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message 1: by A. (new)

A. | 19 comments What the {insert expletive here} do these people get these ideas...

I am a plus sized girl...but gee whiz...if I had the choice I certainly wouldnt' do this.

message 2: by Kim, Proud Queen of the Fat and Fabulous! (last edited Jul 15, 2011 07:55AM) (new)

Kim (mrsnesbitt) | 1031 comments Mod
I am not going to judge. If this is what she wants to do, then I have no right to judge her. I will say this though, that this kind of behavior just reinforces negative images of fat people. This kind of sub-set (the feeder/gainer) is not good for anyone, including her 4 year old. I am all for positive images of fat people and I feel that children should be exposed to all sorts of different types of people, but what is her daughter learning here?

Is she going to have a skewed view of food and be an anorexic, bulimic or will she follow in her mothers example and try to be even bigger? She could just turn out to be a very well adjusted kid....

message 3: by Kim, Proud Queen of the Fat and Fabulous! (last edited Jul 28, 2011 07:42AM) (new)

Kim (mrsnesbitt) | 1031 comments Mod
Simpson was on local radio this morning. Here is a link to the pod cast. You will have to put up with a rant by John Lanigan about the debt crisis first.

message 4: by Kim, Proud Queen of the Fat and Fabulous! (new)

Kim (mrsnesbitt) | 1031 comments Mod
O.K. I admit that I watched something yesterday that I swore I would never watch EVER. I watched Dr. Oz.(hangs head in shame) I am not in love with Oprah's pet doctor nor am I in love with the influence he has with his local buddies Dr.'s Roizen and Cosgrove (when they are not busy having a 3 way, they seem intent on ruining everything that is fun and making all us into a size 6)

That said, he had on a woman named Susanne Eman, who is currently the world's fattest woman and weighs 728+ lbs. She lives in AZ. (for more on her see this link )

Eman has a web site and tweets about her gain. She is the single mother of 2 boys and eats 20,000 calories a day. Oz had her on to try to "help" her. He had on two men, both who follow her site and others, one saying he is a feeder and F.A. the other, an F.A. (The second one has a C.D. called " A Whole Lotta Love: A tribute to Fat Chicks and can be found at )

Oz seemed to wax between incredulous and freaked out that these men could honestly say that Susan was beautiful. He kept calling their passion as a bizarre fetish and went as far as to have a sex expert say the same! Now I will give you the feeder thing as being a fetish, but implying that finding larger people desirable can only happen if it's a fetish really steams me!

Anyway, she claims that she is healthy and he obtained her actual medical records and they ran their own basic tests at the show. Her B.M.I is 128, her triglycerides were 516 (normal should be around 150 or less) and her fasting blood sugar was 156, normal being 100 or less. Yet, she claims that she is not diabetic and that she can still walk, (barely from the video footage) and further claims that if her boys told her to stop, she would think about it. Yet, her boys said as much in the video they showed and she did just not seem to hear it.

Now, I am all for size acceptance and for embracing who you are. If this is what she wants then who are we to say she is wrong. Is her health truly at risk? In this case, yes, her size is a HUGE risk. She is too heavy to be diagnosed on any machines like CAT scans or MRI. (More on that in a minute.) So the fears that she may have pulmonary embolisms and the like (very real fears) cannot be diagnosed.
My concern is for her sons. If she were not a single mother, or any kind of mother for that matter, I could maybe be a little less uptight about this. It bothers me that she is so determined to do this, why I don't know, but to possibly die in front of her sons, or to have them possibly find her dead one morning, terrifies me.

I am torn between what she does is her business and doesn't she worry about what she is doing to her kids? Did she give up? Is she an attention hound? Or is this just how she is wired and we need to respect that?

I did not like how Oz handled this subject, it was part circus (look at the freaks!) and part, ratings grab. He claims that at any time she wants help, he will be there. Sure, with camera crew and the Neilson's. Would he be so willing to "help" her if he wasn't famous?

message 5: by Kim, Proud Queen of the Fat and Fabulous! (last edited Sep 30, 2011 07:42AM) (new)

Kim (mrsnesbitt) | 1031 comments Mod
As an anti-version of this, I saw a little of "Dr. Drew's Life Changers" yesterday as I was flipping chanels. Normally this is, again something I would not watch but I saw a large woman so I stopped.

