If you love writing <3 discussion

Genres > Mystery/Thrillers

Comments Showing 1-14 of 14 (14 new)    post a comment »
dateDown arrow    newest »

message 1: by LM, The Insane Moddster >:} (new)

LM | 175 comments Mod
If you feel the need to post your story and Its this kind of Genre then feel free to post it!(:

message 2: by LM, The Insane Moddster >:} (last edited Jun 29, 2011 06:51PM) (new)

LM | 175 comments Mod
This is my Prologue for my new book that I'm working on.
Let me know what you think. And If you wanna find out what happens next, I'll give you all and update for the 1st chapter and I'll give a link to it.

Once again for the Beginning....


As I stood in the middle of the battle field… I couldn’t help but freak out. Angels fly over head as Demons charge forward. I well… I just stand there. I can easily tell which is demon and which is angel. Angels have this thing called glory. And because they have to use their angelic power to fight off the demons, they are like dim floating lights in the sky compared to the dark creatures on the ground. But I wasn’t like them, you see. I was Zachariah… the prophet. I was not an Angel... But I could not be killed by human weapons... The only weapon that could kill Angels, kill me was the Angel Blade… And each demon had one or two…

“Zack! “ Someone yells at me.

I turn and drop to the blood stained earth just as an angel flies down and lands in front of me, he holds a sword that appears to be in flames. He stabs the demon coming at me and at first I try and close my eyes and tell myself that this isn’t real. But I know far too well now that everything that has happened is real indeed. Jeremiah, my Guardian Angel, turns to face me. His wings are still spread out wide. The almost-blinding white they used to be is now covered in dirt and dry blood. I stand and look at him coolly.

“I’m okay” As I say this he turns to kill off two more. I breath out a sigh. I finally start to think I'll survive when something , no, a demon comes from behind me and stabs me with the most deadliest weapon known to my kind….

The Angel’s Blade...

My eyes widen and I gasp, my hands fly to my chest and clutch the skin next to my heart. I see the long dagger like object peek out a little in front of me . It cleanly went through my back. It was funny though... I’d always heard that when you die, your whole life flashes before your eyes. But that wasn’t the case for me. This was all my life had ever known. The only thing I could feel was blood sliding down my back and chest. Although, time seemed to move slower...

“No!” Jeremiah turned and screamed in either pain over losing his charge or in rage for not watching more carefully. He charged the demon head on, raised his sword and with a thrust of his arm, sent the sword diving in a diagonal cut across the demon’s body. The demon let out a rabid scream and fell to his death. Turning to dust as he went back to the hell he had came from.

At that moment, my life seemed to drain from my body and I fell to the ground with a heavy thump. My eyes would barely stay open as I saw Jeremiah come to my side and start to sob.

Out of nowhere, the darkness that had once covered the sky shined so bright, I almost believed it to be the light I’m supposed to walk into. What I saw descend from the clouds was something that would have me dropping to my knees if I weren’t already on the ground.

As the tall man floated to my side, everyone; even the demons stood still, gazing in awe. With a thrust of his arm, the demons roared and screamed in harmony as they all had been sent back to hell.

“This is not the end of you… Zachariah..."Was all he said to me before the angels started flying into the light. Though, seven of them could not follow. I realized them to be the seven fallen archangels.

Jeremiah did not follow either. He stayed next to me even though my life was now in god’s hands.
“You do not believe I can care for my son?” the man asks.

“M’Lord I have nothing, if not my complete faith in you.” Is Jeremiah’s reply.

“Then why do you hesitate to leave with your brothers and sisters?” The man looks at him with sorrowed eyes. Like he knows the answer, but wants to hear it aloud.

“I care for the boy. Like my own brother. I cannot leave him.” Jeremiah looks down and continues to sob.

“You have become too attached my son. If you truly wish to stay by the boys side till the end. Then I will grant you that final wish as you fall.” And with that the tall man places a hand on my head. My eyes flutter slightly. As a surge of power seems to enter my body. Followed by the pain of loss. I look down at myself as I sit up and can see that I'm glowing with the light of an Angel. The man slowly leaves my side. And places a soft touch to Jeremiah's face. Jeremiah's body seems to fold in on itself . His wings become an ashen color. No longer the white they used to be. They are now tainted with the earth that he will now walk on.

