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Maria [the clockwork creeps on useless lives] (mariachhile) | 8772 comments Mod
The title is pretty straightforward. Just to stop the clutter in the main topic.


message 2: by Kriss (new)

Kriss (krisslee) | 5015 comments Mod
“… ah…” Kuruk actually flinched. “I’m sorry.”

“And you’re also a liar, it seems.”

“Impossible. The omega has a bite, after all.”

I did not reply to that. Perhaps I had more teeth then he would ever care to count, but then I didn’t think so. My courage faded, my voice was stolen from me. I did not wish to speak. I didn’t want to say anything, not ever again, not to this… monster.

But then, cruelty is a matter of perspective. Maybe he had never meant to become a monster, perhaps his intentions had not been cruelty. I remembered when father would do something he saw as a "necessary evil”. All Wolves have committed “necessary evils”. Is that why Kuruk killed my sister? I don’t know, and I don’t want to ask.

The Bear does not speak again; time passes, and eventually his breathing steadies. He falls asleep, with a Wolf in his room. I know I could kill him in his sleep; I know it with a sick certainty, and as I turn to look at the Bear, I see the expression on his face. It is slackened and innocent, hatred absent, exhaustion absent, pain absent, humor absent. Everything is gone. He is a blank as a child.

I will not kill him. Any other Wolf would, but I will not.


message 3: by Brigid ✩, No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader. (new)

Brigid ✩ | 11973 comments Mod
~Yue~ [Wander no more] wrote: "Unfortunately for me, being gay and unsocial, I had nowhere else to go. I wandered around the gasoline station for a while as a 50 year old man with a scruffy beard and a large belly with a spooky ..."

Haha I really like that. It's hilarious. :D


message 4: by Brigid ✩, No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader. (new)

Brigid ✩ | 11973 comments Mod
ANOTHER SWEET SORROW EXCERPT. WOOOOT.


"You're not going to go crazy, Astrid."

My sister is silent for a long time, continuing to run her fingers over the carpet like she's searching for something between the fibers. "I think it's the only thing that will keep me from going insane."

"What? What is…?"

"The Mirror World."

As always, the words make my skin prickle. "What do you mean by that?"

"I don't know. It's confusing. I just feel like, without it, I'm going to lose my mind. I don't know if I can make you understand it, if you don't feel the same way about it. But for me, it's the only thing that helps me remember that I'm real and still alive. It makes me feel like there's something ... more. I'm not just ... this. There's more than just this. There's a whole other world and it's hiding all around us, and it's stupid not to go out and find it. It's sad to think that people live out their entire lives and never find it. I don't want to be one of those people. I want to explore it. If this is the only life I've got, I want to spend it exploring as much of the universe as I possibly can. And I can't spend forever here, in this dimension and all. Or I'm going to go crazy."

This must be a speech she's been wanting to get out for a long time. After she's done, she takes a deep breath like she hadn't breathed that entire time. Then she looks up at me, like she's waiting for a reaction. But I don't know what to say.

She probably doesn't know how painful it is, to hear her say it all. Because she's saying everything that I've been trying not to admit to myself, for years now. Everything I love about the Mirror World. But I can never go back. I can't. If I go back, I'll just do something terrible. Again.

What am I supposed to say to her? I want to warn her. I do. I want to tell her she can't keep going back there, because she's going to regret it. It seems fun and harmless now, but she doesn't know there's a whole different, terrifying layer to it. You can get lost in it. You can kill people. And once you've done something like that, there's no going back. But then she would want to know how I know these things, and I would have to tell her ... and that's the last thing I want to do. I can never admit to it.

"You understand, right?" Astrid's eyes are shining, like she's not completely here. It's like, just talking about it has drawn her back into her own separate universe. "You understand why I can't just ... stop. I'd lose everything."

"No, you wouldn't," I insist. "Astrid, you're being an idiot. You have everything here. You know, your whole family. Your friends. What about them?"

"God, no, you don't get what I'm saying. I'm not saying this part of the world isn't important. But it's not enough for me to just have one. I'd just be ... incomplete. I need both. And if I lost one, it would be like ... losing a huge chunk of my soul or something."

I let out my breath in a long sigh. I'm tempted to just go across the room and slap her in the face. Or take her by the shoulders and shake her until she let go of these stupid thoughts. As annoying as she is sometimes, Astrid is my sister. I'm her older brother, and I should probably stop her from doing stupid things like wandering around in other, dangerous dimensions. But there's not really anything I can say. And I guess I don't care, anyway. If she wants to screw up her life, fine. I'm done trying to warn her.


message 5: by Autumn (new)

Autumn (flwurautumn) | 4987 comments I liked it. It was very action-y, but still stream-of-concious-like at the same time.


message 6: by Autumn (new)

Autumn (flwurautumn) | 4987 comments ~Yue~ [Wander no more] wrote: "Unfortunately for me, being gay and unsocial, I had nowhere else to go. I wandered around the gasoline station for a while as a 50 year old man with a scruffy beard and a large belly with a spooky ..."

You already know how I feel about this.


message 7: by Autumn (new)

Autumn (flwurautumn) | 4987 comments Kriss wrote: "“… ah…” Kuruk actually flinched. “I’m sorry.”

“And you’re also a liar, it seems.”

“Impossible. The omega has a bite, after all.”

I did not reply to that. Perhaps I had more teeth then he woul..."


Eee, I like the last part. It sounds very intense. It also sounds like you have a good plot. That is because you are a dragon.


message 8: by Autumn (new)

Autumn (flwurautumn) | 4987 comments Brigid *Flying Kick-a-pow!* wrote: "ANOTHER SWEET SORROW EXCERPT. WOOOOT.


"You're not going to go crazy, Astrid."

