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Rants: OT & OTT > Apocrypha on your Kindle

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message 1: by Andre Jute (new)

Andre Jute (andrejute) | 4851 comments Mod
When I received my Kindle, I downloaded some standard references (1911 Britannica, Strunk, Bible, etc). I haven't in fact noticed that the Bible I chose carried typos -- perhaps because I've had no cause to refer to it -- but someone did, and told the distributors, who fixed them. Nice, that. I'd hate to have to proofread the Bible. All those X begat Y lines -- easy to lose your place.

***
Hello,

We're writing about your past Kindle purchase of The Holy Bible English Standard Version (ESV) by Crossway Bibles. The version you received had typos that have been corrected.

An updated version of The Holy Bible English Standard Version (ESV) (ASIN:B001EOCFU4) is now available. It's important to note that when we send you the updated version, you will no longer be able to view any highlights, bookmarks, and notes made in your current version and your furthest reading location will be lost.

If you wish to receive the updated version, please reply to this email with the word "Yes" in the first line of your response. Within 2 hours of receiving the e-mail any device that has the title currently downloaded will be updated automatically if the wireless is on.

You can find more information about Kindle related topics here:

http://www.amazon.com/kindlesupport

We apologize for any inconvenience caused and thank you for your business with Amazon.


Sincerely,

Customer Service Department
Amazon.com
http://www.amazon.com/


message 2: by Patricia (new)

Patricia (patriciasierra) | 2388 comments The big problem is they had the resting coming on the eighth day, not the seventh, and that was going to screw up the work week something awful.

Proofreading the Bible sounds like a title I might use someday.


message 3: by Andre Jute (new)

Andre Jute (andrejute) | 4851 comments Mod
Have it.

But use it before Snake Charming becomes the Official State Religion of the USA. After that it could be risky.

A stage in the Inquisition was "showing the instruments" to the heretic. Yesterday I had a recalcitrant bolt on the Brooks saddle on my bicycle. I held up the Vise Grips and said, "I show you the instruments! Do you renounce your heresy?" And miraculously the bolt fell out in my hand... I'm composing a letter to Rome.


message 4: by Margaret (new)

Margaret (xenasmom) | 306 comments Andre Jute wrote: "Have it.

But use it before Snake Charming becomes the Official State Religion of the USA. After that it could be risky.

A stage in the Inquisition was "showing the instruments" to the heretic. Ye..."


Thank you, thank you, thank you, for making me laugh after sitting for way too many hours at my computer.


message 5: by Katie (new)

Katie Stewart (katiewstewart) | 1099 comments Thank you, thank you, thank you, for making me laugh after sitting for way too many hours at my computer

Me too, only I'm having to stifle it because I'm at work. It's lunch time, but still best not to look as if I'm enjoying myself. I do hope Andre's letter to Rome doesn't encourage a return to the Inquisition.


message 6: by Claudine (new)

Claudine | 1110 comments Mod
LOL! You haven't been struck down yet Andre?

I couldn't imagine reading the bible on a Kindle. I couldn't imagine ever reading the bible again though.


message 7: by Andre Jute (new)

Andre Jute (andrejute) | 4851 comments Mod
Struck down? Me? Uh-uh. I can walk or ride up the hill before my house and look down on a ruined abbey at the head of the bay that my ancestors, starting with Erik Bloodsword, sacked three times between the 9th and 11th centuries because the abbot wasn't quick enough to get off the road and touch his forelock when Erik's mother passed.

A writer simply must have a bible. One day he may be too old and decrepit to make up his own stories, and then he can raid the bible. I woulda said Holinshed, but Will the Shake already stole that cupboard bare.

