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Weekly Poetry Stuffage > Week 88- (July 14th-21st) Poems --- Topic: Home DONE!

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message 1: by M (new)

M | 11351 comments Homestead

Lonely house on the knoll under autumn stars
that keep watch in the orchard for my late return,
youthful was she who died with chills,
musk of her titian hair haunting the rare dewfalls.

A parched summer burned out in silences of shade,
a slow drifting of pine needles.
We slung tackle and dug the well,
our mud-caked hands hoisting the punch.

Boards warp and darken. Time grows thin
till by a cypress moon I track the mapless miles
to the dirt drive, the knoll, where she waits,
in some scorching noon, near the high pine.


message 2: by Jessica (new)

Jessica (eyrer) That's a lovely poem, M. I really like "musk of her titian hair haunting the rare dewfalls" and "mapless miles."

Sense of Rose
by Jessica

The particular sense of rose
Lingers still the surface doors
Within the Christmas wreath we chose
Lined with chalk its brief contour,

We traveled. Least the travelers
Grown more the wanderers
Not able to understand the will
Of our weary footsteps’ fall.

How short our time away from here
Evolved to something less foreign,
Yet desperate we hold to godly fear
Lest infidelity to pour in

Our particular sense of rose.
So far have we crept from soil
To homes we had never chose
Self-burdened with lives to toil

Always running

From a home as houses go.


message 3: by M (new)

M | 11351 comments Thank you, Jessica.

The writing in "Sense of Rose" is wonderful! It's colorful and sophisticated. I like the rhyme of foreign and pour in.


message 4: by Kristen (new)

Kristen Marincic Hiestermann | 519 comments I hate how goodreads always messes up the formatting too...


message 5: by M (new)

M | 11351 comments Alex, this is your blackest yet! Very effective. (I wonder what your teacher would have thought.)

Do you mean "knees bear" or "knees bare"?


message 6: by Will (new)

Will Granger Why

How can this land succumb to war?
What will result from all this strife?
Why have we turned from song to roar?

This foolish fighting leads to gore
and makes the hero lose his life.
How can this land succumb to war?

I should have tried to block the door.
That was my duty as his wife.
Why have we turned from song to roar?

A happy life I'll have no more.
Of misery, this world is rife.
How can this land succumb to war?

No father for my sweet babe nor
safety from warlike drum and fife.
Why have we turned from song to roar?

In pain I drop down to the floor.
My world destroyed by bow and knife.
How can this land succumb to war?
Why have we turned from song to roar?


message 7: by Will (new)

Will Granger Very nice work Al. I like the effect you created with the words ending with -ing in the middle.


message 8: by Kristen (new)

Kristen Marincic Hiestermann | 519 comments love the repetition Will :)


message 9: by M (new)

M | 11351 comments Stark images in a tight villanelle in tetrameter! Will, I have a feeling you've had some practice at this.


message 10: by Kristen (new)

Kristen Marincic Hiestermann | 519 comments alright, finally got bored enough to start writing again, lol. No, I enjoy writing, just haven't had much inspiration and/or time lately I guess. I don't think this is particularly well written, but just kinda what came to mind. Hopefully it's a little thought-provoking...

Where is Home?

Where is home?
Is it this out dated,
worn out,
college campus
apartment
that I live in temporarily?
Where they force me
to move multiple times
throughout my years of schooling?

Is home my house
back in my hometown
where my mother
and sister live?
Where I stay
for a week or so
on holiday breaks?
Where I watched
my father die from cancer
on a hospital bed
in our living room?

They say
home is where
the heart is, so
maybe the dance studio
is home?
Is home the place
where I hone
my skills
and passion
for my art form?
Where I spend
hours of my time
and more money than I earn
to pursue my ideal lifestyle?

Or is home
all the places
where good memories came from,
where family and friends were
along with joy, laughter,
sorrow, and hope?
Is home the
conglomeration of
locations filled with
love and comfort?

Well, in fact,
each of these may be
home
for an hour,
a week,
a year,
a lifetime.
But only one place is
indefinitely,
eternally,
infinitely,
and forever
home.
Heaven is my home,
where is yours?


message 11: by Will (new)

Will Granger Kristen wrote: "love the repetition Will :)"

Will wrote: "Very nice work Al. I like the effect you created with the words ending with -ing in the middle."

Thanks Kristen! I wrote the poem to go along with my books Anabar's Run and Anabar Rises and posted it on my blog: http://anabarseries.blogspot.com/

I wrote it as if it was written by a character named Marabel, who is the mother of my protagonist Anabar.


message 12: by Will (new)

Will Granger Alex (Reader, Writer, and All Smiles) wrote: "Thanks, Will. Yours is great!"

Thanks Alex!


message 13: by Will (new)

Will Granger M wrote: "Stark images in a tight villanelle in tetrameter! Will, I have a feeling you've had some practice at this."

