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Completely Random > Laugh Out Loud

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message 1: by Sky , Caillou lied: growing up is very tough (new)

Sky  (clear_sky) | 3857 comments Mod
Everyone needs a good laugh now and then, even if it is through a computer. The purpose for this discussion is to put a little laughter in our day, week, etc.


message 2: by [deleted user] (new)

Oh! Oh! I have a joke, Hold on, I have a couple!


message 3: by [deleted user] (new)

Two Cannibals Are Eating A Clown And One Turns To The Other And Says 'Does This Taste Funny To You?'


message 4: by [deleted user] (new)

A young boy and his grandfather were sitting next to each other on a park bench when the boy spoke up asking his grandfather to make sounds like a frog.

'Bark' His grandfather went.

'No, no, like a FROG' The Young Boy Stressed.

'Meow' The Grandfather went.

'No! Like a FROG!' the boy cried and the Grandfather turned the boy and said...

'Why do you want me to make a sound like a frog so bad?' The boy replied with...

'Because momma says when you croak we get to go to Disney Land!'


message 5: by Sky , Caillou lied: growing up is very tough (new)

Sky  (clear_sky) | 3857 comments Mod
LOL......oh, I've got one:

Once, there were two muffins in an oven. The first muffin said, "It's really hot in here."

The second muffin said, "Look! A talking muffin!"


message 6: by [deleted user] (new)

HaHa!


message 7: by Sky , Caillou lied: growing up is very tough (new)

Sky  (clear_sky) | 3857 comments Mod
:] lol, that joke is so dumb, it's funny


message 8: by [deleted user] (new)

Two Nuetrons are at a bar and one says to the other 'I think I've lost an electron' and the other asks if he's sure and the Nuetron nods and says 'I'm positive'

(( You need to know some science to get that one but its pretty funny if you do ))


message 9: by Summer ☀️ (new)

Summer ☀️ (summerroxyursox) lol that's hillarious!! ooh, i have one!
A mom walked into a pet store, going to buy a puppy for her daughter's birthday. She doesn't know which one to pick, so she goes to the clerk and asks: "I'd like a puppy for my daughter." And the clerk says: "I'm sorry Ma'am, but we don't do trades."


message 10: by [deleted user] (new)

LOL


message 11: by Robotgirl33 (new)

Robotgirl33 DeShong | 39 comments Ha ha ha ha ha ha science jokes!!
Hey, I don't know if this will be appropriate, I really hope it is, and I don't want to make a bad impression, as this is my first post.
Say this out loud to yourself. "How easy is it to buy a mattress from sofa king? It's sofa king easy!:


message 12: by [deleted user] (last edited Jan 21, 2011 12:18PM) (new)

LOL!

If you say gullible really slowly it sounds like Giraffe...


message 13: by Robotgirl33 (new)

Robotgirl33 DeShong | 39 comments Wow. I just had to use my dictionary to find out what gullible means. and it's not in the dictionary. huh.
XD


message 14: by [deleted user] (new)

LOL!


message 15: by Robotgirl33 (new)

Robotgirl33 DeShong | 39 comments XD you are gullible if you believed that!! XP sorryyy I had to see if you would fall for it XD


message 16: by [deleted user] (new)

A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of b!(ches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of b!(ches who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we're going down the tracks."

The mother went nuts and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language."

Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking from the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon." She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."

As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the b!(ch in the kitchen."


message 17: by Robotgirl33 (new)

Robotgirl33 DeShong | 39 comments !!! XD OMG that's so funny!!!!!!!!!! Im laughing so hard right now!


message 18: by Summer ☀️ (new)

Summer ☀️ (summerroxyursox) XD I LOVEEEE THAT!!! LAUGHING SOOO HARD RIGHT NOW!!


message 19: by Robotgirl33 (new)

Robotgirl33 DeShong | 39 comments I know right!!! thats hilarious!!


message 20: by [deleted user] (new)

LOL


message 21: by Summer ☀️ (new)

Summer ☀️ (summerroxyursox) LOLLL:D


message 22: by [deleted user] (new)

An older gentleman is sitting in a bar when a beautiful young woman walks up to him and whispers in his ear, "I'll do anything you want for 50 bucks."

He immediately puts his drink down and begins frantically going through his pockets. He pulls out a cumbled up ten, two five's, a twenty and ten ones.

He thrusts the wadded up money into the woman's hand and says, "Here...paint my house."


message 23: by Robotgirl33 (new)

Robotgirl33 DeShong | 39 comments XD omg omg thats funny!!!


message 24: by [deleted user] (new)

I know right?!


message 25: by Robotgirl33 (new)

Robotgirl33 DeShong | 39 comments XD i cant stop laughing!!!


message 26: by [deleted user] (new)

Hey have you seen Marcell the Shell? If not look it up on YouTube IT IS SO FUNNAY!


message 27: by Savita, Heaven doesn't want me and Hell's afraid I'll take over. (new)

Savita (haltranger) | 4317 comments Mod
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!


message 28: by [deleted user] (new)

Joke! I have one. ---

'Photons have mass? I didnt even know they were Catholic!'


message 29: by [deleted user] (new)

A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he'll give him a free beer for an amazing trick. The bartender agrees. The guy pulls out a hamster that begins dancing and singing.