My sister is silent for a long time, continuing to run her fingers over the carpet like she's searching for somethin..."


This. This is also intense. The Mirror World sounds very dangerous like a place I want to visit.


message 9: by Annemarie, hi (new)

Annemarie Carlson (annielawlz) | 3393 comments Mod
Rose and I had usually been close. We, from as long as I remember, did everything together. Not matter what. We would got our hair cut together, shopped together, even somehow got put in the same classes.
Then she got a haircut that I didn’t.
That wasn’t even the moment that I fully accepted the fact that my sister was really sick. The day that they shaved her head, I felt nothing. It just seemed like another haircut except that this time it was a buzz cut.
I didn’t accept the cancer when my sister moved in the hospital full time.
I didn’t accept it when my school set up an entire charity in hopes that she might get better.
I didn’t accept it when she stopped eating because she simply wasn’t hungry.
I didn’t accept it when she fell in the coma.
I didn’t accept anything when she died on our birthday.
The color of black is an interesting choice for mourning. In the time of Queen Elizabeth the First they would wear yellow. Yellow, to me, seems more like death. Even blue would be more fitting. Black is too final. I mean, people say that nothing is more final than death, but I don’t think that’s true. If anything, death is something that we know almost nothing about so there is no finality to it.
Nonetheless, I opted to wear black today. I didn’t much feel like making a statement about stupid social customs only a week after the death of my sister.


message 10: by Autumn (new)

Autumn (flwurautumn) | 4987 comments I like it :) My favourite part is "I didn't accept" blah blah blah.


message 11: by Baxter, butts butts butts (last edited Nov 03, 2011 02:34PM) (new)

Baxter (julietrocksmysocks) | 2455 comments Mod
Whooooblooooo

Shadow: I. Again, stopping. Again, its voice is cleared and again the sentence is repeated. I. I don’t know. No. Or yes. I never really thought of that. I suppose it could matter a great deal, if I knew what I was doing was really truly honest-to-God writing or not. But I have not clue if it is. Absolutely none.
Him: Really?
Shadow: Really.
Him: Aren’t you writing though? Right now?
The shadow looks down at the paper in front of him, lying on a faded blue plastic table, 40 equally spaced blue lines on white, a red strip down the right, scribbles, unintelligible and alien, waves of purple ink lurching in every direction, hurried and violent, spiraling out onto and into itself, the shadow’s hand still moving, still guiding the pin along, crafting what should not exist. Its body begins to shake. The head jerking back and forth, then the shoulders rising and falling at unpredictable levels speeds and times, then the arms flailing, and then the rest, the shadow collapsing below the light, flinging into the ground over and over, blood trickling from the head, froth oozing from the mouth and the jeans turning a darker shade and the legs kick away something that isn’t there, hitting a stack of old books, including a copy of Doctor Faustus, and knocking down a lamp, the bulb of which burns like the sun eating into his ear. He stares at the shadow become a man as it falls, and he cries as he steps up the stairs until he cannot see anything but darkness and curls up into a fetus yet to enter the world.


message 12: by Autumn (new)

Autumn (flwurautumn) | 4987 comments Baxter wrote: "Whooooblooooo

Shadow: I. Again, stopping. Again, its voice is cleared and again the sentence is repeated. I. I don’t know. No. Or yes. I never really thought of that. I suppose it could matter a g..."


My favorite part was "whooooblooo." Just kidding. Aren't I so funny? *facepalm* It was very interesting. I enjoyed the sort of conversation between Shadow and Him.


message 14: by Tesni (new)

Tesni (ohmarcello) | 5031 comments ~Yue~ [Wander no more] wrote: "Unfortunately for me, being gay and unsocial, I had nowhere else to go. I wandered around the gasoline station for a while as a 50 year old man with a scruffy beard and a large belly with a spooky ..."

"No, I was simply trying to sexually attract you by thrusting out my big boobs so that I can loiter longer, duh”
...Oh, Yue, I love you.


message 15: by Tesni (new)

Tesni (ohmarcello) | 5031 comments Baxter wrote: "Whooooblooooo

Shadow: I. Again, stopping. Again, its voice is cleared and again the sentence is repeated. I. I don’t know. No. Or yes. I never really thought of that. I suppose it could matter a g..."


This might be a stupid question, but; is the Whoooobloooo actually part of it?


message 16: by Kevin (new)

Kevin (betweenmypages) | 466 comments “Close the damn door!” screamed Markov
“And how the hell will that help us when we’re traveling inside of it,” not expecting, or waiting for a response, I kicked the door wider open.
I was ready to attack the beast in front of us and face it like a brave person, but I hadn’t expected such a rush of fear.
Luckily fear was overrun but adrenaline.
Ellenya jumped out of the helicopter and stood beside me. She whipped her hair behind her head. She turned to me, “Do you have a weapon?”
I reached into the bag that was over my shoulder. I quickly whipped out the dagger and turned to her “You?”
She took out a spear “My dad’s a fisherman.”
I shook my head and then we started circling the creature.
The beast in front of us had long hairs that looked like electric wires. The hairs stretched around his face like a mane, and he stood proudly on all four of his feet. He looked oily skinned and had very smooth skin, though it looked like he had a tail. He looked like a furry beast and yet had many reptilian features on his body. His veins bulged throughout his interior body and his tail was spiked at the end.
He pawed the ground again, making a noise that was something between a hiss and a growl. Then he charged.
He leapt off the ground, and surprisingly jumped right over us. He was going for the helicopter.
Everybody inside the helicopter screamed as the creature jumped onto the glass on the front of the helicopter. He walked on it and then slashed his hand on the glass, shattering it, pieces of sharp glass falling on the pilot.
The pilot’s eyes widened and the other eight kids were in dead silence from shock.
The beast, which I decided I’d call a Flicker, jumped onto the pilot. I wanted to tear my eyes away from the bloody scene unraveling before me, but the harder I tried, the more I realized that if I didn’t see this, I wouldn’t survive a second in Abyssal.
The pilot’s screams would scar my memory, and the sound of the tearing and shredding and slurping of blood would haunt me in my sleep

