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Off Topic > What do you think of this story?

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message 1: by Dylan (last edited Nov 06, 2008 11:18AM) (new)

Dylan (dmfriend26) | 85 comments Mod
Hi everyone,
I really want to be an author after college and would like to know what you think of this story I'm working on.

Drunk on Blood:
All Andrew wants is for his parents to stop fighting, but they won't. His mother is depressed and drunk all the time, and she beats his dad. He prays to God that he'd die, but death won't come. That's when Victor comes to him and turns him into a vampire. At first he thinks being emortal isn't too bad; that is until he starts seeing visions of his parents grief. He thinks his mother's going to kill herself, so he tries to get back to her. But Victor has other plans.

I know it's a lot like the vampire chronicles but I'll change it a little bit, so it isn't. So what do you think? I know my spelling & grammer needs work, but give me some good feedback. :D

Thanks!
Dylan


message 2: by Alexis (new)

Alexis (aesquibel25) Hey that's not too bad, maybe if we could see some of what Victor has planned, is it horrible, devious, life changing?


message 3: by Dylan (new)

Dylan (dmfriend26) | 85 comments Mod
Well, he threatens to kill his whole family! That leads to a battle Andrew vs. Victor.

or

He threatens to turn his girlfriend into a vampire, and Andrew doesn't want her to have that horrid life.

What sounds better? I kinda like the first better, because I was going to make her a vampire anyway.


message 4: by Alexis (new)

Alexis (aesquibel25) YEah I like the 1st storyline better, seems like there'd be more action that way :)


message 5: by Dylan (new)

Dylan (dmfriend26) | 85 comments Mod
Oh it's on now! I've got the links right here:

Ch.1:
http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/2...

Ch.2:
http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/2...

Ch.3:
http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/2...

Tell me what you think and enjoy! :D


message 6: by Dylan (new)

Dylan (dmfriend26) | 85 comments Mod
So has anyone else read it?
If so than tell me what you think. :D


message 7: by Dylan (new)

Dylan (dmfriend26) | 85 comments Mod
Well, I'm 8 chapters in, and i'm having a blast writting it. BTW: Where is everybody?


message 8: by Michelle (new)

Michelle | 9 comments I think that sounds really interesting and i like the family setting, i would find it very easy to get into. I am going to read it...I will get back to you


message 9: by Dylan (new)

Dylan (dmfriend26) | 85 comments Mod
I need to put it back on goodreads first. I'm going to write some of it tonight. :D


message 10: by Michelle (new)

Michelle | 9 comments by the way, I like the first story line also, but at the same time you could still input some of the second story line also.



message 11: by Dylan (last edited Nov 26, 2008 12:14PM) (new)

Dylan (dmfriend26) | 85 comments Mod
Yeah, I could but right now I want to work on finishing it. :D


message 12: by ♥ Rachel♥ (new)

♥ Rachel♥   (i_got_a_jar_of_dirt) i started reading it, don't remember which chapter i was on, let me c if u posted any more....


message 13: by ♥ Rachel♥ (new)

♥ Rachel♥   (i_got_a_jar_of_dirt) did u delete it? i can't find it anywhere....


message 14: by Dylan (new)

Dylan (dmfriend26) | 85 comments Mod
yes


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