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Spazzy Maz Brit [the insane one] (cally215) “Cold hands and a heart of stone
You’re a Midas in reverse
You’re the king of pain and hurt.
You’re the thief of innocence
~~~~~~
You’re a tainted cherry tree,
There’s a mark upon your skin,
Where your heart used to be.”


The Boy Who Murdered Love
Calemvyr Zasyro

A small figure stepped out of the dense fog, seeming to appear out of nowhere. She cast a long look over the alley she stood in before nodding and climbed to stand on a couple of empty crates.
Her dark hair was separated into two neat pigtails that hung to the small of her back. Her lips were stained a blood red; a mixture of clumsily applied lipstick and the residue from the red lollipop dangling from her mouth. A crooked line of sparkly black eye-liner graced her eyelids, accompanied by smudged mascara. Her golden eyes glittered with mischief and scorn behind the white over-sized sunglasses she wore.
Her legs were clad in black-and-white horizontally striped tights, the top masked by a dark gray miniskirt. A metallic silver over-sized t shirt hung from her frame, exposing her slim shoulders that bore the straps of a black cami. She wore black knee-high combat boots with a crimson ribbon lacing it’s way up the back. A glassy black half-heart hung from a choker around her neck. She clutched a leather whip tightly in her right hand and a can of spray paint in her left.
A few other figures had emerged in a similar way that she had, seemingly out of thin air. They watched her, their eyes wide with excitement and doubt. One figure stumbled too close. With a malicious grin, she flicked her wrist and sent the whip in the boys’ direction.
A cry of pain escaped his lips as he fell to his knees, clutching his left eye. “Cal, that hurt!” he whined, his right eye wide and incredulous while his left eye was swollen shut and a sticky crimson droplets of blood fell from the gash the whip had left.
“Shut up, Dresdin. Nobody cares,” she sneered, a smug smile gracing her lips as she surveyed the rest of her ‘followers’ who had begun to whisper anxiously to each other and had taken a few steps back.
“Listen,” she commanded, her voice fierce with determination. Everyone turned to look at her, hints of fear showing in their eyes. “You’re here because I told you to. The Capitol is so stupid! We will show them what we’re made of! I will be the Monarch. You all will be my loyal servants, and all the ice cream sandwiches in the world will be mine!” her voice rose an octave in her excitement.
“We will paint the walls,” Cal declared, gesturing to the pristine brick walls. To prove her point, she smiled with faux sweetness and wrote her name on the wall.

Calemvyr

The bright red stood out against the faded bricks. She shrugged and turned back to the crowd.
“But Cal, I wanted the green paint!” Dresdin complained, his recent pain forgotten. He held up the pink can of paint in his hand, a look of pure disgust on his face.
“Too bad. You got that,” she snapped, the muscles in her arms tensing in case she needed to use force.
Dresdin scowled, muttering some choice curses under his breath that no seven year old should know. Nevertheless, he followed her lead, and the others followed Dresdin.
The girl, satisfied, stepped off of the crates to admire her work, oblivious to the presence of another being making it’s way down the alley.
“Calemvyr, you broke the rules...again,” the boy drawled, gazing at the violated walls with contempt.
“Zarcentyl,” the girl, Calemvyr, me, growled. She tossed the paint can over her shoulder and used her free hand to clutch the necklace she wore, a painful reminder and memory. The whip was moving restlessly with sharp precision.
The echoes of the other children’s footsteps hung in the air. They had taken one look at the two of them and fled, sensing the tenseness between them.
“It’s been a while, Cal,” Zarcentyl commented dryly, watching her movements with cautious eyes.
“I think you’re following me,” she retorted, slowly moving her hand from the necklace to her mouth and removed her lollipop, examining it carefully.
“I do what I have to do,” he said carefully. His left hand was fingering something in his pocket.
“I bet your obsessed with that love token,” Cal sneered, pointedly eyeing the hand in his pocket. “That girl probably has cooties or somethin’.”
Zarcentyls’ face heated up. “No, she does not!”
“I bet she does. And I bet she’s ugly, too,” she teased ruthlessly.
His face darkened. “Says the girl who gave it to me.”
