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Eat Pray Love (As always be aware: *Spoilers Possible*)
Sorry, this may be a bit long in the tooth - I've blogged & journaled about Eat Pray Love and this is as brief as I can be:Reading about Liz Gilbert's journey was emotional, interesting and provided another way of looking at certain things, a way I hadn't thought of before. I loved her vivid descriptions of Italy, India and Indonesia, places I've never been to and my fascination with traveling to foreign countries continues now! I got bored through what I call her "history lessons" about the spiritualities she was exploring, but I pushed on and glad for it! Perhaps it was my connection to feeling and knowing (that at one point) things were very wrong in my life, the common struggle with deep, dark, overwhelming and consuming depression, searching for a purpose or a meaning for my life, questioning spirituality... While I didn't relate to everything, I connected with her journey, enjoyed her conversational writing style and as I read, heard her warm and soothing voice narrating along with me.
I knew going in to this read that she was on a different level than I am, financially speaking, and therefore I knew she was able to go on whatever kind of journey she wanted to because she had the means and I was ok with that. Was I a bit envious now and again, of the freedom her financial means gave her to explore herself and go on this journey? Of course! (I am human, afterall!) But I didn't feel the essence of her journey was any different than any of ours!
I was honestly surprised by the extent of the emotional reactions to her as a result of what she'd written! The seething hatred I've felt in reviews of "Eat Pray Love" on personal blogs and book review sites like GoodReads comes from pure jealousy (in my humble opinion). Appearances are incredibly deceiving and even Ms. Gilbert acknowledged that she appeared to "have it all:" Big beautiful house, successful husband, successful career and money. But did having all of these mean she was doing what was right for herself? In her case, no and she gave up the house, the husband and a great deal of money in the process. So many women balked at her decision to do so even though she didn't come to it lightly. They call her selfish, superficial, self centered, unappreciative, sniviling, over indulgent, etc.. (And these are the g-rated criticisms!) My reaction to them? Grow up!
The groupie like "Oh my God I LOVE you and your book is my new Bible" mentality was a surprise to me even more, though looking back on it I should've expected it. By all means, read as many finding ones-self memoirs and self-help books as you can get your hands on, take what you come away with from each as suggestions you can try to incorporate into your life to see if doing something differently helps you achieve the improvement(s) you seek. If it works, great! If it doesn't, move on and try something else. But, don't take someone else's journey and what worked for them and immitate it completely thinking it's going to do the very same for you! Everyone's journey's is different and what worked for Elizabeth Gilbert most likely won't work for you or me and that's ok! We all have to find our own way (eventually).
I felt sorry for those who, during Ms. Gilbert's 2nd appearance on Oprah, declared "Eat Pray Love" as their "new Bible" and how they now wanted to go to Italy, India and Indonesia, etc... I know in 6 months to a year, they are going to be right back where they were just before reading "Eat Pray Love," wondering what the hell happened, more depressed, unsatisfied and frustrated with their lives than ever.
While the hype made me curious yet kept me away, (much like "Twilight," however don't get me started on that) I am glad I was part of this book's incredible journey!
Mod
I did see her Oprah episode and she seemed either very much at peace or high as a kite. I couldnt decide which. Either way I wanted Cheetos after I saw it.
I think it is interesting that you compare it in a sense to Twilight because that is another book I avoided at all costs for the same reason until it became my botm choice with the ladies that I meet with once a month. I am always leary of books with SO much hype over it like EPL and Twilight and that rebelious 'I'm cooler than the crowd' mentality that I adopted as a teenager and obviously haven't gotten over in some ways comes blasting forward.
I am interested to hear other Chicks opinions because that usually means more to me than the mass hysteria surrounding books like this and Twilight. It helped too because when I did read it I knew what to expect and what I was getting into and was able to enjoy it for what it was not what it's morphed into.
I read it almost a year ago, and reconnected with an old friend from school by happenstance and she was also reading the same book. So I started it from a place of "Wow, I guess I really should be reading this book."I wasn't disappointed with it. I really enjoyed it, although I am drawn to books that talk about the spiritual journey that we are all on, whether we know it or not, or are consciously choosing a path or not.
The ending surprised me. But I breathed a contented sigh at the end and was glad I read it. I found it very hard to put down in some parts. And the part at the beginning where her emotions were so raw and so on the surface was very difficult for me, as it became very real, and I think at some point we've all been there too.