A teen named Xiomara weighs 417 lbs at 15 years old. She wants to lose the weight and is a fan of a certain weight loss game show. 2 of the women who have competed on the show and lost over 100lbs apiece were on Dr. Drew to cheer her on. The show is providing Xiomara with a dietician, a trainer who has a no gym approach, the help of the two contestants, a 1 year gym membership and a bike to help her over the next year.

I have to say that I thought that this was handled well, except for one comment. Xiomara was saying that no matter what she wears to school she will get made fun of. Like if she wears a red shirt, "Hey it's the Kool-Aid man!" etc. She said that she wants to be a person who is "loved...funny, but not fat funny." To this, Dr. Drew pointed to one of the weight loss contestants and said, "Isn't she beautiful?" Xiomara said "Yes." with the tone of "I want to be beautiful like that."

That breaks my heart. Xiomara is beautiful as she is now and can't see it. Does losing weight make you beautiful? No. Being who you are does and Xiomara wants to lose weight for her health and that is to me, the best and right reason. She is beautiful who she is now and will be even if she loses 200 lbs. She is doing it the right way, but I think she needs to know that she is fine as she is as a person.

message 6: by Kim, Proud Queen of the Fat and Fabulous! (last edited Dec 22, 2011 07:20AM) (new)

Kim (mrsnesbitt) | 1031 comments Mod
According to today's Plain Dealer, Donna Simpson (see first post to this thread) is moving back to her native Akron, OH and has decided to leave the feeder culture and lose weight. So far, she has lost 85 pounds and hopes to join a gym so that she can walk in the pool. She is 5'4" and hopes to get down to 300 lbs. (Mind you,she is currently over 600) She says that she wants to be able to raise her children.

I applaud her and her decision, not because she is losing weight, but because she has decided to leave a dangerous culture among larger people, one that is not talked about, unless it is on some sleazy talk show and then it is sensationalized instead of being seen as the danger it is. Now I am all for letting your freak flag fly and what happens between consenting adults is truly none of my business, unless their activities are endangering me, the community, or someones life.

Feeder culture is just that. Dangerous. It is a form of sado-masochism that exploits 2 things, a fat persons usage of food to soothe themselves and lack of self esteem. Feeders use this to cause a fat person to eat more than is healthy so that they gain more weight, which the feeder finds attractive. Feeders will leave when the desired weight is gained or if the feedee stops over eating. Either way, a person is abandoned over food, and the cycle starts over again.

Simpson said that she made over $1,000 a month from men all over the world who paid $19 a month to watch her eat. One "gentleman" from California got angry when she told him she was going to leave the culture. He had been sending her money for groceries and had even called her a few times to see what she had bought. She said that one man in Germany sent her a credit card with the instructions to buy "pizzas, Chinese food and take out."

Simpson said that she realized that these men, lawyers, accountants, business owners and such,had thin wives at home and their healthy weighted children. They did not need to be with HER or see HER in person, just feed her from a distance. That was when things changed for Simpson. She is on a hard road, one of her own admitted making, and she has a long way to go, but she is trying, and that is noteworthy.

Feeder culture needs to be exposed for the nasty, dirty,disgusting monster it is. It is NOT about the person, it is about the IMAGE and that is dangerous. Finding fat wonderful is a good thing, but forcing someone to eat to unhealthy levels, leaving them when they reach or exceed the "ideal" then, that is wrong. It is abusive behavior, but since the feedee is willing, there is no "victim" to the eyes of society. Until we change how we see, how we are treated by ourselves and others, this ugly little monster will continue to lurk. Light needs to be shed on this and expose it for what it is. An unacceptable treatment of another human being.

message 7: by Kim, Proud Queen of the Fat and Fabulous! (last edited Aug 08, 2012 07:30AM) (new)

Kim (mrsnesbitt) | 1031 comments Mod
I SO need to bloody go back to work! Then I would not be seeing anymore daytime television. My favorite squinty eyed, narrow minded, turd of a television doctor was at it again with large women on his show yesterday (8/7/12 afternoon show) He had women on who are over 400 lbs. who are vying for the largest woman in the world. They say they are happy with who they are and one younger girl (I'd put her in her 20's) says she eats about 4,000 calories a day to maintain her size. She also stated that she does not have any problems with blood pressure, cholesterol, thyroid or diabetes.

