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message 1: by Nyghtmare (new)

Nyghtmare | 33 comments Mod
I am 13. The name is Laura. I am a goth. An outsider in school. I have seen 3 friends go through cutting. My one started stabbing herself. She ended up in the hospital....
This has changed me. I created this group as hope to help people. I don't like to see anyone suffer...

message 2: by Kevin (new)

Kevin (betweenmypages) For doing this u r supportive and thoughtful. I'm sabore warp, recentley ex emo. I stopped so my friend would too... she's my world. I'm an outsider somewhat but have true friends. I hate popularity. I hope to never return to the dark world of cutting. I'm sorry about ur friend.

Marissa "one of the crazy seven" Bacon | 1 comments im marissa, ive had thoughts about wanting to cut myself so many times BUT IVE NEVER ONCE DONE IT !!

message 4: by Nyghtmare (new)

Nyghtmare | 33 comments Mod
I have never cut. But I punch things. Which is not much better. I have gone a whole week without punching something!!!! But I made this group specificly to help my friends out...

message 5: by Kevin (new)

Kevin (betweenmypages) What exactley do you mean Laura that she stabbed herself? Like where? And why!?

message 6: by Nyghtmare (new)

Nyghtmare | 33 comments Mod
I don't know... She just ended up in the hospital.... I have not talked to her since....

message 7: by Kevin (new)

Kevin (betweenmypages) That's so sad. i hope she is okay. Lately i've been thinking of cutting again, it really felt good, like I was making an opening to release all of the terrible stuff. It was great to me. I want to do it again....I dont want to dissapoint my family, my love, and myself though.

message 8: by Nyghtmare (new)

Nyghtmare | 33 comments Mod
Don't. It's like me nearly breaking my hand punching a heater. I had nerve damage. It made me think. The pain did. But.... It screws up youre life so bad.

message 9: by Kevin (new)

Kevin (betweenmypages) I know...I willtry not to. I look at the scars and say "I DID THE PAIN, NOT ANYBODY ELSE. I HAD CONTROL." and I think "The physical pain equals out the emotional pain"

message 10: by Nyghtmare (new)

Nyghtmare | 33 comments Mod
I look at pain as a calming effect, that hurts everone else. Like a drug, it is addictive, it can ruin lives and bring harm. But you can STOP.

message 11: by Kevin (new)

Kevin (betweenmypages) I know I can

Cissi "Invisible but Invincible" (cissiinvisiblebutinvincible) | 5 comments I know that I won't cut. I will never cut. But sometimes, I think of it. I think, it really will help, it really will fix everything. Life won't be so overwhelming. I won't cry myself to sleep every night. I won't need to calm myself down. Sometimes I think of it as a punishment; Why would you do that. You are stupid, ignorant,not worth it. But I always stop myself. Sometimes, though, in extreme moments, I can't handle myself. I'll kick something until my feet are numb and bleeding. I'll punch my hand raw. I'll dig my sharp, long nails into my skkin until a point where no one can see them anymore, until they've completely dissapeared into the flesh on my hand. But usually, I can calm myself down. Usually, I can stop myself. But it does all get to be too much sometimes. And I know I shouldn't do it, and I know I can't, know that I won't. But it scares me that I would think about these things. Knowing that, if things get any worse, I could start in a moment, without a second thought or a look back. Just knowing how easy it would be to start cutting, to just fall off the edge without any way back up, and not be able to stop cutting, scares me more than anything else.

message 13: by Nyghtmare (new)

Nyghtmare | 33 comments Mod
It terrified me. Today I hit my head against a railing. (On accident.)

message 14: by Cissi "Invisible but Invincible" (last edited Jan 08, 2011 09:39PM) (new)

Cissi "Invisible but Invincible" (cissiinvisiblebutinvincible) | 5 comments That stinks. And I hurt myself by accident a lot, too. It just adds to the overwhelmed feeling.
Wait, how did you hit your head against the railing?

message 15: by Nyghtmare (new)

Nyghtmare | 33 comments Mod
We were doing a puzzle. I broke it. Miscalculated the railing and my head. It hurt....

message 17: by Nyghtmare (new)

Nyghtmare | 33 comments Mod
At least my head cleared... I don't shed tears anymore. Even when I want to...

message 18: by Cissi "Invisible but Invincible" (last edited Jan 09, 2011 07:47AM) (new)

Cissi "Invisible but Invincible" (cissiinvisiblebutinvincible) | 5 comments :( I shed more than a healthy amount.

