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Debates > Celibacy vs. Open Sex

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message 1: by Sky (new)

Sky | 182 comments Mod
Debate!


message 2: by luhvBOOKS (new)

luhvBOOKS Celibacy..even though it is soo unreasonable with those crazy junkies out there.


message 3: by Thalia (new)

Thalia (thaliaanderson) Would someone mind defining the two?
I'm mean, I'm sure I could puzzle out what open sex means, but I've no idea what celibacy is. >>


message 4: by Sara (new)

Sara Roethle (saracroethle) can I vote for monogamy?


Ruby~am I a part of the cure? (openupyoureyes) | 105 comments This has got to do with culture and religion and let's not get into a debate like that. They get harsh.


message 6: by Thalia (new)

Thalia (thaliaanderson) And I still don't know what's happening. D:


message 7: by Megan (new)

Megan | 134 comments Thalia wrote: "And I still don't know what's happening. D:"

It's okay, I don't either.. lol


message 8: by Lina (new)

Lina (booksnotlovers) Celibacy refers to a state of being unmarried, or a state of abstention from sexual intercourse or the abstention by vow from marriage.
(wikipedia)


Anyway. Yes to open sex. I mean, you have to try the different kinds before you decide on what to live with all your life.


message 9: by Thalia (new)

Thalia (thaliaanderson) So, does celibacy refer mean that you don't ever plan on having sex OR getting married?

I'd go with Sara on that one then; I don't believe in pre-martial sex, but I definitely don't believe in never getting married.


message 10: by Lina (new)

Lina (booksnotlovers) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Celibacy
I don't know, I think it's never - ever having sex. But I think there are some ways to view it, like you can't have sex with more than one man all your life.
thatwouldkillme


message 11: by Thalia (new)

Thalia (thaliaanderson) Ahhh.


Jasmine | ModernScrolls (modernscrolls) Hmm. This is still kind of confusing, but from what I understand I think I'd go with open sex.


message 13: by Sara (new)

Sara Roethle (saracroethle) Lol as far as I'm concerned celibacy is abstaining from sex. Maybe you've had it before, and aren't doing it for a while, or maybe you never had and want to be celibate until marriage.
I don't believe in being celibate until marriage (unless that's your thing, then more power to you), but open sex to me means casual sex. I think sex in a loving relationship is fine, but casual sex has just never been for me.


message 14: by Megan (new)

Megan | 134 comments Ohhh, I know what it is now. Okay. Well I believe in celibacy, at least for me. Sex should be something special, with the person you plan on being with for the rest of your life. But I know very few people believe in this nowadays.


message 15: by Thalia (new)

Thalia (thaliaanderson) So celibacy is abstinance until marriage?
See, THAT'S what I agree with. I don't believe in sex for fun; I believe in sex to create a family, with (and only with) your spouse.

Call me old fashioned; I call it morals.


message 16: by Brigid ✩ (new)

Brigid ✩ Well, this is an individual choice. I can't say anything's right or wrong for anyone. That is, if someone is practicing abstinence, I'm not going to be like, "YOU. GO HAVE SEX. NOW." People should do what they're comfortable with. If you don't want to have sex until you're married, I'm cool with that.

I personally would never treat sex as a casual thing. I would never "hook up" with anyone. *shudders* However, I wouldn't necessarily postpone it until I'm married. I would do it before marriage if it was in a very serious relationship. But if I had any doubts at all, I wouldn't.

That said, I don't judge people who treat it more casually than I do. It's a very personal choice.


Ruby~am I a part of the cure? (openupyoureyes) | 105 comments Ruby~ForgotAboutTheSunshine wrote: "This has got to do with culture and religion and let's not get into a debate like that. They get harsh."


message 18: by luhvBOOKS (new)

luhvBOOKS Thalia wrote: "Would someone mind defining the two?
I'm mean, I'm sure I could puzzle out what open sex means, but I've no idea what celibacy is. >>"


Celibacy is just another word for abstinence


message 19: by luhvBOOKS (new)

luhvBOOKS Thalia wrote: "So celibacy is abstinance until marriage?
See, THAT'S what I agree with. I don't believe in sex for fun; I believe in sex to create a family, with (and only with) your spouse.

Call me old fashione..."