(Some references in the story won't make sense, you'd have to read more of it to understand. But I hope you like it!!! :D )


message 17: by Baxter, butts butts butts (new)

Baxter (julietrocksmysocks) | 2455 comments Mod
T e s n i wrote: "Baxter wrote: "Whooooblooooo

Shadow: I. Again, stopping. Again, its voice is cleared and again the sentence is repeated. I. I don’t know. No. Or yes. I never really thought of that. I suppose it..."


Surprisngly no, the whoooblooo isn't. Maybe one day....


Elliott Alicia  | 22636 comments Mod
(The moment I start actually liking Henri. :D)

All I want to do when I get home is space out in front of the television and get my daily dose of Michael Landon. I have some reruns of Bonanza and Little House on the Prairie recorded on our DVR. My undying love for Michael Landon is something most people don’t know about me, due to the fact that most teenagers don’t have weird obsessions with old westerns. Whenever my friends are obsessing over Taylor Lautner or Justin Beiber, I’ll just pretend they’re talking about Michael so I don’t have to lie when I chime in with my own comments about how attractive I find him. I select an episode of Bonanza first because, well, let’s think about this. Michael as a middle aged father (still attractive even so) or Michael as a hot cowboy in his twenties?

“Want to watch Bonanza with me?” I ask my mom. She’s up in her at home office and I can hear her fingers clicking on the keys. I’m sure her answer will be no but I ask every day just in case. Once she told me she was obsessed with Bonanza when she was my age too, although her crush was Adam and not Little Joe.

The clicking pauses. “Not right now, sweetheart,” I mouth the words as she says them.

So I walk downstairs to our big screen TV and sink down into our huge couch all by myself. It’s probably more fun this way. I don’t like being interrupted during Michael time. At least, I don’t think I do. It’s never happened before.


message 19: by Autumn (new)

Autumn (flwurautumn) | 4987 comments That is so good! Sorry, I can't seem to think in any good words today. (seeididitagain). I have the vocabulary of a four-year-old today...THE WALL.


Elliott Alicia  | 22636 comments Mod
*throws a brick at the wall*


message 21: by Autumn (new)

Autumn (flwurautumn) | 4987 comments THE WALL MUST BE MADE OF BRICKS.
I guess it's okay. I wrote almost four thousand words today...


Elliott Alicia  | 22636 comments Mod
*steals a brick from the wall then*

Woah. That's a whole lot of words. *high fives*


message 23: by Autumn (new)

Autumn (flwurautumn) | 4987 comments :D

*high fives back*


message 24: by Brigid ✩, No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader. (new)

Brigid ✩ | 11973 comments Mod
Follow The Spiders wrote: "I feel so ameture in with you guys :P


The music came to a halt. Misery was fighting someone. I could tell that it was her from the way her blonde hair was styled.
Was she fighting Olivia?
And was..."


Pish posh. No one in this group is amateur. WE'RE ALL AMAAAZING.

And I really like this. Very intriguing. FOOD FIGHT AND A COWBOY. YEAHHH. Doesn't get much more awesome than that.


message 25: by Brigid ✩, No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader. (new)

Brigid ✩ | 11973 comments Mod
Autumn who is autumny. wrote: "Brigid *Flying Kick-a-pow!* wrote: "ANOTHER SWEET SORROW EXCERPT. WOOOOT.


"You're not going to go crazy, Astrid."

My sister is silent for a long time, continuing to run her fingers over the carp..."


Thanks. Heh heh. *rubs hands together* No, you probably would not want to go there. Well. Actually, it can be a nice place. If you know the right people. ;)


message 26: by Brigid ✩, No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader. (new)

Brigid ✩ | 11973 comments Mod
Annie (Juliet) wrote: "Rose and I had usually been close. We, from as long as I remember, did everything together. Not matter what. We would got our hair cut together, shopped together, even somehow got put in the same c..."

AAHH I love this. So much. Usually I find repetition kind of annoying but I think it worked wonderfully in this case. It's very powerful. And the whole thing just flows very smoothly and nicely.


message 27: by Brigid ✩, No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader. (new)

Brigid ✩ | 11973 comments Mod
Baxter wrote: "Whooooblooooo

Shadow: I. Again, stopping. Again, its voice is cleared and again the sentence is repeated. I. I don’t know. No. Or yes. I never really thought of that. I suppose it could matter a g..."


As usual, I have no idea what the heck this is about. But it's very well-written and full of super cool imagery. Awesome.


message 28: by Brigid ✩, No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader. (new)

Brigid ✩ | 11973 comments Mod
Anyway ... I would reply to everyone's but I really should get back to my own novel. So if I didn't say anything about yours DON'T WORRY, IT'S STILL AWESOME.


message 29: by David (new)

David jones | 94 comments It was on the day of August first 2011 when the coughing started. It started out as a small, mellow cough that nobody worried about but it turned into a large, phlegm spitting cough and hack. Todd was at school. He knew he shouldn't be at school, he knew he needed to care for his parents, but his parents, Carl and Melinda Jones said that they would be fine, said he could go to school. Not that he wanted to, he wanted to care for his sick parents. But unfortunately he couldn't.

Todd was sitting in the lunchroom that very day when everything went to hell and was just eating his lunch alone. He never really had any friends. He shoveled crappy food into his mouth. And then someone sat by him. It was Bill, the bully.

