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Past Live Events > March Live Event - That Was The Night That Was

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message 1: by Darren (last edited Feb 20, 2012 05:17AM) (new)

Darren Humphries (darrenhf) | 6980 comments My Lord, Ladies and Gentlemen (and anyone else that doesn't cover)

If it please the court, in the case of The Forum vs Darren Humphries we would like to inform the jury that the case against the defendant will be heard at 7.30pm on March 23rd 2012.

Charges range against the defendant include that he did compose a number of e-books on various themes and subjects, that he did wilfully cause said e-books to become available to the unsuspecting public through a number of online outlets and that he did further enter with malice aforethought onto several online forums to discuss openly and without care for common decency e-books, backlights and the delights of … custard.

The defendant is remanded to appear before this Forum to answer for his crimes before a jury of his peers on the evening of March 23rd 2012 at 7.30pm.

Documents to be brought in evidence are:

To Infinity
The Great Rock N Roll Doomsday Tour
Stormwreck
The Sword In The Tree
The Man From U.N.D.E.A.D. - The Curious Case Of The Kidnapped Chemist
The Man From U.N.D.E.A.D. - Zombie Apocalypse Now
An Orc Not Like Others
New York City Legend

All interested parties are invited to attend the trial and, following that, the hanging.

Lorraine will be prosecuting counsel and will post further information.


Patti (baconater) (goldengreene) | 61757 comments Oooo. Do we get to wear powdered wigs?


message 3: by Lorraine (new)

Lorraine Versini (lorraineversini) | 8999 comments Lol that was quick !


Gingerlily - The Full Wild | 36808 comments I'll be the jailer and chief torturer.


message 5: by Darren (new)

Darren Humphries (darrenhf) | 6980 comments Lorraine - Speechless for once wrote: "Lol that was quick !"

It was something I prepared earlier - Blue Peter style.


Gingerlily - The Full Wild | 36808 comments Wheres the sticky-back plastic and washing up liquid bottles?


Patti (baconater) (goldengreene) | 61757 comments And loo roll tubes. Must be loo roll tubes.

And glitter.


message 8: by Darren (new)

Darren Humphries (darrenhf) | 6980 comments Look closely between paragraphs two and three.


Gingerlily - The Full Wild | 36808 comments can't see any - must be the dumb work PC not showing it


message 10: by Kath (new)

Kath | 1965 comments did you ask an adult to help you with the cutting ?


Gingerlily - The Full Wild | 36808 comments Do we all get Blue Peter badges, or Black Darren ones maybe?


Patti (baconater) (goldengreene) | 61757 comments That would be problematic as I don't think there are any adults in our group.


message 13: by Kath (new)

Kath | 1965 comments you got a fair point there Patti !!!


message 14: by Darren (new)

Darren Humphries (darrenhf) | 6980 comments There are lots of adults in the group....just not that many responsible ones.

You can only see the sticky back plastic if your PC is running Firefox imaginaryimages plugin. It's been available on PCs for about fifteen years and so should be on the Ipad in 2027.


message 16: by Kath (new)

Kath Middleton | 25093 comments Hope I might manage to be there - I rarely go out and I've been out on each of the other two Live Event nights. Can't miss Our Darren!


message 17: by Darren (new)

Darren Humphries (darrenhf) | 6980 comments Ignite, if you use the right kind of rifle sights you won't miss me.


Patti (baconater) (goldengreene) | 61757 comments Suitable??? That badge is perfect!

I've just put a few tomatoes in the back of the fridge to ripen nicely for the night.


Gingerlily - The Full Wild | 36808 comments I have some limp and yellowing stalks of celery


message 20: by Darren (new)

Darren Humphries (darrenhf) | 6980 comments Speaking of limp and yellowing stalks ...


(*insert your own joke*)


Gingerlily - The Full Wild | 36808 comments insert where Darren?


Patti (baconater) (goldengreene) | 61757 comments Can't insert. Just bends and flops.

I meant the celery, those with filthy minds!


Gingerlily - The Full Wild | 36808 comments snigger, snigger


message 24: by Emma (new)

Emma (emzibah) | 4396 comments Teehee! You guys never fail to make me chuckle!
That'll be a fab weekend as I see Ian at his book signing on the 24th! :-)


message 25: by Darren (new)

Darren Humphries (darrenhf) | 6980 comments T-23 and counting, but who's counting? I'm not counting.

