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message 1: by RandomAnthony (last edited Jan 06, 2009 03:26AM) (new)

RandomAnthony | 14536 comments Yesterday's Milwaukee Journal Sentinel had an interesting article on how some brides are trying to scale down their weddings because of the economy:


Anyway, the article has some national stats (although they're from sites that plan weddings, so they're somewhat suspect) that say the average wedding costs 28 grand. 28 grand! One of my former students invited me to her wedding, and she and I are close, so she's been talking with me about how expensive and stupid wedding planning can be. She and her fiance are paying for everything on their own, and they're trying to keep it under 15 grand, and they say it's difficult.

Questions...what's a good wedding to you? What's essential to a wedding? What's nonessential? Have you seen anything really cool at weddings? Have you seen anything particularly wasteful? Are you the type of person who would rather have a smaller wedding and save the money for something you consider more important (e.g. a house down payment) or would you rather throw a big party? Or somewhere in between?

My wife and I were married close to 15 years ago (anniversary radar...ACTIVATED...slight sidebar, I have never forgotten our anniversary, but my wife did once...it was awesome) in a small town in western NY. I just asked her how much the wedding cost, and she said about 10 grand. She and her parents used money from an inheritance to pay for it, I think, and I was young and stupid enough not to realize that we were pretty lucky on that end. Since we were in a small town there weren't a lot of choices for halls or whatever and most of the bill, according to her, went to booze. Yay our friends!:)

I don't see the importance of flowers at a wedding. They're dead plants! Don't spend a ton of money on flowers.

I like clean, simple weddings. In my eyes, anyway, simple is better. If I have to go a wedding (and I would prefer to stay home 99% of the time, thank you very much) I prefer the ones that seem about the two people in love rather than the spectacle of an ice fountain or whatever. I'm more impressed by the hope and optimism of the people at hand then I am by the address of the reception hall.


message 2: by Kevin (new)

Kevin  (ksprink) | 11469 comments I have two of my three children getting married this summer so this subject is sort of near to home. The planning has been going on for months but I asked not to be involved too much until after the first of the year because I was not sure I could keep up the proper enthusiasm needed for longer than 6 months. For my daughter I am trying to do whatever she wants because I love her. And she is trying to cut corners on cost because she loves me. So we are going to meet in a glorious middle place that will be perfect for both of us. Now for my son, I am suggesting the works (think Luke & Laura LOLOL) since I only seem to have to pay for the rehearsal dinner.

message 3: by Sally, la reina (new)

Sally (mrsnolte) | 17320 comments Mod
The wedding I planned last year at this time was supposed to be 15K Max.

It wasn't.

message 4: by Meels (last edited Jan 06, 2009 09:26AM) (new)

Meels (amelia) Well, a thread that seems just for me, today. :)

I had the big church wedding once, hated it. I never wanted it, but my then husband insisted.

This time around (got engaged day before yesterday) we agree that we just want to go over to my folks (3rd set of foster parents were the preacher and his wife at church, he doesn't preach anymore, but he's an elder - for those who know what that means) with a couple of people and have dad do it, short and sweet!

I get that a lot of little girls grow up with that dream of the "princess for a day" thing. I was just never that girl. For me, it's all about the "who", the "where", "when" and "how" are not that important. The lower key the better.

message 5: by Kevin (new)

Kevin  (ksprink) | 11469 comments i totally agree with you but i want my daughter to have what she wants within reason (no juggling clowns or talking swans) as i have not always been able to do for her what i would have liked. this is my present to her.

message 6: by Meels (new)

Meels (amelia) My sister was the same Kevin, it was a huge production with 350 people, full reception held in a ballroom. She wouldn't even get married in the church the family attends every Sunday because it was "too ugly". :) She was a total princess and loved every minute of it. Like I said, I was just never that way. I never had the dream of the big wedding. I also never played with dollies and barbies. Heh. Give me Lego and dirt clods to go with my big wheel!

