Eating Disorder Recovery with Measurable Outcomes discussion

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message 1: by Jessa (last edited Nov 07, 2011 03:56PM) (new)

Jessa (Jessa1983) Please feel free to use this thread to share poetry or stories that you find inspiring - either written by you or someone else!


message 2: by Jessa (last edited Nov 07, 2011 05:02PM) (new)

Jessa (Jessa1983) This is a poem that I wrote after I graduated from Intensive Outpatient. I wrote it at like 3am and writing is definitely not one of my strengths, but I thought I would share it anyway.

Believe

Trapped behind this door
Afraid to cross the line.
To go into this world
Afraid what she might find.

She lays upon her bed
Daydreaming of what it'd be like.
To tear down these walls
And lead a normal life.

She won't let fear control her
And dictate her every move.
She's stronger than she realizes
She can do what she sets her mind to.

So she steps into this world
Conquers her every fear.
She found the strength within her
With a smile and a tear.

She had it in her all along
And just had to see
She's a brave and compassionate woman
And she finally believes.


message 3: by Jessa (last edited Nov 07, 2011 05:02PM) (new)

Jessa (Jessa1983) I love this story of the Dragonfly and it is why so much of my ED recovery jewelry includes dragonflies and why I have 2 dragonfly tattoos to symbolize recovery.


The Dragonfly


Once, in a little pond, in the muddy water under the lily pads,
there lived a little water beetle in a community of water
beetles. They lived a simple and comfortable life in the pond
with few disturbances and interruptions.

Once in a while, sadness would come to the community when one of
their fellow beetles would climb the stem of a lily pad and
would never be seen again. They knew when this happened; their
friend was dead, gone forever.

Then, one day, one little water beetle felt an irresistible urge
to climb up that stem. However, he was determined that he would
not leave forever. He would come back and tell his friends what
he had found at the top.

When he reached the top and climbed out of the water onto the
surface of the lily pad, he was so tired, and the sun felt so
warm, that he decided he must take a nap. As he slept, his body
changed and when he woke up, he had turned into a beautiful
blue-tailed dragonfly with broad wings and a slender body
designed for flying.

So, fly he did! And, as he soared he saw the beauty of a whole
new world and a far superior way of life to what he had never
known existed.

Then he remembered his beetle friends and how they were thinking
by now he was dead. He wanted to go back to tell them, and
explain to them that he was now more alive than he had ever been
before. His life had been fulfilled rather than ended.

But, his new body would not go down into the water. He could
not get back to tell his friends the good news. Then he
understood that their time would come, when they, too, would
know what he now knew. So, he raised his wings and flew off
into his joyous new life!


~Author Unknown~


message 4: by Jessa (last edited Nov 07, 2011 05:01PM) (new)

Jessa (Jessa1983) This is actually from a Hallmark card that I bought for myself :)


"The Oak Tree"


A mighty wind blew night and day.
It stole the oak tree's leaves away,
Then snapped its bark
until the oak was tired and stark.
But still the oak tree held its ground
while other trees feel all around....
The weary wind gave up and spoke,
"How can you still be standing, Oak?"
The oak tree said, "I know that you
can break each branch of mine in two,
carry every leaf away,
shake my limbs, and make me sway.
But I have roots stretched in the earth,
growing stronger since my birth.
You'll never touch them, for you see,
they are the deepest part of me.
Until today, I wasn't sure
of just how much I could endure.
But now I've found, with thanks to you,
I"m stronger that I ever knew.


The inside verse reads:
Especially now,
try to remember
that you're stronger
than any problem
you encounter
or any disappointment
life will bring.


message 5: by Jessa (last edited Nov 07, 2011 05:01PM) (new)

Jessa (Jessa1983) I wrote this poem on my 17th day in recovery. I still haven't written the second part, though I intend to eventually...

War - Part 1

There's a War of 2 Worlds,
Going on in my head.
Ana promises happiness,
When she really means unfed.

Logic tells me to eat,
Before it's too late.
Ana tells me to starve,
Or the pain won't abate.

There's a War of 2 Worlds,
Going on in my head.
Ana promises beauty,
When she really means ED.

Logic tells me that beauty,
Comes from within.
Ana laughs at this thought,
You HAVE to be thin.

There's a War of 2 Worlds,
Going on in my head.
Ana promises health,
When she really means dead.

