~Opinions~ discussion

30 views
Fun > Hundreds of proofs of Gods existence

Comments Showing 1-21 of 21 (21 new)    post a comment »
dateDown arrow    newest »

message 1: by Emma (new)

Emma (zeeberg) http://www.godlessgeeks.com/LINKS/God...

You have only to read a couple of the arguments. They are laughable. I hope they're meant to be sarcastic.


Ruby~am I a part of the cure? (openupyoureyes) | 529 comments They are so funny. Heres another funny one.

ARGUMENT FROM SNOTTY BRITISH BIOLOGIST
(1) Richard Dawkins ridicules religion in some of his books.
(2) Therefore, God exists.


message 3: by Emma (new)

Emma (zeeberg) Here's a good one too:

ARGUMENT FROM GUNS (II)
(1) I have a gun.
(2) In fact, we have a lot more guns than you do.
(3) Therefore, God exists.


Ruby~am I a part of the cure? (openupyoureyes) | 529 comments HAHAH !!

THE INEVITABLE ARGUMENT FROM HOMER SIMPSON
(1) Doh!
(2) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM TASTY ANIMALS
(1) If we weren't meant to eat animals, they wouldn't be made of meat.
(2) Animals are made of meat.
(3) Therefore, God meant us to eat them.
(4) Therefore, God exists.
(4a) ... and he wants me to eat your cow.


message 5: by Emma (new)

Emma (zeeberg) PLUMBER'S ARGUMENT
(1) Therefore, God exists.
(2) That'll be five hundred dollars.


ARGUMENT FROM THE BIBLE (II)
(1) The Bible says the Bible is true.
(2) Therefore the Bible is true.
(3) The Bible says God exists.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

#

# ARGUMENT FROM EXHAUSTION (abridged)
(1) Do you agree with the utterly trivial proposition X?
(2) Atheist: of course.
(3) How about the slightly modified proposition X'?
(4) Atheist: Um, no, not really.
(5) Good. Since we agree, how about Y? Is that true?
(6) Atheist: No! And I didn't agree with X'!
(7) With the truths of these clearly established, surely you agree that Z is true as well?
(8) Atheist: No. So far I have only agreed with X! Where is this going, anyway?
(9) I'm glad we all agree.....
....
(37) So now we have used propositions X, X', Y, Y', Z, Z', P, P', Q and Q' to arrive at the obviously valid point R. Agreed?
(38) Atheist: Like I said, so far I've only agreed with X. Where is this going?
....
(81) So we now conclude from this that propositions L'', L''' and J'' are true. Agreed?
(82) I HAVEN'T AGREED WITH ANYTHING YOU'VE SAID SINCE X! WHERE IS THIS GOING?
....
(177) ...and it follows that proposition HRV, SHQ'' and BTU' are all obviously valid. Agreed?
(178) [Atheist either faints from overwork or leaves in disgust.]
(179) Therefore, God exists.






And here's one I've actually heard in a debate!

ARGUMENT FROM AIR
(1) You know there is air; you can't see it or touch it; you can only feel it.
(2) It's same with God.
(3) When you truly start believing in him you feel his presence within you.
(4) Therefore, God exists.


Ruby~am I a part of the cure? (openupyoureyes) | 529 comments Oooh iLike

ARGUMENT FROM OSAMA
(1) If Osama bin Laden were saved by God, then you would see the effects of God on him.
(2) But he hasn't gotten saved by God.
(3) But just pretend he has.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

LOL!!!!!!!


message 7: by Andrez (new)

Andrez (andrez-ssi) ARGUMENT FROM INTELLIGENCE
(1) Look, there's really no point in me trying to explain the whole thing to you stupid atheists; it's too complicated for you to understand. God exists whether you like it or not.
(2) Therefore, God exists.


I love this one


Ruby~am I a part of the cure? (openupyoureyes) | 529 comments Yeah i saw that :)


Ruby~am I a part of the cure? (openupyoureyes) | 529 comments ARGUMENT FROM NOAH'S ARK
(1) They found a boat on a mountain somewhere.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM WORDS I MADE UP
(1) (insert religious rant)
(2) Dr. Heckle and Mr. Jeckle.
(3) You see I create words, why can't God create the universe?
(4) Therefore, God exists.

SILENT DAVE'S ARGUMENT
(1) Chicken Girl.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

CHICKEN GIRL'S ARGUMENT
(1) Silent Dave.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Ruby~am I a part of the cure? (openupyoureyes) | 529 comments I liked this one

ARGUMENT FROM GEORGE MICHAEL
(1) George Michael says you got to have a' faith, a' faith, a' faith.
(1) I have faith.
(1) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM COMPLEXITY (II), a.k.a. GOD OF THE GAPS, a.k.a. DESIGN/TELEOLOGICAL ARGUMENT (XIV)
(1) The human body is too complex to have happened by chance.
(2) So it must have been designed.
(3) [Atheist: Well, wouldn't God be even more complex? So does he have a designer?]
(4) See previous argument.
(5) Therefore, God exists.