It's definitely worth the read, but I think having read it, I would tell someone considering it that it should only be considered as the beginning, and not the end of one's spiritual education, and certainly not something to be imitated either, as each person's journey, like each individual, is inherently unique.
There are few books that I feel better for having read them and Eat Pray Love is one of those few. (Twilight is not).
For those Chicks in the NJ/NY area:Author Elizabeth Gilbert ("Eat Pray Love") is appearing in Flemington NJ on Wednesday, December 10th at 6:30pm, "Life Lessons With Elizabeth Gilbert," a fund rasier. Please see the link below for specifics.
http://www.baldwinpublishing.com/arti...
Wow Laura....you summed up exactly what I would have said about this book. I'm also drawn to books that involve some kind of spiritual journey as I feel I've been on my own for the last five years. I love to read about other people's journeys but I certainly never imitate them as Jo said some people are doing with this book and the author. A journey like that is very personal and can be prompted by books and listening to other people and what they think and feel but you take that info along with you as part of your own journey. Not copy it hoping to "find" one yourself. I remember reading this book and really feeling her pain and emotions and her struggle to know herself completely. I found myself wanting to highlight certain passages and wanting to write in the margins and add my own thoughts to hers. I couldn't though as I had borrowed the book but maybe I should buy it and re-read it and do that. I know at first I didn't want to jump on the bandwagon with everyone else as Tera said but when I did I was happy I had read it. It was a wonderful addition to my own spiritual journey.
This book was excellent too as it brought me to Teri here on Goodreads and her friendship. We were both reading the book at the same time and we bonded over the passages and emailed back and forth quite a bit about it. So for that reason alone....this book was remarkable for my life!! ;)
I read EPL back in June, actually while I was traveling and spending a few days in Rome, so I thought it was an appropriate choice. I really enjoyed it! I found it to be a very upbeat read, I loved her descriptions of the places she went and the people she met, and she made me laugh out loud so many times!
Holli, my copy is filled with underlines & highlights plus my own comments in the margins, from beginning to end! There are post it note mini flag sticking out of the side and post its on the front cover as well. I bought it for 3 of my best friends last Christmas as one of their presents - I've never bought books for them before in all these years.
I'd heard of EPL way before the hype actually (Oprah & otherwise) via Barbara Abercrombie's http://www.writingtime.net. She read it in 2006 when it was 1st out in hardcover. When the paperback edition kept greeting me every time I walked into Barnes & Noble or Target, I always thought it was such a fantastic title & wondered why it was so familiar to me - lol! It wasn't until I came across it on Barbara's site again that I remembered.
Yeah I'm going to have to buy it....I need to mark it up!!! LOL
OK Jo, I think I have to get the book back off my shelf and re-read it or at least skim it since reading your posts! I have a small story associated with this book; we lost a great friend of mine last year suddenly. She was only 50 years old and a co-worker; great person. This was the last book she was reading and talking about before her untimely death. So, of course, I had to read it and really wanted to find some gem of wisdom, something from this book. I just couldn't get into it. Maybe now, with a little distance from the tragedy I have associated with this book, I can find something (?) Will let you know!
Oh Cindy...that is so sad. Maybe now since some time has passed you can read this book and feel a little closer to your friend in the process. I hope you like it........
Cyndi, I agree with Holli - perhaps it was too soon to feel past your loss and get anything out of it. Hopefully you can read it a 2nd time and have a different experience! I also think sometimes when we go into a book looking to get something out of it, it sets us up not to - it's when we read a book "just because" and we glean something from it that it leaves an impression.
**Update to my post above re: Liz Gilbert's appearance in Flemington NJ next Wed, 12/10: Call 908-788-6141 to register if you're interested in attending (it's a fund raiser for the Hunterdon County Library and the local Cencer Center so the $45 is well worth it). I just registered and will be attending!**
Hi all, I haven't been in a while and this discussion is very timely.EPL is one of my all time favorite books. Why? Because like Liz I gave up the big house, the money, the seemingly great husband and life to "find myself". No, I didn't travel the world or study with a Yogi but I did move far away and start all over. ALONE.
I do study Yoga but I did that before I shattered my children's lives.
The book EPL is well written and interesting, no, not through every page, but it touched me. No, it is not my new Bible, and no one,as Jo states so eloquently, should adopt another's journey.
Each person needs to find their own inner peace however they journey to find it.
Liz's writing style does NOT make her come off as sniveling or spoiled in anyway. I fully expected the book to read that way. And was pleasantly surprised by her breezy style.
