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Feeling Nostalgic? The archives > Story time!!!!!!!!!

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message 1: by Lizzy (new)

Lizzy | 129 comments It all started on a sunday. . . (People can add on what they want and where ever the story goes is where it goes, let the tale commense!)

message 2: by RandomAnthony (new)

RandomAnthony | 14536 comments A naked man ran through the library.

message 3: by Angel (new)

Angel Martinez (angelmartinez) | 30 comments He carried an avocado and a spatula.

message 4: by Lizzy (last edited Jun 30, 2011 03:35PM) (new)

Lizzy | 129 comments Then an old lady took a baseball bat out of her bag, aiming at the man.

message 5: by Louise (new)

Louise He was carrying a book in each hand, small leatherbound volumes, and shouting for everyone to get out of the way, NOW!

message 6: by RandomAnthony (last edited Jun 30, 2011 04:51PM) (new)

RandomAnthony | 14536 comments The librarian quickly looked through the library rule book to find out if clothes were necessary in the library. She was also very impressed with the Randolph's ability to carry so many items at once.

message 7: by Lobstergirl, el principe (new)

Lobstergirl | 24317 comments Mod
The library rule book explained: "Nudity not permitted except during the summer session, or if offender's package is extremely large and/or crispy." She ordered Randolph to halt so she could inspect his package, and reached for the ruler in her cardigan pocket.

message 8: by RandomAnthony (new)

RandomAnthony | 14536 comments Randolph said, "Remember, the air conditioning is here is strong, so your data might be skewed negatively." The librarian rolled her eyes and ordered him to put on shorts made out of an NPR tote bag. Then he left, taking his books and dog, but leaving his avocado and spatula.

"What can I do with these?" said the librarian.

message 9: by Michael (last edited Jul 01, 2011 09:54AM) (new)

Michael "I'll take them," giggled Rachael Ray. "I have a super recipe for avacadoes avocados that is absolutely delish!"

message 10: by ~Geektastic~ (new)

 ~Geektastic~ (atroskity) | 3207 comments Startled and annoyed by the sudden appearance of a giggling chef and still irritated by the naked juggler, the librarian held the spatula in one hand and pulled it back like a catapult, launching the avocado into the sunny brunette's face with concussive force.

message 11: by Janice (new)

Janice (jamasc) The avocado pit, its flesh having fallen away by the force of the impact, had smashed into the stained glass window of the cathedral next door.

message 12: by smetchie (new)

smetchie | 4034 comments BunWat wrote: "Randolph's correspondence course in naked juggling was paying off bigtime. Although starting out with an avocado, two books, a spatula, and a yorkshire terrier was pretty ambitious. Then again in..."


message 13: by Lobstergirl, el principe (new)

Lobstergirl | 24317 comments Mod
"The window depicting Nebuchadnezzar riding the brontosaurus followed by his 300 large-breasted concubines riding ravens, Your Holiness," sighed Father Smithers. "We just had that window restored."

"What the fuck?" exclaimed the Bishop. "Who is down there praying, wearing only shorts made of an NPR tote bag? Get that motherfucker out of here and tell him about our no shoes, no shirt, no prayer policy as you hurl him out the door. I am going to punch someone in the nuts if I have to look at that NPR logo one more time."

message 14: by Leslie (new)

Leslie | 777 comments "Calm down, Your Holiness!" said Father Smithers. "We're still in the House of God."

"I don't give a damm!" exclaimed the Bishop. "Get that nut out of here. How dare he show up in NPR shorts? Doesn't he know NPR is blasphemous and ungodly?"

"But Your Holiness..." dithered the priest, not knowing what to do, hoping the Bishop wouldn't be checking radio dial settings anytime soon.

message 15: by Leslie (new)

Leslie | 777 comments "Confirm that kook! What about our no shirt, no shoes, no prayer policy?" yelled the Bishop, his face red and miter off-kilter.

"Yes, Bishop. Most of the people we confirm don't come back, so that might be the best thing we could do in this case, too."

"You do have a point, son. Let me think about this a minute...should we confirm him...?"

message 16: by Leslie (new)

Leslie | 777 comments "You know," said Father Smithers, "The Ladies Guild has never liked that window. They might think he's a hero for breaking it."

"Very true, my son, maybe we should turn him over to them, they might be able to do something about those horrendous shorts."

message 17: by Leslie (new)

Leslie | 777 comments Next to the spatula was a mangled, dirty NPR tote bag.

Abigail screamed and Father Smithers ran into the room. "Oh my God!" he said and crossed himself. "Call the police."

Soon detectives filled the church and surrounded it with yellow police tape. Not one of them felt the two eyes staring down at the scene from the balcony.

message 18: by Lizzy (last edited Jul 27, 2011 11:21AM) (new)

Lizzy | 129 comments Randolph, half giddy with the feel of the kill, watched as the police brought out a body on a stretcher that was covered in a black tarp. The bloodied hand of the bishop hanging limp to the side.
"Great jumping jellybeans! What happened to the bishop?!" Cried a shrill and harsh voice. Randolph snapped out of his revalry to see Agnes, the love of his life, starring at the body.
He would have to explain this to her if he ever planned to win her heart, but in his current state of dress, it just would not do.

message 19: by Leslie (new)

Leslie | 777 comments After the detectives finally left, Randolph tiptoed down into the vestment room. He rooted around among the red, black, and even purple robes looking for something to wear.

At last he settled on a sedate black priestly garment and a pair of black shoes. As Randolph left the church through the front door, he hoped that Agnes would never find out that he had anything to do with the death of her beloved Bishop. Beloved since he had helped raise Agnes after her own parents dropped her off at the church orphanage and disappeared into the night. Randolph knew he would have no chance at all with Agnes if she knew of his part in her "adopted father's" death.

message 20: by Lizzy (new)

Lizzy | 129 comments But, before he could go and win the heart of Agnes, he needed to destroy all evidence that might lead the athorities to him. He would start with the Spatula for just an hour ago he was seen weilding it in the library.

message 21: by Leslie (new)

Leslie | 777 comments The police have the spatula with my fingerprints all over it, along with the bishop's blood. What can I do? Randolph wondered as he meandered down the street in front of the church.

Maybe I can get in the station if they think I'm a real priest. I should go to the library and steal a Bible. That's the finishing touch I need to fool everyone! A Bible!

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