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Marisol's Writing > Born Hollow

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message 1: by [deleted user] (last edited Mar 04, 2012 09:40PM) (new)

Griffin was an average teenager from what I could see. He did well in school; had a core group of close friends. He had a bright smile, an incredible laugh and was good looking with his shaggy black hair shiny against his natural tan. He did not know he was good looking. He never looked in a mirror for more than a split second and wore casual jeans and plain colored tee shirts every day. He switched it up with a zip up hoodie from time to time but only when he was in a foul mood. He had no romantic interests and seemed not to notice the fan fare from the girls in his classes. They must have found him the dark mysterious type. Classic crush material.

He was an outstanding student without even trying. He had a natural intellect that he found unsatisfying and somewhat embarrassing. From the mail I looked through last month he had three applications going out to local universities. He was close to his family which was why he chose to stay close by. He loved to write and had applied for just his general studies. He second guessed his dream to become a novelist and was leaning on something more substantial. Maybe a business degree like his mother.

He had a younger brother named Matthew, eleven years old, that was in middle school. They were close enough that he never looked upset to get up early and drop him off at school before going to his own. He let him walk home with his friends but was always there waiting for him to help him with his homework.

Meredith was his mother. As equally attractive as her eldest son, you could tell immediately that he took after her with her high cheekbones and flowing raven locks. She left ever morning at 6:30 sharp in her aged blue Taurus. She drove an hour into the city for her job as executive administrative assistant at a large local law firm. His father was no where to be found but it seemed that no one was looking for him. He live with his new wife and family of four on the west coast. He left them when Matthew was just two months old after a year old affair. He left on a chilly August night in a taxi, a single suitcase tucked under his arm. He never looked back, knowing he would never return to them.

I’ve only been watching Griffin Black for the last six months but his file was extensive. I knew every mile stone he made from infancy into his toddler years. There was no detail in his life that I did not already know. He was an open book and I his author. I’d been hand selected to tail him personally because it was finally time for us to intervene. It was time for him to do what he was born to do.

It was Thursday. As usual I was well hidden in the thick wooded area across from his tri-level home. The area was dense. A small paradise about a half acre across and two acres deep. I knew each inch like the back of my hand. It was the only place I could actually relax. Stretching my arms above my head I felt each shoulder pop, the sound not was invigorating as the feeling. I had the perfect view through the underbrush even though they did not know they were under my careful watch. And my protection.

The sun was threatening the burst into the sky. It would be another hot one. I could already feel the sweat waiting to burst through my skin. I pulled at a stray twig laying on the forest floor. Something was not right. I glanced at my watch. 6:34am. Meredith was late this morning. I set up a bit straighter, watching for movement in the bay window in the front family room. Four minutes passed. The first bead of sweat found itself on my right temple. This time is was not from the morning heat.

Finally the front door swung open with more force than normal. She was wearing her white power suit. It made her features even more striking. Her hair was loose around her shoulders, another first. She fumbled her keys and coffee as she opened the driver side door. She set her coffee on the roof of the car, gripping the edges of it with both hands as she hung her head. Her deep breath and sigh was audible. Then she did something unexpected.

She pushed herself off of the car with a renewed strength and walked down the middle of the drive way. Her hands tightened in and out of closed fists as she stopped at the end eyes searching the trees across the street. The hair on the back of my neck prickled as the car’s still ajar dinged repeatedly in the still air. I felt her emerald eyes finally rest on me, a snarl of a smile forming on her nude lips. A growl threatened to rise in the back of my throat. It took three deep breaths to hold it at bay.

Her whisper was carried on the humid air the rage in it seeming to make the air in front of her shimmer “You will not take my son”. She paused a moment longer then turned on her heel, slammed the car door and sped away.

Sometimes plans must change quickly.


“Proceed as planned.” I tried to keep the fear from my voice. I couldn’t tell her that two more of her kin turned up dead, slaughtered, on the edge of the territory this week. They were getting braver. And the braver they got the more deadly they were.

“Impossible. That requires him to be allowed to go tomorrow. Meredith knew I was there. She might have known I’ve been there the entire time. But she knew this wasn’t just an intelligence gathering.” I could smell her panic rising.

“There is nothing in the file for her. Chalk it up to maternal instinct and get your head back on the mission. This is vital. The stakes are rising with every moment we waste.” Silence on the other end. I could still hear her shallow breaths as she waited for a real answer. We both knew this plan was not going as we had predicted. We needed more leverage. A headache was starting behind my eyes. I lowered my voice an octave gaining her attention, “Give him something he will break all the rules for.”

A sharp but near silent intake of breath. “What do you have in mind?”

“Why you, my darling”, a smile formed slowly on my blood drenched lips.

message 2: by [deleted user] (new)

OMG that is really good! Just enought information to keep me reading, and the detail was perfect, the symobizem just right. I just have one question about the last sentance "a smile formed on my blood drenced lips.". I am just confused about that part. Is that person human? Or did she just bite her lips too hard? Anyways, this gets an A+ from me! Keep writing! I want to hear more!

message 3: by [deleted user] (new)

Thank you so much. That means a lot!!

Little spoiler for you: she's a shifter. in this case, in human form, she eats her steak as rare as you can possibly make it and technically still call it "seared". In this part, she was actually eating a meal. When she in formally introduced that information will come into light but for now I just wanted to make the reader a little spooked and intrigued, wanting to know more about her.

I will be posting the next part within the next day or two once I go back through and do a quick edit.

message 4: by [deleted user] (new)

Marisol wrote: "Ela,
Thank you so much. That means a lot!!

Little spoiler for you: she's a shifter. in this case, in human form, she eats her steak as rare as you can possibly make it and technically still call i..."

Okay, that makes more sense. I can't wait to read what happens next!!!

If you want, check out my writing folder. I need to add another part tonight.

message 5: by Roxanne (new)

Roxanne Shriver (roxannexshriver) I'm loving this so far! ^w^

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