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Discussions and Questions > Best romance quotes; and others that are MEH!

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message 1: by Mermarie (new)

Mermarie | 956 comments Mod
I stole this list off the Daily Blowhole. I thought they were outrageously hilarious. What are some of your favorite romance quotes, or ones that made your eyes roll forevermore?!

20> His body was hard — not hard like Milosevic, the Serbian strongman, but hard like the marble on your shower floor, when you fall and bang your knee.

19> Her shoulders heaved like the tiny sobs of Snuggles the cat being run through with a roasting spit.

18> Her embrace made his manhood swell like week-old roadkill on hot asphalt in the Georgia sun.

17> Her petticoats dropped to the ground, rustling like a cockroach in a sugar bowl.

16> As she kissed her way down his manly chest, he felt his Amalgamated Crane Company stock increasing in value.

15> Beatrice was on him like a piranha on a corn dog.

14> …then he kissed her, like a butterfly kisses the windshield of a Porsche on the Autobahn.

13> Her breasts heaved like a stormy ocean, and her pointed nipples were like hypodermics washed up on the shore.

12> With his broad shoulders and slim waist, he was a yield sign — yet she could NOT!

11> He tore open her blouse like a Publisher’s Clearing House letter in which he, and some guy named Steven Bouber from Stockton, California, were potential finalists for the ten million dollar prize.

10> His manhood stood at full attention, stiff and stony like the vice president.

9> Sleekly malevolent, driven by a violent hunger, Donovan glided through the chum-filled waters of the singles bar,
oblivious to the remora of Annabelle’s adoring gaze.

8> Like the wind, she ran, her breasts lurching like a motor boat over a wake, and then, as fluid as a fine imported transmission, she whipped out her man-organ and pissed away his dreams.

7> Her sun-glazed back formed a golden arch as he moved his face toward her happy meal.

6> With each breath, her chest heaved like a bulimic after Thanksgiving dinner.

5> He Beatty-ed her shamelessly, making her squeal like Ned and hallucinate like Warren.

4> He awoke my slumbering womanhood with his double tall loin latte. “Starbuck!” I cried.

3> His chest was her pillow, and oh, did she drool.

2> Claire felt swept away by this dark stranger, a helpless dust bunny in the roaring cacophony of his gas-powered leaf blower.

Number 1 bad Romance novel metaphor or simile…

1> His finger, weathered and rough from years on the ranch, danced in and out of his nose like a slimy ballerina.

message 2: by Willow (new)

Willow  | 146 comments ROFL!!! Holy cow! Those are awful!

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