“Hey. Why are you sittin alone shithead?” he taunted.

“Leave me along OK?” Todd asked, not even looking at Bill.

“What, you gonna go crying to your momma...that I am picking on you? Oh grow the hell up will you?”

“I said said shut the hell up!” shouted Todd. He got a few glances.

“No one ever talks to me that way.” Todd was pushed. He fell to the floor, dizzy. Todd got right back up after recovering from his nausea and swung at Bill, who ducked and punched him in the stomach sending him reeling. Bill raced toward Todd in an attempt to kick him and kick him. Using some of his karate knowledge, he swung his feet out from under him and sent Bill falling to the floor. Crowds of students surrounded the fight.

Blood trickled down Bills mouth.

He looked pissed. He stood up and lumbered over to Todd like Godzilla, ready to pound and pound and pound and..
“What the hell is going on here?” asked Mr. Scrivener the principal.

“Todd hit me,” said Bill, pointing to his bloody lip.

“Both of you to my office NOW!” bellowed Mr. Scrivener. Todd got up and Bill and Todd followed the principal. Once they were at the principals office they sat down at the table and waited for the principal to come inside. A few minutes later the principal entered.

“What the hell has gotten into you students?” asked Scrivener. “I will have to suspend both of you.”

“But...but...it wasn't my fault. He sat near me, bugging me. I screamed at him and he pushed me and kicked me. I hit him out of self defense,” Todd Jones pleaded.

“It doesn't matter, we have a no non-sense policy about fighting of any kind do you understand? I don't give a rats ass about (starts to cough heavily) who did and who didn't and who started it. Now you will call your mothers. Call you mom Todd.” Todd was handed the phone. He dialed his phone number and waited, the ringing continuing and continuing until the voice mail box sounded in his ear telling him his parents weren't home. He knew they were because they were sick.

“No one answered,” said Todd.

“Well you can walk home can't you?” asked Principal Scrivener.

“Yes.”

“Then get the hell out!” And with that, Todd moved toward the door and exited the school, about to go home.

Outside it was dark and gloomy, having rained earlier that morning and it looked and smelled like more was on the way. He had a heavy backpack slung over his back with a laptop and all his books stuffed inside of it because his friend usually gave him up-to-date assignments to do if he missed a certain number of days of school. He walked down the sidewalk feeling the chill of September on the even of rain. He turned right at the light and made his way home. He was pissed. Why had he got into a fight with some stupid kid? It was dumb he knew. He had let his emotions get the better of him and now look where that lead him.
This is an excerpt from chapter one. I know long...but yea


message 30: by Autumn (last edited Nov 05, 2011 07:10PM) (new)

Autumn (flwurautumn) | 4987 comments “Whenever Aunt Aria got drunk…I called her The Creature. After one terrible incident when I was eight, I was just sitting there, thinking. You’d expect me to be thinking about what had happened and how horrible my aunt was, but that wasn’t the case.

“All I could think about was how she and I had gone to the aquarium a few days ago, and she’d picked me up to see the fish over everyone else’s heads. I thought about how when we went to the park, she and I played tag, and she never let me win after I asked her to stop. I thought about how every time I showed her one of my drawings, she’d take it up and tape it to the fridge.

“That was when I decided that The Creature wasn’t really her. The Creature looked a little like her, but there were differences. The Creature sounded a little like her, but there were difference. The Creature walked a little like her, but there were differences. The Creature was a lot like my aunt, but there was one big difference. My aunt would never do something like that to me.”

I laughed vaguely upon seeing Sam’s expression. He appeared to be deep in thought, and for once he didn’t immediately open his mouth with some jocular comment. I knew he was really listening. So I continued my story.

“I had the same idea of The Creature for the longest time, that it was some monster that just consumed my aunt’s entire being. Then last year happened. The Creature came down on its vacations more and more often. I didn’t hate Aunt Ari, but I hated The Creature more and more each time that it visited. The Creature was the one that tore me apart, that ate me from the core out, that broke me.

“The Creature came after me next. It was the voice in my head that held me back. It hissed at me and whispered its profanities in my ear, drawing me into its dark little corner. It told me I was nothing, and I believed it.

“It’s funny because The Creature was a figment of my imagination, but at the time it seemed like The Creature had really become a permanent resident of my head, and I would never be free of its reign.”


message 31: by Autumn (new)

Autumn (flwurautumn) | 4987 comments I just realized I spelled "win" as "when." Epic fail.

YES! I AM WRITING ABOUT ELLIOT RIGHT NOW! It's, like, his first scene, though. XD


message 32: by Autumn (new)

Autumn (flwurautumn) | 4987 comments NO YOU DON'T. Because I finished writing it, and I can assure you. It is terrible. Very, very terrible. The ending is anti-climatic, dull, poorly written, and excessively drawn out.


message 33: by Annemarie, hi (last edited Nov 05, 2011 07:38PM) (new)

Annemarie Carlson (annielawlz) | 3393 comments Mod
WARNING, SWEARING, INCLUDING F-BOMBS, DON'T READ IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE IT, KAY?

I stumble to the door and fling it open expecting to see my best friend but the sight that I see instead shocks me.

Sophie and a boy I don’t recognize are at the door.

“Oh, for the love of all that’s Holy, he brought YOU along?” Sophie says with a sneer.

“Oh, hi, nice to see you too, Sophie.”

“Move out the way, whore.” She says as she pushes me out of the way

“Hey, now. You don’t get to call me a whore and then expect to just be let in. Plus, I don’t even know who this dude is.”

She glares at me, “this is not your hotel room. I saw the charge on Harrison’s card. And, Juliet this is my boyfriend Tom, not that’s in any of your fucking business.”

