Q&A with Rhi Etzweiler discussion

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message 1: by Rhi (new)

Rhi Etzweiler (rhianonetzweiler) | 255 comments Mod
Starting this discussion thread to provide links to the All Things Trans tumblr and the blogpost titled Ones and Zeros: Breaking Past Binary.

Please feel free to ask questions or post your thoughts regarding the content.

message 2: by Rhi (new)

Rhi Etzweiler (rhianonetzweiler) | 255 comments Mod
I'm glad you like it. Feel free to submit any content you think fits the subject matter for the tumblr. I welcome any assistance in that regard, as it's intended to be a venue for expression and awareness, visibility. To promote understanding, and hopefully tolerance.

Because really, I see two scenarios for readers of BTB. One segment will go in blind and come out the other end wanting the content of this tumblr for some further education and clarity, and the other segment will go in with eyes open and come out wanting to promote the visibility so that we can all live in something like Black's world.

message 3: by Rhi (new)

Rhi Etzweiler (rhianonetzweiler) | 255 comments Mod
No, Morg, you got it right. Lisa- yes it would be easier from your computer the first time. Basically, a tumblr works like a normal blog, but it also gives you the ability to "reblog" content from persons you follow who share your interest. The number of "notes" on a given post is how many times the content has been "liked" or reblogged by various users. So the blog is mine, but the content is not. The other nice thing about it is that the structure allows others to submit content for posting onto a specific blog, so the number of contributors is limitless.

Hopes this makes it easier to understand what you're seeing!

message 4: by Rhi (new)

Rhi Etzweiler (rhianonetzweiler) | 255 comments Mod
Catching Up With Andrej Pejic


By William Van Meter

A conversation with Out100 honoree Andrej Pejic on his philosophy of modeling and why he won’t get a boner for a photoshoot.

Out: The press highlights you as an intersection of many things, including a man who can walk in women’s shows (and is super comfortable with it) and Croat/Serb or Australian. How do you define yourself? Is it even along this spectrum?

Pejic: Define, refine, constrict, package, and sell… No thank you. I would like to live in a world where your gender, nationality, sexual orientation, and, above all, financial status didn’t affect the opportunities you are given in life, the way you’re treated by others, and your overall freedom. In a world like that, I wouldn’t be given such a complex definition.

Out:Most people would think that the world of male modeling would be populated by a huge number of gay guys, which in reality is not true. What is it like for you backstage working at a men’s show?

Pejic: The male modeling industry is like the army, very straight but very gay. Most male models have girlfriends, but backstage, when no one is looking, they like to pinch me. Working with them is fun—I have a lot of male model friends.

Out: Advertising is such a barometer of what the mass market deems acceptable, and you’ve made a major stab into the mainstream with advertisements for Marc by Marc Jacobs and Gaultier. Do you think it’s harder for you to book advertisements as opposed to other male models?

Pejic: Well, the media has definitely jumped on the bandwagon. The people, it seems, are coming on fast, now we’re just waiting for the clients to catch up. The truth is I have to work twice as hard to be taken as seriously as the top girls. I understand that it will take time for me to prove that I’m actually a good model once you look past the media hype and the uniqueness of my looks. But hey, I’m not the first that has had to fight.

Out: You seem pretty fearless in your career, easily doing men’s and women’s and—to be a bit crude—having the balls to wear a skirt or dress (and wear it well). Is there anything that has been demanded of you at a shoot that you’ve said no to?

Pejic: My philosophy is “take it and work it!” No matter what! Although, I have been asked to get aroused for a shot. I declined. I like to serve beauty, not porn.

Out: Everyone is going nuts about you meeting the queen and wearing a Versace skirt to do it. How’d you pick your outfit?

Pejic: I was tempted to wear a suit, like a nice fitted tuxedo, but it didn’t work out in the end. So I went for a ’90s Sharon Stone-inspired look. And the hair added some youth to the situation. The palace was beautiful—I felt right at home. And let’s face it, we all love a good Queen.

