Dylan's writing

[Dylan]

This is a story I'm working on. I'd love to become a famous author someday. It's called Drunk on Blood. Please give feedback on what you thought of it, and how I can improve. It's fairly short so far, but I'm still adding more to it. Thanks! :D

http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/2...

[Dylan]

I've got chapter 2 up, please read it. :D

http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/2...

[Dylan]

I've got chapter 3 up too.

http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/2...

Has anyone read this yet? Please do, I want my story to be reviewed. I really want to be an author someday and need critisism! Thanks! :D

[Lunabell]

That was really good!!!!

Some advice:

Check spelling.

I feel as if there was a little too much action right at the beginning. I don't really know the character that well; it's mostly action. Maybe you could do more character development?

Besides that, it's SUPER GOOOD!

[Dylan]

Thanks! I'm glad you liked it, I'll do some editing now. I'll add more details about the characters. What should I do to make it better? Should I say what the characters are feeling, or how they look? Just trying to get some more elaborated advise. Thanks for reading! :D

[Lunabell]

Well, not how they look... I just feel as if you jump right into the action, without sparing any time for us to just get to know the main character a bit more...

But don't forget that it's already great!

[Dylan]

O.k. thanks! :D

[Brian]

Hey Dylan, i like the idea, but like Lunabell said, i think you should slow down the story a bit. Basically, it feels like all this is happening to this person, but that person is still a stranger, we as an audience aren't really given the chance to connect with Andrew. ok, now it feels like i'm just telling you what Lunabell did..., anyhow, keep up the good work. :)

[Dylan]

Thanks, I'll update it and make changes when I have time. :D

[Dylan]

I have just finished chapter 5, tell me what you think. Also don't read if you can't watch violent movies. Thanks! :D

-Dylan

[Dylan]

I've finished ch. 6! Tell me what you think! :D

-Dylan

[Dylan]

I've finished chapter 7 just now. So read it.

[Dylan]

I've finished chapters 8 and 9. Please read.