“Hi, nice to meet you, Tom.” I hold out my hand over Sophie.

“Uh, nice to meet you too,” He shakes it in a generally confused way.

“Let’s just fuck the pleasantries, okay. I need to talk to my brother.”

“You forgot the magic word,” I say.

“Bitch, please. Move your fat ass or I will mess you up.”

“That’s really the opposite of what I was going for, but oh well, come in.”

“Finally,” she says as I hold the door open.

Sophie and Tom stand in the middle of the living room. Sophie glances around, accessing the situation, “Where is Harrison?”

I point to his door, “in there. But, be careful when you come in, he’s sleeping.”

She leers at me, but nonetheless, goes into the room.

“So, this is awkward.” I say to Tom, “Do you want anything to drink?”

“Water?”

I smile, “Sure, sit down on the couch, make yourself at home.”

He hesitantly sits on the couch and I rummage through the kitchen for some water. I ure hope they have water. It’s a hotel though, and I assume it’s here somewhere. There is a black cabinet that looks kind of promising, I pull it open and sure enough, it’s a fridge packed with bottles of water.

Walking back to the living room I hand him the water and sit opposite of him.

We stare at each other for a minute. I study his entire being. He’s super preppy. Or, maybe, just a hipster, but he either way he looks rather nervous. His hair is messed up in a way that looks like it’s on purpose. He wears large rimmed glasses that remind me of Harry Potter. Maybe he is a wizard and he will help me find the next clue.

I feel as though he is probably inspecting me in the same way. Which is a tad unsettling. I’m sure my miles of wavy blond hair are everywhere. I’m also sure that my eye makeup is smeared everywhere on my face and I fear that my face has pillow marks. Don’t even get me started on my outfit. Not that I can remember what it is. I glance down… Oh, it’s the fancy dress from graduation. How odd that I forgot.

“So, dating Sophie. That must be a party,” Small talk was never a gift of mine.

He simply nods; I suspect that he is tired.

“I always wanted to meet someone named Tom. It’s such a great name. Very… fun. I thought about naming my child Tom at one point. Not Thomas, mind you. Tom. It would be the best…” I trail off.

He looks at me like I’m insane, “Juliet’s a nice name too.”

“Actually, not. It kind of sucks being named after a girl so widely known. That’s why I’ve never wanted to name my child after someone, it would lead to many expectations that they could never possibly fulfill.” I think for a moment, “Like, if I named my son Ghandi and my daughter Teresa they would forever be striving to be as good as Ghandi or Teresa and never bother to spend time focusing on being who they are. Or even myself, I’ve always been the romantic type, and I know that’s got to do with the Romeo and Juliet thing.”

“I guess that makes sense. I’ve honestly haven’t thought about much what to name my children.”

“Yeah, guys usually don’t. It’s cool.”

We sit in silence for a minute after that.

“Are you a hipster?” I blurt out.

“What?”

“Did I stutter?”

He looks taken aback, “I am most certainly not a hipster.”

“Well, you look an awful lot like one. If someone asked me to describe you, I would say ‘That dude, Tom, yeah, he’s hipster Harry Potter.’”

“Surprisingly, this is not he first time that I have been told this.” He says with a sigh.

“Yeah, well, it’s because it’s true.”

“I don’t even like Harry Potter,” he admits.

“What? That’s riddikulus , I should say.”

“I’ve always been more into Lord of the Rings and the like.”

“Lame-oh.”

He doesn’t say anything.

“We are not having fucking sex!” Harrison shouts from the other room.

Tom immediately adverts his gaze. I laugh, and shout, “That’s REDUNDANT, Harrison.”

To my surprise, Tom laughs which makes me laugh and then before I know it, we’re both laughing like mad. I don’t know if it’s the joke or the fact that it’s three in the morning, but we’re both exhausted and just want to laugh.

Sophie and Harrison decide to come out of the room right in the middle of our laughing fit, “What’s going on here?” Sophie seems just as, if not more, pissed as she was before.

“Oh, nothing.” Tom and I say the exact same time which prompts us to laugh even harder than before.

“See, Sophie I told you that they would be fine by themselves. Look at them, they’re practically best friends.”


message 34: by Autumn (new)

Autumn (flwurautumn) | 4987 comments Annie (Juliet) wrote: "WARNING, SWEARING, INCLUDING F-BOMBS, DON'T READ IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE IT, KAY?

I stumble to the door and fling it open expecting to see my best friend but the sight that I see instead shocks me.
..."


That made me laugh :D I like your characterization.


message 35: by Tesni (new)

Tesni (ohmarcello) | 5031 comments Baxter wrote: "T e s n i wrote: "Baxter wrote: "Whooooblooooo

Shadow: I. Again, stopping. Again, its voice is cleared and again the sentence is repeated. I. I don’t know. No. Or yes. I never really thought of t..."


Right. Yeah, the rest of it was so surreal, it wouldn't have surprised me xD
That said, I do think that's why I like your writing so much, you know (protagonist's voice creeping into my head >.< ) I think it can be interpreted or visualised in a lot of different ways.
I love the last line.


message 36: by Tesni (new)

Tesni (ohmarcello) | 5031 comments Annie (Juliet) wrote: "WARNING, SWEARING, INCLUDING F-BOMBS, DON'T READ IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE IT, KAY?

I stumble to the door and fling it open expecting to see my best friend but the sight that I see instead shocks me.
..."


