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Komuniti Peminat > Talk anything on Haiku

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message 1: by Leyla (last edited Mar 04, 2011 07:44AM) (new)

Leyla Shuri (leyla-shuri) | 46 comments Standing alone here
looking up to tiny star
unappreciated

Haiku permulaan dari Fariza.

Suku kata sudah cukup tapi tiny star bukan kata musim (season word/kigo). Kalau hendak ditukarkan menjadi kata musim, istilahnya adalah Milky Way atau Bima sakti. Pada bulan Julai/Ogos shooting stars jatuh bertaburan di Jepun.

Standing alone here
Looking at the Milky Way
(do you want to try anything else, Fariza? (5 suku kata).


message 2: by Fariza (new)

Fariza | 736 comments Oh macam tu ya?

Standing alone here
Looking at the Milky Way
It takes my breath away

boleh ke?


message 3: by Leyla (new)

Leyla Shuri (leyla-shuri) | 46 comments unappreciated or it takes my breath away...perasaan mana lebih kuat for you. kalau it takes my breath away is 6 suku kata, you can reduce it to Takes my breath away.


message 4: by Fariza (new)

Fariza | 736 comments Alamak salah kira..Ok

Standing alone here
Looking at the Milky Way
Takes my breath away


message 5: by Khairul Hezry, I hate people but not you. You, I like. (new)

Khairul Hezry | 2357 comments Mod
Browsing books online
Kinokuniya
I don't have a life

:)


message 6: by Leyla (new)

Leyla Shuri (leyla-shuri) | 46 comments More interesting

Browsing books online (5)
Kinokuniya all day (7)
There goes my living (5)

:]


message 7: by Najmuddin, Tok Mudin (new)

Najmuddin (mudin001) | 998 comments Mod
I'm enjoying this thread.


message 8: by Khairul Hezry, I hate people but not you. You, I like. (last edited Mar 04, 2011 09:20PM) (new)

Khairul Hezry | 2357 comments Mod
Pn. Leyla, silap kira. I though 'kinokuniya' was 7 syllables.

Patutla asyik fail math bila exam.


message 9: by Najmuddin, Tok Mudin (new)

Najmuddin (mudin001) | 998 comments Mod
Books books and more books
staring sadly at my hand
holding a Tabby.


message 10: by Fath (new)

Fath A | 51 comments ooh. Betul ke apa saya faham?
kita Tak kira berapa patah perkataan, tapi kira suku kata? Selalunya undang2 5-7-5.
Kemudian ada kata musim?

Kata musim tu macam mana?



Ps. Saya budak baru belajar. Buta pada haiku..terima kasih


message 11: by Leyla (new)

Leyla Shuri (leyla-shuri) | 46 comments Najmuddin wrote: "Books books and more books
staring sadly at my hand
holding a Tabby."


I smiled after reading this.

Thinking how desperate you are not able to have time to read those books.

Technically, 5-7-5 aspect is complete. When you are comfortable later, I'll let you in on season word (kigo or kata musim).


message 12: by Leyla (new)

Leyla Shuri (leyla-shuri) | 46 comments Khairul H. wrote: "Pn. Leyla, silap kira. I though 'kinokuniya' was 7 syllables.

Patutla asyik fail math bila exam."


You are good at language. I read somewhere language is on the right brain (or left?) and counting cells on the other side. So you cannot have both :]


message 13: by Leyla (new)

Leyla Shuri (leyla-shuri) | 46 comments fath wrote: "ooh. Betul ke apa saya faham?
kita Tak kira berapa patah perkataan, tapi kira suku kata? Selalunya undang2 5-7-5.
Kemudian ada kata musim?

Kata musim tu macam mana?



Ps. Saya budak baru..."


ye betul tak kira perkataan. Kira pada suku kata contoh Kinokuniya ada 5 suku kata.