Thanks M,

I had always wanted to try a villanelle. I think working the rhymes in was a bit more difficult than the tetrameter.


message 14: by Kimathy (new)

Kimathy Title: Home
By: Kimmy

I have never owned.
Never belonged there. Ever.
Will I now? Maybe.


message 15: by Kristen (new)

Kristen Marincic Hiestermann | 519 comments thanks Al :)


message 16: by M (new)

M | 11351 comments Nice, Kimmy! Some people would describe it as minimalist. It's the hardest kind of writing to do.


message 17: by Kimathy (new)

Kimathy Haha, I couldn't think of what to do. When in doubt, do a haiku I always say! :]


message 18: by Stephanie (new)

Stephanie (chasmofbooks) | 2875 comments There were quite a few entries this week! Here's the poll, guys: http://www.goodreads.com/poll/show/51...


message 19: by Guy (last edited Jul 22, 2011 08:16PM) (new)

Guy (egajd) | 11107 comments Alex wrote: "Grrrrr....stupid goodreads didn't keep my formatting."

Alex (for when you get back) and for other's looking for formatting amelioration. Use the 'non-breaking space' html code: &n_b_s_p; (without the '_'s) — the ampersand to open and the semi-colon to close are required.

So, I hope you don't mind, here is your poem 'formatted' using the non-breaking space:
He left her in the black.
     Knees bear beneath.           [5 non-br-sps]
          The marble stone so cold.           [10 non-br-sps)
               Leaving ripples of chills.           [20 non-br-sps]
                    Reaching for a relief.           [25 non-br-sps - etc]
Finding nothing but a pain.
     Grasping nothing but air.
          Raining nothing but tears.
          Memories of how he loved.
                         They find her in the dark.
                              Home
                                   and
                                        joy
                                             
                                                       d i  s   a     p     p      e       a        r         e          d           .
He left her in the black.
     She took her last breath.
                                                                              And
                                                                   so
                                                 she
                        returned
home.
I find when I want to provide special formatting to a poem, such as this quite lovely one, it is easiest to use a plain text editor to type the code, then to paste and preview it in the comment window until the format is as you want it.

First, I clicked on the 'reply' link.

Now for the explanation:
I began the process by copying the quoted text in into a plain text editor, such as Windows Notepad and Mac's TextEdit. Then I add the 'blockquote' opening and closing code, which automatically creates the indent and line break between the poem and text before and after the quoted poem.

Then I copy and paste (or type) the text (or, in this case, Alex's poem). Now the tricky bit: I type the non-br-sp code then copy it. Now it is simply a matter of pasting it in all the bits within which I want to create space and as many times as necessary to create the spacing I want.

Once I think I've got it the way I want — and some experience will make this easier with time, I highlight the entire thing and copy and paste it the Goodreads reply window. Preview it, and then re-edit until the preview meets my formating wants. This post was created that why — as are all of my extended comments.


message 20: by Guy (new)

Guy (egajd) | 11107 comments People, this was a particularly excellent week of suffrage. I enjoyed all the entries very much. (And I like the haiku thing too.)
I sit in this chair
At home, some would like to think,
But in truth am not.



message 21: by Guy (new)

Guy (egajd) | 11107 comments Jessica wrote: "That's a lovely poem, M. I really like "musk of her titian hair haunting the rare dewfalls" and "mapless miles."

Sense of Rose
by Jessica

The particular sense of rose
Lingers still the surface do..."

In a collection of excellent poems, this is even better. Well done. As M wrote, sophisticated writing. This beautifully expressed complex feelings and human ambivalence with powerful imagery and simple eloquence. The rhyming was so natural that I didn't actually notice it until I read M's comment! Truly excellent.


message 22: by Katrina (new)

Katrina Knight (KatrinaKnight) i am so sad i missed this week. i actually had a poem ready but was away and unable to post it. gah. oh well.


message 23: by Caitlan (new)

Caitlan (lionesserampant) | 2869 comments Guy wrote: "Alex wrote: "Grrrrr....stupid goodreads didn't keep my formatting."

Alex (for when you get back) and for other's looking for formatting amelioration. Use the 'non-breaking space' html code: &n_b_..."


can you explain this in english plz?? lol


message 24: by M (new)

M | 11351 comments Kristen, your poem is poignant! I hadn't intended to take so long getting back to this thread.


message 25: by Kristen (new)

Kristen Marincic Hiestermann | 519 comments thanks M!


message 26: by Jessica (last edited Jul 23, 2011 10:18AM) (new)

Jessica (eyrer) Guy wrote: "In a collection of excellent poems, this is even better. Well done. As M wrote, sophisticated writing. This beautifully expressed complex feelings and human ambivalence..."

Oh, thank you so much! All this positive feedback is making me lightheaded. :)


message 27: by [deleted user] (new)

Thanks Guy! I know that was for alex, but it helped me too :P

Kat wrote: "Guy wrote: "Alex wrote: "Grrrrr....stupid goodreads didn't keep my formatting."

Alex (for when you get back) and for other's looking for formatting amelioration. Use the 'non-breaking space' ht..."


the comment box is open to some html. if you click on the (some html is ok) button, a page will open up showing you some simple html commands that work for this box. Guy was simple introducing us to another one :P


message 28: by Guy (new)

Guy (egajd) | 11107 comments Kat wrote: "...can you explain this in english plz?? lol ...

