Calvin and Hobbes discussion
Best Calvin quotes
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Lulu
(last edited Aug 25, 2016 01:51PM)
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Nov 19, 2007 06:29PM

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"Any monsters under my bed tonight?"
"Nope." "No." "Uh-Uh."
"Well there *better* not be, I'd hate to have to torch one with my flamethrower!"
"You have a flamethrower?"
"They lie. I lie."
"Mom, can Hobbes and I rent a VCR and a tape tonight?"
"I don't think so, Calvin. It's a school night."
"What if we got an educational tape?"
"Like what?"
"Cannibal Stewardess Vixens Unchained."
**
"Now she won't even let us go into the store."
"I think we'd learn a lot by watching that."
"I don't think so, Calvin. It's a school night."
"What if we got an educational tape?"
"Like what?"
"Cannibal Stewardess Vixens Unchained."
**
"Now she won't even let us go into the store."
"I think we'd learn a lot by watching that."
Susie: "Talking with you is sort of the conversational equivalent of an out-of-body experience."
Hobbes: "Did you make any resolutions for the New Year?"
Calvin: "Heck no."
"I'm fine just the way I am! Why should I change? In fact, I think it's high time the world started changing to suit me! I don't see why I should do all the changing around here! If the New Year requires resolutions, I say it's up to everyone else, not me! I don't need to improve! Everyone else does! How about you? Did you make any resolutions?"
Hobbes: "Well, I had resolved to be less offended by human nature, but I think I blew it already."
Calvin: "Heck no."
"I'm fine just the way I am! Why should I change? In fact, I think it's high time the world started changing to suit me! I don't see why I should do all the changing around here! If the New Year requires resolutions, I say it's up to everyone else, not me! I don't need to improve! Everyone else does! How about you? Did you make any resolutions?"
Hobbes: "Well, I had resolved to be less offended by human nature, but I think I blew it already."




Hobbes "sure"
Hobbes "UGH. I do not want to touch worms. You put one on my hook?"
Calvin "ME? I'm not gonna spear any worms!".....

Hobbes=H
C OOPS! I forgot to read chapter five for school tomorrow.
H What are you going to do?
C He opens the window. Catch a quick cold.
C COUGH COUGH
Mom You sound terrible, Calvin. I'll go get you some cough medicine.
C It was not me it was Hobbes!
H ME? It was not me!
C I know but that syrup tastes awful.
H So you are going to have ME take it? Nothing doing, buster. I refuse!
Mom Here you go, Calvin. open up.
C NOT ME GIVE IT TO HOBBES! HE"S THE ONE WHO *GLOOMP*
C ACKTHP PBTHBBPPTH!! HACK HACK!!
C MMMM! that cough medicine is GOOD! You should try some! REALY!
H You are not fooling me one bit, you stinker.

Mom: Calvin don't just throw your wet coat on the floor! Hang it up where it belongs! I'm not looking for extra work around here.
Calvin: Oh, Like I am.
*******
(Calvin banging like crazy on pots)
Mom: Will you stop that racket!!! You're driving me crazy!
Calvin: ..and a checkmark for Tuesday.
********
(Calvin taking a test in school)
Test: What important even took place on December 16, 1773?
Calvin's written answer: I do not believe in linear time. There is no past and future: all is one, and existence in the temporal sense is illusory. This question, therefore is meaningless and impossible to answer.
Calvin: When in doubt deny all terms and definitions.
*************
(Calvin taking a test)
Test: Where is Plymouth Rock?
Calvin's written answer: I am not presently at liberty to divulge that information as it might compromise our agents in the field.
Calvin: I understand my rests are popular reading in the teachers' lounge.


i've read each book at least 3 times... and they never get old!
ok, this is as good as I can remember it...
C: where do you think we go when we die?
H: I think we go to an all girl jazz careet in st. louis (or maybe new orleans?)
C: so you believe in heaven?
C: where do you think we go when we die?
H: I think we go to an all girl jazz careet in st. louis (or maybe new orleans?)
C: so you believe in heaven?

Calvin: Nothing is more terrifying than the horrible roar of the mighty Tyrannosaurus ...
Mom: CALVIN!! Stop that clomping around!!
Calvin: ... except the blood-curdling roar of it's mom.

Probably my favorite one:
*Calvin and Hobbes in the woods, looking at a cut down tree and a pile of garbage*
C: Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

Hobbes: "What mood is that?"
Calvin: "Last minute panic."

H: We suspected as much.
C: Then why isn't anyone helping me look for them?!
(LATE AT NIGHT) C: HEY!!!

Oh, yah...
S: Oh, boy! I got all A's!
C: I feel sorry for you.
S: Why, what did you get?
C: C's
S:WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU RATHER GET A C THAN AN A?!
C:I find my life is easier the lowere i keep everyone's expectations.
"You know Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocketship underpants don't help."
People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.
LOVE CALVIN! <3
LOVE CALVIN! <3

"The problem with tigers is they have no setting between "off" and high"
"Being a parent must be nice"
"What makes you think I did it??"
-All from The Days are Just Packed
I'm a new member. One of my grandfathers introduced me to Calvin and Hobbes a while ago and I've been a fan ever since.Found out about this club from the Authoritative Calvin and Hobbes from where it was shelved.