮ ⊰1017 &Tardis⊱, This is my witty title (head mod) (new)

ℂᖺαᖇᒪἷ℮ ⊰1017 &Tardis⊱ (charlie_awesome) | 766 comments Mod
Wow all three of those are great!


message 22: by Cat (last edited Jun 14, 2012 03:46PM) (new)

Cat (coffeecat19) Name of person: Katherine Della-Rayna Emory
Name of Poem: Lily
Poem...


My friend Christine lost her little baby after the father shook her to death. I wrote this for her on the anniversary of the babys death.

Free from Darkness,
Free from Fear,
Happiness is always here,
Your baby might not be here on this glorious God-given day,
But she's in your heart, and she's there to stay,
You may want your little girl to hold,
but her name is forever written on God's heart, in gold.
Be bold, be bold,
for this you know,
Your love for her will only grow.



message 23: by lafon حمزة, Pensmaster! (new)

lafon حمزة نوفل (lafon) | 178 comments Mod
There is some really good stuff here. On a more personal note the poem by Katherine strikes me really close to home (not for the same circumstances), because my youngest sister was born with a serious heart defect, and we weren't sure if she was going to live or not.

The point of my comment is poetry is supposed to evoke an emotion in the person reading it, and so far I'd say you all succeeded.
In the first two I got a sort of depressed feel out of it (not a bad thing, after all look at Edgar Allan Poe, and he is just one example. Also negative emotion tends to resonate more than positive ones.)
With Lynxie's poem there is more of a subdued positivity that gives one a muted hope (obviously not becasue of the heartbreak, but rather acknowledging that there are others around oneself who will stick by one's side at the worst of times.)
And with Katherine's poem it accepts that (not just in context of the event, which is very raw and immediate) but moreso for future sorrows) bad things do happen, and (this is what I got out of it) allows one to feel the grief of the event, but to still leave room not to forget, and yet still move foreward.


message 24: by Cat (new)

Cat (coffeecat19) Thanks!!!


message 25: by ℂᖺαᖇᒪἷ℮ ⊰1017 &Tardis⊱, This is my witty title (head mod) (new)

ℂᖺαᖇᒪἷ℮ ⊰1017 &Tardis⊱ (charlie_awesome) | 766 comments Mod
This is going to be hard!


message 26: by Lynxie (new)

Lynxie Thanks Lafon :D I'm glad you liked it!


message 27: by Sarah (new)

Sarah (sarah1324) | 328 comments I like all of these poems! Awesome guys!


message 28: by Cat (new)

Cat (coffeecat19) Jasana wrote: "Name: Jasana
Poem Name: Insanity
Poem:

You’re here

Where is here?

Sitting in the dark damp prison

It’s too dark

You know nothing else but pain

It hurts, it hurts, it hurts

You know nothing o..."




THIS IS AMAZING!


message 29: by Sarah (new)

Sarah (sarah1324) | 328 comments I am jealous of you guys... You are all amazing at writing poetry!


message 30: by [deleted user] (new)

Name: Kaya
Poem: Coffee Shop

Coffee shop
A shot
Not the kind in your latte

Bullets fly
Five fall
Two die

He's on the run
Holds the gun
Can't believe what he has done

Parking lot
She's paying the slot
Another shot

What's one more death
What's one more life
Stolen
What's one more heart
Stopped

Could've been you
Could've been me

He grabbed the keys
Tore down the street
Park the car
Kill the start

A tear for each fallen
Hell is callin'

A siren wails and he hightails
Sounds of screams in his mind
Wants to leave it all behind
Holds the gun up to his head

One
More
Dead


message 31: by ℂᖺαᖇᒪἷ℮ ⊰1017 &Tardis⊱, This is my witty title (head mod) (new)

ℂᖺαᖇᒪἷ℮ ⊰1017 &Tardis⊱ (charlie_awesome) | 766 comments Mod
Wow this is going to be really hard


message 32: by lafon حمزة, Pensmaster! (new)

lafon حمزة نوفل (lafon) | 178 comments Mod
Wow. As Charlie said, this is gonna be tough.

