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Remarkable Writing > Ryan's Writing

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message 1: by Ryan (new)

Ryan Winstead | 6 comments I guess I'll start this thread with one of my poems. I'm not a great poet, but I try to write some. I'll post bits of my novel later. Thanks!

I'd like to be the first
to welcome you to earth.
It's overwhelming: the thoughts
ideas, colors, flavors, lusts.
And that stranger in the distance
who looms over life
like an umbrella in the sun
or a sharp icecicle waiting to fall,
chooses how much you're overwhelmed
or not at all.
"But wait, it's fair" they cry
"I'm the shining example, me"
then allow myself to give you a new hand
so your mind will be set free.
You bark and cry into the endless wind
ranting of a crooked dealer;
a misconception, a flawed idea
that you're the only with fever.
The gale indeed is all of you
with tongues and voices and ails,
for in that wind lies the ears you seek
filled with their own witless wails.
Alas, I'm sorry sir
that the shuffling was improper,
but I wish you only the best
with you're only shining copper.

message 2: by Filza (last edited Oct 21, 2012 06:39AM) (new)

Filza | 17 comments Mod
Nice but I think a bit more detail and context would make it great:) All the luck for future poetry!

message 3: by Eriq (new)

Eriq Garcia (EriqGarcia) | 5 comments i enjoyed this. i wasnt going really read it but could not stop. next thing u know i imm at the bottom last u knew i was on top. but your poem waas realy great and hope u like to write as much as we like to read. thanks for the inseration

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