Source: out.com

message 5: by Rhi (last edited Nov 15, 2011 08:42AM) (new)

Rhi Etzweiler (rhianonetzweiler) | 255 comments Mod
Andrej Pejic, for those who don't know:

This is Balian Buschbaum:

[image error]

This is not an attempt to start posting porn in the group. These are here as an example of how gendernormative stereotypes, biological determinism, and the expectations of conformity are damaging, limiting, and wrong.

And just for reference: Andrej is not biologically female; Balian is a transman.

message 6: by Rhi (new)

Rhi Etzweiler (rhianonetzweiler) | 255 comments Mod
GR's html won't allow me to embed the video, but this is certainly worth a watch: The Insider's interview with Hung transgender star, Jamie Clayton.

message 7: by Aiko (last edited Nov 17, 2011 02:03PM) (new)

Aiko Been sitting here reading and watching videos from that All Things Trans site. It's literally heartbreaking to hear about 19 year old kids that get beat up for no reason what so ever.

I wish there were something I could do to make it all better. But I don't know what else I have to offer besides my support :/

Edit: Oh and Balian is hot as hell ^^

message 8: by Sarasaya (last edited Nov 18, 2011 10:43AM) (new)

Sarasaya Uhm, can I post here this pic?

He's that Balian hottie again. For me, he's perfect. The man of my life. :D

message 9: by Rhi (new)

Rhi Etzweiler (rhianonetzweiler) | 255 comments Mod
Oh wow that's gorgeous! Thanks for sharing such a fine contribution :)

message 10: by Sarasaya (new)

Sarasaya Oh, you're welcome! :)

message 11: by Emme (new)

Emme  (emmepangala) Oooh, Balian is super yummy. But that goes without saying, I guess.

message 12: by Serena (new)

Serena Yates (serenayates) Lisa wrote: "I went in search of a website. He has one but its in German of course! I had one year of German in high school. I remember nothing."

Oh, what is the link? I speak German, so if you have any questions or want something translated I cna help. Or you can use Google translate...

message 13: by Sarasaya (last edited Nov 18, 2011 12:09PM) (new)

Sarasaya Hey Serena! :)
EDIT: The link was the same as Lisa's.

message 14: by Sarasaya (new)

Sarasaya XD
I'm deleting my link

message 15: by Sarasaya (new)

Sarasaya No, I'm sorry, I can only say Ich, sturm und drang and schnell. XD

message 16: by Serena (new)

Serena Yates (serenayates) Sarasaya wrote: "Hey Serena! :)
Here there's a link, if you all want to check.


Thank you, Sarasaya and Lisa! It is fascinating stuff - he is talking about his life, what he likes, how many letters he gets. I think I may have to buy his autobiography...

message 17: by Serena (last edited Nov 18, 2011 12:19PM) (new)

Serena Yates (serenayates) Lisa wrote: "Serena wrote: "Sarasaya wrote: "Hey Serena! :)
Here there's a link, if you all want to check.


Thank you, Sarasaya and Lisa! It is fascinating stuff - he is talkin..."

OMG - I just read some of the comments people are leaving on the website - lots of lack of understanding, some quite hostile, like "Why are you being so public about this - I wanted to live my life as trans man quietly." Apparently, he wwas in some talk show recently and gave people lots of details of the gender reassignment operation. And some people are not happy.

The biography isn't yet available in English, as far as I can see, but I hope it will be.

message 18: by Sarasaya (new)

Sarasaya Morg, I can understand that..

Serena, thank you for translated that for us. :)

message 19: by Aiko (new)

Aiko I googled him when I found him on Rhi's tumblr and found that German site aswell. There's not much to dig up about him in English, but I managed to understand most of what was said in his bio with my somewhat lacking German-skills (5 years of it and I still can't say a coherent sentence in German..)

message 20: by Serena (new)

Serena Yates (serenayates) Morg wrote: "I can say some proper sentences. But mostly just ask where are my leatherpants and what's that thing moving in your pocket.

.. I have no idea why I know these."

