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message 1: by Kim, Proud Queen of the Fat and Fabulous! (last edited Nov 19, 2011 07:10AM) (new)

Kim (mrsnesbitt) | 1031 comments Mod
I was watching CNN yesterday,when they were talking in studio to a young woman who has participated in a new documentary called "Miniskirts,Mace and Misconceptions" which is about rape/date rape on college campuses. Bergan Beucom tells her story along with 3 other women about her experience with date rape. Some of the reactions from her sorority sisters ranged from "Well, at least you knew him", "That was LAST semester,why are you still talking about it", and my favorite "You know guys can't help themselves when they get aroused."

The stats are scary.:

1 in 4 women college women will be raped/date raped.

1 in 12 college men admit to engaging in acts that fall under the legal definition of rape.

84% of victims know their attacker.

74% occur when alcohol is involved.

57% happen on "dates".

81% on campus and 84% off campus rapes are NOT reported.


What is wrong with us? As Baucom said in her interview, we "teach women a little self defense, give then their pink can of mace and send them off with the advice not to accept drinks from strangers." We are taught from young age about "stranger danger" but what about the known assailant? I had the stranger using opportunity to try to rape me, and I do not doubt that if circumstances had been different, I think I would have had my virginity stolen from me that night. My first time would have been violent and terrible. There would have been no tender kisses or sweet caresses. There would have been no admiration of my body or love shared.

It would have been a terrifying, paralyzing, painful, embarrassing, fear filled time in my life that should have never happened. Like with crimes like this,we blame the victim for being there, wearing "something provocative", not fighting back, or whatever nonsense we can come up with because we do not want to think that there are monsters out there and that "but for the grace..." that could have been us. We do not blame the perpetrator, we blame the person harmed.

Victims get blamed when they are abused, by the abuser (if you hadn't done _________, I wouldn't have hit you) and often by the "rescuers" because they didn't say anything or get away from the abuser. Why? Because it is easier than facing the facts that humans are still at our basest heart, animals and that no matter how "evolved" we think we are, we still exhibit base animal behavior. It scares us when one of us acts out of the ordinary or accepted behaviors, but we seldom blame the perpetrator, we blame the victim because the victim has proven how weak we are and the weakest makes us unsafe.

Perhaps the victims are the strongest ones. Many speak out and endure the public ridicule to put the perpetrator in jail where they belong. Perhaps these brave young women with their documentary will help change the face of rape. Perhaps there will be a new attitude among women that we are fed up and that we will no longer allow this to happen.

Perhaps.


message 2: by Paul (new)

Paul (merman1967) | 228 comments Another scary set of statistics? Male rape victims. Here is what the National Center for Victims of Crime has to say about it:
About 3% of American men – a total of 2.78 million men – have experienced a rape at some point in their lifetime (Tjaden & Thoennes, 2006).
In 2003, one in every ten rape victims was male. While there are no reliable annual surveys of sexual assaults on children, the Justice Department has estimated that one of six victims are under age 12 (National Crime Victimization Study, 2003).
71% of male victims were first raped before their 18th birthday; 16.6% were 18-24 years old, and 12.3% were 25 or older (Tjaden & Thoennes, 2006).
Males are the least likely to report a sexual assault, though it is estimated that they make up 10% of all victims (RAINN, 2006).
22% of male inmates have been raped at least once during their incarceration; roughly 420,000 prisoners each year (Human Rights Watch, 2001).


message 3: by Kim, Proud Queen of the Fat and Fabulous! (new)

Kim (mrsnesbitt) | 1031 comments Mod
Most men will not report rape since it is considered a "female crime". I think it is time we take the stigma out of rape and make it about what it is. A crime against another person,regardless of orientation or gender, where sex is used as a weapon. NO ONE ASKS TO BE RAPED! NO young child or adult ASKS for this to happen and we need to stop seeing them as the victims they are and not the provocateurs they are painted to be.

This crime transcends all races,beliefs and social standing. This is a crime and needs better support from law makers, law enforcement and from social support. It is NOT o.k. to touch somebody, have sex with them if they say "NO!" at ANY time during the act even if they started out with "yes" and EVERYONE needs to hear this. This should be what is taught in sex ed in schools, and not "don't do it". This is why our kids are so blase about it because there is NOT proper instruction being given at home.

ERRRRRR!

Sorry, off my soapbox now.....


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