Untuk permulaan cuba ikut kiraan 5-7-5 dulu. Bila ini dah pandai kita testing pula dengan kata musim atau kigo atau season word.


message 14: by Nurul (last edited Mar 05, 2011 01:44AM) (new)

Nurul (nurulhidayahyahya) | 242 comments Music ringing loud
The same song everyday
My neighbor next door.


message 15: by Leyla (new)

Leyla Shuri (leyla-shuri) | 46 comments Nurul wrote: "Music ringing loud
The same song everyday
My neighbor next door."


funny.
will let you know the next level of making haiku.


message 16: by Fariza (new)

Fariza | 736 comments My second Haiku..

Sitting by the lake
The falling leaves are bookmarks
my lists increases


message 17: by Leyla (new)

Leyla Shuri (leyla-shuri) | 46 comments Fariza wrote: "My second Haiku..

Sitting by the lake
The falling leaves are bookmarks
my lists increases"


perfect, kigo/season word is falling leaves. Autumn :]


message 18: by Fariza (new)

Fariza | 736 comments Ok.. sekarang saya dah faham bagaimana nak buat haiku.

Cuma sukar nak pilih perkataan metafora untuk musim..


message 19: by Leyla (new)

Leyla Shuri (leyla-shuri) | 46 comments jgn risau tentang itu. Perlu banyak menulis. Di Malaysia banyak kigo (kata musim) untuk summer contoh sunglass, beach ball (segala hal pantai), suntan lotion, durian, rambutan (segala buah-buahan sana).
But don't let this worry you. Just have the haiku in format 5-7-5, the rest is adjustable :]


message 20: by Naimisa (new)

Naimisa | 72 comments ok, kalau anda suka, boleh ke komuniti Haiku

di http://esastera.com/haiku


message 21: by Leyla (new)

Leyla Shuri (leyla-shuri) | 46 comments saya juga yang mengajar haiku di komuniti itu selama 4 thn dari tahun 2004 hingga 2007. Sekarang saya sudah keluar dari situ.


message 22: by Khairul Hezry, I hate people but not you. You, I like. (new)

Khairul Hezry | 2357 comments Mod
Kigo ni suatu kewajiban untuk haiku ke?


message 23: by Leyla (last edited Mar 06, 2011 02:00AM) (new)

Leyla Shuri (leyla-shuri) | 46 comments skema suku kata 5-7-5 yang tidak perlukan kigo dinamakan senryu.
skema suku kata 5-7-5 yang perlukan kigo dinamakan haiku.
contoh dari Tok Mudin di atas:

Books books and more books
staring sadly at my hand
holding a Tabby.

Ini adalah senryu. Ia mengikut skema 5-7-5 tanpa kigo.
Orang yang tidak tahu hal ini akan keliru.
Jadi sebelum mengarang, perlu pilih, adakah ingin menjadikan senryu atau haiku.


message 24: by Bsplayer (new)

Bsplayer | 121 comments Haiku haiku and haiku
the words left me behind
lonely no remind


message 25: by Darma (last edited Mar 08, 2011 04:55PM) (new)

Darma Mohammad (darmamohammad) | 1 comments Puan Leyla :

Izinkan saya bertanya Puan Leyla di sini.
Pengalaman saya membaca lebih daripada 1000 haiku Basho, beliau menggunakan unsur alam di dalam haiku beliau. Saya lihat seolah-olah haiku herus mengandungi unsur alam di dalamnya.

bagaimana pendapat Puan Leyla.

Wassalam.


message 26: by Leyla (new)

Leyla Shuri (leyla-shuri) | 46 comments Matsuo Basho adalah mahaguru haiku. Dia yang memulakan dan menyebarkan haiku. Sememang dalam undang2 haiku perlu ada kigo atau kata musim tapi seperti yang saya sebut di atas..

skema suku kata 5-7-5 yang tidak perlukan kigo dinamakan senryu.
skema suku kata 5-7-5 yang perlukan kigo dinamakan haiku.

Buat permulaan untuk yang baru belajar, berlatih dahulu dengan skema 5-7-5 tanpa kigo. Selepas mahir dengan bentuk ini, bolehlah meningkatkan diri dengan menambah perkataan kigo dalam skema 5-7-5 itu. Barulah ini dirasmikan sebagai HAIKU.
Harap keterangan jelas.


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