A Ninjas Legacy

[Ivon]

right now this one i REALLY do want feedback on, and enjoy reading it is quite long though

The tale of the adventures a expert ninja
http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/2...

[Tara-Jayne (♥ I Read, I Love ♥) , Helps ivon, because he helps me!]

is that the one where i read the first chapter and thats all!! sorry!! im sure after my exams are all done and doesnt i can read the rest!!! EXPECIALLY maths!!

[Ivon]

its especially, and yes, i have 2 other chapters up and working on the 4th now

[[deleted user]]

Okay so I've finished the first chapter of this and let me start out by saying it's SUCH a unique idea, which of course is how all amazing stories start. I can tell that descriptions are really one of your strong points - something I'm afraid I can't say for myself! The only thing I'd say is try not to start stories with descriptions, you probably need a more intriguing hook, something with a bit of mystery to it that doesn't put everything out there. Maybe add a prologue or something beforehand that really leaves the reader wanting more.

[Ivon]

good idea, and yea description is probably one of my stong points, it changes over different chapters to give variety so it really does bring in different people

[[deleted user]]

Got it, I'll read chapter 2 after school today!

[Ivon]

hehe, im in school now, :P i can get on here at this time hehe :D

[Ivon]

NEW CHAPTER UP, yea, thats about it, link to chapter 4 is here:
http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/2...