Her face paled. “You...you still have that old thing?” she mumbled, her eyes trained on an invisible spot on the ground.
“It’s not like you don’t. The only difference is you’re wearing yours in plain sight,” he shrugged, his anger gone for the moment. He had one of those tempers that left as quickly as it came, usually flaring over the little things.
She scowled, her fingers moving to clasp the necklace again. “I...I just like the shape, that’s all.”
“Sure, Cally. You think that,” Zarcentyl smiled softly, his fingers hesitantly reaching out to brush her cheek.
Calemvyr froze, her eyes swimming with a mixture of confusion. “I…I have to go, Zar,” her voice was trembling.
“Wait, Cal,” Zarcentyl pleaded, grabbing her wrist tightly. His face mimicked a storm cloud, just about to let loose the thunder and lightning.
Terror flashed through the young girls’ eyes as she remembered the consequences that came with being his closest friend. For once, she forgot her arrogant self and was completely focused on her own safety. “Let me go, Zar!” Her fingertips began to tingle as the venom gathered under her fingernails. Her body temperature began to heat up in her hurried panic.
Zarcentyl let out an irritated hiss, letting go of her when the heat was too much for him. Relieved, she turned to leave.
“Don’t go, Cal,” his voice was cold. Void of the warmth that once was there. Her lower lip trembled as she was on the verge of tears. It hurt, the way he had talked to her. She turned slowly, her eyes glistening with the prospect of tears.
Zarcentyl recognized his mistake immediately. “Oh. Cally, I’m...I’m so sorry. Cal, I-“
“Don’t, Zar,” her voice was hard. “Forget everything. And take your stupid necklace back.” She gave an angry tug and the choker snapped. She tossed it almost lazily at his feet.
“What..? Cal, no...” his voice was pained as he stared in shock at the broken necklace at his feet. He glanced up, but she was gone. Just like that, she had left. And for the first time in his life, Zarcentyl felt a tear slip down his face.
He wiped the water from his face and stared at it for a long time, with only one haunting echo running through his mind. Why.

“Did you just see a future without me, Cal?” Zak smirked, his eyes teasing.
“No, although it would be nice,” I scowled. I was tempted to rub my eyes, which now held a forgotten pressure of the foretold tears, but I refused to smudge my carefully applied makeup.
Instead, I met Zaks ruthless gaze, absently fingering one of the charms on my bracelet. Stupid ADHD.
“That was so funny I forgot to laugh,” Zak mocked. He leaned back against the wooden pole that supported the tent we were standing under. Mainly because it was drizzling outside.
In truth, the sudden reverie of Zarcentyl scared me. It was one of those memories that refused to be forgotten by choice, but instead could only be partially erased by time..
Fortunately, I had managed to stay standing, part of the reason being Zak wanting to be cliché and dance. To the only slow song played the entire night. But, I suppose beggars cant be choosers. I didn’t need the extra attention, although I did want it.
This was besides the fact that I already stood out enough—I had dared to wear black where everyone else wore pastels, with an occasional navy.
The dress itself was black, with layered tulle from the waist down that ended at my mid-thigh. It was strapless, with a straight beaded neckline, drop waist with a sparkling accent, and a bow whose color was that of blood.
People were really dull these days, thinking that they were all the same. Well, to put it simply, I can hear every word you are thinking. Such a shock. Yes, I know.
Their thoughts were, as predicted, mainly centered on my attire and my selective choice of makeup-the dark, visible outline of my kohled eyes, the reflective silver eye shadow that had been carefully applied, and my long, thick lashes, slightly darker than normal, the ends a glistening crimson. My cheeks were, as usual, flushed, as if I had been outside in the cold in little protection. So there really wasn’t a need for any blush. My lips were stained a glossy golden red, gently reflecting the lights. I had my hair teased up, a long, crimson ribbon holding back part of the hair on the right side of my face, the tips of it ending at my shoulders.
Zak was regarding me carefully, his thoughts drifting off. I could feel Caedmin somewhere outside the perimeter, his unease growing as he sensed my distress.