If they bring the Inquisition back, I hope they put me in charge of it. There are some parties I want to show the instruments, starting with Margie's ottoman...


message 8: by Claudine (new)

Claudine | 1110 comments Mod
That kind of fantasy gets a bit tedious for me. I grew up Baptist with a smattering of happy clappy let us all drive the demon out types. More than enough to last me a lifetime. Now I am more into the Mighty FSM.


message 9: by Andre Jute (new)

Andre Jute (andrejute) | 4851 comments Mod
I keep a bible for looking up a quotation that escapes Bartlett; hasn't happened within living memory.


message 10: by Sharon (new)

Sharon Tillotson (storytellerauthor) | 1802 comments I got that email from Amazon as well. Almost fell out of my chair laughing. And then I read this: "We apologize for any inconvenience caused and thank you for your business with Amazon." and laughed even harder. Did Amazon think they could absolve themselves of all past, present and future blame by apologizing for something that wasn't their fault? Or did they make the mistake and publish the wrong version?

Either way, methinks the version I downloaded might have been a poor choice. I mean, huh? typos in a Bible? Doesn't make me feel very confident in the authority of the whole translation. Mind you, on second thought, which version ever has?


message 11: by Patricia (new)

Patricia (patriciasierra) | 2388 comments I'm envisioning people bopping themselves on the head and saying, "Oh no! Thou shalt NOT kill??? Now they tell me!"


message 12: by Sharon (new)

Sharon Tillotson (storytellerauthor) | 1802 comments Yep, Patricia, you should write Proofreading the Bible. Or co-write it with Andre. Lemme know when you are finished, my Kindle needs more humour...


message 13: by Andre Jute (new)

Andre Jute (andrejute) | 4851 comments Mod
In defense of the bible, though admittedly I haven't read it for a few decades and might be remembering the glow of big monetary prizes I won in Sunday School, it must be said that some of those stories are better, and better told, than approximately 79% of published fiction.


message 14: by Claudine (new)

Claudine | 1110 comments Mod
Well Andre it was the start of the fantasy genre after all.


message 15: by Patricia (new)

Patricia (patriciasierra) | 2388 comments Am I the only one who never read the Bible?


message 16: by Andre Jute (last edited Jul 02, 2011 10:04AM) (new)

Andre Jute (andrejute) | 4851 comments Mod
Claudine wrote: "Well Andre it was the start of the fantasy genre after all."

See you in the hot place -- the Little Karroo at high summer.

Take a tip, Sierra, get the King James version, read some good fantasy. The Bible is The Source of Close Encounters.


message 17: by Sharon (new)

Sharon Tillotson (storytellerauthor) | 1802 comments At a very early age I knew religion was not for me, but I have a cherished copy of the Bible which I read in my early twenties so I would at least be informed. Since then I've bought and read a couple of different versions.

As Andre said, "some of those stories are better, and better told, than approximately 79% of published fiction"

My view on religion has not changed, but my understanding of spirituality has...


message 18: by Claudine (last edited Jul 02, 2011 10:09AM) (new)

Claudine | 1110 comments Mod
Andre Jute wrote: "Claudine wrote: "Well Andre it was the start of the fantasy genre after all."

See you in the hot place -- the Little Karroo at high summer."


Yes, fortunately or unfortunately!

Sharon, I went through a crisis of faith in 1997. Changed my perspective around completely. I went from a born again Christian to an agnostic bordering on atheist. One of my favourite books on the subject is Religion Explained by Pascal Boyer. It's a dry read, very much like a doctoral thesis or something but pretty much sums up what I feel religion is and how it came about.

http://www.amazon.com/Religion-Explai...

http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/78...


message 19: by Patricia (new)

Patricia (patriciasierra) | 2388 comments I used to be a Unitarian which is about as unreligious you can get and still belong to a church. Now I'm an atheist.


message 20: by Andre Jute (new)

Andre Jute (andrejute) | 4851 comments Mod
I'm a Calvinist. I don't have to choose. My place was reserved at birth.


message 21: by Patricia (new)

Patricia (patriciasierra) | 2388 comments You sure that's where you want to go?


message 22: by Andre Jute (new)

Andre Jute (andrejute) | 4851 comments Mod
You're the first to ask me.


message 23: by Katie (new)

Katie Stewart (katiewstewart) | 1099 comments I was brought up Christian. I still see myself as a Christian. I just don't believe in the Church anymore.


message 24: by Sharon (new)

Sharon Tillotson (storytellerauthor) | 1802 comments Andre Jute wrote: "I'm a Calvinist. I don't have to choose. My place was reserved at birth."

