This is not The Haters Club You're Looking For discussion

Love and Marriage

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message 1: by Rusty (last edited Jul 04, 2011 11:11AM) (new)

Rusty (rustyshackleford) | 2198 comments I will preface what I'm about to say by admitting that I haven't discussed this with anyone before. But of course I enjoy the benefit of anonymity here, so what can it hurt? I assume this is common, but I don't know. Did anyone else spend the first six months or more of marriage hating their spouse?

On any given day, I expected her to divorce me or kill me, because absolutely nothing I did was right. Apparently I didn't even fold towels correctly. And of course, I kept wondering at what point I was justified in committing her. Because, you know, broads are ratshit crazy. I grew up with three of them (and thus, lived with three of them) but being married to one is a whole different ballgame.

Twelve years down the road I think our relationship is actually healthier than most, but for that first little while..................

message 2: by The Crimson Fucker (last edited Jul 04, 2011 11:45AM) (new)

The Crimson Fucker (tcf123) | -3 comments Are you trying to scare me????

message 3: by Rusty (new)

Rusty (rustyshackleford) | 2198 comments You just got me thinking. My experience might be unique, but you should be aware that it's a huge transition.

message 4: by smetchie (last edited Jul 04, 2011 01:15PM) (new)

smetchie | 5731 comments Yes. For me, yes. And I'm glad to know I'm not the only one.

Let me preface this by saying I adore my husband and I love being married. I am a big supporter of marriage. I have a huge amount of respect for the concept in general and those who take it seriously. (And I'm not just saying that because I don't have anonymity here either. Anyone who knows me can tell you it's the truth.)

Having said that, the first year of my marriage was really hard. I think it may have been the most difficult year of our relationship. And we lived together for 6 years prior to getting married so it wasn't like an adjustment period or something. I think it's getting smacked with the realization that it's forever. I mean FOREVER. There are very few things you do in life that are honest to God going to be forever, forever like for real until the day you die. Cars? Ten to Fifteen years tops if you're even the type to keep them that long. A house: probably not going to be in one house forever. Pets: you'll outlive them. Kids: sure you'll always be a parent but they will grow up and move out on their own one day. When you marry someone you're saying that you will live with them in close proximity for the rest of your time on earth. There will never come a moment when you are not married to them until one of you dies. So you'd better hope to hell you like them, respect them, find them REAL motherfucking amusing and are willing to bet on them changing and growing with you instead of having some pathetic midlife crises and deciding they need to nail a bunch of strange, or adopt 7 babies at the age of 40 or live in a big smelly city with a crap-ass school system and no nice pools because of some dumb job or [you know just insert some really fucked up shit you weren't expecting and can't live with because those are just some of mine and they might sound great to others.]

In short, marriage is not for pussies.

The Crimson Fucker (tcf123) | -3 comments Ok... ima stop reading this thread! Y'all scaring the shit out me!

The Crimson Fucker (tcf123) | -3 comments Dear jesus christ! I knew there was a reason why I didn't wanted to mention this here! Y'all making marriage sound like a freaking death sentence!

message 7: by smetchie (new)

smetchie | 5731 comments Alfonso wrote: "Dear jesus christ! I knew there was a reason why I didn't wanted to mention this here! Y'all making marriage sound like a freaking death sentence!"

No no no. It's wonderful! (If you marry the right person.)

Besides! We're not living in the dark ages. You can always get divorced.

message 8: by Megan (new)

Megan I've been married 5 years (almost) and our first year wasn't too bad. We lived together before we got married and shared bank accounts, etc. , so it wasn't that big of an adjustment. At my church we had to do premarital counseling before you got married and the pastor was always trying to ask us trick questions like "If you could change one thing about him, what would it be?" I said I know what I'm getting, the good and the bad, he isn't miraculously going to know how to fold a towel without making it crooked and pissing me off, I know what I'm getting myself into. Yeah Right! I was so naive....

Plus we had a child within our first year, so our top priority went to the baby, not our marriage. Now our biggest struggle is trying to adjust throughout the years, because you and your partner both change. Different interests and hobbies, so its important to adjust. We still ocassionally want to kill eachother. Like I tell him " You're an ass, but you're my ass, and I love you." I'm romantic like that.

message 9: by Rusty (new)

Rusty (rustyshackleford) | 2198 comments Marriage definitely kicks the ass of single life. But you have to work at it. It's like a treadmill - if you ever feel like you can just take a breather, stop moving forward, and coast through the relationship, you will end up on your ass.

Servius  Heiner My marriage has been pretty good. Despite brief moments of breeder envy on the wife's part we don't complain much... Well I don't have much to complain about. I have no fucking idea why she sticks around.

message 11: by Harry (new)

Harry  (Harry_Harry) Going on 11 years of bliss, but I'm no pussy. Well 10 years, because apparently the first year was rough.

message 12: by Monkey (new)

Monkey (reydemono) At the altar, I said "I do" and my sweet and bashful bride turned to me and said "I must break you"

From that moment on, my life has been nothing but terror.

It's goddam hell Alfonso, get out while you can.

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