Then I guess I'm old-fashioned too...Lol


message 20: by Sara (new)

Sara Roethle (saracroethle) ♥ Brigid ♥ {Lion Hearted Girl} wrote: "I'm not going to be like, "YOU. GO HAVE SEX. NOW." "

LOL


message 21: by Brigid ✩ (new)

Brigid ✩ haha X]


message 22: by Picture (new)

Picture  Perfect (picturesperfect) | 34 comments Okay, I'm new to this group and all because I'm partially stalking Brigid (Hi Brigid. It's not my fault you're the first thing on my feed.) to find something new and exciting to do. Debates are pretty exciting. So click went the "Join Group" button.

So...I definitely agree with Brigid straight out. Do what you want with your body really as long as you're comfortable with it. I really don't care what other people do with their bodies as long as they don't come stalking me...in the nude. O_O

But for me, I'll just wait and see. I think that love should come before sex though, in my case. I really don't care if other people just want to get banged one night. I feel more comfortable with love before sex. Heck, I don't even have to have sex. I could freaking become Mother Teresa and rule the world! Muhahahaha. But, that's me. See, do what you feel okay about doing. If you have sex before marriage, okay. You're not committing murder here.

But, you should never, on any occasion, be forced into sex. Then, I would accept in taking part in the act of slapping that ***********************************(THE STARS! THE STARS! WHY WON'T THEY STOP?)


message 23: by Brigid ✩ (new)

Brigid ✩ PICTURE! *tackle hugs* I'm so happy you joined this group! :D

Haha I just love the way you say ... everything. You are so funny and intelligent at the same time. :D


message 24: by Picture (new)

Picture  Perfect (picturesperfect) | 34 comments ♥ Brigid ♥ {Lion Hearted Girl} wrote: "PICTURE! *tackle hugs* I'm so happy you joined this group! :D

Haha I just love the way you say ... everything. You are so funny and intelligent at the same time. :D"


*bows*


message 25: by Thalia (new)

Thalia (thaliaanderson) You definitely make conversation more interesting. x)

Yeah, people can do whatever the heck they want with their bodies. But I mean, I just find some sort of comfort in the fact that a person wants to marry me and spend the rest of their life with me, before having sex. There are too many cases of "take the virginity and run", so even if I didn't have my particular moral beliefs, I don't know why you'd want that anyway. But eh, that's just me. I like the safety net. x)


message 26: by luhvBOOKS (new)

luhvBOOKS XD Lol, Picture.

I agree with Thalia. Sex isn't love until marriage has bond you together.


message 27: by Brigid ✩ (new)

Brigid ✩ I fail to see what difference it makes. People get married because they're in love. Getting married doesn't make you more in love with each other, it just means that you said "I do." Obviously, people are in love before they get married. If they weren't, they wouldn't get married in the first place. So you're saying that if a couple has sex before they get married, they're not in love ... ?


message 28: by Chloe (new)

Chloe (chloebooklover) | 5 comments Just joined this group, but liking the debates a lot!

Anyway...
I believe that whether you are married, engaged, dating, or whatever, as long as both you and your partner both feel ready, then it's your decision. What difference does it make if you have a ring on your finger or not?

Some people choose never to get married, but they live together as if they are - technically they are not married - does that mean they should abstain too?


message 29: by Brigid ✩ (new)

Brigid ✩ I agree, Chloe!


message 30: by Thalia (new)

Thalia (thaliaanderson) Brigid: The difference is that before you take that part of someone, you've committed yourself to them for life. You've promised to love them and ONLY them. There's no chance for a quick breakup, no chance to take the sex and run, like what happens to a LOT of teenage girls. No chance that you might accidentally get pregnant and your boyfriend won't help you take care of the baby. Marriage is a big responsibility, and you should be willing to take that on your shoulders if you love someone enough to have sex with them.


message 31: by Brigid ✩ (new)

Brigid ✩ Thalia wrote: "Brigid: The difference is that before you take that part of someone, you've committed yourself to them for life. You've promised to love them and ONLY them. There's no chance for a quick breakup, n..."

50% of first marriages in this country end in divorce, so I don't think marriage necessarily says much about devotion. It really depends on the couple. An unmarried couple could be more dedicated to each other than another, married couple. It varies case by case, so I don't think it makes sense to say that married couples are automatically more in love with each other.

Mind you, I'm not saying that I think teenagers should go around having sex without knowing what they're doing. But I also hate how teenage girls who have sex are automatically labeled as sluts, when people might not know anything about them or their relationship.


message 32: by Thalia (new)

Thalia (thaliaanderson) It's more the fact that they were willing to make that committment in the first place. If you truly love someone and don't want to be with anyone else, what's stopping you from getting married?

