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message 1: by [deleted user] (new)

Abby that's really good, you have incredible talent, don't be nervous about your writing. Ever.

And can we use other forms of the word? Like fading instead of fade for example?

message 2: by [deleted user] (last edited Feb 05, 2011 12:57PM) (new)

Please excuse this fail.
I am not a poet, nor talented in any artistic way.

The sun is fading,
Yet light shines through,
It’s lurking behind the mound.

Shadows grow long,
Gatherers scamper back,
To their burrows in the trees.

The sun will come back,
When the shadows are short,
And the Gatherers will wake again.

message 3: by [deleted user] (new)

:3 Nah, it's not! I made mine, in like, 15 minutes! Yours was good, I liked the old language.

message 4: by [deleted user] (last edited Feb 07, 2011 08:32PM) (new)

Sulking in the shadows,
Fading in the night,
Lurking through the streets
Avoiding the light.

Waiting for my victim,
to pass by unaware,
Stalking right behind them,
I will be there.

Blood tastes best,
from the teens who hang around the park,
so I watch them during the day,
and take their lives at dark.

Under that old oak tree,
Is where they like to stay,
smoking and drinking
All night until day.

Vampire by night,
and human by day,
that's the dangerous game,
I have to play.

(okay so I had a HARD time putting tree in there... I think I just ruined the poem by putting those two verses in there..))

message 5: by [deleted user] (new)


message 6: by [deleted user] (new)

I noticed when rereading it that I made a few spelling/grammar mistakes so I changed it.. oh and Frege...

Okay so I don't really know how I missed reading it before (SORRY!), it was really good! Loved it! But I don't really know why you would want me to critique it.. lol

message 7: by [deleted user] (new)

I was talking overall, SomethingBeyondHope. :3

message 8: by [deleted user] (new)

Lol oops >.<

message 9: by [deleted user] (new)

Guys, shouldn't the poll be already up?

message 10: by [deleted user] (new)

The poll for the A Word In Time Poetry. ^^ For this topic.

message 11: by Sandy (new)

Sandy (sandycrow) | 36 comments Guuuuys where's the original writing exercise someone posted here? It's gone I think :(

But btw I read your poems and I'm totally jealous!

message 12: by Bets (new)

Bets (betsdavies) | 85 comments Ingrid wrote: "kool. or gruel for a mixture of great and cool. although the actual meaning resembles fatal death (sad)"

Mean Girls.

message 13: by Bets (new)

Bets (betsdavies) | 85 comments What the heck are the words? I'm getting tree, and fade?

message 14: by Sandy (new)

Sandy (sandycrow) | 36 comments Iiiiii'mmmmmmmm veeeerrryyyyy confused. That's Sandy always saying worthwhile stuff :D

message 15: by [deleted user] (new)

Who won this? xD

message 16: by Gabrielle (new)

Gabrielle (gabshi) The tree rests still on the edge
A bench root sneaking in, a wedge
creeping into the water's light
A welcome rest on an icy winter's night

The starlight softly fades away
closing in at the start of day
I feel myself a fading too
Suddenly the air is full of woe

The tree fades at the dark of night
a crescent moon sharing brief, welcome light
the stars call your name one by one
until they are replaced by a restless sun

So welcome, sweetness, days come and gone,
the night that sneaks so gently upon
and things we think might be sweet and true
and the fading of light promising it loves you

message 17: by Sandy (new)

Sandy (sandycrow) | 36 comments *looks for the "like" button and realizes once again this is not facebook* :D
Your poem is awesome! =)

message 18: by Gabrielle (new)

Gabrielle (gabshi) Thanks!!! Another piece o random joy =]

message 19: by Kristopher (new)

Kristopher Ivie (KIvie) | 9 comments I love a good challenge, but I always go overboard. I made sure I had 2 words in each line and tried to hold meter.

Impression, One Last Memory

The last memory of one I loved
An Impression of love that will last
Knowing that kiss will be the last
My lips leave one last impression

One last memory to cherish
One last moment of that freedom
At that moment we’re one at last
Your impression now lasts forever

One impression on my pillow
Leaves memories of that last night
The impression that you are the one
One who’ll last and the one who’s right

I’ll keep this one last memory
The last memory before we leave
When you did that cute impression
Of the one I love and now marry

I apologize, but Valentine's Day is coming up. I'm sure most didn't expect this poem to be about THAT kiss. I like to throw in those little twists. All the clues were there (love that will last, last moment of freedom, one at last, one impression on MY pillow). I applaud anyone who figured it out before they got to the last stanza.

message 20: by Gabrielle (new)

Gabrielle (gabshi) Wonderful, Kristopher!!

message 21: by Rana (new)

Rana | 26 comments ...I can't find the rules or I'd post something for this.... :(

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