What Autumn said, basically. And I love your dialogue. It sounds very real.


message 37: by Tesni (new)

Tesni (ohmarcello) | 5031 comments Angsty monologue from my novel, in which Ren, the ghost, rambles in a very bitter manner about his death (he fell of the cliff on a headland), asks lots of questions and wonders why people want to die young.
------
The fall.
Funny, things like that. Everything gets distorted, a million things happen at once, or nothing happens at all, and it seems to alternate depending on the day and how I feel about everything.
Sometimes I think that I was unconscious, that I had already blacked out before I hit the rocks; that my eyes were closed.
Sometimes, I think I screamed (Julie- he didn't, as far as I can remember) and saw everything coming, how quickly I was going, that I was pissing myself in fear. But then, there probably wasn't time for that, was there? (was there?) How long was there between falling and hitting the rocks?

Do I just think these things because they're how I want them to be, how I'd like other people to think of them?
How can you even want something like that to be a certain way? How can you, you know, plan the way you want to die, chose one way over another? How long to people spend thinking over their last words, and how profound they want them to be? Some people pull it off, others don’t.
Many deaths we never hear about at all. Most people, I think, are quiet, that’s all they ask for, that’s all I would ask for too. I’ve heard a lot of people say that they’d want to have lived well, you know, flourish briefly for an intensely short period in their lives, and then go out like a candle dramatically. Have their unrequited love go to their funeral, put flowers on the coffin and confess how much they loved you to all present, except the one person who actually needs to hear it.
I think that when people say such things they imagine that they want their lives to be full of late nights, and sex, and going to music festivals in the summer, and things like that, and that they shall value every single second of their existence because they know it will so soon get snatched away from them.
Everyone’s perceptions of death are crap, Julie, and don’t let anybody tell you otherwise, because they wouldn’t know what it was to have everything taken away from you like that until it had already happened. For one thing, even though we always talk about living in the now and valuing the present, who does, really? I know I never used to. We’re always so preoccupied with looking forward or looking back, we don’t bother with what’s actually happening.
For another, how young is young, how satisfied to people have to be with the age that they want to die? I was ten years old, holidaying with my parents, not even started secondary school. The first time I see the sea, I am picked up by some unspeakable force of fate and pushed well over a hundred feet drop.
God, wasn’t that just a bit too perfect, and hilariously ironic in a way? Oh, you want the sea, here it is, now, I’ll drop you in, just down there, strike you against those rocks on your way down, that all right? You could have scrambled all over them anyway picking at the barnacles, stood on them and jumped into the sea, so let’s just get that over and done with, shall we? Jolly good.

But now for a contradiction. If there is one thing I know there was not, then that is pain. I died instantly, before I even realised it, and from where I fell the waves swirled around me, washing the blood and everything else away.
A part of me, too, the essence of me, got pulled into the water. And there, ever since, it has stayed.


message 38: by Tesni (new)

Tesni (ohmarcello) | 5031 comments ~Yue~ [Wander no more] wrote: "T e s n i wrote: "Angsty monologue from my novel, in which Ren, the ghost, rambles in a very bitter manner about his death (he fell of the cliff on a headland), asks lots of questions and wonders ..."

SIR YES SIR.
I'm a couple of days behind, apparently, so, I do need to catch up.


message 39: by Emily (new)

Emily (fluteplayer2) | 51 comments A Decimate excerpt:

Footsteps thundered through the forest as a filthy and exhausted group ran from a seemingly invisible force. Crashes came from the depths of the forest, about a mile underground.

The sky suddenly darkened and a rumbling roared through the foliage. A scream erupted from one of the runners as he tripped over a monstruous tree root.

A large man stumbled from the underbrush, trying to catch his breath. He tried to follow the group out of the forest, but a thick smoke was attacking his lungs.

It wasn't long before the ground swallowed itself and everything went silent.


Elliott Alicia  | 22636 comments Mod
Kriss wrote: "“… ah…” Kuruk actually flinched. “I’m sorry.”

“And you’re also a liar, it seems.”

“Impossible. The omega has a bite, after all.”

I did not reply to that. Perhaps I had more teeth then he woul..."


But then, cruelty is a matter of perspective. I am in love with this line.


Elliott Alicia  | 22636 comments Mod
~Yue~ [I try to believe] wrote: "Unfortunately for me, being gay and unsocial, I had nowhere else to go. I wandered around the gasoline station for a while as a 50 year old man with a scruffy beard and a large belly with a spooky ..."

Your main character has this unique voice that makes me want to tackle her even though I fear what would happen if I did. xD


Elliott Alicia  | 22636 comments Mod
Brigid *Flying Kick-a-pow!* wrote: "ANOTHER SWEET SORROW EXCERPT. WOOOOT.


"You're not going to go crazy, Astrid."

My sister is silent for a long time, continuing to run her fingers over the carpet like she's searching for somethin..."


THIS IS REALLY INTRIGUING OH MY WORD. I need to know what happens. :O


Elliott Alicia  | 22636 comments Mod
Follow The Spiders wrote: "I feel so ameture in with you guys :P


The music came to a halt. Misery was fighting someone. I could tell that it was her from the way her blonde hair was styled.
Was she fighting Olivia?
And was..."


Woah, someone by the name of Misery? Is that just a name or is it symbolic? Cool!


Elliott Alicia  | 22636 comments Mod
Annie (Juliet) wrote: "Rose and I had usually been close. We, from as long as I remember, did everything together. Not matter what. We would got our hair cut together, shopped together, even somehow got put in the same c..."

Aaah I absolutely adore your writing style. This this this is amazing.


message 45: by Elliott Alicia (last edited Nov 07, 2011 09:07PM) (new)

Elliott Alicia  | 22636 comments Mod
Baxter wrote: "Whooooblooooo

Shadow: I. Again, stopping. Again, its voice is cleared and again the sentence is repeated. I. I don’t know. No. Or yes. I never really thought of that. I suppose it could matter a g..."