I think sluts are more girls who sleep around.


message 33: by Brigid ✩ (new)

Brigid ✩ Just because you have sex before you're married doesn't mean you're not going to get married to each other at all. And yes, in an ideal world, marriage would be about eternal commitment, but a lot of people don't take it that seriously. That's why the divorce rate is so high.

True, "slut" refers more to girls who sleep around. But I feel like guys who sleep around get more support from their peers, like, "YOU GO MANNNN!" And girls get so catty when they hear another girl has had sex. Of course, this is kind of off-topic... XD


message 34: by Thalia (new)

Thalia (thaliaanderson) No, it doesn't. But for me, it's more security, like, "Okay, this guy isn't going to just up and leave me after he gets what he wants".

That, and my belief that you just shouldn't have sex before you're married, stemmed from my Mormon-osity.


message 35: by Picture (new)

Picture  Perfect (picturesperfect) | 34 comments Hmm....time to put my 2 cents in this debate. *inserts two pennies*

Okay, what if you marry this guy but find out he's really bad in bed? Just a thought...

Oh dear god, I'm shallow. This whole time you guys were having a very professional debate, and then I think and end up ruining this.

*shakes head* I think that love should be more of the emotional thing than physical thing. If you only marry someone to get in his or her pants, then that surely says something about your devotion or perhaps CREEPINESS.

I think marriage is just putting the seal on the envelope really. I'm not saying that all couples are so deeply in love with each other that they never will break apart.

I think celibacy should apply to guys too to tell you the truth. So...who the hell let women wear the freaking chastity belt while men just winging their willy wonkas all over in the air.

Now, now, I'm not saying all men are freaking Bill Clintons here. I'm just saying that I'm all for equality.

I just think celibacy should be a decision and not a "thou must not sleep with man" type thing.

Think of it this way. If you got this new book, but you never read it and keep it locked away. I mean, it's bound to get dusty.

*bangs head on floor* *bangs head on floor*

Mind me please. That should not have had any sexual references in any way. Man, I have to stop listening to comedy on Pandora.

Now, I'm not saying teenage girls should go out and bang the next guy they see. No, it's nothing like that. I just think that, going with weird book analogy, maybe you'll find something new about yourself and learn something from that book. Okay, let's refer to this book as life. Life's all about making mistakes and learning from them. Sure, you don't want to get hurt. But does that mean you should hide away from yourself and others because you're scared of what you'll find?

What's wrong with me? Am I talking about love or sex? I don't get it. Why do I even comment in these debates? I don't even know what I'm saying.

I only meant to write a paragraph...

Anyway, I'm just trying to say that celibacy should be a decision. I think I said this before too. Oh come on, I thought for nothing...

And I wish celibacy was mutual because boy, is this world overpopulated? We're just waiting for a massive nuclear war, now are we?

*bangs head* *bangs head*

At least, I'm not banging Milo Ventimiglia even though I want to...figuratively speaking. Who's this Milo anyway? Nonsense, even though I come up with the best random names.


message 36: by Brigid ✩ (new)

Brigid ✩ Picture wrote: "Hmm....time to put my 2 cents in this debate. *inserts two pennies*

Okay, what if you marry this guy but find out he's really bad in bed? Just a thought...

Oh dear god, I'm shallow. This whole ti..."


LOL. You make me laugh so hard.

"So...who the hell let women wear the freaking chastity belt while men just winging their willy wonkas all over in the air."

*Extreme laughing fit*

Weirdly enough, I think you have a good point though. I mean, it would kind of suck to have sex on your wedding night only to discover that your newlywed was really ... awful. Not that marriage should be based on whether or not your spouse is good in bed, but at least if you do it beforehand you have time to ... practice. *headsmack*

And I don't blame you. Milo Ventimiglia is sexalicious. O_o .... I don't know where that word just came from.


message 37: by Thalia (new)

Thalia (thaliaanderson) Well, I don't think whether they're "good in bed" should have anything to do with your lasting relationship. As my personal point view, sex isn't for pleasure and nothing else; it's how to create a family and have kids, which is why (I think) we get into relationships in the first place. And I think I'm gonna be happy on my wedding night if I don't have sex at all. That's not what determines the relationship.

But celibacy is a choice. I can't want to outlaw sex before marriage or anything, but it is my moral opinion.


message 38: by Sherry (new)

Sherry (sdmccarty) I agree that celibacy is a choice. For both men and women. I know people (both men and women) who are in their upper 20's and still haven't done it. It's their choice. Good on them.