If it was nicer (like July), I'd have dad do it somewhere more outdoorsy, because Larry loves that. Otherwise I just don't care.

message 7: by Kevin (new)

Kevin  (ksprink) | 11469 comments and it is supposed to be about you amelia so if you want comfortable attire, low anxiety & minimal stress and raspberry Popsicle's in the park i think that is a wonderful idea

message 8: by Meels (new)

Meels (amelia) Mmmmm, raspberrty popsicles in the park...fantasic idea! I might steal that. :)

message 9: by Meen (new)

Meen (meendee) | 1733 comments Congratulations, Amelia!!!!

Jackie "the Librarian" | 8993 comments Congrats, Amy! Woot!

I got married a week after I got out of grad school, so I had a lovely, but modest wedding at my mom's church. Mainly, we saved money by just having refreshments afterwards, including cake, but no drinks, no band, no big party. Just punch, cake, and snacks made by the church ladies, and taped music provided by Chris' roommate.
And instead of lots of expensive flowers, we had minimal flowers, and $100 worth of balloons. :)

[image error]

message 11: by Heidi (new)

Heidi (heidihooo) | 10825 comments Amy, tell us about the proposal. Please?

message 12: by Kevin (new)

Kevin  (ksprink) | 11469 comments if this is one of those REALLY clever romantic ones that makes the rest of us guys look like cro-magnon, knuckle-draggin' sucks please give us the simple details only please. jk ;)

message 13: by Heidi (new)

Heidi (heidihooo) | 10825 comments NO, NO... DETAILS! :)

message 14: by RandomAnthony (new)

RandomAnthony | 14536 comments I love Jackie's wedding pictures. She looks so classy and happy.

message 15: by Heidi (new)

Heidi (heidihooo) | 10825 comments Jackie always has great pictures. :)

Jackie "the Librarian" | 8993 comments Aww, thanks guys!

message 17: by Heidi (new)

Heidi (heidihooo) | 10825 comments Post some more, please! They always cheer me up. :)

Jackie "the Librarian" | 8993 comments Here you go, Heidi!

Me and my best friend, Gretchen:

[image error]

Chris and I eating the first piece of wedding cake:

[image error]

message 19: by Heidi (new)

Heidi (heidihooo) | 10825 comments I loooove that picture of you and Chris eating wedding cake. Chris looks pleased as punch to feed you! I don't think I've seen the one of you and Gretchen together, though. I love the bridesmaid's bouquet! You girls look as though you may have just shared an inside joke with each other.

Jackie "the Librarian" | 8993 comments I was soooo jealous of the bridesmaid bouquets, Heidi. All that gorgeous color!

message 21: by Heidi (new)

Heidi (heidihooo) | 10825 comments They look like they smelled wonderful, too!

message 22: by RandomAnthony (new)

RandomAnthony | 14536 comments You should have just grabbed one then, Jackie. You were the bride! They couldn't stop you!

Jackie "the Librarian" | 8993 comments Heh, I should have, RA. But I was so happy that day, I really didn't care.
And now I buy colorful flowers any time I want!

message 24: by Heidi (new)

Heidi (heidihooo) | 10825 comments I think you should make one for yourself/have one made for yourself just for fun. And because... why not?

message 25: by Meels (last edited Jan 07, 2009 09:47AM) (new)

Meels (amelia) Has anyone here watched the movie Shadowlands, about CS Lewis' life? Because, that was the proposal...pretty much. ;)

message 26: by Heidi (new)

Heidi (heidihooo) | 10825 comments I haven't seen it. More details, please!

message 27: by Sally, la reina (new)

Sally (mrsnolte) | 17320 comments Mod
OH that sounds nice. :) Congratulations Amelia. You're going to have so much fun, I can tell.

message 28: by Meen (new)

Meen (meendee) | 1733 comments I loved Shadowlands! (But I can't remember the proposal.)

message 29: by Dave (new)

Dave Russell I believe CS Lewis goes to the Denny's where Joy works as a waitress and serenades her with "Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You" and then pulls out the ring. She's initially embarrassed, but then the customers tell her to say yes. She does and a minister who just happens to be eating there performs the ceremony right then and there.

