Weekly Short Stories Contest and Company! discussion

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Weekly Poetry Stuffage > Week 71- (March 2nd-9th) Poems --- Topic: Mourning Lost Love DONE!

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message 1: by Guy (new)

Guy (egajd) | 11107 comments Alex, I think you meant 'MouRning' Lost Love', but when I first read it I scanned it as 'Mooring Last Love' which I find particularly intriguing! ;-)

message 2: by [deleted user] (new)

I might, just might, possibly dare myself to maybe maybe write a poem this week. I don't know. :D

message 3: by Rachael (new)

Rachael (rayle504) | 107 comments ok...here it goes...

Holding Hands

A newborn is slowly rocked to sleep.
Tucked safely in her mother’s arms to keep.
With a tiny fist in her mother’s hand;
This is how their bond began.

The years pass by,
Each day to the next.
All the while,
Their hands will connect.

Like an angel,
Lighting the way.
Loving and guiding her
From Day to day.

Through her trials and tribulations;
They stand holding hands.
From grammar school to graduation;
Together strong they would stand.

Guiding her daughter
Each day that had passed.
Through marriage and children
And any hard times that passed.

One day it had happened
And then she was gone.
She did what Mom would want
And continued moving on.

It doesn’t get easier
And each day she’ll cry
She is strong and she is faithful
As she reaches toward the sky.

She is firm in her knowledge
That they’ll meet again.
When the time is finally right;
In heaven hand in hand.

message 4: by Kristen (new)

Kristen Marincic Hiestermann | 519 comments nice Rachael, I like it :)

message 5: by Kristen (new)

Kristen Marincic Hiestermann | 519 comments I probably already have something that would fit this topic, but might write something new anyhow....I'm not sure :/

message 6: by Rachael (new)

Rachael (rayle504) | 107 comments ty kristen and al.
al, your poem was beautiful. you have such a way with expression and wording.

message 7: by Rachael (new)

Rachael (rayle504) | 107 comments it was was great al!

message 8: by Caitlan (new)

Caitlan (lionesserampant) | 2869 comments Title: The Beloved Place
Author: Kat

The rose petals float down the stream;
Swirling in the eddies left by the boat.
The boat that carries my beloved,
Carries my beloved to a place where he belongs.

A place where smiles aren't fake,
Aren't a ploy to get on your good side,
So the wielder may eventually kill you
With their giant gun and loaded heart.

A place where terror has no name,
Where fear does not exist,
Clogging your brain and your senses,
Overwhelming you, 'til death do you part.

A place where it is constantly bright,
Where sunshine floods night and day,
A place to love, a place to enjoy,
A place where he will wait for me.

His beloved. 3

message 9: by M (last edited Mar 04, 2011 05:38PM) (new)

M | 11266 comments Rachael: Your poem is uplifting in all the right ways.

Al: I'm shocked! Where's the surprise ending? Nobody gets tortured or murdered--or appears to be due for such. This is a very nice poem. (I'm afraid to read the sequel. Please let me know when you've posted it.)

Kat: The first two lines in your poem are like something from an Impressionist's painting!

message 10: by M (new)

M | 11266 comments Old River
by M

Willows in the afterlight
on the bank of the Old River,
conjure one face to my sight--
briefly my sad soul deliver!

I should kiss her downcast eyes,
take her hands as pale dusk burned,
hold her--with the childlike cries
of love, a lifetime lost, returned.

message 11: by [deleted user] (last edited Mar 04, 2011 09:24PM) (new)

Okay, this is my first poem here
and its really touchy.... but.... what good is writing if you cant express your feeling through it, right

Hidden Grief
By Avree

the tears
the pain
the anguish

is all known

the black
the somber
the piano

is all heard

louder then thunder
quieter than a whisper

and it`s all we hear

i`m here for you

i don`t show it
but it`s true

i`m grieving too
i never knew him,

but after the tears and tea are done
the kleenex is passed
and you`ve gone home

i`ll sit down
i`ll dry my tears

of time
and its past

the things i never learned
the things i never said

his talent
his heart
his soul

its all clear now
laid out,
painfully so

I want nothing more
than the scotch tape
to piece him back together

and love him
the way i do now.

message 12: by Rachael (new)

Rachael (rayle504) | 107 comments absolutely beautiful M. I love your wording.

Kat, awesome work as always. :)

message 13: by Caitlan (new)

Caitlan (lionesserampant) | 2869 comments :) thanks rachael :0

wow avree, that was amazing!

message 14: by Rachael (new)

Rachael (rayle504) | 107 comments M wrote: "Rachael: Your poem is uplifting in all the right ways.

ty M. I enjoyed yours very much.

message 15: by M (new)

M | 11266 comments Thanks, Al and Rachael! Averi, yours is almost like a quiet piece of music. I like "the black / the somber / the piano" and the way the poem builds then has that little last stanza almost as a cadential extension.

message 16: by Rachael (new)

Rachael (rayle504) | 107 comments nice job averi

message 17: by Mark (new)

Mark I'm glad you all like it.

message 18: by [deleted user] (new)

Aw thanks guys :)
@M - yeah, it was sort of aimed that way. haha, glad u noticed :D

and I really like all of yours haha, and i know that sounds lame and totally non-specific but totally true. I have nothing to say that hasn't been said - Rachael's was a wonderful bittersweet, Kat was full of imagery (love the rose petal/swirling eddy thing), Al has a way with words and of course, M, your last stanza was amazing.

