Children Writers! discussion

9 views
Chapters > Stands Alone

Comments Showing 1-9 of 9 (9 new)    post a comment »
dateDown arrow    newest »

message 1: by Elizabeth (new)

Elizabeth (LiziRox) | 5 comments Carly stands alone. No one around her. Just waiting, her bus was due in twenty minutes but it’s not as if her parents would care how long she was gone. They were actually happy when she mentioned leaving at dinner yesterday. She left because she wasn’t wanted, nor needed. Her parents could support themselves, but barely. They were never happy when she came home with an amazing score on a test or scoring a goal. All they were happy about was when she came home bringing a lighter for their cigarettes.
I’m not wanted. The bus will bring me joy, bringing me to my grandma’s. She was sick and wasn’t allowed to stay at a house without someone else and Carly being seventeen was as close as she was going to get. So until University applications went out her joy in life would be going to school. School was a joy for Carly, loving Math she would forget about everything at home when the subject came.
The bus pulled up and she walked on, dropping her two dollars into the machine and the heads up to go on.
Carly took a seat close to the front, taking out her purse. She got it last year when she bought it at a thrift store. It was full of things she may need, Kleenex, her math textbook, an apple, and her stuffed dog. She pulled out the Math Book and starting doing her homework.
The bus pulled up onto a street that said, ‘Summerporch.’ I jumped off and started walking towards my grandma’s house. A few minutes later I arrived. Even though her grandma lived so close they barely ever got together, only on special occasions. Grandma wasn’t happy with Carly’s mom because she had got married and had Carly at such a young age, and ran away to end up smoking heavily, probably coming down with Cancer. Who knew? Carly pulled open the screen door to knock on the real wood door. No one came to the door. One more time this time much louder. In a few minutes her Grandma comes to the door in a pink robe. Her pink robe was pulled tightly around her. Her hair was in a braid and she looked, sick.
“Hi Grandma!” Carly said while hugging her.
“Carly?” She answered with a surprised look on her face.
“Ill explain later.” Carly said, relived her Grandma hadn’t sent her back. She wasn’t mean but she could barely take care of her self since her husband, Carly’s Grandpa had died from old age.
Carly peeled off her purse and sat down on the nearest couch, looking around Carly could tell her Grandma could barely support her self. If she was going to live here she would have to get a job. But her Grandma’s house was a beautiful 2-story home on a beach. Her husband left her a lot of money once he died plus this house, the keep-up and the rent were almost too much to handle since she wasn’t working.
“Grandma, the reason I am here is because…” Carly explained everything to her Grandma. Her head was nodding as if she understood it all.
“I know honey, don’t worry you can stay here as long as you want. But I am afraid that your mother and father have already called asking where you were. I said you weren’t here don’t worry!” she said with a smile. “Now go rest and tomorrow you will go to school.”
Carly just nodded. She knew her way to the guest bedroom because she had been there staying for a couple of nights when her parents were to drunk to even make a meal! Carly pushed open the door took in a huge breath of Grandma’s perfume and went to bed.
Carly woke up with in the hour. She looked in the mirror, she saw the same thing she did everyday, a mess of brown curls. Carly sighed her hair would have to wait, she left the room her piercing green eyes glancing across the room. She opened her door walked down the hall-way down the stairs and into the dinning room. Dinner was laid out on the birch table. She looked around the room to she where her Grandma was. No where to be found. She thought it was weird, a note was posted on the fridge,

Dear: Carly,
I’m out doing errands and will be back around 7:30 PM. Dinner is on the table as you can see all you need to do is make a smoothie for the drink.
Love,
Grandma

Okay a smoothie, Carly was used to making food at home so this would be no problem. She opened the fridge and saw many fruits she could use, Strawberries, Raspberries, Blueberries, Kiwi’s, and Orange’s! Carly looked in all the shelves and finally found the one that contained the blender. Carly plugged it in popped in 2 oranges 4 strawberries and 12 blueberries. She mixed it up, then poured it into 2 glasses the rest she put in a bowl in the fridge. Once she was done cleaning up her grandma walked in right on time.
“Wow!” she exclaimed!
“You like it?” Carly asked making sure everything looked fine.
“Like it, I love it!”
“Oh! Okay sit down and lets eat then!” Carly said while taking a seat at the table. She started eating it. It was chicken her favorite.
“Ok Carly now explain to me something.” Her Grandma said. She stopped chewing, she knew this was going to come up sometime but she hoped it wouldn’t be this soon. Carly swallowed and spoke.
“I’m sick of it.” Carly said in a quiet voice.
“Of what?”
“You know, feeling like your not cared about. Waking up and not feeling good! Moving around in houses because your parents don’t want to be caught be the police for the illegal things they do.” Carly said, it felt good to explain this all to someone. Someone she trusted.
“Carly I know! I understand it’s not like I don’t know. I knew you were going to leave those idiots soon enough. And you did!” She said. She was now tearing up.
“I love you!” Carly said, she was so happy she was staying somewhere for good.
“Tomorrow your going to school!”
“Really?”
“Yes! You can!”
“Ok!!!” Carly laughed and started doing the dishes.
“It’s okay, I got them” Her Grandma said while taking the half clean plate. Carly


Shreya=Drastically Random. Find the emoticon. | 13 comments GOOOODDDD GOOOOOOD GOOOOOOOOD
But I think you should put more of the scene. Like what it looks like, so we can get a picture in our heads.


message 3: by Elizabeth (new)

Elizabeth (LiziRox) | 5 comments ok :)


message 4: by Linda (new)

Linda | 4 comments cool story!


message 5: by ♥Justine♥, Head Moderator (new)

♥Justine♥ | 11 comments Mod
That is super good! I would just suggest what Shreya said... Like maybe what her grandma's house looked like???
Hurry up with chapter 2! :)


message 6: by Elizabeth (new)

Elizabeth (LiziRox) | 5 comments Okay!


Shreya=Drastically Random. Find the emoticon. | 13 comments Liz, I just read through this twice, looking at every word. It is AMAZINGLY GOOD. Like ACTUALLY. Really deep and detailed and you understand what Carly is going through. I'm seeing you on Sunday, you have to have chapter two ready! pleeaseee?


message 8: by Elizabeth (new)

Elizabeth (LiziRox) | 5 comments almosttt. im going to work on it now!


back to top