My little neice recommended the book to me after my divorce and am glad she did.
I've since given the book away and plan to buy mayself another copy to reread, highlight, markup and put on my all time favorite shelf.
Maureen, my heart still goes out to you! I hope you'll be joining us here throughout!
Jo--I live about 40 mins from Flemington. I might go to this event. I have picked up EPL three different times and could not get past page 70. I might start now after reading this thread. Thanks Jo :)
Tish, let me know if you're going! Try & call that number to register soon though if you are - they're expecting A LOT of people!
Tish, let me know if you're going! Try & call that number to register soon though if you are - they're expecting A LOT of people!
Wow, Maureen, interesting story. I've thought of moving a hundred times, but could never do it without getting divorced, as my husband's job can't relocate. I've grown so dependent on my husband, that I've often thought it would do me good to be alone. I think I would grow alot from the experience, and it would move me along so much faster on that "journey" we all talk about. Not sure how to do all that without getting divorced, and divorce isn't an option, so...haven't done it. I'd be curious what your thoughts are there - if you'd do it differently if you had it to do over, or not.I do think this would be a good book to have, and maybe re-read every so many years.
I really liked the guy she met at the ashram (I think) who told her to go up on the roof? I think he was from Texas? I actually had a little book crush on him. He had a pet name for her, and now I can't remember what it was. Anybody else kinda fall for him?
Oh dear! I love you Laura but I hated Richard from Texas! Oh how I hated him! I thought he was a pompus, condiscending arse! Sorry to you & those who liked him - I don't mean any offense. Laura, I worry sometimes that I'm too dependant on my husband being that I'm disabled - if anything were to happen to him, I'd be screwed! And sometimes it's frustrating for me since I didn't fully figure out who I am before we met - I met "the one" first and trying to work out my kinks while being married is a bit maddening at times.
Me too, me too! We are good at totally different things, so he'd be lost w/out me too, but I don't think as much.OK, I liked him, now I feel like re-reading it so I can see what you mean (twas a library book). Richard. What did he call her tho? Do you remember?
Groceries, I think is what he called her - I'm starting to re-read this tonight! Vic would be hurt without me, but he wouldn't be lost - he's a United States Marine. (No longer active). 'Nuff said?!
It's definately worth investing in a copy. You can order it on Barnes & Noble.com for about $12! Target is about $11 instore and online.
That's it! Groceries.!!! Thanks.OK am I the only whacko who liked Richard??
I was flipping through my copy this evening and saw that I wrote the following at the back:"Bought Sunday, 10/7/07, Holmdel NJ Barnes & Noble. Taped Oprah on 10/5 w/Elizabeth Gilbert. Watched it on Sat 10/6. I liked her. Decided I wanted to by this instead of waiting for it via the libraries (been on the list for nearly a year anyway). Heard about this book last year on WritingTime.net. I exchanged Luanne Rice's "Sandcastles" paperback so I could afford this. Started reading this again 12/4/07 & finished 1/24/08."
Ok, what little I remember of the book, I did like Richard!! In fact, I was hoping they would get together!
I liked Richard...I thought he was exactly what she needed at that time in her life. Not romantically...just in a friendly way. If I'm remembering correctly he was an example of a firm backbone wasn't he? Damn...I'm gonna have to buy this book so I actually know what I'm talkin' about in this discussion!! LOL
I loved Richard too! But not romantically either - he was comedic relief and he allowed her to bring her frustrations out in the open. I heard they're still friends and I'm happy about that. I loved his sayings!
Holli, I agree with what you said about Richard. He, I thought at the time, was what she needed in her life. I did have a book crush on him at that time as well and felt and still feel that the guy she ended up with is not right for her. However, I don't REALLY know this woman.Laura, as for divorce. No, I would NOT have done it differently. That said, there are MANY aspects of it I would have done differently. Aspects that are worthy of an entire book that is stranger than fiction. Believe me.
Let me say this...I knew that I could not stay with him when I pictured us aging and him in a wheel chair and me wanting to push it in front of a Mack truck.
Enough said?
So, it was WAY more than my selfish personal journey. I was hurting inside, because of things he had done to me. But it was a HUGE decision to leave. Think hard about it if you are thinking that way, it is not a simple decision no matter how much you hurt or think moving will change things.
I understand Richard being a back bone of sorts, something Liz needed at that time, but I felt he was bordering on rude/obnoxious & to me it wasn't necessary.