ARGUMENT FROM SPORTS VICTORY (I)
(1) My team won.
(2) They got their talent from God.
(3) Therefore, God exists.


message 11: by Emma (new)

Emma (zeeberg) ARGUMENT FROM "AMERICAN BEAUTY" (I)
(1) This bag was swirling around in the wind.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM NAZI EVIL
(1) Hitler and his Nazis were atheists.
(2) I don't care what the historical evidence says about their being Christians. Christians cannot be evil, and only atheists would be capable of the Holocaust.
(3) So Nazis, like all truly evil people, are atheists.
(4) Therefore, all atheists are truly evil. They must be servants of Satan.
(5) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM UNKNOWN QUALITIES
(1) God has qualities we mere humans can't possibly know.
(2) This answers all atheistic arguments.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM COMMUNICATION FROM GOD
(1) I had this incredible experience that could only be explained by a communication from God.
(2) Atheist says, "Couldn't there be a natural explanation?"
(3) No, I'm telling you there is no way this could be explained naturally.
(4) Atheist suggests alternate explanations q,r,s,t,u,v,w,x,y and z.
(5) No, none of those can explain it.
(6) Because they can't!
(7) Atheist is not convinced.
(8) How dare you deny my very special experience!
(9) Atheist tries to explain that she's only questioning the theist's interpretation of that experience, and not the claim that something special was experienced.
(10) You just don't want to believe that what I experienced is from God, because you are a closed-minded, dogmatic materialist!
(11) And also, you are a big meanie and I'm not talking to you anymore!
(12) Therefore, God exists.

The worst thing is, some of these arguments I actually recognise :( So sad.


Ruby~am I a part of the cure? (openupyoureyes) | 529 comments Hahahahahahaa!


message 13: by Nate (new)

Nate Someone sent me a text the other day that said something like:

"There must be a God, becasue Google..does not have all the answers, and someone has to have them!"

lol


Rachel (aka. Kaiserin Sisi) (looney-lovegood) | 244 comments My personal favorite:


ARGUMENT FROM INTIMIDATION, a.k.a. TOMAS DE TORQUEMADA'S ARGUMENT
(1) See this bonfire?
(2) Therefore, God exists.


message 15: by Annemarie (new)

Annemarie Carlson (annielawlz) | 470 comments ARGUMENT FROM UPPERCASE ASSERTION
(1) GOD EXISTS! GET USED TO IT!
(2) Therefore, God exists.


message 16: by Emma (new)

Emma (zeeberg) ARGUMENT FROM FORCE (I)
(1) [Argument from atheist]
(2) [Theist shoots atheist.]
(3) Therefore, God exists.


message 17: by Emma (new)

Emma (zeeberg) I've seen this used, with other words, as an argument:

ARGUMENT FROM GOD'S PLAN, a.k.a. GOD WORKS IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS
(1) There is a plan in the world.
(2) The existence of this plan can be seen from the fact that things are the way they are.
(3) My belief is part of the plan, and so is your non-belief.
(4) [Atheist: Why?]
(5) The plan is too infinitely great for our minds to comprehend the "why."
(6) An infinitely great plan must have an infinitely great mind behind it.
(7) Therefore, God exists.


Ruby~am I a part of the cure? (openupyoureyes) | 529 comments ARGUMENT FROM RISK AVERSION, a.k.a. PASCAL'S WAGER (IV)
(1) Some people said I’d suffer for eternity if I don’t believe in God.
(2) I don’t like risks, no matter how minute.
(3) Therefore, God exists.


message 19: by Emma (last edited Jan 06, 2011 09:45AM) (new)

Emma (zeeberg) ARGUMENT FROM NAZI EVIL
(1) Hitler and his Nazis were atheists.
(2) I don't care what the historical evidence says about their being Christians. Christians cannot be evil, and only atheists would be capable of the Holocaust.
(3) So Nazis, like all truly evil people, are atheists.
(4) Therefore, all atheists are truly evil. They must be servants of Satan.
(5) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM INCOHERENCY
(1) You have to have faith!
(2) [Atheist: How do you define faith?]
(3) You know ... Faith!
(4) [Atheist: No, I don't know. Please enlighten me.]
(5) You do so have faith! You're just trying to confuse me!
(6) Therefore, God exists.

GEORGE W. BUSH'S ARGUMENT
(1) That god won't hunt.
(2) Y'all.
(3) Ergo, um, axle of evil, ahh, claridify, umm, supportification, ah, pretzel.
(3) Y'all.
(4) What he said.
(5) Therefore, God existifies.
(2) Launch.

ARGUMENT FROM LONG SILENCE
(1) God exists.
(2) [Atheist explains why he doesn't.]
(3) [long silence]
(4) [Atheist forgets about the argument and goes home.]
(5) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM ALIENS (II)
(1) Everyone knows that aliens don't exist.
(2) Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence.
(3) Oh, but God's different!
(4) Therefore, God exists.


message 20: by Lauren (new)

Lauren (djinni) But it's funny because these are actually used regularly to support religious arguments.


message 21: by Emma (new)

Emma (zeeberg) I agree with you Lauren. I have seen plenty of these argument used, though worded a little differently.


back to top