Although I might be thinking of a different movie.

message 30: by Meen (new)

Meen (meendee) | 1733 comments No, that sounds right. And there's something about cancer. Oh man, Ames, is your health OK?!

message 31: by Meels (new)

Meels (amelia) He's talking to her about their wedding and (btw the woman he falls in love with is American) she says to him, "We have this custom in America where they man asks the woman and the woman says, 'yes'. It's called a proposal." He tells her, "We have that here." She replies, with an impish smile, "Did I miss it?" Then he asks. I've watched Shadowlands with him, so at one point I finally quoted that line, he asked, I said, "Of course" and that was that. The next day he bought me the most perfect ring ever and two days later (today) we're going to get the marriage license. They're good for two months, so it will be somewhere in there and as simple as I can convince him to make it! :)

You should watch the film Heids! If you can, get the one with Anthony Hopkins. But, it was the old version we watched with that particular line in. I can't remember if the Hopkins version has that line or not. I liked hte Hopkins version better over all though.

message 32: by Meels (new)

Meels (amelia) Oh, and Jacks, I LOVE your pics! So sweet!!

message 33: by Meels (new)

Meels (amelia) Health's fine Min.

Dave, you're a cheeky so-n-so, but you're funny!

message 34: by Heidi (new)

Heidi (heidihooo) | 10825 comments Shadowlands is officially requested. I have to wait until it gets in at the library, but it's on the list. :)

message 35: by Meen (new)

Meen (meendee) | 1733 comments I only ever saw the one with Hopkins, and I think it does have that same dialogue about the proposal. It is definitely a tear-jerker, Heidi. Bring tissue!

message 36: by Meels (new)

Meels (amelia) Oh yeah, you WILL cry...or you are one heartless human!

message 37: by Heidi (new)

Heidi (heidihooo) | 10825 comments I cried when Bambi's mother died.

message 38: by Meen (new)

Meen (meendee) | 1733 comments OH MY GAWD, that devastated me as a kid!! I will cry now if I think about it. *not thinking about it*

message 39: by Gåry! (last edited Jan 07, 2009 10:24AM) (new)

Gåry! (garyneill) A good wedding is no wedding.
Oh, I guess I'm off-topic now.

message 40: by Kevin (new)

Kevin  (ksprink) | 11469 comments i will cry at my daughter's wedding this summer. shoot, i am crying now as i write the checks for it

message 41: by Heidi (new)

Heidi (heidihooo) | 10825 comments I also cried while watching Father of the Bride when Steve Martin didn't get to dance with his daughter or say goodbye. That was HORRIBLE!

message 42: by Meels (new)

Meels (amelia) You'll cry, for sure.

message 43: by Heidi (new)

Heidi (heidihooo) | 10825 comments I'm very sappy. I cry watching most movies.

Jackie "the Librarian" | 8993 comments Me, too. And I cried at my own wedding.

What? It was very moving!

message 45: by RandomAnthony (new)

RandomAnthony | 14536 comments Chris can't take you anywhere!


Jackie "the Librarian" | 8993 comments Sure he can, RA. He just makes sure to have a handkerchief on him at all times. :)

message 47: by Kevin (new)

Kevin  (ksprink) | 11469 comments yeah the Father/Daughter dance will be a killa

message 48: by Heidi (new)

Heidi (heidihooo) | 10825 comments Make sure all the cars are off the street, Kevin!

Jackie I cry at weddings, too. I also laugh at funerals. My mom gets sooo mad at me when I laugh at funerals. I can't help it. It's embarrassing. I try to avoid funerals for that reason.

message 49: by Kevin (new)

Kevin  (ksprink) | 11469 comments i went to a funeral today. i didn't laugh til they played Get Off Of My Cloud by the Rolling Stones at the end. i laugh sometimes too at inappropriate times like funerals or in hospitals. i guess because i don't know what else to do

message 50: by Sally, la reina (new)

Sally (mrsnolte) | 17320 comments Mod
I cried at my wedding too. Then I made a big show of shaking it off and was fine for the second half.

I also cry when people open gifts from me. It is like a nervous tic, then, and I hate it.

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