Fifty Shades of Grey (Fifty Shades, #1) Fifty Shades of Grey discussion


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Fifty Shades Of Grey: Not For The Christian Woman

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message 1: by Holly (last edited Jun 04, 2012 10:31AM) (new)

Holly I have not read this book, and after reading the blog I want to share with all of you, I am glad. First of all, I'm fourteen, so it's not like I would have gotten to read it even if I wanted to, but I don't think other Christian women, no matter their age, should read it either!
Before I finish, I want to kindly ask everyone to please refrain from posting unless you're Christian, because I'd rather not cause a religious arguement, but only warn Christian women about the dangers of reading this book. And also, I didn't put this thread up to yell at anyone for reading the book. Read it all you want: I have my own self to worry about. I only posted it because I thought it might be a good thing for Christian women to read if they weren't sure how this book might sit with Jesus.

And here's the link to the blog! http://www.truewoman.com/?id=2095
Please take heart of these words, because they are oh so true! And read the other stuff on the blog too, because it's a pretty good one!


CaroleDee Your post makes me sad for you :(
You're 14. You aren't even familiar with your own sexuality, yet you're going to condemn others for their choices? I'm going to blame it on listening to people like the woman that wrote that blog post. Yes, she's entitled to her opinion, but honestly she used a online dictionary as a source for her definition of erotic romance. That's not cool. Erotic romance is NOT porn. That would be erotica. I really don't feel comfortable describing the difference to a fourteen year old, so I suggest that when you're eighteen you need to take a chance and discover the difference for yourself.

To give you a broader aspect of Christianity, I believe in God, I consider myself a Christian, but I believe my God is a forgiving one. Not to mention he has far more important things to worry about than what I'm reading. It's great that you live in a secular world where what others read seems like a top priority to your God, but I suggest flipping your tv to a news station, picking up a newspaper, or since you're so fond of the internet, checking out a news blog. There is war, there is famine, there are people dying of horrible diseases. You see, my God has bigger things to worry about.

Live your life for you! You know what your personal boundaries are. You don't need some random blogger telling you what to watch, listen to, or read.


Katrina Passick Lumsden Abigail, I'm going to agree with CaroleDee and say that, at 14, you probably shouldn't be limiting yourself like this. Your views and opinions will change greatly as you age, believe me.

As for other Christian women; it is their right and responsibility to properly research the things they want/decide to read. If they don't, that is on them. No one should be made to feel bad regarding their choice of entertainment if said entertainment is not hurting anyone.

All that being said....honestly, no one should read this book because it's a horribly written pile of dung.

:)


Paris        (kerbytejas) CaroleDee wrote: "Your post makes me sad for you :(
You're 14. You aren't even familiar with your own sexuality, yet you're going to condemn others for their choices? I'm going to blame it on listening to people ..."


very nicely expressed - thank you


Alanna Abigail, let me tell you something. When I was 14 I was almost exactly like you. I spent my entire life as a child and young teenager in the church. I held on to a particular belief system - Jesus saves, sex is to be saved for marriage and a whole host of other things. To this day I am still a woman of faith and spiritually.

I believe in a higher power then myself, and that there is some life after this one - just to name a few. At 14 you honestly have no idea of what kind of person you want to be when you "grow up" and at 30 years old let me tell you it's something I am still striving to discover. I thought, at 14, that I would be blissful and happy for the rest of my life and marry the man of my dreams and we would live the fairy tale kind of life and maybe even still be involved with my church.

Sex is a journey of discovery. Not only for yourself, but for the person you embark on that journey with. You will make lifestyle choices, and develop personal preferences once you embark on that journey and limiting yourself so young, while you're still so innocent and uninformed is not a wise choice to make. Sure, the lifestyle in this book is NOT for everyone but before you condemn something you should at least figure out what it's all about - if you decide that something isn't for you then good for you. But please don't hold it against other people who have made their own choices and found what works for them.

And, I agree with the comment above. The book is HORRIBLY written. I'm sure you could find something much better to read based on THAT alone.