If anyone's planning to ask any deep and searching questions about the imagery of the underlying metaphors then please submit it in advance because I can only do deep and searching with at least a week's notice.


Gingerlily - The Full Wild | 36808 comments Are there any underlying metaphors?


Patti (baconater) (goldengreene) | 61757 comments Naw. All Darren's metaphors are erect and upstanding.


Gingerlily - The Full Wild | 36808 comments Apart from the celery.


Patti (baconater) (goldengreene) | 61757 comments Yes. Apart from the celery.


message 30: by Darren (new)

Darren Humphries (darrenhf) | 6980 comments Patti (Mango Mad) wrote: "Naw. All Darren's metaphors are erect and upstanding."

Patti, I'm shocked.

Not a lot, just a little.


Gingerlily - The Full Wild | 36808 comments Patti has a hangover. Be gentle with her.


Patti (baconater) (goldengreene) | 61757 comments Shhhhh


message 33: by Darren (new)

Darren Humphries (darrenhf) | 6980 comments OK, I won't SHOUT THEN!!!!!!!!!!!


Gingerlily - The Full Wild | 36808 comments Ouch - that made my headache worse!


message 35: by Jud (new)

Jud (judibud) | 18543 comments Should I stop hammering nails into the wall to hang up some pictures?


message 36: by Darren (new)

Darren Humphries (darrenhf) | 6980 comments A hangover is a self-induced condition and as such deserves no sympathy (not least because I don't get invited to places where I could induce such a condition on myself)


Gingerlily - The Full Wild | 36808 comments I am trying to imagine you looking after your two darlings with a hangover....


message 38: by Jud (new)

Jud (judibud) | 18543 comments I'd invite you out Darren if you were closer to Aberdeen...


message 39: by Darren (new)

Darren Humphries (darrenhf) | 6980 comments We're another day closer to the live event and I've decided that the route out with the best chance of success is a tunnel. I've got a vaulting horse out in the kitchen with POWs jumping over it and I've managed to dig as far as the inner barbed wire cordon.

Just don't tell the guards.


message 40: by [deleted user] (new)

Why can I hear "The Great Escape" theme tune...?

:0)


Gingerlily - The Full Wild | 36808 comments I read that as 'inner barbed wire condom'


message 42: by Lorraine (new)

Lorraine Versini (lorraineversini) | 8999 comments Gingerlily (or Cyberlily..) wrote: "I read that as 'inner barbed wire condom'"

ouch !


Patti (baconater) (goldengreene) | 61757 comments Darren (Live Event Victim #3) wrote: "We're another day closer to the live event and I've decided that the route out with the best chance of success is a tunnel. I've got a vaulting horse out in the kitchen with POWs jumping over it an..."

Sounds like home to me...


message 44: by Darren (new)

Darren Humphries (darrenhf) | 6980 comments Lorraine - the Kiss Doctor wrote: "Gingerlily (or Cyberlily..) wrote: "I read that as 'inner barbed wire condom'"

ouch !"


Double ouch


Gingerlily - The Full Wild | 36808 comments Sorry Darren. I winced on your behalf.


message 46: by Darren (new)

Darren Humphries (darrenhf) | 6980 comments Hello everyone. As the live event is rushing in towards me with the intent of tomahawk cruise missile, I have just signed up for the Smashwords Read and Ebook Week promotion which means that some titles will be available for half price (using a smashwords voucher). It starts tomorrow (that's Sunday March 4th) for 7 days.


message 47: by Lorraine (new)

Lorraine Versini (lorraineversini) | 8999 comments If anyone has any questions we could prepare in advance, please can you email them to me? This will help us organise the event and maybe go a bit deeper into some themes if we have the time. Thanks a bunch ! x


message 48: by Emma (new)

Emma (emzibah) | 4396 comments Love Darren's poem on the other thread. Will try to think of some questions for you!!!!


message 49: by Lorraine (new)

Lorraine Versini (lorraineversini) | 8999 comments He came up with it in record time ! Was very impressed !


Gingerlily - The Full Wild | 36808 comments That poem is just wonderful! Like Darren himself...


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