"That is amazing!" says the bartender and gives him a beer.

"If I show you something else, will you give me another beer?" The bartender agrees.

The guy pulls out a small piano and a frog. The same hamster plays the piano while the frog dances and sings.

The bartender, completely wowed, gives him another beer.

A man in a suit, who's been watching the entire time, offers to buy the frog for a large sum, and the man agrees.

"Are you nuts?" asks the bartender. "You could've made a fortune off that frog."

"Can you keep a secret?" asks the man. "The hamster's a ventriloquist."


message 30: by [deleted user] (new)

When you don't drink, people always need to know why. They're like, 'You don't drink? Why?' This never happens with anything else. 'You don't use mayonnaise? Why? Are you addicted to mayonnaise? Is it OK if I use mayonnaise?'


message 31: by [deleted user] (new)

Life is a little easier for attractive people. Think about it: if a stranger smiles at you and they're attractive, you think, 'Oh, they're nice,' but if a stranger's ugly, you're like, 'What do they want? Get away from me, weirdo.'


message 32: by [deleted user] (new)

-- The Last two were from Jim Gaffigan and there will probably be more from him.


message 33: by [deleted user] (new)

Found a fragrance called Vixen. Guess they can't name them after the people who actually wear them. Nobody's going to buy Secretary. - Whitney Cummings


message 34: by [deleted user] (new)

How did we get to the point where we're paying for bottled water? That must have been some weird marketing meeting over in France. Some French guy's sitting there, like, 'How dumb do I think the Americans are? I bet you we could sell those idiots water. - Jim Gaffigan


message 35: by [deleted user] (new)

Jeff Dunham: You're afraid of offending people?
Achmed: Yeah.
Jeff Dunham: You're a terrorist. You kill people.
Achmed: That's different. Killing people is easy; being politically correct is a pain in the @$$.

- Jeff Dunham


message 36: by Sky , Caillou lied: growing up is very tough (new)

Sky  (clear_sky) | 3857 comments Mod
lol, oh, I could use a laugh right now, and I definitely got one. "Hey, I bet we could sell those idiots water." It worked, right? lol


message 37: by [deleted user] (new)

Yeah it did!


message 38: by Sky , Caillou lied: growing up is very tough (new)

Sky  (clear_sky) | 3857 comments Mod
lol. BTW, to let me know u responded, you can put it in the chat topic. That way, we don't get other people mad that we have random posts in a roleplay.


message 39: by [deleted user] (new)

Okay, just make sure you look. LOL you are blind.


message 40: by Sky , Caillou lied: growing up is very tough (new)

Sky  (clear_sky) | 3857 comments Mod
:] no kidding


message 41: by [deleted user] (new)

I responded. --

I used to think I was a little unstable, and then I met every girl I've ever dated. - Mike Birbiglia


message 42: by [deleted user] (last edited Jan 28, 2011 06:18PM) (new)

I responded -

I never have free time. You ever go to the cash machine, there's two people in line front of you -- you get kind of flustered? You're like 'Forget it! I'm not standing here for 40 seconds. I've got things to do.' - Jim Gaffigan


message 43: by Savita, Heaven doesn't want me and Hell's afraid I'll take over. (new)

Savita (haltranger) | 4317 comments Mod
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!


message 44: by Sky , Caillou lied: growing up is very tough (new)

Sky  (clear_sky) | 3857 comments Mod
Lol, that wasn't random or anything... :]


message 45: by [deleted user] (new)

I responded -

When I'm staying at a hotel, I have to call the front desk and be like, 'Can I have a wake up call for 7:00, 7:10, 7:20, 9:30, and 1:30 p.m.?' - Mike Birbiglia


message 46: by Savita, Heaven doesn't want me and Hell's afraid I'll take over. (new)

Savita (haltranger) | 4317 comments Mod
Ha ha, nice.


message 47: by [deleted user] (new)

Want another?


message 48: by Savita, Heaven doesn't want me and Hell's afraid I'll take over. (new)

Savita (haltranger) | 4317 comments Mod
YES.


message 49: by [deleted user] (new)

My female friends complain about dating. My friend was like, 'I went out with this guy, and he wanted to sleep with me after five dates.' And I was like, 'No, he wanted to sleep with you after one date. He thought he might have a chance after five. He probably wanted to sleep with you after zero dates, but he thought a trip to Applebee's might grease the wheels a little.' - Mike Birbiglia


message 50: by [deleted user] (last edited Jan 29, 2011 08:27AM) (new)


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