I don't understand this at all to be honest. It makes me feel sort of stupid. I think I like it though. It shows that you're obviously a creative writer who has a way with words. I would like it more if it didn't make me feel stupid.


Elliott Alicia  | 22636 comments Mod
Labels are oftentimes the only way to try and pin down what differentiates a specific person from that group known as everyone else. There’s this image floating around in my mind where all my friends blur together. It’s hard to pick them out as individuals but once I label them the picture becomes so much clearer. There’s the boy who wanted to be liked by everyone and the girl who couldn’t stand being told what to do. They’re still holding hands in my mental image, separate but never apart. I see the boy who tried his best but never felt good enough to enter into the kingdom of heaven, the only place he ever said he wanted to belong. In the corner is the girl who hid her true self all along and nobody suspected anything. A young child who seemed to be the most innocent girl in the world is blocked out by the young man who hardened his heart to the world. This is who they were, but inside them all was who they were going to become and who they could’ve become. There’s so many different versions of the same basic person waiting in each mind for the tiny shifts that will bring them to life. Every major life experience is a catalyst to the change that determines who they’ll be when the old version dies. No one knows or thinks about these other versions. What’s the point? They aren’t you and you have no reason to think that they’ll ever become you until something happens. The changes are usually tiny and imperceptible. Most people call this growing up, even though in all honesty it’s a rapid series of dying and being born again. The people who are hit hard, who know what it’s like for the change to come in a wave, are called crazy by some, adjusting by others. Sometimes I wonder who I’d be if this had never happened. Would I still be the girl in the picture or would I have grown up into who I am today without any of the preceding events? Maybe the person I am now would still be locked inside as a possible version of myself that was never meant to be. I’d like to think that I’d still be a better person because I knew him, even if what happened didn’t speed up the process. That’s the thing about life. We’ll never know what could’ve happened if only, because the if only’s will never exist.


message 47: by Brigid ✩, No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader. (new)

Brigid ✩ | 11973 comments Mod
AAHHH I love all the excerpts. I just want to read ALL THESE STORIIIIEEEES. I could read them all day instead of doing stupid homework. Or, you know, writing my own story.

Well, here's another excerpt from mine because I haven't in a while. I guess I'll bother to censor it a bit:


I gather my thoughts and my courage, standing up as straight as I can. "You can––You can come out," I say, raising my voice a little. But the words don't come out sounding as assured as I wanted them too.

More scuffling in the leaves. A low growl.

Oh God oh God oh ...

"It's, um ... It's okay," I continue. "Look, I don't have any weapons or anything. See? It's safe out here. I promise."

The growl grows louder, and I instinctively take a step backward. No. I have to stay where I am. I can't let this thing get to me, whatever the hell it is. Maybe I should try another tactic.

"All right, universe," I say. "Maybe you're just messing with me here. You're trying to make me face my fears or something. Who knows? I have no freaking clue. But look, I'm not falling for it. I'm not going to play your stupid games, okay? I just came here to be relaxed and all that jazz, so I really don't need this sh** from you. Okay?"

I don't know what I expect––a rumbling voice to answer me from the sky? There's nothing. No sign that anyone or anything could hear me. Except for that I don't hear anything moving in the bushes anymore. Maybe the weird creature-thing is gone now. Maybe the universe heard me after all.

I'm give up on waiting, and I start to turn around. But I've barely started to move, when suddenly there's a crashing noise. Leaves fly into the air and branches are torn out of place. The bushes nearest to me have burst open, and out leaps the most hideous creature I've ever seen in my life.

I don't even know what to think, how to define this disgusting beast in my mind. It's worse than anything my worst nightmares could conjure up. This thing is just plain nasty and terrifying as hell.

At first I think maybe it's a giant turtle. It has a large, dark green shell, with red-tipped spikes branching off it in random places. But where a turtle's body should be, it looks more like some cat-like creature. Like a lynx or a mountain lion, only way more disgusting. It has the cat-shaped face, and the pointed ears, but it's also hairless. Its skin is yellowish and sagging. Its eyes are filmy and the color of puke. Its huge head is attached to a long, ropey neck that swings from side to side. And right now, it's looking right at me.

I don't move. I'm afraid that if I move, that thing will pounce on me. And if that were to happen ... I don't know. Would I wake up? Whenever I've felt uneasy in the Mirror World, I've always woken up. But this is different. I've never, ever encountered anything like this before. All I can do is stand there, frozen.

"Good one, universe," I say, still hoping this is some kind of sick, cosmic joke. But I can hear the insecurity in my own voice. "Really, nice job. It looks very realistic. Now please make this creepy-a** demon thing go away."

The vicious cat-turtle from hell takes a step toward me. Its feet kind of look like elephant feet––rounded and gigantic. Except for that they're tipped with claws as long as kitchen knives.

"Go away," I repeat. "Go away, go away, go the hell away."

But the terrifying creature doesn't go away. In fact, it's coming closer to me, step by step. It's like it's torturing me, taunting me, waiting for me to make the first move so it can finish me off. It starts to grin––yes, actually grin like a person. I'm pretty sure it's the most disturbing thing I've ever seen in my life. Its mouth opens then, and it's filled with sharp, yellow teeth that are blackening at the edges like they're rotting away. Clear drool drips from one of its bottom teeth, and plops onto the ground in a small puddle.

"You––You can't hurt me," I tell the demon, looking right into its eyes. "You can't. You are just some imaginary creature that my stupid mind has made up. And now you're just trying to scare me into waking up, and it's not going to work. I'm not afraid of you."

The creature makes an awful noise, a gurgling hiss that fills the whole clearing. It doesn't seem to care what I have to say. It still looks hungry. And it sure as hell isn't listening to me.