message 19: by Nyghtmare (new)

Nyghtmare | 33 comments Mod
I like to make myself suffer mentally. With past memories.

message 20: by Cissi "Invisible but Invincible" (last edited Jan 09, 2011 02:36PM) (new)

Cissi "Invisible but Invincible" (cissiinvisiblebutinvincible) | 5 comments The cause of all my tears. It actually seems to be better than the physical pain, usually.

message 21: by Nyghtmare (new)

Nyghtmare | 33 comments Mod

message 22: by Kevin (new)

Kevin (betweenmypages) Im reading the book cut. ITS FANTASTIC. I love the story. It really helps me. I'll NEVER cut EVER again...thank you guys for helping me. Cut the book helped me too!

message 23: by Nyghtmare (new)

Nyghtmare | 33 comments Mod
Interesting. No problem!
But interesting.....
I'll recommend the book!

message 24: by Nyghtmare (new)

Nyghtmare | 33 comments Mod
Things have NOT changedfor me....

message 25: by Kevin (new)

Kevin (betweenmypages) Laura it seems like you have a big story to tell, a lot of secrets being kept hidden. It's ok, were your goodreads friends. You can spill to us, we wont judge...only help. Laura...have you cut before?

message 26: by Nyghtmare (new)

Nyghtmare | 33 comments Mod
No. Never. Well, I have this scar... But I don't know what it is.... Oh, that is from surgery in 2nd grade when I fractured my wrist and got shoved into a brick wall.

message 27: by K.C. (new)

K.C. | 9 comments Hi, I just read through your comments. I am 45 and I have never cut, but I was anorexic, and I did get addicted to drugs and alcohol. I wrote the book Bad Girl Gone Mom because I wanted to help others too. I am so sad and at the same time angry when I hear about people hurting themselves, mentally, or physically. I did it but I don't do it anymore. I am a completely different person than I used to be, and if you want to know how I did it, read my book. I should warn you it has a lot of adult content but I wrote it for teens, college kids and young adults that are ready to give up and don't think they can take it one more day. It's raw, rude and revealing. I don't mean to pump it but I can feel your pain and I think the book might help.

message 28: by Nyghtmare (new)

Nyghtmare | 33 comments Mod
Okay. I'll read it.

message 29: by K.C. (new)

K.C. | 9 comments Laura, I hope it helps you feel like you are not alone. There are so many things you can do with that energy that will be positive. You might be somebody great some day if you give yourself a chance. I also think your trying to help others is a great thing. Thanks for checking it out.

message 30: by K.C. (new)

K.C. | 9 comments That is true Lucas, but a book can plant a seed. The best book I ever read was 7 habits of highly effective people; it changed me.

message 31: by K.C. (new)

K.C. | 9 comments Well I am sorry to hear that. I've gone to counseling, talked to people, gotten involved with others and read a lot myself, and it has helped me. But I guess I was so sick of the way I was that I really wanted help too. I felt desperate to find a better way -I'm sure that played a part in it. I hope you find the answers you are looking for.

message 32: by K.C. (new)

K.C. | 9 comments I'm not sure what you mean, "I do works", does that mean you write, you shoot up, or something else? Thanks for explaining.

message 33: by K.C. (new)

K.C. | 9 comments I'm glad you quit the drugs and you are writing. That is awesome. Do you have anything published or on the web anywhere?

message 34: by Nyghtmare (new)

Nyghtmare | 33 comments Mod
Counciling. Never helped. Hate talking.

message 35: by K.C. (new)

K.C. | 9 comments When I was 13, my mom sent me to a counselor and I couldn't talk either. I spent 9 years struggling. Then I changed my mind and found someone I actually could talk to and she helped me see that a lot of things I was blaming myself for weren't my fault. She also helped me with anger that I had towards my parents for abandoning me. They kicked me out when I was 15 because I was messing up my brother and my sisters lives (not to mention my own). Everyone has issues, some worse, some not so bad but it is how those issues make you feel that can really mess with your head. I type fast so it probably looks like I am a talker but I'm really not. I don't like telling people about me.

message 36: by K.C. (new)

K.C. | 9 comments ok I requested an add. I sent you a link for some of my poems too.

message 37: by K.C. (new)

K.C. | 9 comments it's ok, no problem

message 38: by Nyghtmare (new)

Nyghtmare | 33 comments Mod
Counciling tommorrow....

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