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Stories! > A Ninjas Legacy

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message 1: by Ivon (new)

Ivon Drew (agentid) right now this one i REALLY do want feedback on, and enjoy reading it is quite long though

The tale of the adventures a expert ninja

message 2: by Tara-Jayne (♥ I Read, I Love ♥) , Helps ivon, because he helps me! (new)

Tara-Jayne (♥ I Read, I Love ♥)  Bell (tjchocolate) | 32 comments Mod
is that the one where i read the first chapter and thats all!! sorry!! im sure after my exams are all done and doesnt i can read the rest!!! EXPECIALLY maths!!

message 3: by Ivon (new)

Ivon Drew (agentid) its especially, and yes, i have 2 other chapters up and working on the 4th now

message 4: by [deleted user] (new)

Okay so I've finished the first chapter of this and let me start out by saying it's SUCH a unique idea, which of course is how all amazing stories start. I can tell that descriptions are really one of your strong points - something I'm afraid I can't say for myself! The only thing I'd say is try not to start stories with descriptions, you probably need a more intriguing hook, something with a bit of mystery to it that doesn't put everything out there. Maybe add a prologue or something beforehand that really leaves the reader wanting more.

message 5: by Ivon (new)

Ivon Drew (agentid) good idea, and yea description is probably one of my stong points, it changes over different chapters to give variety so it really does bring in different people

message 6: by [deleted user] (new)

Got it, I'll read chapter 2 after school today!

message 7: by Ivon (new)

Ivon Drew (agentid) hehe, im in school now, :P i can get on here at this time hehe :D

message 8: by Ivon (new)

Ivon Drew (agentid) NEW CHAPTER UP, yea, thats about it, link to chapter 4 is here:

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