Logic tells me that starving,
Isn't the way.
Ana quietly whispers,
Just one more day.


message 6: by Jessa (new)

Jessa (Jessa1983) Strong Girl (by me)

Strong Girl
Be yourself
And shine fiercely in the burning warmth of the sun

Strong Girl
Be still
And listen closely to the soothing melody of the shore

Strong Girl
Be calm
And fly freely through the breezy wind of the sky

Strong Girl
Be thankful
and look within at the newfound balance of your heart


message 7: by Jessa (new)

Jessa (Jessa1983) My poem - Done - will be featured on Weighing the Facts (one of the top ED blogs on the net) this Friday :) I am super excited!

Done

I don't want you in my life
I don't want you in my head
You play sick mind tricks on me
While I lay awake in bed

You convince me that I'm ugly
That I'm too fat to go outside
You want me to be skinny
Even if it causes me to die

I can see through your lies now
I won't entertain your attacks
I'm not saying that it's easy
But I'm never looking back

I won't let you control me
Not like you did before
I'll decide what's right for me
And your insults will go ignored


message 8: by Carolyn (new)

Carolyn | 17 comments Amazing...well done!


message 9: by Jessa (new)

Jessa (Jessa1983) Carolyn wrote: "Amazing...well done!"

Aw, thanks Caroyln :) My writing is not very strong yet and a lot of it was from when my brain was malnourished and literally ALL of it is written between the hours of 1am and 5am because of insomnia lol, so I am kind of embarrassed to put it out there, but decided to do it anyway :). The person who is in control of the blog is kind enough to feature my jewelry shop as well in a link beside my name, to the eating disorder recovery section of my shop and I am hoping that maybe my jewelry can help some more people by reaching more.

I have been heavily considering making a blog similar to this group, to help others struggling, with encouragement and ideas and whatnot, but I was never sure if anyone would even look at it. I think I may do it though. I actually have a blog right now just with diary entries more or less, but the name is great, so I may just hide those and start from scratch (it's called Goodbye Ana). Anyway, I am babbling, lol, thank you for your comment :)!!


message 10: by Carolyn (new)

Carolyn | 17 comments Well, I think what you are doing is very humbling and gracious. We need more advocates like you out there.


message 11: by Jessa (new)

Jessa (Jessa1983) Carolyn wrote: "Well, I think what you are doing is very humbling and gracious. We need more advocates like you out there."

Aw, thank you :) that really means a lot to me!! I am really trying to make a difference and to make this hard journey result in positive things so that it was entirely worth it!!


message 12: by Jessa (new)

Jessa (Jessa1983) New poem I wrote yesterday...trying to remind myself of just how bad my ED made me feel and how much better I am getting in some aspects. I wanted it to feel really chaotic in a way, so I wrote it in a strange format. I am just happy to have it to look back on when I get in these ruts - I never want to forget how bad it made me feel - that's what keeps me away from it.

PROGRESS

Brain dying
Skin freezing
Lips lying
Heart seizing

Hair falling
Body aching
Ana calling
I’m breaking

Voice shrieking
Insides tearing
Tears streaking
Soul baring

Ana slowing
Intense grieving
People knowing
No deceiving

Brain healing
Smile forming
Heart feeling
Skin warming

Ana whining
Body loving
Hair shining
I’m recovering


message 13: by Jessa (last edited Nov 11, 2011 05:53PM) (new)

Jessa (Jessa1983) I LOVE THIS ONE!



Two Wolves

An old Cherokee
Is teaching his grandson about life.

“A fight is going on inside me, ” he said to the boy,
“It is a terrible fight between two wolves,
One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret,
Greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment,
Integrant, lies false pride, superiority, and ego, ”

He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace,
Love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence,
Empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith,
The same fight is going on inside you –
And inside every other person, too, ”

The grandson then asked his grandfather,
“Which wolf will win? ”

The old Cherokee simple replied,
“The one you feed”

-Cherokee Proverb


message 14: by Jessa (new)

Jessa (Jessa1983) bekah wrote: "not really recovery-oriented, just ED.

portrait of an anorexic

bony butterfly wings flutter under her skin
knotted rope up her spine knots of pain lie within
hipbones curve slightly inward the ri..."



You are a gifted writer Bekah!


message 15: by Jessa (new)

Jessa (Jessa1983) Meagan wrote: "Here's a work in progress song I'm writing. I think it needs to be a little longer and make more sense (unless it's a duet).

Tell me who or what I'm supposed to be
Do you expect me to listen? ..."


I love it Meagan!!


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