I think I'll still write my thoughts in the chronological order in which I read the poems. (Also I'll make this post a little more orderly than my previous one.)

Oh, and before I start all thoughts are my own, and all interpretations are my own. Opinions on the other hand might belong to the other person living in my head. No promises though.

So,
Jasana: Insanity is the title of yours. For me reading it is like reading of an argument between a person and their captor. Not a literal physical captor, but rather an emotional or chemical one. Something that prevents happiness, something that allows you to walk around and look at the world around you without seeing (a big distinction). The prison is not so much the "walls" but more importantly that fourth wall (any actor will know what I mean by this). The fourth wall is one that's not physically there, but is likely the one that is the most important, and the most painful. It looks like it doesn't exist, but you know it does. Your poem in the end evokes a sense of desperation and depression. (And as before, a wonderful thing it is.)

Kaya: Your poem strikes incredibly close to home for me. Some of my family lives where something similar happened. A while back a strange man went crazy in a coffee shop, thankfully without the same lethality. At any rate, I really like yours, and it has it's own hidden meaning. From a strictly aesthetic standpoint the rhythm (as a spoken word artist) is pleasing.

And last, but not least,

Katnuto: The lotus is not just a flower, but also steeped in mythology (which I happen to very much enjoy reading). There is a lot of symbolism in the poem you wrote. In fact I could probably write a thesis on it regardless if you meant some of the things I would pick out of it or not. A quick question. Which Immortals series are you speaking of?

All in all there is some really good stuff here. And as it is close to the end of the month I wish to thank all of the contestants for their entry's. It was a lot of fun reading (and thinking) about them all.

A final question to all. For the most part a lot of these poems are in the painful end of the spectrum of emotion. Do you find it easier to write in the negative (anger, sadness, depression etc.) than the positive (happiness, pleasure, excitement etc.)?


message 33: by [deleted user] (new)

lafon~
first, I'm glad that you got something from it. A poem is useless if one doesn't have a connection to the words. also I'm glad that you liked the rhythem, I've gotten quite a bit of feedback on that aspect of this poem and am humbled by the fact that it just sort of... came out that way.

And to answer your question, yes. my poems tend to be very dark, even if I don't start them that way that's always how they seam to end up. I don't know... when I write it's almost like an OBE, and then I come back to reality, look down at the paper and am like, "Oh, well, look at that!"


message 34: by Lynxie (new)

Lynxie Lafon... I do have happier poems, but it's usually the strong emotions that cause the words to fall into place and happiness to me is best shared in person. I tend not to write too much poetry when I'm happy.

I also used to use writing poetry as a way to deal with depression, a way to work through the illogical thoughts and feelings depression can often wrap you up in.

Maybe next contest I'll post a happier one :P


message 35: by lafon حمزة, Pensmaster! (new)

lafon حمزة نوفل (lafon) | 178 comments Mod
Lynxie wrote: "I also used to use writing poetry as a way to deal with depression, a way to work through the illogical thoughts and feelings depression can often wrap you up in.

Maybe next contest I'll post a happier one :P "


Oh, I didn't want anyone to think that I wanted the happier poems to show up necessarily, it was just I also tend to write with anger and pain. (stories, not poems. With poetry it's usually something I do only after I've been in nature, and so it tends to be more wondrous than my writing.)

Ƙȧƴȧ wrote: "And to answer your question, yes. my poems tend to be very dark, even if I don't start them that way that's always how they seam to end up. I don't know... when I write it's almost like an OBE, and then I come back to reality, look down at the paper and am like, 'Oh, well, look at that!'"

Ah, OK. I can understand what that's like, as I've seen it happen with myself.