LOL, Morg, that is so funny... and, no, I am not going to think about the reason you may know these... ;-)

message 21: by Aiko (new)

Aiko *snicker* ofcourse you don't know why you know that

message 22: by Rhi (new)

Rhi Etzweiler (rhianonetzweiler) | 255 comments Mod
I actually lived in Germany for three years and attended a German-staffed kindergarten.
All I learned was how to count to ten, and what "nein" meant. The rest of the time was spent teaching the German kids how to speak English...

message 23: by Serena (new)

Serena Yates (serenayates) Rhianon wrote: "I actually lived in Germany for three years and attended a German-staffed kindergarten.
All I learned was how to count to ten, and what "nein" meant. The rest of the time was spent teaching the Ger..."

LOL, Rhianon, that is so funny. I love how you were teaching others even at such an early age....

message 24: by Rhi (new)

Rhi Etzweiler (rhianonetzweiler) | 255 comments Mod
Posted this on the All Things Trans tumblr as well, but I put it on my regular blog too.

Wrote it for Oleg, but I'm sure he doesn't mind sharing.

Imagine A World Without Labels.

This is a mild preview, a literary fiction companion, to a blogpost I'll be tossing up later this coming week.

message 25: by Sarasaya (new)

Sarasaya Awesome, Rhi...

message 26: by Sarasaya (new)

Sarasaya Oleg wrote: "I can't wait for the blogpost to come up! :)

And nope, I don't mind. Shared awesomeness is best awesomeness, and people being jealous of me for the awesome gifts I get is even better.

I mean.."

...and were you talking about someone in particular???? Uhm???
*narrow eyes*

message 27: by Rhi (new)

Rhi Etzweiler (rhianonetzweiler) | 255 comments Mod
*laughs* Y'all are funny. If I'm sharing it with everyone, then it becomes a gift to everyone, doesn't it?

I'm glad you enjoyed it, Sarasaya. :)

message 28: by Sarasaya (new)

Sarasaya I'm glad you decided to share this. :)

And he always boasts with me when he receives a gift. XD

message 29: by Rhi (new)

Rhi Etzweiler (rhianonetzweiler) | 255 comments Mod
*whispers* Well now it's your gift, also. Just don't tell him. ;)

message 30: by Rhi (new)

Rhi Etzweiler (rhianonetzweiler) | 255 comments Mod
In two hours and fifteen minutes (give or take a few), there'll be a post up at Haus of Rhi and All Things Trans titled, "Equality =/= Neutrality: Exploring Feminism & Gender Variance."

Hope you swing by and read it. Also hoping it sparks some positive conversation.

(And if you're reading this right now, and the posts aren't live yet, you deserve to read it before everyone else, so have the link to the PDF file on my website.)

message 31: by Aiko (new)

Aiko I kept trying to read this at work today, but I kept getting interrupted by people. Curse you RL that won't let me read in peace..Had to actually wait til I got home *sigh*
I'm starting to wonder if I'm a simple mind though. I'm not a very religious person, not at all actually. But the whole "do to others, as you want others to do to you" thing, is not a bad rule in life.
In my (somewhat ignorant) opinion, it's all just about live and let live, and respect. I try to judge people by their actions, not by appearance, sexuality, gender, or anything else that's simply non of my goddamn business.
I do understand how much of today's bigotry is probably born out of ignorance though. People hurt others, simply by not knowing any better. And to remedy this, posts like these are a step to fix things. So thanks Rhi, for enlightening us <3

That being said..

This erroneous thought process rationalizes GQ/T* persons as being feminist based on their biological makeup. That as their sex is female, they must therefore be feminist—if they aren’t, the alternate conclusion by default is that they’re internal misogynists. <-- Sometimes I feel like screaming at humanity. If people actually walk around thinking like this...just...Please tell me they don't?

If the majority of socio-cultural constructs had not evolved past full-on oppression of the female sex, then I would agree that feminism would be the correct approach. Increasingly, it is not. I would even go so far as to say that in an increasingly expansive socio-cultural environment (thanks largely to the Internet, creating a global community), feminism has outlived its influential force. <-- THIS! This so many times over that I can't say how much I agree! I know it's slightly off topic I suppose, but the feminism in today's society has gotten to the point where it really has the opposite than desired effect. I could list example after example..the most damaging one, in my opinion, being the gender-quota companies and Universities have to fill. *fume and growl*

