Weekly Short Stories Contest and Company! discussion

note: This topic has been closed to new comments.
Weekly Poetry Stuffage > Week 64 - (January 1st-8th) Poems --- Topic: Promises DONE!

Comments Showing 1-25 of 25 (25 new)    post a comment »
dateDown arrow    newest »

message 1: by [deleted user] (new)

oh cant wait to make one for this one! sounds easy enough! :P

message 2: by [deleted user] (new)

Why Did You Promise Me?

You promised me everything,
You said you loved me,
But baby it wasn't true, was it?,
And now I'm looking back on every promise,
Why did you promise me, that you loved me?,
Why did you promise me, that it was forever and always?,
Why did you promise me, that you would always be here?,
So I'm moving forward away from you,
So don't look for me,
Because I don't care about you anymore,
I make a promise a today...I'll never love you again.

Hope you liked it!

I am a LoZ & anime Lover!! (CityofEmber) Promises Are Everywhere!

Ground hog promises either winter or summer,
Buzzer promises a ding,
Ring promises a wedding,
Sing promises a concert,
Comfort promises of chocolate,
Banquet promises of saucers,
Officers promise of law,
Saw promises of wood,
Would promises last?

message 4: by [deleted user] (new)

Oh. My. Gosh. Al. THats amazing i love it! :)

message 5: by Emily (new)

Emily Eastman Promise Me

By: Emily

Promise me everytime it rains
We can dance in it together.
Everything I ask
You will answer.
Everytime I cry
You will dry all my tears.
Promise me one last thing.
You'll be with me through all my years.
Holding my hand
When no one else can
Smiling at me
When I'm to weak to see.
Promise me
Promise to be
Always there for me.

message 6: by Kimathy (last edited Jan 01, 2011 03:27PM) (new)

Kimathy Title: You Promised
By: Kimathy

You promised.
Swore on your,
Your life.
Then my life.
Again again.
Breaking them,
breaking them.
The promises,
keep coming,
back broken.

You swore
your life.
You sure?
I'm not
You broke it.
broke the
Now you can't
have your life.

Lexi (Pink Jellyfish) (blackjack13) | 66 comments Pearls of darkness
by Alexis

Pearls of darkness her soul had gathered
Tears of loneliness-the vows are shattered.
A shadow from many, bleeding Hades walls,
“How darkness itself could love a mortal like me?” she thought.

When he fell down from his wall of fame,
Lucifer-The Morning Star-was full of shame.
Trapped in twilight-nor Heaven, nor Hell-
Night Angel lost in despair.

But rotten soul of a prince saw her
Pure hearted maiden-
A face of a queen…
He knelt beside her-promised her love

But he was dark-Heaven forever out of sight
He dragged her to Hell, instead of giving his heart…
Veiled in darkness, her light was strangled,
He broke the promises, the pearls scattered.

“The Demon can’t love” he told himself,
Locked his heart, let it bleed to death…
Symbol of loneliness, Symbol of wrath,
Thus it started-eternal war between two Gods.

message 8: by [deleted user] (new)

That's amazing.
Can I keep that? lol

message 9: by Kristen (new)

Kristen Marincic Hiestermann | 519 comments nice work Alexis, very compelling.

Lexi (Pink Jellyfish) (blackjack13) | 66 comments OMG thanks!! *hugs everyone*

message 11: by Kristen (new)

Kristen Marincic Hiestermann | 519 comments I haven't come up with anything for a while for this. I wrote a poem not long ago, but it doesn't fit the topic! lol, need some inspiration....and time! Already back into full motion at school, and boy am I sore! I guess the first day back at dance after 2 weeks off will do that to ya though...

message 12: by Caitlan (new)

Caitlan (lionesserampant) | 2869 comments oooh, lemme see, i'll write one at school tomorrow :)

Lexi (Pink Jellyfish) (blackjack13) | 66 comments i cant w8 to see your poems^.^

message 14: by M (last edited Jan 05, 2011 07:38AM) (new)

M | 11381 comments I deleted the one that was here and put in this one instead:

You Promised!
by M

You promised
to take out the garbage.
There goes the garbage truck
and our garbage is sitting
bagged up
right there on the kitchen floor.

What were you thinking?
You promised!
Now it will sit there stinking
all week.
Go find some unsuspecting dumpster
that isn't feeling quite full.

I know,
poor dear,
you haven't even had breakfast.
Eat out this morning.
I'm sure someone
will have thrown away
something delectable.

And if you find
a nice piece of furniture
or a lamp
while you're diving,
bring it home.

message 15: by M (new)

M | 11381 comments Okay, I took out the old one and put in the one about garbage. See what you think!

message 16: by [deleted user] (new)

I love that M! That's adorable :D
How many times have I gotten told that? countless. mwahahaha

Lexi (Pink Jellyfish) (blackjack13) | 66 comments awsome poem M!

message 18: by M (new)

M | 11381 comments Thanks, Averi and Alexis! Many a time I've remembered, too late, what day of the week it is when the garbage truck roared by.

I've read the poems that are up but haven't had a chance to comment on them. They're really good.

Alexis, there are some wonderful, vivid images in yours ("pearls of darkness," "bleeding Hades walls"), and it has a sort of epic feel to it. If it were a play, it would require a full orchestra.

Kimathy's reads fast and has a nice, almost back-and-forth, rhythm.

Emily's poem is soulful. "Promise me everytime it rains / We can dance in it together." These are beautiful lines.

LoZ's (I'm not sure what she wants to be called) poem is an interesting list of things intuitively equated, or as cause and effect, by the word promise.

The second and third lines in Jazmyn's poem ("You said you loved me, / But baby it wasn't true, was it?") tells in a few words the whole story of a lot of relationships.

The speaker in Al's poem is gonna leave some poor, starry-eyed man with a tear in his beer. Now you know where certain characters (and I won't name any names) in her stories get their dark side.

Lexi (Pink Jellyfish) (blackjack13) | 66 comments Hahaha thanks M!

message 20: by Hanzleberry (new)

Hanzleberry (doughboyissweet) | 1065 comments I loved that, M! :D The exclamations were way funny. :)

message 21: by M (new)

M | 11381 comments Thank you, Miss Hanzle Woozle and Al!

message 22: by Caitlan (new)

Caitlan (lionesserampant) | 2869 comments Title: Liar, Liar
Author: Kat

Liar, Liar
You told me lies.

Liar, Liar
All the things you said.

Liar, Liar
You told me you loved me.

Liar, Liar
Pants on fire.

Liar, Liar
You told me she was nothing.

Liar, Liar
Now I know the truth.

Liar, Liar
I saw you with her.

Liar, Liar
I saw what you did with her.

Liar, Liar
I know the truth.

message 23: by M (new)

M | 11381 comments This poem is fun! I had a feeling "pants on fire" would be in there somewhere. The irony is that "You told me she was nothing" is probably true. To the person the poem is about, whoever "she" is probably means no more than the narrator does, but is being used in the same way.

message 24: by Caitlan (new)

Caitlan (lionesserampant) | 2869 comments good job of interpreting that :) lol

message 25: by Stephanie (new)

Stephanie (chasmofbooks) | 2875 comments The results are here!

Al came in first place!
M, Jazmyn, Emily, and Alexis, came in second.
Kimathy, Anime Lover, and Kate came in third place.

Thanks for participating guys!

back to top
This topic has been frozen by the moderator. No new comments can be posted.