“Zachariah, you will watch over the next in line prophet. Her name will be Neveah. Although, she will go by a different name. Find her and watch her. If you become attached to this world like the fallen ones , you will ultimately fall away from me. "

With that, he floats into the sky and vanishes. Leaving eight fallen angels and one guardian back in the darkness that once again took to the sky.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t be stronger.” I spoke the words softly as I stood to help Jeremiah up. My white wings spreading out wide as if I hadn't stretched them. He took my hand and stood, placing a hand on my shoulder as he looked at me with a sullen expression.

“No Zachariah, I’m sorry that I couldn’t be stronger for you. " He nudged me to walk. The seven others followed. It was time to get away from the past. To get away from the blood covered battle field. It was time to finally once again start from the beginning.

message 3: by Be Happy (new)

Be Happy | 3 comments wow, this is great!!!! I like the way you write!!!! I want to read more and more and more ;D Frankly, it's absolutely great!!!!

message 4: by Jaye, Originality is a gift... one of which I do not possess :L (new)

Jaye (jazzy123) | 398 comments Mod
haha it's on her profile :D yayay it has ALOT of chapters :D

message 5: by LM, The Insane Moddster >:} (new)

LM | 175 comments Mod

message 6: by Jaye, Originality is a gift... one of which I do not possess :L (new)

Jaye (jazzy123) | 398 comments Mod
u added more?

message 7: by LM, The Insane Moddster >:} (new)

LM | 175 comments Mod
Not yet. I can't work on it because I'm grounded and I'm sneaking on. xD >.> But on the 28th, I will hopefully start working on it again.

message 8: by Jaye, Originality is a gift... one of which I do not possess :L (new)

Jaye (jazzy123) | 398 comments Mod
yay! haha bad gal watdidyadoo?

message 9: by LM, The Insane Moddster >:} (new)

LM | 175 comments Mod
Well, long story short, I was already punished just not from the computer and well, I used the phone and I wasn't supposed to. All very dramatic xD

message 10: by Jaye, Originality is a gift... one of which I do not possess :L (new)

Jaye (jazzy123) | 398 comments Mod
ok lawl

message 11: by Grace (new)

Grace (fictionaladventures) This is my short story called The Black Cords: http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/3...

I really need it critiqued so please take a look at it! It's not very long and won't waste your time. Please tell me what I should improve! (But please put your comments under the story, not in this topic)

message 12: by Grace (new)

Grace (fictionaladventures) Recently wrote a new story, different from my usual genre (in my opinion). Take a look and help me improve it! Negative criticism is welcome as long as they are constructive! http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/3... (critiques on STORY please, not here)

message 13: by Grace (new)

Grace (fictionaladventures) The link below is of a short prologue I wrote of a book I'm interested in writing. My plot so far has many gaps though, so I'd love for you guys to read this and comment (on the story, NOT here) with any ideas you have that might work for it.


message 14: by Sterling (new)

Sterling Gate Books (sterlinggatebooks) | 3 comments The Orphan Trilogy (The Ninth Orphan / The Orphan Factory / The Orphan Uprising) - three top rated conspiracy thrillers now available as a 3-in-1 kindle box set via Amazon.

Twenty-three orphan babies are turned into the deadliest assassins the world has ever known. One will rebel.

The Orphan Trilogy (The Ninth Orphan / The Orphan Factory / The Orphan Uprising) by James Morcan

Tackling genetic selection, mind control and secret societies, The Orphan Trilogy exposes a global agenda designed to keep the power in the hands of a select few. The series’ antagonists are members of a shadow government acting above and beyond the likes of the White House, the FBI, the Pentagon and the NSA. Could something like this ever take place? Or, is it already taking place right now?


This series was co-authored by son James and I, a Down Under writing team. We also co-wrote the historical adventure-romance, Fiji: A Novel.

Happy reading!
Lance Morcan

back to top