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Writing > Ingrid's Writing Criticism Appreciated!!!

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message 1: by DragonDreamer (new)

DragonDreamer This was actually really well written :) I like your style and use of description. As for critiques, I would say to go over your spelling and read through it yourself. Also, There needs to be an easier transition from points of view. Because first you're focusing in on Lenold, then it switched really suddenly. Also, in the end, I would say less commas and more periods, it'll give more of a quick, action feel in my opinion.

message 2: by DragonDreamer (new)

DragonDreamer can you read and critique my story please?

message 3: by Haven Angel (new)

Haven Angel i agree with GeENI and Ingrid
well for me ive read alot of animal book, most of them in an amials piont of view. But never before hae i read one about a rat! It was plesantly suprising. i would have never stoped to think about whow a rat lives his life.
Any way its really good, youve got really good vocabually, and the beging braught you in and it was detaled good (i could think of any other way to say it!)

message 4: by Haven Angel (new)

Haven Angel OH MY GOD ive seen the comercials for it but i havnt read it or sean i almost did though but i know the basics of it

message 5: by Haven Angel (last edited Mar 11, 2011 07:39PM) (new)

Haven Angel i wrote somthing for you and geeni.
it was spur of te moment but reading your guyses stuff and things made me thing of it!

message 6: by Haven Angel (new)

Haven Angel a
its really good !!! its a desert poam!?

message 7: by Haven Angel (new)

Haven Angel thanx
your so nice!!! we should!!

message 8: by Haven Angel (new)

Haven Angel :)~

message 9: by Haven Angel (new)

Haven Angel pretty much all of those exept western and well depends on the detective

message 10: by Haven Angel (new)

Haven Angel :)~

message 11: by Haven Angel (new)

Haven Angel oww ahh!!

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