The reason I asked was not so much the fact that there was a lot of the darker poetry, but rather because I myself find that writing in anger (although not when I'm depressed. Then I usually go for a run.) is way easier than writing when I'm happy, and I wanted to see what others thought or felt.


message 36: by Just Joe (new)

Just Joe (justjoe) Lafon~

I do write happy poetry though not much, I have a harder time writing happier poems unless I have a prompt like give me three lines to use in a poem and I can do it. I feel that it is easier to write more depressing and angry poetry than anything else. I usually get y inspiration in the middle of the night and most of my poems are based off of deep emotions that I usually only express through poetry. I'm not good with sharing feelings hahaha people say I don't bottle up my emotions but if I didn't I'd be an utter mess.


message 37: by Lynxie (new)

Lynxie Seems we all seem to have a fairly similar experience with the darker poetry :)


message 38: by ℂᖺαᖇᒪἷ℮ ⊰1017 &Tardis⊱, This is my witty title (head mod) (new)

ℂᖺαᖇᒪἷ℮ ⊰1017 &Tardis⊱ (charlie_awesome) | 766 comments Mod
THE JUDGES ARE DECIDING THE RESULTS


message 39: by Sarah (new)

Sarah (sarah1324) | 328 comments I feel bad for the judges. It will be impossible to choose!!!!


message 40: by lafon حمزة, Pensmaster! (new)

lafon حمزة نوفل (lafon) | 178 comments Mod
Happy July y'all! Or if you're in Canada, happy Canada Day!

Sarah wrote: "I feel bad for the judges. It will be impossible to choose!!!!"

Does this mean we get a prize for being so self-sacrificing that we are able to make an impossible choice?


message 41: by Sarah (new)

Sarah (sarah1324) | 328 comments Um... I don't know.


message 42: by ℂᖺαᖇᒪἷ℮ ⊰1017 &Tardis⊱, This is my witty title (head mod) (new)

ℂᖺαᖇᒪἷ℮ ⊰1017 &Tardis⊱ (charlie_awesome) | 766 comments Mod
We should get a prize!

WOW THIS HAS BEEN HARD. ALL THESE POEMS WERE AMAZING!!!!
Thank you to all who applied! Next month will be short stories!
But after many hours of deliberation us judges have reached a decision

The winner is........
Jasana! With her epic poem Insanity!
Others don't be sad, all these poems were awesome!
JASANA!! Congrats! You will be mod if you want to!



message 43: by lafon حمزة, Pensmaster! (new)

lafon حمزة نوفل (lafon) | 178 comments Mod
Let me add my congratulations to Jasana here.
Also to the rest of you, your poems made the job incredibly hard for us, and for that I thank you. It was really enjoyable to read all your pieces this month.
Finally a thanks to all of you for making the contest a success by entering your poems.
Now all I can say is good luck to whomever decides to enter July's contest.
Have fun!


message 44: by Lynxie (new)

Lynxie Congrats Jasana! Well deserved!


message 45: by Sarah (new)

Sarah (sarah1324) | 328 comments Good job Jasana and everyone else as well! All of the poems were great! I am jealous of all of your guys' poetry skills!


message 46: by Sherri (new)

Sherri (fabledhattress) Congrats Jasana! :)


message 47: by ℂᖺαᖇᒪἷ℮ ⊰1017 &Tardis⊱, This is my witty title (head mod) (new)

ℂᖺαᖇᒪἷ℮ ⊰1017 &Tardis⊱ (charlie_awesome) | 766 comments Mod
July will go up 2moro I promise. Been busy.


message 48: by Sherri (new)

Sherri (fabledhattress) Yeesh, I don't write short stories xD I'll sit that one out lol


ps. Charlie....hi ^_^


message 49: by lafon حمزة, Pensmaster! (new)

lafon حمزة نوفل (lafon) | 178 comments Mod
ℂᖺᗩᖇᒪἷᙓ ❀Gale❀ wrote: "July will go up 2moro I promise. Been busy."

No worries Charlie. I was just wondering is all.


message 50: by ℂᖺαᖇᒪἷ℮ ⊰1017 &Tardis⊱, This is my witty title (head mod) (new)

ℂᖺαᖇᒪἷ℮ ⊰1017 &Tardis⊱ (charlie_awesome) | 766 comments Mod
Yeah sorry it's okay I've been planning to do it everyday and forgetting :p

ps- Sherri....hi!!! :DDDDD


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