Of course, Oz is incredulous that any one could possibly be happy and fat. The four women see themselves as beautiful. They were challenged by 4 other women who are large, 354-400+ range who have been in feeder relationships and are trying to get our of them. The current largest woman in the world, Pauline Potter, spoke via satellite since she cannot leave her home. She is over 700 lbs. and cannot do anything for herself, including getting up off of the couch. She said that when she met her husband, she was at 500, 600 upon marriage and he told her that he didn't care if she gained, but he is not a feeder. She asked "Why would you choose this?" of the women who are vying for her record. She says her title is negative and her biggest fear is not waking up in the morning.

Oz then proceeded to take all 8 women over to real human hearts that have been damaged by obesity (allegedly) and when one did not wish to pick it up, which they were told that they could pick it up if they wished, he gave her a "gentle" hard time about it. Then, he offered help to those who wanted it, but those who didn't were asked to leave, and 2 did. One of the women, was Suzanne Eman who has been on the show before and is mentioned in a previous post, the other who left, was the 20 something. One woman stayed, as she put it,"I"m not saying yes or no. I'm nosy to hear what you have to say."

All the women on the stage, those who wanted help to begin with and those who stayed, all had some kind of major trauma as children. Fathers who died, walked out or chose other families over theirs. The one who was nosy was molested as a child,and her mother knew and did nothing. According to Dr. Ablow, a psychiatrist, "Being fat is like a on a drug. Therefore, being fat makes them happy." He also went on to say that trauma's in our childhood lead to food issues.

I admit that if these women who want help should get it, but if you don't want help, then they should be left alone. If they are truly happy, then leave them be. This group supports healthy lifestyles for larger people and wants the world to see us for what we are, people. For the medical world to understand that genetics is a significant role is body type, that culture plays a role, and medical basis's such as hormones all work together to make us who we are and then some of us are just going to be bigger. I do not openly support people who gain weight to just gain weight, but I do think that if that is what they want to do, then they should be allowed to do so. I do not like to see anyone exploited for this nor do I like the fact that there are those who will use a larger person for erotic gain and then find someone new, leaving an unwitting person in many cases, with many health issues and problems.

Would I have ever chosen to be large on my own? Most likely not. But, by whatever means I am a large person and I have learned to accept that. Am I happy that I have lost weight with swimming, yes, but if I do not lose another pound, I will also be happy. I am who I am and that is all that matters. Being happy with who you are is the most important thing.

Dr. Ablow said that anyone with food issues needs to ask themselves this question," Who in your life told you that you were worthless?"

My answer is this. The media and myself. The media has for years told me that I am worthless because I am not thin. I then told myself that I am worthless because I am different from those around me. My peer group then piled on that.

Am I worthless? No. Are those women who want to be big worthless? No. Are the women who want help worthless? No. Are doctors who only see you as a big person and hopeless worthless? YES! Is a "celebrity" doctor who openly acts disgusted with large women and can not hide his incredulity that big women can be seen as sexy worthless? YES!

WE have worth, WE are better than the sum of our parts, WE are who WE are, and tough nibs to those who don't agree.

message 8: by Kim, Proud Queen of the Fat and Fabulous! (new)

Kim (mrsnesbitt) | 1031 comments Mod
I read a short blurb about a store clerk in Chicago who was beaten severely by a customer who was angry that they did not carry extended size tank tops.

I mean I understand the frustration of not finding clothes in my size, but beating a clerk who has nothing to do with it?

I'm all for a naked in,but this is ridiculous!

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