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Random Queries > Thank you notes; a quandary

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message 1: by Sally, la reina (new)

Sally (mrsnolte) | 17346 comments Mod
I really do want to know, so I get a new thread.

DO you write them? Do/did/will you make your kids write them?
Is there a format, a guide, an expectation of society that I should instill in Leah?
Gratitude, for sure. But how sincere? Direct? Do we need to make a veritable list in the card, or should we instead just be simple and direct about a specific item?

I'm talking lists of 5-10 gifts per giver. Like my sister, for instance. Or Matt's granny in KY.


message 2: by Kate (new)

Kate (kateharper) | 206 comments From an NPR article at http://www.npr.org/2010/12/26/1322636...

After the holidays, it's easy to view thank you note writing as a chore, but Kralik says that sincerity is the best approach — he encourages people to focus on one true, meaningful sentence about the gift or the person. The notes don't have to be long, Kralik explains; sometimes limiting yourself to just a few sentences forces you to distill your sentiments.

I didn't make my kids do thank you notes and now I wish I had.


message 3: by Sally, la reina (last edited Dec 27, 2010 10:09AM) (new)

Sally (mrsnolte) | 17346 comments Mod
I had to do them. It was a ritual. I couldn't touch an item from the gifts replaced, longingly, below the tree until I'd written, addressed, stamped, and enveloped a sincere letter.


Only later did I discover that pre-written cards existed.


message 4: by Phil (new)

Phil | 11694 comments My son got thank you cards in his stocking.

"Dad, why do I need thank you cards?"

"Because it's polite to thank the people who are kind to you, and it shows gratitude for their thoughtfulness."

Too much for a seven-year old? Maybe. But he'll write the notes.


message 5: by Félix (new)

Félix (habitseven) I think it's a good thing to teach. I was not taught that, and wish I had been.


message 6: by Stacia (the 2010 club) (last edited Dec 27, 2010 02:24PM) (new)

Stacia (the 2010 club) (stacia_r) My mom made me write thank-you notes for every single present my nana gave me. She told me it would have offended her if she didn't receive one.

They're nice to send after birthdays, baby-showers and weddings (or even after receiving an extremely thoughtful gift). Christmas seems like overkill to me. I was slacking and never sent mine out after the wedding.

I should have taught my older son but he's going to be 16 in a few days so I'm guessing that ship has sailed. Will I teach the younger one? Who knows...

It sounds terrible, but I could see most people getting one in the mail and throwing it immediately into the trash.


message 7: by Cynthia (new)

Cynthia Paschen | 7137 comments When the girls were too small to write, they made a picture/drawing and I wrote the words "thank you for the wool socks, I love them." etc.

When the girls were big, I made them write the thank you before they cashed the check, used the gift card, drove the Barbie car, etc.


message 8: by Cynthia (new)

Cynthia Paschen | 7137 comments P.S. My late grandmother kept every thank you I or the girls ever sent her. I think she actually kept a tally. Oh, Cynthia sent a thank you but her brother did not. I think it affected the size of our Christmas check.


message 9: by Sally, la reina (new)

Sally (mrsnolte) | 17346 comments Mod
Now that I'm older and still into writing, friends of my mom's and my aunt periodically send back to her letters I'd written them. they are hilariously off topic of the thank you they were supposed to be.


Stacia (the 2010 club) (stacia_r) Sent items are going away, sadly. We only got 4 Christmas cards this year.


message 11: by Sally, la reina (new)

Sally (mrsnolte) | 17346 comments Mod
Are you serious? I sent out 75 and have gotten nearly 50 back so far.


message 12: by Phil (new)

Phil | 11694 comments I sent about 15 and got about 12.


message 13: by Aynge (new)

Aynge (ayngemac) | 1202 comments It's bad enough that we don't write letters anymore, but if we're going to eschew the Thank You card, why even bother giving presents? They are mandatory.


message 14: by Jammies (new)

Jammies In my family, thank you cards are mandatory for every gift you get from a giver who is not present at the time of giving to receive a hug, kiss, or fake expression of gratitude depending on the gift.


message 15: by RandomAnthony (new)

RandomAnthony | 14536 comments No. Well, almost never.


message 16: by Jim (new)

Jim | 6485 comments Jammies wrote: "In my family, thank you cards are mandatory for every gift you get from a giver who is not present at the time of giving to receive a hug, kiss, or fake expression of gratitude depending on the gift."

Same here. Both of my kids were taught(forced) to write thank you's by their mother, I really can take no credit for this.


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