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message 1: by Patricia (new)

Patricia Lynne (patricialynne07) I have a short story (omg, really?? yup! ^_~) and I gave it a title, Lies Under Moonlight, but it really doesn't fit, so I need a new title. Probably is, like every other author out there, I suck at coming up with titles and need help.

Let's see if I can write a rough blurb.

Ben Donnally has been taught homosexuality is wrong. Raised in a strict religious family, Ben sees no reason to doubt that claim. Then Eric Whyte enters his life, and Ben discovers maybe he was taught wrong. Maybe there's nothing wrong with being Gay and that was how God made him to be. But Ben's father won't stand for that kind of thinking and places Ben in a camp so he can be fixed. When a camp counselor tried to molest Ben, claiming it is God's will and will fix him, Eric helps Ben escape and finally reveals the secret he's been wanting to tell Ben. He's a werewolf and Ben is his mate.

With Eric's help, Ben learns to accept himself, and stop waiting for judgement to rain down on him. But his past isn't so willing to let him go. Ben knows he has to face his father and his old life. And they have to face the new him. Will they be able to accept him?

So, title ideas, anyone? Also, I need beta readers. =D


message 2: by Kitty (new)

Kitty (kittyorell) What is a beta reader?


message 3: by Sammy Goode (new)

Sammy Goode | 5380 comments What about Fixing Ben or Love reigns down or The will of the father or Passing Judgment?

I would love to give my hand at Beta work--but must admit I have never done it before. Check my reviews to see if you would be comfortable using me.

Sorry--got to scoot over an post on the other site--I had a remarkably terrible day and an incredible confrontation with a bigot. Am in a meeting right now--pretending to be taking notes.

Patricia, I'd be thrilled to beta for you--no worries if you need someone more experienced=:)


message 4: by Patricia (new)

Patricia Lynne (patricialynne07) A beta reader is someone who reads a rough draft and critiques it. Points out plot holes, parts that would confuse the reader, parts that need to be cut, expanded on, showing not telling, parts or sentences that were really good. Stuff like that.


message 5: by Sammy Goode (new)

Sammy Goode | 5380 comments I do this work but with scripts (I teach a class, actually on script writing--very different from novel writing). Let me know if you need a hand.


message 6: by Summer (new)

Summer Michaels | 361 comments Ok, here is what I came up with...since Ben was raised to follow the path God has for him, I kinda see him standing at a fork in the road. One way leads him down a road where he would be living a lie. The other path leads him to his true self. So what about Path of Deceit?

Kit a beta reader reads the story before anyone else. They help with grammer, plot, and anything else the author asks for.


message 7: by Kitty (new)

Kitty (kittyorell) I can be a beta reader if you want? I'm not pro, but I help with my friends and the stories they write


message 8: by Summer (new)

Summer Michaels | 361 comments Ooh Sammy, I like Fixing Ben! Great title!!


message 9: by Patricia (new)

Patricia Lynne (patricialynne07) Summer wrote: "Ok, here is what I came up with...since Ben was raised to follow the path God has for him, I kinda see him standing at a fork in the road. One way leads him down a road where he would be living a l..."

I think you might have figured out a good cover! Not sure I want to go with Path because I have a four part short stories series called Path of Angels. >.<


message 10: by Patricia (new)

Patricia Lynne (patricialynne07) Kit wrote: "I can be a beta reader if you want? I'm not pro, but I help with my friends and the stories they write"

Sure, I could use a young person's opinion since it is YA. ;) Message me your email address and I get it to you. Plus, while it's nice having my writer friends beta read for me, sometimes they look at the story too much like a writer so I need someone who has a reader's eye to give me their opinion too.


message 11: by Scylar (new)

Scylar Tyberius (scy_ty) Sammy2006 wrote: "What about Fixing Ben or Love reigns down or The will of the father or Passing Judgment?

I would love to give my hand at Beta work--but must admit I have never done it before. Check my reviews to..."


Oh, but she's good at titles. FIxing Ben! Seems perfect. Hope you're feeling better, Sammy.


message 12: by Patricia (new)

Patricia Lynne (patricialynne07) I am leaning towards Fixing Ben. Just waiting to see if something else pops even louder at me.


message 13: by Kitty (new)

Kitty (kittyorell) I think if you call it Fixing Ben it makes it seem like Ben is broken, or that something is wrong with him


message 14: by Sammy Goode (new)

Sammy Goode | 5380 comments But from the blurb--that is the crux of the matter--and Ben isn't broken--so the title fits----I think?=:)


message 15: by Patricia (new)

Patricia Lynne (patricialynne07) Sammy2006 wrote: "But from the blurb--that is the crux of the matter--and Ben isn't broken--so the title fits----I think?=:)"

I agree. Plus, in a way, Ben is fixing himself by accepting himself.


message 16: by Kitty (new)

Kitty (kittyorell) Okay. You can totally use that title, it's your book, that's just my opinion. I think a different title would work better


message 17: by Patricia (new)

Patricia Lynne (patricialynne07) A friend on FB suggest Twist of Faith and that one doesn't sound bad either. I dunno, I guess I'm still waiting to hear that one phrase or word that makes me jump and say "THAT'S IT!"


message 18: by Byron (new)

Byron (byft) | 1060 comments I dunno, it's hard to say, does religion remain in Ben's life? Is it a part of Eric's life?? if so then 'God's wolf'...


message 19: by Patricia (new)

Patricia Lynne (patricialynne07) Religion remains in Ben's life, but Eric is skeptic and his skepticism is continuing in the sequel which is being told from his POV (which I am working on right now, Byron)


message 20: by Byron (new)

Byron (byft) | 1060 comments ~shrugs~ then I dunno, what's wrong with your own idea?? O_o aside from it's 'Not Popping'??


message 21: by Patricia (new)

Patricia Lynne (patricialynne07) There's really no lies in the story. Ben doesn't see his parents as lying to him, he eventually sees his parent's actions as misguided.


message 22: by Kitty (new)

Kitty (kittyorell) I'll give you my opinion when I finish your book, which will be by this weekend, I think


message 23: by Patricia (new)

Patricia Lynne (patricialynne07) Kit wrote: "I'll give you my opinion when I finish your book, which will be by this weekend, I think"

=) Awesome.


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