But, I think the first time should be with someone you like who won't disappear the next day. Granted, that won't happen for everyone, but I think that would be the best choice.

However, protection should always be used unless you have the expressed goal of child creation. A good few people I know have become with child and then had to marry and ended up not being so happy with that arrangement...


message 39: by Picture (new)

Picture  Perfect (picturesperfect) | 34 comments Thalia wrote: "Well, I don't think whether they're "good in bed" should have anything to do with your lasting relationship. As my personal point view, sex isn't for pleasure and nothing else; it's how to create a..."

I don't know how to put this to you. But if you tell a guy that sex is only for making families, it's like telling him you accidentally cut off his "willy wonka" and fed it to the neighborhood dog. Sure, sex is for making families. Got that. But sex is also for earnest physical love. Unless you're going to have a bazillion kids, I'm not sure the sex life of the two individuals is going to work out. In order to have a stable relationship, sex life is kind of necessary...in a marriage. I'm talking about in a marriage. So...yeah.


message 40: by Thalia (new)

Thalia (thaliaanderson) No, no, I understand that. I'm just saying that it's not the entire point of a relationship. It's not what your relationship centers around. If your hubby isn't good in bed, it's not going to destroy your relationship. Maybe it's just because I'm more of an emotional person than physical. I, personally, don't feel like I need to have good sex with my husband to feel like he loves me. You know?


message 41: by Sherry (new)

Sherry (sdmccarty) The way a woman's body is made, there is actually a higher chance that the sex will be good if the woman likes/loves the other person. It's biological and used to make babies, but I shaln't go into details. That, however, doesn't mean that there isn't a chance it'll be bad. If you can't feel it, it isn't exactly going to be good times all around...

Sex shouldn't be the entire point of a relationship, but it is an important part.


message 42: by Picture (new)

Picture  Perfect (picturesperfect) | 34 comments ♥ Brigid ♥ {Lion Hearted Girl} wrote: "Picture wrote: "Hmm....time to put my 2 cents in this debate. *inserts two pennies*

Okay, what if you marry this guy but find out he's really bad in bed? Just a thought...

Oh dear god, I'm shall..."


Yeah, Brigid, we can awkwardly express our views together. Wait, I think it's just me.

Milo Ventimiglia is the stuff, man. Wait, did you watch Heroes then? Heh...random.


message 43: by Picture (new)

Picture  Perfect (picturesperfect) | 34 comments Thalia wrote: "No, no, I understand that. I'm just saying that it's not the entire point of a relationship. It's not what your relationship centers around. If your hubby isn't good in bed, it's not going to destr..."

Of course, sex isn't everything in a relationship. But what if it was the other way around? What if your husband starts to not like you because of it? Well, maybe he still likes you, but he goes around banging secretaries every minute you don't look.


Okay, scratch that. Blah. I don't know what I'm saying. Truthfully, I kind of agree with you. I'm just joking with what I said in the previous paragraph. Celibacy. Sex before marriage. Both are the choices of the people. Whoa, I almost said ding-dongers. Sorry, I'm just having one of those weird, random days.


message 44: by Thalia (new)

Thalia (thaliaanderson) If my husband is going to bang everyone he sees because I'm not good at sex, he wasn't worth marrying in the first place!

You ask the greatest questions. x)


MK Scotty(",)*i eat zombies* O_O yum | 120 comments I believe in Celibacy, not only cuz of religion and stuff...but it's also less of a chance of spreading STDs....


message 46: by Megan (new)

Megan | 134 comments Magic-Katty *i eat zombies* O_O yum wrote: "I believe in Celibacy, not only cuz of religion and stuff...but it's also less of a chance of spreading STDs...."

Yes. That is a very good point.


message 47: by Savita (new)

Savita (haltranger) | 417 comments Abstinence.
It's my culture, how I'm going to live my life, and it just seems healthier.


message 48: by luhvBOOKS (new)

luhvBOOKS Isn't abstinence celibacy? Whats the difference, if there is any?


message 49: by Savita (new)

Savita (haltranger) | 417 comments I'm pretty sure that celibacy is no sex, ever.


message 50: by KB (new)

KB Love is our weapon (kaitybugs) | 124 comments I believe that teachers should promote no sex until your married but prepare you if you will have sex to have safe sex.

I'm not having sex before marriage but that's just a personal choice.


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