Yeah Jo, I see what you mean and me of all people should HATE that sort of treatment of women. Liz just seemed to need some sort of guidance. She seemed to be in a bit of a free fall no matter what she was saying to the reader or herself and Richard was giving that to her in his bossy way.Perhaps, if I reread the book from the place I am in now, or at least the place I was 6 weeks ago, I would agree with you more about Richard and his harsh personality.
Maureen, that's exactly what I mean about Richard & my reaction to him and how he treated Liz! (Perhaps my background, like yours, is why I feel as I do). Vic (my Hubby) has been a back bone for me when I need it (I hadn't much of 1 when we met & sometimes I still don't) and although he can be way too rigid & without compassion or empathy at times (it's that whole 1/2 man 1/2 machine thing most Marines are made of) his strength & guidance were/are given to me in a completely different manner than Richard did with Liz. Am I saying Vic can't be an obnoxious, rude a-hole sometimes, course not! (Lol!)
ok, now I have to read this book. I was (am) at a place in my life that I needed something different and actually it happened, though through no change on MY part. My husband had always thought of going into the ministry, but never did get "hit upside the head with a 2 x 4" as I call it! Until he got fired from his last job. Then he dove into it. (He had taken some lay-speaking classes and is a certified layspeaker.) He was given two churches to minister to, 100 miles away from here. They also supplied a house. I wasn't ready to leave. This is my home town and I have a good job that I really like - it's nice being able to walk downtown and really KNOW the people and who they are and know their history. So he lives there and I live here and he does come home occasionally and I go there occasionally. A few years ago, I would have been lost without him. But I had never lived on my own before and I was to the point where I NEEDED something different. And I'm not sure that this is what God had in mind when he gave Dan those two churches so far away, but ... Dan wants me there, but I'm not ready.
Maureen - I don't know how recently or how long ago you were divorced, but I hope you are or have healed from it. I WISH THE BEST FOR YOU.
I loved this book, and I'm so glad this discussion started about it! I love how each of us seems to have pulled something a little different from it. Not being married, it didn't make me consider a divorce (and, being in a long-distance relationship at the time, I had plenty of alone time!), but it made me look into myself in other ways. I think my favorite part was about finding your "word," the word that just fits you, and maybe even finding a city with the same word. Although, the part I think of most often is when she realizes in the ashram that even when she decides to be silent, she imagines herself as the MOST silent, best silent person ever. I find myself doing this a lot. I'm pretty much a beginner in yoga, for example, but at least once a class every Wednesday I find myself thinking, "I am going to do this pose better than any one else! Everyone will admire how well I do this pose!" Then I remember her attitude in this book and I have to laugh at myself for being ridiculous. :)
It is funny the conversations that this book sparks. I wish I could remember the specifics about Richard that I liked. I do think he was what she needed and like Maureen, I wasn't thrilled w/the guy she wound up with at the end.Debbie - maybe what you have (some alone time, some together time) is what you need. Maybe that is the best of both worlds? I don't know, but maybe when they say absence makes the heart grow fonder, they know what they're talking about.
Maureen - Your Mack truck comment really made me laugh. I can see where that would definitely point you in the divorce direction!
I think with me, I am going through the whole menopause thing (early) and it's brought lots of change into my life. I'm not a person who likes change, so it's not always been easy.
Sometimes I think my dissatisfaction comes from boredom, sometimes I think it's him, sometimes I think it's me. I really and truly don't know what the heck it is. I guess that's what bothers me most. I feel like I spend too much time trying to figure that out.
We are going on 20 years married, and I feel like I should know this. I'm not a kid anymore, but sometimes I feel like one. Like I have no F-ing clue. If that makes any sense.
This discussion is turning in an interesting direction and I would love to participate .....right after I get back from running my errands. Will comment soon! :)
Laura, it makes perfect sense to me! I'm in my 30's now and at times feel younger than I did in my teens & 20's! (I had too much to worry about then - my worries are different now & I have someone whi shares them with me instead of heaping them on me).Debbie, my heart goes out to you and I'm glad you're doing so well with what's going on in your life right now.
Jen, that's how I feel about EPL, that it offers different ways of looking at situations we as women encounter often.
I liked Felipe, the man, now her husband whom she's with at the end of the book and now. I liked his more subtle strength and confidence.
