Weekly Short Stories Contest and Company! discussion

Weekly Poetry Stuffage > Week 87- (July 6th-13th) Poems --- Topic: Letting Go DONE!

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message 1: by M (last edited Jul 07, 2011 06:48AM) (new)

M | 11075 comments Al, your poem does a good job of conveying the sense of loss, and I almost get the feeling of being up there among the clouds.

I never liked school. I loved summers. Even when I was in college, I looked forward to summers and had a hard time letting go them when they were over.

The Shawl of Autumn

Listen to the rain that falls
on pool umbrellas, and the crash
of thunder as the lightning crawls
across the sky and swimmers dash
to cover, as if in surprise,
to watch the downpour, the steam rise.

Waves roll with a lazy motion,
shimmering through languid days
of your hands rubbing sun lotion
on legs that have lissome ways,
your lips parted, your tongue clever.
White sand stretches on forever.

Listen to the rain that falls
on umbrellas of autumn streets,
on jaundiced leaves and ivied walls
as day to dripping dusk retreats
and leads you to an upstairs room,
your soul hung with to a sudden gloom.
Drop your schoolbooks on the chair
and gaze out at the daylight wan.
Shake rain from your sun-blanched hair,
and put the shawl of autumn on.

message 2: by Kristen (new)

Kristen Marincic Hiestermann | 519 comments very nice M, although Fall is my favorite season so it is hard for me to see how this is meant to be solemn. Nevertheless, it was effective :)

message 3: by M (new)

M | 11075 comments Thanks, Kristen and Alex! It's a revision of a poem I wrote when I was young enough to think that twenty years old was no longer young. My attempts at solemnity were unsuccessful. Worse, they sometimes had an unintentional and regrettable element of hilarity. Something I love about this group is that I can post poems I once poured my soul into.

message 4: by Stephanie (new)

Stephanie (chasmofbooks) | 2875 comments Ah, it's good to be back from camp. Nice poem, Alex. And you too, M.

message 5: by mic (last edited Jul 12, 2011 05:26AM) (new)

mic | 82 comments On the words "down," I tried to mimic a swaying motion, which (surprise, surprise) is tricky with goodreads formatting, so just use a little imagination :)

and They are

He looks out over the dark water
features falling into confusion.
Something’s missing.
An invisible fishing hook snags his stomach,
tugging, nagging
the fisherman reeling him in toward the waves.
Where is she—
the shore? the sandbar?
He’d only turned away for a moment…

While below she sighs her last breath
as the water pulls her swaying down



He dives under the water,
stinging eyes yearning for a wisp of blonde hair
a delicate hand
a rosy lip turned purple below closed eyes.
His mind projects her on every movement,
creating phantoms.
A tingle shoots up his body.
He looks down…

Water rushing, streaming,
the disc grows brighter above,
illuminating the watery dusk.
Heads break surface,
his body pumping toward the shore
with her wrapped in his arms.
He takes her hand,
and they are inseparable.
“I’ve got you now,
and I won’t let go ever again.”

message 6: by mic (last edited Jul 12, 2011 05:28AM) (new)

mic | 82 comments And then this poem is just for fun, not for contest. I wrote it a year or two ago and I thought it went with the theme. Enjoy :)


just lie back
and relax
don’t be afraid
to slip through cracks

let body melt
upon the sand
each atom sink
to Wonderland

message 7: by Kristen (new)

Kristen Marincic Hiestermann | 519 comments I love both of them Mic! nice to see your writing again :) I really should get back to it myself...

message 8: by M (last edited Jul 12, 2011 05:17PM) (new)

M | 11075 comments Mic, you know how to make images come alive! Nice writing.

Al, you mean you're not going to get up at the break of dawn to put up the polls?

message 9: by Hanzleberry (new)

Hanzleberry (doughboyissweet) | 1065 comments I enjoyed both of them, my Micsta! But, I happen to like the second one the best! :D

message 10: by Kristen (new)

Kristen Marincic Hiestermann | 519 comments The first one definitely shows a lot of literary skill, but the second one is fun :)

message 11: by Guy (new)

Guy (egajd) | 11106 comments All good! Reading them was a nice way to start this rain filled morning and push away for a few minutes the work that pays my bills.

message 12: by Stephanie (new)

Stephanie (chasmofbooks) | 2875 comments The Results:

1st Mic

2nd M
3rd Al

Congrats, Mic.

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