Mine too, Andre, but without being Calvinist.

@Claudine - Thanks for the links. From the looks of things, Boyer's book also pretty much sums up my beliefs on the matter - and would be valuable...

Patricia, I am going to have to learn not to read your comments while drinking tea...

@Katie. Me too, sorta. I never did believe in the Church, though always in God. JC? I've waffled back and forth whether he was real or a story. Whichever, doesn't matter, the concepts 'he' advanced are ones we still struggle with today. Perhaps the Greatest Story Ever Told.


message 25: by Patricia (last edited Jul 03, 2011 08:08AM) (new)

Patricia (patriciasierra) | 2388 comments As a kid, I went to the Lutheran church. They had a deal that's almost as good as what the Calvinists have. Your place isn't reserved at birth, but it is ready and waiting if you develop faith no matter what you did leading up to that moment. It's based on the deal Jesus doled out to the guy on the neighboring cross at the very last moment: finding faith = forgiveness. So you can shoot and kill your lover, then come to Jesus a second later, and still get into Heaven. That sort of leaves the babies out in the cold (or down in the heat) because they can't process complex thoughts like that when born or for quite a while afterward. At least they aren't saddled with original sin. Martin took care of that.

Now a word from our sponsor: John Philpin and I wrote a book (under the pen name Sierra Philpin) that tackles some religious issues. If anyone cares to take a look, it's called The God Wars and it's in the Kindle Store for 99-cents. End of commercial.


message 26: by Andre Jute (new)

Andre Jute (andrejute) | 4851 comments Mod
Patricia Sierra wrote: "...the Lutheran church. They had a deal that's almost as good as what the Calvinists have. Your place isn't reserved at birth, but it is ready and waiting if you develop faith no matter what you did leading up to that moment. It's based on the deal Jesus doled out to the guy on the neighboring cross at the very last moment."

On one side of Jesus on the cross was a thief, on the other a publisher. (1) Who wants to bet it was the publisher who negotiated this deal so exceedingly favorable to himself?


(1) We have the authority of Keats for this: "Now Barabbas was a publisher," he wrote to his own publisher.


message 27: by Sharon (new)

Sharon Tillotson (storytellerauthor) | 1802 comments How's this for irony. I was following this discussion while watching Wimbledon. The tennis was so exciting I stopped everything I was doing and was riveted to the game.

Djokovic wins a brilliant match against Nadal. He kisses the ground and crosses himself repeatedly while casting his eyes into the heavens.

Now that is Faith!


message 28: by Sharon (new)

Sharon Tillotson (storytellerauthor) | 1802 comments ... and so I overcooked my quinoa and forgot to substitute chicken broth for water. Dump.

But I did manage to pick up The God Wars after nearly buying it as a gift, :-)). Not promising I will read it anytime soon, though, my TBR pile is beyond optimistic.


message 29: by Patricia (new)

Patricia (patriciasierra) | 2388 comments Don't you just love how God oversees tennis matches? You'd think with so much to do...oh, never mind...

Andre, the publisher forgot to get the movie rights into that contract -- thus, The Robe and all those other movies got made.


message 30: by Andre Jute (new)

Andre Jute (andrejute) | 4851 comments Mod
Patricia Sierra wrote: "Andre, the publisher forgot to get the movie rights into that contract -- thus, The Robe and all those other movies got made."

Come on, the guy's hanging on a cross, nails though his palms and feet, and he's supposed to sweat the fine print after he already got eternal salvation free of charge? You're a hard woman, Sierra.


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