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Curb your sob story.

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Servius  Heiner Familiar with Larry David?
The Seinfeld guy?
Has that show Curb your Enthusiasm?

Love that show... and Seinfeld too.

Anyway, I was getting ready to head out of town for work, and remembered that I didn't get anyone anything for x-mass. Well accept for the wife, which is the only one that should expect anything from me at all, right? So in a moment of "eh, what the hell" I swing by B&N, shut up they have all their %50 off sales going on, well that isn't accurate they did have their %50 off member sale.
I found a couple of good books, two audio books, two movies, and the Curb your Enthusiasm box set with all seven of the released seasons, I know fucking awesome right. ALL with the %50 off sticker on them.
Which brings me to my encounter with some sales clerk and her sob story. Apparently the night guy was suppose to take all the "%50 off" stickers off the night before.

As she is checking me out:

"Sir, where did you get these!" she says in complete exasperation.

I make a few vague waves of my hand there and there and there, and say "I can't believe my luck, I didn't know you guys were having a %50 off sale, I just stop in on a whim."

So there she stands slack jawed, and wide eye'd "Sir, this sale ended yesterday. The night crew was suppose to remove all the stickers. "

I look down at the counter, the Curb your Enthusiasm box is on top, Larry David just starring at me; I tilt my head rub my cheek. "It says %50 off." I say nodding.

Her face cools and her lips turn into a thin puckered line. She makes a big show of pulling out a calculator with all the sighs and head shakes of a disappointed parent bending to the will of a stubborn child. (this next part is not verbatim as she was babbling for some time and my amusement at the time clouded my memory)

"this is a big sale sir, I'm going to hear about this" she looks past me at the growing line, takes another deep breath and the Box set, enters the value and starts to deduce the reduced value. She is doing this one at a time... for each item she is figuring it's value after the %50 deduction.

"Miss it would probably take less time if you just added it all together and divided by two... everything here is %50 off." I say, spreading my hands wide, smile growing larger.

"It doesn't work that way, sir."

"Really? Are you sure?"

"I'm sure, sir" another puff of exasperation.

"So if I had just two items one marked at 50 bucks and one for 100 that would total 150 right?"

She shoves the calculator off to the side and just looks at me. I'm not stupid sir."

"I implied no such thing. I'm just simplifying the equation for you. 150 divided by two is 75. half of 50 is 25, and half of 100 is fifty add the two together and you get 75... see?"

"it doesn't work that way." pulling the calculator back and continuing her arduous task."

So I shrug, look at the rest of the folks in the line, they seem like they mght be inclined to be on my side so I enlist the sense and reason of others. Two others inch forward encouraging the girl to do as I suggested. The clerk just started smashing the buttons on the calculator harder and shaking her head more aggressively.

So I say "Pushing the buttons harder won't make you right."

"I shouldn't even be doing this! The sale is over!"

Look of understanding "Oh, you know what I should be doing?"

She stops again, looks at me questioningly "No sir, I don't know what you should be doing."

"I should be getting %50 off"

She didn't say another word after that. Pretty much ignored my existence... which isn't very logical. I mean she was tallying my purchase, if I didn't exist then she would be doing that right?

I guess my expectations were too high. For some reason I had this idea in my head that folks working in book stores would be smarter... I have no evidence to back that up. It just seems right to me, you work in a book store surrounded by books and people that read... I would think you would be a little smarter.

P.S. I decided not to give the Curb your Enthusiasm box set away as a gift... Man that show is great! If I were gay I would totally have a man-date with Larry David.

message 2: by [deleted user] (new)

Maybe for inventory, she had to mark each item. I always have had to when I worked in retail. Except this one coffee shop.

What are you going to buy as an equivalent gift for Curb?

message 3: by [deleted user] (new)

You should have told the girl that you were going back for one more boxed set!

message 4: by Rusty (new)

Rusty (rustyshackleford) | 2198 comments I don't know why she would give a shit in the first place. It's not like she works on commission.

message 5: by Tom (new)

Tom Foolery (tomfoolery) Or owns the store. When I was in retail.... this is ten years or so ago, mind you.... we had percent off keys on the register.....

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