I'm glad it makes perfect sense to someone Jo. I don't mean I feel younger physically, I mean I feel dumber. Like not intellectually, but "real life"-wise. Like there are so many changes and I can't keep up w/all of them. And some of them are definitely making me feel swept away. Like everyone else caught the bus, and here I am still waiting at the stop. Wondering where the bus is, if it will ever come, and frankly, wanting someone who knows what's happening to take my hand and make everything okay again.I probably sound like I am truly ready for the straitjacket at this point, and it's truly not that bad, but sometimes it does feel that way.
Please tell me someone is feelin' me on this one.
I completely do Luara! I really do! Oh how I do! (Have I convinced you yet?!) (I didn't mean physically either, I feel older every day physically (as a result of auto-immune disease arthritis) and sometimes beyond my years).
OK YAY! Are you menopausing too or is that just me;)
OK the song...what's it called....by Avril Lavigne. I think it's called I'm With You. It's a damn cold night, tryin to figure out this life... that one calls to me sometimes!
No that's just my "normal" way of being Laura! Though because of migranes I can only be on 1 type of pill and that has the tendency to give me 2 monthly visitor's a month & therefore pms twice a month! (For example, this is my 2nd visitor in exactly 3 weeks!)
I have that too but it was meno. Are you like mid-30's? Or have they checked your blood levels for estrogen, progesterone, testosterone? I ask because my "regular" dr. said it couldn't be that, I was too young (I started having these symptoms at 35, now I'm 40.)Being a woman sucks. I tell my husband he should thank God for his penis on a regular basis.
I'm mid way between 33 & 34 but it's definately the pill I'm on - I've been checked out thoroughly to make sure everything is alright if/when we start trying to have a baby since having health "issues" (as I now fondly call it) and a pregnancy over 9 years ago that went so horribly wrong (because of my health issues) so I'm ok in that respect!
OK just checkin - don't want anyone to go thru what I've been thru these past couple of YEARS yes Years to get this straightened out. It is slowly but surely getting worked out now, but could have been avoided at age 36 if I'd have headed it off @ the pass.
For some reason I didn't have a strong reaction to Richard like what some of you experienced. I really liked him actually but I've always responded well to someone who talks to me with frankness and sternness when they have seen that I've needed it. I wrote this quote down from this book in a notebook...its the one that really stuck with me...and its actually from Richard.
"…A true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you
everything that’s holding you back, the person who brings you to your own
attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most
important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and
smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever. Nah. Too painful.
Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself
to you, and then they leave. And thank God for it."
Stuff like this....this is what she needed Richard for. At that point in her journey she was ready for someone to be open and honest and tell it to her like it was. Not to make it pretty or easy or whatever...just to lay it out there and get her to see it. So Richard was perfect for that. I enjoyed his parts in the book!
Wow this discussion is going in many different ways....I like it! :)I read the book with a book group quite awhile ago. I have to say even after reading all the comments so far I just didn't 'feel' this book like I hoped. That could be where I was when i was reading it. I did put a lot into it thinking it was going to transport me back to Italy in the first part but it fell a little short to my rememberences there. That is okay I was on to the Pray part which did run a bit long winded. I so wanted Liz to come out of that with something she could hold on to or push her onto the next level but Richard coming into her life was the closest I felt she came to getting something out of it with his subtle (not) push. Lastly I got into the Love part and so so wanted her to just realize love within herself. I kept saying love is not in that man or this place but I wanted her happy just to 'be'. I have to say I was very disappointed in the ending up with Felipe. I didn't think she needed him and I think that ended her journey right there when she settled. I don't know if settled is the right word but it was a let down when she didn't come out loving for herself or loving herself as herself but loving him. Does that make sense or maybe I am just rambling and sqeezing too much out of my fading memory cells? :p
No KrisT you have put that exactly the way I would have put it w/a better memory! Exactly. I think that's why I didn't like the ending. You put that perfectly.
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I, for one, have been wanting to reread Eat Pray Love since I finished it this January and I'm going to do so while we discuss it here to refresh my memory.
For those Chicks who haven't yet read it but want to get in on the fun, start with the Intro plus Italy (Book One). *And don't peak here until you're done or you may spoil something for yourself or what someone says here could influence your reaction to what you're reading!*
For those of us who've already read it, how about we start off with our thoughts/feelings about the book and our thoughts/feelings about the public's reactions to the book, good or bad? Then we can move onto discussing the Intro and Italy (Book One).
That being said, let the discussions begin!