At the end you ask why people are so eager to label and segregate. I'm not really in any position to answer this, except for why I would actually label and segregate something (I do really try to not do this to people..so yes, I said "things")Anyway..
Whatever I run across in life, I sort it. Put it in its right box, so I know where to find it. That being the coffee going in the coffee-jar instead of the tea-jar or big things like if something I see in the nightsky is a planet, a star, or, like Pluto, that didn't really fit into the planet-definition, so we needed to find a new definition for it.
I think it's in a way human nature to find explanations and definitions. And when there's something new, or something that we can't easily label, we just try harder to actually do this. To in a way understand it as best as we can. I really don't think a lot of people have malicious or any sense of ill-will behind their labeling. I think it's simply ignorance, and a deep-rooted need to define something to understand it.

hmm..I guess this was all jambled and a generally messy post. But it's my thoughts on the matter.

*give Rhi a cookie for all the words*

message 32: by Sarasaya (new)

Sarasaya I always thought that the main goal of feminism is to cease to exist. Too often, this is forgotten.

Thank you very much for the pdf, Rhi. Detailed, clear and effective.


Emanuela ~plastic duck~ (manutwo) | 10 comments It's the first time I comment here, but I see there are a lot of friends, so I'll pretend I'm not too shy.

All throughout the November situation and until now (and on to the future probably) I realized how the issues that arose challenged me to open my mind.

I always thought myself as an open-minded person, because I usually accept people "as they come", without asking them or myself too many questions. I latch onto the common interests and all is fine by me. I realized that that kind of approach may also be a sign of laziness or shallowness, because it's sort of passive and doesn't really engage my mind and convinctions. So I was a bit shocked when I realized how narrow my vision about sex and gender was, how simplified it was and that I may have hurt someone with my ignorance.

So, thank you for this very informative post.

message 34: by Aiko (new)

Aiko Manu? Shy? :o That's two words I wouldn't connect on my own.

I do know what you mean about having a narrow vision about sex and gender though. I was the same I suppose. I'd never make anyone feel uncomfortable/hurt anyone in that way on purpose. But my world is very square in a way. I don't know any GQ/T* people in RL.
I've always considered myself an open-minded person though. (Thanks a lot to my upbringing I suspect.) But being open-minded and understand something is two widely different things. And I know now that I understand a lot more than I did just two months ago. Thanks to posts like these, and people that are willing and open to discuss and talk about it.

Lisa - I'll buy the next book you want if you make copies of the PDF for your co-workers ;D (bribes bribes! :p)

Emanuela ~plastic duck~ (manutwo) | 10 comments Aiko wrote: "Manu? Shy? :o That's two words I wouldn't connect on my own."

My written-but-not-posted + posted-but-deleted comments are probably thrice the number of my posted comments, lol

The part of Rhi's post I liked the most, because it can be applied to everything when relating to other people is this:

Why, I wonder, would others take offense to the gender identity of another? Why would they take it as a personal affront if one elects to self-identify in a fashion that doesn’t parallel their expectations or perceptions? That doesn’t engage their labels or remain within their comfort zones?

It has nothing to do with them. It has everything to do with one’s self-identity and perspective on the social constructs within which one lives or exists. It has nothing to do with anyone else, and they should have zero impetus to weigh in on the matter. End of story, far as I can see.

What one hates or takes offense in tells us more about them than the object of their hatred or aversion. The problem is that they don't (want to) see it.

message 36: by Rhi (new)

Rhi Etzweiler (rhianonetzweiler) | 255 comments Mod
Lisa wrote: "I was going write something up but the organization is just not happening. I will say this was brilliantly written and so very informative. If I had the nerve, I would copy your pdf and put it on e..."

Oh wow, I would love for you to do this, and hear what sort of reaction it garners :)
Just the thought gives me all kinds of warm fuzzies, Lisa. Thank you for reading, and I am very glad you enjoyed it.

message 37: by Rhi (new)

Rhi Etzweiler (rhianonetzweiler) | 255 comments Mod
Emanuela ~plastic duck~ wrote: "Aiko wrote: "Manu? Shy? :o That's two words I wouldn't connect on my own."