Lady Turtles Abigail wrote: "I have not read this book, and after reading the blog I want to share with all of you, I am glad. First of all, I'm fourteen, so it's not like I would have gotten to read it even if I wanted to, bu..."

I'm going to discuss some things about porn and erotica here, none of which will be explicit. I'm warning ahead of time because I don't want someone to get offended because I didn't warn them first.

First of all. 50 Shades of Grey is terrible and shouldn't be read by anyone, east of all someone looking for an decent depiction of what BDSM is like.

Secondly, Abigail, I read that blog post and I have to tell you that it's misleading about a lot of things. These are countering the article's reasons, so they will go in that order.

1. Erotica isn't the same thing as porn. It's not porn for women or porn for anyone. Porn exists to get you turned on. Erotica is about using art to celebrate human form and sexuality. Two things god gave us, one of which was based on god himself even. Erotica can turn people on, but it doesn't have to and it's not exclusively meant to.

The bible even has erotica in it. Don't believe me? Read the Song of Songs (or the Song of Solomon) in the old testament. It has an entire section devoted to expressing the joy and love between a man and a woman, including physical love.

2. "Erotica" (Read as porn because the writer of the blog doesn't know the difference between the two) doesn't rob you of real sex. The article she was referring to was talking about a handful of men who find themselves preferring porn to their wives or girlfriends. There was no research to back this up, or any studies done from what I can tell. And the author even admitted that after not reading porn for four days he had no problem enjoying sex again.

3. I can't say I've ever cared that my boyfriend looks at porn. I like watching Criminal Minds to see the eternally sexy Shemar Moore run around acting like an FBI agent. I've never compared my boyfriend to Shemar Moore or been less interested in him because he doesn't look like Shemar Moore. He's never expressed any dislike of me or my appearance because I don't look like a porn star.

4. BDSM Bondage, Masochism, sadism, dominance are not ugly things. They aren't bad, sinful, evil or dirty. Most people in a BDSM relationship have a great deal of trust and respect for their partners. They trust that their partner will respect their boundaries and they respect the boundaries of their partner. Despite what the name implies there is equality in this kind of sex.


message 7: by Katrina (last edited Jun 04, 2012 06:16PM) (new) - rated it 1 star

Katrina Passick Lumsden Lady Turtles wrote: "Abigail wrote: "I have not read this book, and after reading the blog I want to share with all of you, I am glad. First of all, I'm fourteen, so it's not like I would have gotten to read it even if..."

*Applauding*

Not to mention the fact that, sexual scenarios aside, the book depicts a highly abusive relationship.


Grace I'm Christian, fifteen, and I read this book (the whole series, actually). So I think that my perspective will be useful to you.

As I said, I read this book. Does that mean I have a great desire to read other books like this? No. Does that mean I want to read "mommy porn" as this person puts it? No. Do I want this kind of realationship? No. I take this as what it is-a fictional book (and not a very good one at that).

In an interview, an author named Jo Knowles said, "I think a lot of people are terrified. They want to protect their kids and they unwisely think that keeping their kids from reading books that expose them to the real world will help do that. Actually, I think it does the opposite. As I always say, books shed light on the darkness, they don’t perpetuate it."

She said this about book banning, but I think that this applies to this book as well. I don't think that you should listen to other people's opinions to make your own judgements. What's right for them might not necessarily be right for you.
With this point, I think that this article misunderstands a lot of things. The other posts confirm it. And honestly, not to make fun of this person's or your views or anything, but I would like to meet the man who prefers watching porn to having the real thing.

I respect your opinion and your beliefs. And just because I'm your age and Christian does NOT mean that you should read it. I am not trying to get you to read it, or anything else like it. I'm simply saying that you should not measure what you think with someone else's ruler, especially a ruler that is a little warped.


Erin Abigail wrote: "I have not read this book, and after reading the blog I want to share with all of you, I am glad. First of all, I'm fourteen, so it's not like I would have gotten to read it even if I wanted to, bu..."

I'm a Christian woman who recently read the book and I disagree. There is a difference between reading things and actually doing them. First of all, it depends on how strong your will is. I'm 23 and unmarried, and these were things I had thought about for years secretly before reading 50 Shades.

