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Glinda the Gallifreyan Hi everyone! This one here is a poem that I wrote the first nine stanzas for in my math class about two months ago. The first line just popped in my head, and I started writing. It's the story of how I became friends with the girl who is now my BBFFAA (Bestest Best Friend Forever And Always), and whom I'm as close as a sister to.

"On and On"
Time goes ever no and on
Through your life, all day long,
In times of love and moving on,
Time goes ever on and on.

Late on one December morn
A true friendship once was born
'Tween two teen girls: random set
In a class project was how they met.

It didn't take long for them to find
A dear friend in the other, deep inside.
Though through project they did meet,
Now soul sister they did greet.

One had come, friendless, alone,
To the world of the unknown.
Though some friends she did make,
They weren't true when much was at stake.

The other had come across the miles,
From town to town, through tears and smiles.
Through younger brother, dead and gone,
And homeschooled months time had flown.
Two short years at Banyan school;
A couple friends, none called 'cool.'

Time goes ever on and on
Through your life, all day long.
In times of love and moving on,
Time goes ever on and on.

Through trial and trouble
Their friendship did double
'Till one would know what the other would say
With one knowing glance sent her way.

Advice was given and advice was taken.
In the end, neither were beaten
By the problems that were faced
In their life, though no memories were erased.

We haven"t been friends for a full two years,
And we've had times were we've shared cool tears;
But we've also had laughter and times of joy
With many a joke about the passing boy.

We're different in many ways,
Though our similarities could be listed on for days.
A soul sister is close to heart,
And that's how we are, never to part.

It may not take lots of time
To come up with fancy rhyme,
But neither does a friendship 'tween two common souls
Who wouldn't fail to miss each other in a sea of gold.

Time goes ever on and on,
Through your life, all day long,
We'll always be friends,
Despite the ends.
In times of love and moving on,
Time goes ever on and on.


message 2: by Grace, Head Moderator (new)

Grace (fictionaladventures) | 896 comments Mod
Ok here's my review:

First stanza is VERY good

'Tween two teen girls: random set
Hmmmm I don't really get this line.

The other had come across the miles,
From town to town, through tears and smiles.

I like this couplet!

Overall, I liked it. You are a good writer, but I can see much room for improvement. Just keep working at it! Have you ever tried prose writing?


Glinda the Gallifreyan Alright: 1st line-- between two teen girls, random set in a class project, as specified by the next line. It's talking about the friendship that developed between the girls that started when they met with the project.

And thank you. :) You say I can improve.. can you give a bit more specific example?

By prose writing, do you mean short stories? If you do, then absolutely, yes! Actually, I like writing short stories then poems, though I love both. :) I'll post one of my stories in a few minutes.


Glinda the Gallifreyan Here's one of my stories, titled "Aloha Pineapple." I"m considering changing Bree's name to Aaralyn Akiyana, and Emma's to Elizabeth Brooks. Bree and Emma just doesn"t feel right to me, for some unexplainable reason. Anywho, tell me what you think!

http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/2...


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