message 19: by Guy (new)

Guy (egajd) | 11107 comments As I'd been afeared, the subject has brought to the fore the sentimental melodramas we'd thought we'd left behind. And I am here too, with my own little bit of maudlin verse:

It was when she'd left
drunk before morning's pale light
that mourning arose.

message 20: by Mark (last edited Mar 06, 2011 07:03PM) (new)

Mark The sorrow of

mourning lost love

is like a sharp thorn

in a bare foot

strolling in the garden

As painful as a thumb

smashed by a hammer

Blinded staring

into the sun

Seated in a classroom

ears filled with

the screeching sound of

fingernails against a chalkboard

message 21: by Rachael (new)

Rachael (rayle504) | 107 comments guy, beautiful words as always.
mark, you had me cringing at each line...great job.

message 22: by Caitlan (new)

Caitlan (lionesserampant) | 2869 comments good job guys :)

message 23: by [deleted user] (last edited Mar 06, 2011 11:35PM) (new)

Mark, it's really good when you can hear the sounds that youre describing in this quite room.
Guy - simple. sad. I like it.

message 24: by Katrina (new)

Katrina Knight (KatrinaKnight) Ave. Is this about who I think it's about ??? It chokes me up weather or not it is. But o can hear Mozart and Bach when I read it. Can you believe it's been a year:'(

message 25: by Guy (new)

Guy (egajd) | 11107 comments Yesterday I read a quite beautiful piece of prose-poetry that fits this theme perfectly. And while it may be a bit out of the scope of this 'competition,' I thought I'd share it.

Measured in caring

Voices. Water in the rain. Hugging the ground, running quick and light. Sophia here with them, summer after summer. Through bears and storms and power failures. Sophia gone. Suddenly. Permanently. Like childhood. And all that she took with her. Longing like a warm empty place you have to get used to. She is there and not there, that is the problem, the essence of longing for something in particular, for someone, dead and alive. The ways you will find and not find. Memory, when overgrowth can be cleared away (125-6).
Ann Dector Paper, Scissors, Rock

message 26: by [deleted user] (new)

Katrina wrote: "Ave. Is this about who I think it's about ??? It chokes me up weather or not it is. But o can hear Mozart and Bach when I read it. Can you believe it's been a year:'("

:'( Chokes me up too. *hug*

message 27: by Katrina (new)

Katrina Knight (KatrinaKnight) What do you think of *unsung* for a topic? Think it over just a

message 28: by Kristen (new)

Kristen Marincic Hiestermann | 519 comments Father

He had to die
It was God's will
I'm not sure why
But it was his job to fill

He left us here
Yet he stayed behind
In my heart dear
And always in others' mind

An empty spot
Is left in me
To be filled not
Will stay there eternally

I think often
The lessons taught
All would soften
When you were the one he caught

No one comes near
To the comfort brought
When held so dear
By him who taught as you thought

I never will know
A man as he
Our actions show
How alike he is to me

No matter what
How hard I try
Deeper the cut
Endlessly questioning why


message 29: by Kristen (new)

Kristen Marincic Hiestermann | 519 comments I don't think this is one of my greatest, plus it's quite old. But it certainly fits the topic and does describe the feelings I had at the time shortly after my dad died of stomach cancer.

message 30: by Caitlan (new)

Caitlan (lionesserampant) | 2869 comments :(

did anyone read ma story?

message 31: by Katrina (new)

Katrina Knight (KatrinaKnight) Kristen good work sorry about your dad

message 32: by [deleted user] (new)

Katrina, I love the idea for unsung as a topic, would love to write something about that... hey, Al?? hee hee

Kat, I read your poem, go up to my review.

message 33: by Caitlan (new)

Caitlan (lionesserampant) | 2869 comments i meant my short story lol

message 34: by Caitlan (new)

Caitlan (lionesserampant) | 2869 comments and the sad face was for kristens poem, cause it was sad lol

message 35: by Rachael (new)

Rachael (rayle504) | 107 comments dang !!! polls are up? lol
that went by way too fast.

message 36: by [deleted user] (new)

I Miss

You could say we had a fairytale, but I’m not sure anymore,
I know we loved each other but could we have really lasted?,
Like Romeo and Juliet our love is forbidden, and I’d die for you,
So do you want to test the limits and keep loving me?,
I miss everything about you since your gone,
I miss the kisses in the rain,
I miss you telling me I'm beautiful,
I miss the I love you’s,
But most of all I miss you missing me,

message 37: by Caitlan (new)

Caitlan (lionesserampant) | 2869 comments the contest is over

message 38: by [deleted user] (new)

OMGGGG Jamiee that's awesome!!!!!
Sadly, like Kat said the contest is over (which sucks, cuz i cant vote for u), but i'm so happy you have internet temporarily again!
I really like your poem, super cute and sad. Like a Taylor Swift song. :) eep! *hugs*

message 39: by Rachael (new)

Rachael (rayle504) | 107 comments very nice, jaimie

message 40: by Caitlan (last edited Mar 11, 2011 10:21AM) (new)

Caitlan (lionesserampant) | 2869 comments Here's the results:

1st place: Holding Hands by Rachael &
Mark's Untitled

2nd place: Old River by M,
Hidden Grief by Avree,
Vanished Love by Al &
Father by Kristen

3rd place: Guy's Untitled &
The Beloved Place by Kat

congratulations everyone!

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