teen writers discussion

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Stories P-Z > Timothy's writing

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message 1: by [deleted user] (new)

I was told to, so I did. Here is the link to my first novel/book/story whichever synonym you prefer


link:my link text


message 2: by Paige (new)

Paige Miller Uh, I'd read it but there are like 13 chapters! Maybe later.....


message 3: by [deleted user] (last edited Dec 31, 2008 02:46AM) (new)

Haha. No need to excuse yourself. Don't even read a entire chapter; just enough to comment on the ability to compose a novel


message 4: by [deleted user] (last edited Dec 31, 2008 09:48AM) (new)

Here's my review:

"Maybe I should go outside" she said to yourself should be "Maybe I should go outside," she said to herself.

The next sentence is sort of a run-on. Here's what it could be: So she grabbed her throw and rusted key for the door, dubbing it because it slightly curved to the one side. She inserted into the door and it swung open with the loudest, most annoying sound in possible as if it was trying to get her caught by her mother. Very good sentence, though.

I noticed with the following dialouge, that when you are finished with a dialouge, you have to put a comma before the other quotation. For example:

"Too bad" replied Judge Devilsé Advoket.

Should be:
"Too bad," replied Judge Devilsé Advoket.

Hope this helps!
~Adrienne


message 5: by [deleted user] (new)

Cool Dude! Thanks. Most of my mistakes come from spelling and grammar. Thanks


message 6: by Paige (new)

Paige Miller Okay, great plot line. Very cool ideas. But you need to work on conventions (spelling and grammar)! Especially if you want to get it published. My recommendation is have someone at home read the whole thing, and just look for mistakes. It's often hard for the author to do that to their own story.


message 7: by [deleted user] (new)

oh yeah paige I know EXACTLY what you're talking about!


message 8: by Paige (new)

Paige Miller I can never EVER do that.


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