My written-but-not-posted + posted-but-deleted comments are probably thrice the number of my posted comments, lol"

Oh my, consider this your official cattle-prod!
I certainly never intended for anyone to feel as though they couldn't just say whatever they felt the inclination to -- or ask whatever question was on their mind.

(Lisa, that goes for you as well :P )

I must admit that there are many, many times when I have deleted comments on other forums or sites, refrained from engaging in a discussion.
For any number of reasons. Mostly because, as you can see in the seven-page PDF, I tend to ramble. And I am OCD about the words I use, how I present ideas and thoughts. I finally broke down and wrote this one out, mostly because I decided the conversation and discussion needed to happen. There were some things that just... needed to be said, and nobody else was seeing them or saying them, for whatever the reasons.

message 38: by Aiko (new)

Aiko Oh Manu, you shouldn't be self conscious. *squeeze*
Me on the other hand could probably benefit from having a few more second thoughts about what I say. I say what pops into my head and read it later or the day after or when I'm sober, and go facedesk. I've got no shame to hold me down *dance around and sing the pinoccio song*

Rhi: I'm just happy there's people like you that can put words together and get them out there.

message 39: by Aiko (new)

Aiko *jump on Lisa and take a big hug* <-- SEE! I've stopped stealing them now ;)

And Rhi, what Lisa said. I wish I had your talent. I'd sit in my castle and change the world with words :)

message 40: by Rhi (new)

Rhi Etzweiler (rhianonetzweiler) | 255 comments Mod
Aiko wrote: "*jump on Lisa and take a big hug* <-- SEE! I've stopped stealing them now ;)

And Rhi, what Lisa said. I wish I had your talent. I'd sit in my castle and change the world with words :)"

*laughs* Lisa, Aiko... I think that is hands-down the most eloquent thing anyone's ever said about my writing. If only I had the blood pressure with which to blush. :D

I am trying, truly I am. Word by word, bird by bird. My castle's only figurative, of course. Alas, to have four foot stone walls, drafty halls, yule logs in the winter. And knights. Of course. With claymores and warhorses. (I'm distracting myself horribly.)

message 41: by Rhi (new)

Rhi Etzweiler (rhianonetzweiler) | 255 comments Mod
Emanuela ~plastic duck~ wrote: "What one hates or takes offense in tells us more about them than the object of their hatred or aversion. The problem is that they don't (want to) see it. "

Yes, this.

I find I have to remind myself of this, over and over again. Whatever a person sees fit to attack and/or hate me for, it has nothing at all to do with me and everything to do with them, the wounds they don't want to or cannot address. How that justifies inflicting wounds on others (to them) is beyond me. I'm still trying to parse that one.

(I'll let you know if I figure it out.)

message 42: by Rhi (new)

Rhi Etzweiler (rhianonetzweiler) | 255 comments Mod
Lisa wrote: "And this is why some people turn into themselves and don't want to deal with people at all. Even if they understand that those other peoples behavior really has nothing to do with them. Its still p..."

It is, and I'll admit it's complicated for me by the natural introvert tendency of my personality.

Perhaps one day, people will come to understand that more can be gained by setting aside hatred and communicating (listening, as well as speaking) in order to encourage understanding and healing.

Or maybe one day, those of us with this approach will outnumber those who embrace hatred and hostility.

Emanuela ~plastic duck~ (manutwo) | 10 comments Lisa wrote: "Maybe a combination of both.....

There seem to be a lot of us introverts around here. ;) I hope to find my voice in RL one day."

Yes, a combination of both.

I've begun to show my discomfort - to speak my mind is still difficult - more often re: issues of sexuality and/or gender. When I hear a derogative term used for GLBTQ people, if it's someone I know well, I call them names, if it's someone I don't know well, I ask them if they'd like to rephrase that. I hope it's a little something they think about later.

It's also a weird satisfaction when people peruse my bookshelves, pick the Administration books up, see the naked half man in the back, and ask me what it is about: the best gay AU with a BDSM flavored series. That's another small way I try to say something without really speaking.

message 44: by Rhi (new)

Rhi Etzweiler (rhianonetzweiler) | 255 comments Mod
Buck Angel is over at Amara's Place today. Stop by and say hi...


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