And:
Avree wrote: "... a page will open up showing you some simple html commands that work for this box. Guy was simply introducing us to another one :P "

Kat, I'll try.

Avree, "YES!" Have you tried it yet? And there is another way, too, which may be easier to do.

Kat, in plain English, it would be best to learn this by doing it. So, copy the following poem out of this comment box into your favourite word processor. (I prefer a plain text editor, but fancy one's will do.)


This
Is
A
Short
P o e m.
C h e e s y
Poesy
At
Its
Worst.



In the editor, use instead of to format the text to look like:
This
         Is
             A
                Short
                          P  o      e            m.
                         C  h        e           e                  s                        y
                Poesy
             At
         Its
Worst.
Now, use the features in your editor, to replace all the DOUBLE spaces with four non-breaking space codes: &_n_b_s_p_; without the 'underscore' and without any spaces. Both the 'ampersand' and final 'semicolon' are required. (I can't just show you what to type, because it becomes a space that you don't see!)

It will look like a mess!

Now highlight and copy the transmogrified, and quite hard to read, text into the comment field and then click on . If you want to make additional edits, do so — but do them in the text editor and -- until it looks the way you want it. Note: by using a 'proper' text editor you can do these re-edits using all the search and replace tools such an editor offers.

Good luck and have formatting fun.


message 29: by M (last edited Jul 24, 2011 04:12AM) (new)

M | 11351 comments Indenting the first line of a paragraph is essential in writing stories. I wonder why there isn't a simple html code for the standard tab stop (five spaces)?


message 30: by Stephanie (last edited Jul 26, 2011 08:05AM) (new)

Stephanie (chasmofbooks) | 2875 comments Well it seems we have a tie this week!

M, Jessica, and Will all tied at first place.
Al and Kristen tied at second place.
And Kimathy came in last.

Congratulations guys and thank you for your participation.


message 31: by Guy (new)

Guy (egajd) | 11107 comments M. I took a look into the HTML code book, and there is a method of doing that. Unfortunately the html code is more elaborate than what is supported within the Goodreads comment field.

However to increase the ease of creating formatted text I've created a plain text document that contains my commonly used codes. So whenever I'm creating formatted entries I open it and with simple copy and pastes I quickly format my entries.


message 32: by M (new)

M | 11351 comments That makes sense. My old word processor didn't have apostrophes, quotation marks, or dashes (among other things). I had a list of ALT codes and their symbols, and a set of punctuation marks I copied and pasted from document to document. Even with its shortcomings, the old word processor was easier and more practical to use than Microsoft Word 2007.


message 33: by Guy (new)

Guy (egajd) | 11107 comments MS Word was never a great word processor, but has now become one of the best example of software bloat and a complete lack of functionality. When I compare my processing speeds between my old work horse WordPerfect5.1 for DOS and today's word, I compose even simple letters at about a quarter of the speed.

But I have left all word processors because of the interactivity of text between e.mails of various sorts, 'proper' word processors and creating html encoded text. Plain text is the most efficient way to create simple documents. Curious.


message 34: by M (new)

M | 11351 comments Nothing curious about it. In external things, simpler is often better, just the opposite of the situation with the mind.


message 35: by M (new)

M | 11351 comments I won?


message 36: by Guy (last edited Jul 31, 2011 07:06AM) (new)

Guy (egajd) | 11107 comments Alex wrote: "Guy wrote: "Alex wrote: "Grrrrr....stupid goodreads didn't keep my formatting."

Alex (for when you get back) and for other's looking for formatting amelioration. Use the 'non-breaking space' html..."

So, Alex, are we going to get to see your poem formatted the way you had experimented?! Also, when I reviewed my notes, I forgot to include the html code for creates its version of an indented ENTRY
type, without the "_" (underscore)<_blockquote>indented
lines
will show here,
even
if
they are comprised of one word sentences<_/blockquote>

and you will get:
indented
lines
will show here,
even
if
they are comprised of one word sentences
Note: the 'blockquote' html command adds a line space before the first and after the last lines automatically.

Again, I use a text editor and instead of typing "<_blockquote>" "<_/blockquote>", I type "bq" "/bq" and then use find/replace in two steps: first replace "/bq" with <_/blockquote> and then "bq" with <_blockquote> without the "_" of course.

And congratulations to the winners. Thanks for an excellent week of suffrage!


message 37: by Guy (last edited Jul 31, 2011 08:58PM) (new)

Guy (egajd) | 11107 comments The indenting in Word is BIG relatively to what is happening in these comment spaces. Use LOTS of NBSPs to get it 'spacier' - far more than you will think necessary. If you go back to my original formatting of your poem, I've listed the number of NBSPs I've added for the first few lines in order to give you a sense of how many are required. Line 5 has 25 NBSPs! But I can see you are well on your way — well done!

And give the BLOCKQUOTE command a try too! (And they can be stacked.)

And still a nice poem.


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