"I'm not afraid," I say again, but I can feel my whole form vibrating, yearning to return to its physical state. "I ... am ... not ... afraid ..." But the words are suddenly heavy, like stones in my mouth. And I know the more I say them, the more false they become.

The demon knows. I can see the glint of victory in its disgusting, puke-colored eyes. It knows it has me cornered, and now I'm nothing more than helpless prey waiting to be devoured.

"No," is all I can say now. I feel like I'm being strangled and I can't move or think or do anything at all. I'm starting to fade. "No!"

The one word seems to only urge the demon forward. It lets out a rumbling growl. And somehow, despite how heavy it looks, it leaps right toward me and I can feel pain tearing through my chest and sharp teeth piercing my neck and I'm screaming and screaming and no one will hear ...

*

When I wake up, I fall off the bed, tangled in my sheets. I'm dead. Oh, my God. I've died. There was so much pain. There was no way to escape.

But then I can breathe again, inhaling and exhaling oxygen in short gasps. My heart is rattling around in my chest like it's about to burst.

I sit up too fast, making myself dizzy. But I don’t care. I feel my face, my shaking fingers tracing over my nose and mouth and around my eyes. My palms are hot and sweaty. I put a hand over my chest, and everything inside is still intact. I look down and there are no tears in my shirt. I’m real and alive and whole.

But now I’m more terrified than I’ve ever been in my life.

I’m no longer safe. My only sanctuary has been invaded.


message 48: by Emily (last edited Nov 08, 2011 12:44PM) (new)

Emily (fluteplayer2) | 51 comments Oooh, why not!

Decimate excerpt:


“He’s kind of ... nerdy.”

“And clingy. You should be friends with him.” Zack exited the elevator and made his way to the line forming at the counter. He picked up a bowl of oatmeal and an apple. Ana was directly behind him, picking up the same thing.

“What was that supposed to mean?”

“He needs to be friends with someone.” Zack walked over to an empty table and took a seat. Ana sat across from him. She undid her silverware from the napkin at her seat. She put the spoon in her oatmeal.

“You can’t you be his friend, why?”

Zack rolled his eyes. He saw Bryan jogging towards the table they were seated at.

“Hey, Zack! Who’s the girl?”

Ana’s eyes widened, suddenly understanding Zack’s irritation. Bryan slid into the seat next to Zack.

“This is Ana, Bryan.” Zack smiled, savoring what Ana had just been dragged into. Ana nodded a greeting.

“Are you two together?”

Zack nearly spit his oatmeal across the table. Bryan gave him a look.

“No,” Ana said calmly.

Bryan’s eyes brightened. “You’re straight, aren’t you, Zack?”

Zack glared at Bryan, but he didn’t make a move. Ana covered her mouth. “What do you mean by that?”

“Do you not see that she’s totally a hot babe?”

Zack saw Ana look away from the table, pretending that the line entering for food was more interesting. Bryan looked at Zack expectantly.

“She’s my partner for an assignment, Bryan,” Zack said softly, but tried to fill it with biting tone. “I’m not looking for a girlfriend or some hot babe to get in my bed, okay?”

Bryan looked down at the chipped table.

“That was rude and I’m asking that you leave.”

“I’m sorry,” Bryan apologized as he stood from the table. “Both of you.”

He slunk over to a nearly empty table in the corner. No one greeted him.

“I’m sorry about that,” Zack said to Ana. “He doesn’t really have a filter when it comes to words going from his brain to his mouth.”

Ana looked back at Zack, tearing her gaze away from the line in the dining hall. She shrugged. “And Chief Winston called you sexist. Thanks, Zack.”

“I may be sexist, but Bryan’s an idiot.”

The elevator doors opened and the clicking of heels entered the dining hall. Chief Winston was looking around the dining hall.

“Either the world exploded or I’m in trouble,” Zack muttered into his oatmeal. Ana gave him a questioning look. “She never sets foot in the dining hall. She thinks it’s like a public feeding pen.”

“But it is ... ”

“Excuse me, I think this is slightly more civilized.”

Chief Winston walked directly towards the table that Zack and Ana were sitting at.

“I’m screwed, I’m screwed, I’m screwed.”

“What did you do?”

“You think I remember?”


message 49: by Brigid ✩, No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader. (new)

Brigid ✩ | 11973 comments Mod
fluteplayer2 wrote: "Oooh, why not!

Decimate excerpt:


“He’s kind of ... nerdy.”

“And clingy. You should be friends with him.” Zack exited the elevator and made his way to the line forming at the counter. ..."


COOLIO!!!


message 50: by Brigid ✩, No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader. (new)

Brigid ✩ | 11973 comments Mod
MEHHH another little excerpt from Sweet Sorrow:


(But I didn't mean to. It was an accident. Honestly, it was.)

I kept telling myself it had all been a bad dream. Yet, I didn't go back into the Mirror World in fear of it happening again. And for nights on end, I could barely sleep at all. As much as I tried to convince myself that it hadn't been real, I kept seeing it all over again––the girl sprawled in the snow, her face hidden, her hair blowing in the wind, her fingertips and toes turning purple from the cold. (I did that to her.)

There was nothing to do about it now, whether it was real or not. But it still disturbed me deeply, every time I thought about it. I barely realized it, but I was aware that I was sinking into myself, becoming more withdrawn. I couldn't talk to anyone. I'd always been a rather quiet person, but now I was quieter than ever. Or at least, that's what I felt like. Every time I opened my mouth to speak, I felt as if a ghost were wrapping its fingers around my neck and closing off my windpipe, stuffing the words down my throat. I couldn't speak, couldn't think. I just kept seeing those purple fingers, right within my reach. (If only I'd had a few more seconds of time, I could have touched them. I could have saved her.)


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