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message 1: by Kate (last edited Dec 16, 2010 07:41PM) (new)

Kate I have written a lot of things so far, but not so much for any of them, so tell me what you like an don't like, so that in can continue on the more popular stories. Here's the most popular so far (it's called Forever, but the title is subject to change):

message 2: by Kate (new)

Kate Absolutely. Sorry about not posting, but I just got distracted. (Dang gourmet suckers!)

message 3: by Kate (new)

Kate Chosen (Once again, the title will be subject to change.) :

message 4: by [deleted user] (new)

I want to read yours, too. But it's like 4:03 AM and I don't have the right mental power at the moment to leave a review that will help you. So I will try to read your piece tomorrow. XXD

message 5: by Kate (new)

Kate That's alright. I don't normal leave reviews after three in the morning, either, for the same reason. :)

message 6: by Kate (new)

Kate Okay, for the two people who may or may not care, I posted a new chapter of Forever. It's short, but it's kind of a bridge to the next chapter, which is very interesting, if I do say so myself.

message 7: by [deleted user] (new)

I'll take a look at least the first chapter tonight. I was gonna write but then never got around to it.

message 8: by Kate (new)

Kate It's okay, I forget to write sometimes, too. I need to do some serious editting on the second chapter, so critisism is definitely encouraged. Don't be afraid to tell it like it is, even if I being a stupid pig-headed mother hen about my writing, I will always value your opinion in the morning. :)

message 9: by [deleted user] (new)

Katie wrote: "It's okay, I forget to write sometimes, too. I need to do some serious editting on the second chapter, so critisism is definitely encouraged. Don't be afraid to tell it like it is, even if I being ..."

Oh believe me, I NEVER hold back. I think it's wrong but I don't even realize when I'm too harsh anyhow. It's more like, I got distracted with talking to people and didn't really write =/

message 10: by Kate (new)

Kate That's good to know. If I don't say thank you immediately, you might not wanna bug me. My temper is something I can't control until after the fact, but after that, I totally understand the other person, so I have the best and the worst of both worlds. :)

message 11: by [deleted user] (new)

Katie wrote: "That's good to know. If I don't say thank you immediately, you might not wanna bug me. My temper is something I can't control until after the fact, but after that, I totally understand the other pe..."

I'd probably bitch back at you and give you some lame ass lecture about the things you said to me.

message 12: by Kate (new)

Kate I think we'll get along just fine then...

message 13: by [deleted user] (new)

Katie wrote: "I think we'll get along just fine then..."

Excellent. **evil grin**

message 14: by Kate (new)

Kate Mwahahahahahahahahahaha.... *grins even more evilly*

message 15: by Kate (new)

Kate Okay, I did a humongous edit last night, because the story line was in need of a change. The second chapter no longer exists, and the first chapter is different. I think I still had a bit more telling than showing, but I'm working on it.

message 16: by Jen (new)

Jen | 28 comments I just read your story Forever and I think it is AMAZING! You did a good job so keep up the good work!

message 17: by Kate (last edited Dec 29, 2010 09:57AM) (new)

Kate Okay, this is a sneek peak of the story. I'm not saying whether it's a dream or it's real...


I watched the van disappear before turning to the garage. I typed in the code and ducked underneath the door, impatient to be done with the lecture I knew was imminent. Bouncing rhythmically, I went through the keys. Basement, backdoor, mailbox, postbox...there it was, garage. I twisted the key and the door swung in with a mighty creak. If I wasn't about to be chewed out anyway, I was sure letting the door creak when the children were sleeping would have earned me an earful. I was so caught up in my hateful thoughts, that I missed the warning signs. The indications of the end of my world as I knew it.

I guess you could say the first sign was that there was nothing, something that had never happened before. The air was filled with a thick, cloying silence, bereft of the loving squeals and constant grumbling that personified my home. Each footstep was like a gunshot, as I tiptoed towards the living room, painfully unaware of the oddity.

The second sign was simple. Easy to miss, and easier to blow off. A spot of blood on the carpet. A tiny speck of color in a dull brown sea. Actually, I did notice this one, but any hypothesis I might have had, any great epiphany, was smothered by the idea that Mother must be having her monthly. This thought, was actually quite correct, but it was not the reason for the spot.

The third and final sign, was simpler still. It was a headache. A silly, boring headache. It was the sign of a promise breaking. A very important promise. The ache came with four strange symptoms: One, white spots and bubbles in the vision. Two, numb fingers that were perfectly warm. Three, itchy purple blotches on the nose, as if when crying, you had become very cold. Four, a strange and deep sense of loss. All of these symptoms I knew the meaning of, and all of them I ignored as I groped my way down the hall.

I stumbled into the family room holding my head and trying to shake the dancing white blobs. As I finally began to shake them away, I saw another spot of blood. This one was more striking than the first, because it was larger and not near a bathroom or sensible place for Mother to have had a leak of some sort, as well as the fact that I've never seen a spot so big from a period, unless Mother had sat there for hours, purposefully bleeding.

Tired and confused, I slowly lifted my head, not prepared for what I saw. The source of the blood, my beautiful family. First, Chrissa, lifeless and pale, sitting in the lap of my Mother, also quite clearly dead, both intact and perfect, as if Mother had frozen in the act of playing "Horsie, Horsie". My own flesh and blood, dead, and by a perfected hand. A murderer with an artistic flair. The two porcelain figures stared at me, the slight smiles on their faces proving that they were unaware of the killer. I was going to be sick, but like a train wreck, you can't not look.

My brother lie on the floor, shreds of skin clinging to the bone beneath a missing head. My father, split down the middle, the only thing intact his spectacles, clean and without a scratch. My stomach heaved at the sight of his organs, splayed carefully by the "artist".

For some reason, the others were like dream, but the dream became a reality on seeing Mona and Lilly. The two beautiful twins, both broken in the exact same way. Arms twist and skin flayed, both with identical masks of pain and terror, displayed in the center. The monster's finest and most beloved work of art, his crowning jewel. I couldn't comprehend anything but sadness and pain, my eyes searching for a spot that was normal, sane, when my eye caught on the only harmless bit of white in the room. Or so I thought, until I realized what it said:

I'm sorry.


Feedback please.

message 18: by Kate (new)

Kate Sorry, I was being gory and depressing. It's still some of my better freewrite I think. (Not that that says much, I'm pretty terrible for the first four drafts or so, normally.)

message 19: by Kate (new)

Kate Okay, since you all obviously don't care, I'm going to talk and post things to myself.

I'm writing a novel(humor) about zombies. Lime green zombies, in fact. I was wondering if anyone out there had any interest, besides me, myself, and I.

message 20: by Josh (last edited Jan 10, 2011 07:58PM) (new)

Josh | 5 comments If its actually funny, yea, but aren't zombies getting a bit passé? I'd say that you'd either need to have a good hook or be content with writing this novel (big investment of time) for yourself, because its gunna be freakin' hard getting something zombie related published now.

message 21: by Kate (last edited Jan 10, 2011 07:58PM) (new)

Kate That's the point. Taking everything zombie and strange to an extreme. It may or may not work out. I want to write six chapters before I post to make sure I like it and it wasn't another idea like Forever, where I loved it and totally knew how it was going to end, and then I just felt uninspired.

message 22: by Josh (new)

Josh | 5 comments OK, I'd give it a chance.

message 23: by Kate (new)

Kate Don't hold your breath. I'm still stuck on the second chapter. :)

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