The relationship between Christian and Ana is not a healthy one, romantically or sexually. He is not a healthy partner for Ana. However, for me as a single woman, the book forced me to deal with the fact that I have a desire for my future husband and I to have a healthier version of the relationship Christian and Ana have. Kinky sex and all. I was scared by this thought, especially because I am a pastor's daughter, so I prayed about it and then decided to speak to my mom, who simply told me: "The marriage bed is undefiled."


message 10: by Alys (new) - rated it 1 star

Alys Marchand Katrina wrote: "Lady Turtles wrote: "Abigail wrote: "I have not read this book, and after reading the blog I want to share with all of you, I am glad. First of all, I'm fourteen, so it's not like I would have gott..."

Katrina is right. Ana spends much of the first book terrified and agreeing to things hoping it'll divert him from beating her. Proof that this is abuse is how often she describes wanting to get away from him and calling what he did assault, her word, not mine, and trying to come to terms with him hitting her after she said she didn't want to be hit. It gets worse from there. In the third book, after he's supposedly changed, he bails on a business meeding and flies cross country because he was so livid at Ana for having the sheer gall to actually go out with her best friend instead of staying in, even though he found out after getting back that staying home would have meant she would have been there when someone broke in intending to rape her. You'd think he'd have at least been relieved she wasn't there. Instead he wanted to beat her for disobeying him, and Ana was afraid. What kind of healthy, romantic relationship is this?

Abigail, I'm glad you're not going to read these books. Sexuality aside, these books have led a lot of girls and women to think that a relationship with someone like Christian Grey is ideal. I had someone like him. More than a decade ago I escaped, and I'm still dealing with the scars. An ideal man is one who respects you and supports you, not one who breaks into your apartment when you sent an e-mail saying you don't want to see him anymore intent on having sex with you to remind you what you supposedly liked about him (he planned rape - sex with someone he believed didn't want to see him - and this is supposed to be proof of love).


message 11: by Holly (new)

Holly 2012 to 2015. I must say I sometimes think about this topic page (much more now since the movie just came out) sometimes, and I feel so silly now.

Everyone who rightly said that my views and opinions would change as I aged were so right. More than I ever could've believed. While I still haven't read the book or watched the movie, I must say that I could never EVER shame anyone for doing so now. And I cannot believe I did. Maybe Jesus is laughing with me. ;)

I have seen quite a few people say that 50 Shades is a poor example of the BDSM community and often has more abuse and creepy shit than a healthy BDSM couple would ever think of, though.

I came here to delete this topic, but I can't without going through a couple of other people, so I thought I'd just post a formal apology for my 14 year old self and all the shit I thought I was so right on then. ;) I'm sure when I'm 20, I'll look back on things from this year and shake my head in embarrassment too. So it goes. One thing I am happy for, though, is that you all were semi-gracious with me. <3


RoseAnn I wasn't involved in the initial discussion but I wanted to respond with admiration for your own awareness and the fact that you came back and apologized for your previous thoughts.

Be forewarned that the self-awareness doesn't end at 17. I have found that my life is greatly populated by moments that have caused me to look back and wonder what I was thinking. I'm 40 and have accepted the fact that growing up continues for our whole adult life!


message 13: by Mary (new)

Mary Abigail wrote: "2012 to 2015. I must say I sometimes think about this topic page (much more now since the movie just came out) sometimes, and I feel so silly now.

Everyone who rightly said that my views and opin..."

God bless you, Abigail!


Veronika Abigail wrote: "2012 to 2015. I must say I sometimes think about this topic page (much more now since the movie just came out) sometimes, and I feel so silly now.

Everyone who rightly said that my views and opin..."


I just bumped into this topic, and I have to agree with others: God Bless you. (Even though I am not religious).

It is nice to see, you could be polite expessing your disagreement. I think you have nothing to apologize for, you were very young (you still are) and its wonderful to see you didnt shut your mind, but opened it.

Some older people should take it as an example. Please stick with your beliefs, but do not shut your mind, and your thinking. People change with age, and that is natural. You can change, but still be true to yourself :)

I only wish more people were like you...


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