A is for Asshole A is for Asshole discussion

Is Assholishness a Behavior or a Character Trait?

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Victoria Pynchon The theme of A is for Asshole, the Grownups ABCs of Conflict Resolution is that an asshole is not a person but a behavior and not one person but two. Generally, we identify someone as an "asshole" when they breach social norms such as "first in time first in right" (stealing your parking space in a crowded lot; failing to "take turns" in conversation; aggressively over-reacting to a perceived slight. Because we can only change our own behavior, what do you believe is the best way to respond to someone who is behaving like an asshole?

Aaron (Typographical Era)  I just finished the book this morning (thank you, it's great!) and I'll probably post a review here and on my blog later today.

In regards to the question, something that I've found is that just confronting the person and simply asking "Why are you being such an asshole?" seems to work wonders. Of course the results may vary based on how well you know the person, but I've found that most of the time either the person doesn't realize the way they've been acting toward you, or, they've been acting that way because they want you to ask them if something is wrong and they don't want to just come out and tell you what's bothering them.

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