How was I going to get out of this? I thought, a numbness creeping over me, the kind that only showed itself whenever Zarcentyl was close. Thankfully, I managed to keep my facial expression neutral; the only difference was a distant look in my eyes.
Finally, Zak couldn’t stand the grim silence between us. “Well, this has been fun and all,” he clapped his hands together. “But I really must be going. I’ll catch up with you later, Cal.” He embraced me quickly before disappearing into the crowd.
I felt a headache coming on. Not that the glass-shattering music didn’t contribute. The stress had been building for a while. The numbness eased into me, remembering the shape of my limbs. I wasn’t surprised when I felt a cold hand on my bare shoulder. My nightmare had arrived.
“Zar,” I sighed, casually brushing his hand off my shoulder. His presence was nearly overwhelming-cold, powerful, and menacing. I turned to face him.
I don’t know why I was shocked. I had grown up with him-the late night sleepovers, the secrets, the gossip. All that good stuff. He just looked like a taller, colder version of when I’d last seen him.
"_____________" <---- Zar's first words

Will post a general idea of Zarcentyl later. Feedback, please? Oh, and I need help with his first words. Advice? (copyrighted names and ideas. Thanks!)


message 2: by Rosalyn (last edited Dec 04, 2010 06:04PM) (new)

Rosalyn Leigh (t-rose) wow Britton this is great. i enjoyed the shift in dimensions--i can't really describe the transition from the first part of the story to the second part where it became a first pov. in any case, both parts were written well. they never mirrored one another, it was though two different stories where being told under the same light, yet they are obviously threaded in a simultaneous fashion. you pulled that off really well. what i don't understand, however, is the time frame of the story(though i imagine you may reveal this later) given the names and i have to say, the ribbon in Cal's hair. makes me sound crazy, i know, but i can't help myself. another thing i was curious about is how old they are in the first part of the story or if that is something i should even be concerned about it, meaning, is this just Cal's fantastical imagination or is it a memory? all in all, i found this quite entertaining, your writing style is beautiful, descriptive when and where it's fitting and it just left me awe-stricken when i reached the last lines.

as far as Zar's first words are concerned...hmm...sounds like a fun task to figure out. i wish i had more of an idea of what kind of characteristics you have i store for Zar so that his level of maturity and humor and even his wit (if he has any of these attributes) are established. so far Cal had remembered him as "cold, powerful and menacing" so i'm banking on something like

"I'm surprised you didn't jump. Last time i touched you, you did just that...what's changed?" I was too stunned to answer him. When I didn't, he continued. "You're even more beautiful than the last time i saw you. I know that much."

lol that was fun. i get carried away when someone's looking for advice on a line or an idea to add to their work. sorry =P i just know the rest of you're story is going to be exciting, i couldn't help but to delve into it like that. im so excited by this start of it that you've posted...*sigh* but okay i'll leave you to it =)
"

i would suggest that you separate the paragraphs so it's easier to read, and you should create your own writing folding in the writing section of the group.

good job Britton


message 3: by Spazzy Maz Brit [the insane one] (last edited Dec 05, 2010 02:28PM) (new)

Spazzy Maz Brit [the insane one] (cally215) I was so totally spazzing >< let's see...Cal is 7 and Zar is 9 lol. It is a flashback..I've written a bit more..but I think I've got Zars part figured out.

Zar is...Zar. My friend and I create an actual character profile thing to help us out and he's very..complex? He's obviously much better as a 9 year old lol. His background is pretty bad..anyway, if you want the basic story background just ask :)

It's that 'young love' scenario but zar continuously breaks cals heart and she begins to hate him...if that makes sense. To be frank, he's literally..emotionless. (You'd find out why in the background part lol). He's a smart aleck, sarcastic, and unpredictable.

My friend and I both adore him lol. Haha. Cal is very rebellious and loves to be recognized, hence her dark colors in the light crowd thing thing haha.

Anyway, I can't tell you how much I'm thanking you cause, to be honest, I don't think I'm a very good writer. I needed the confidence boost :)


Spazzy Maz Brit [the insane one] (cally215) Okay, I lied. Lol.

I spaced and said 'I wrote more' and I forgot that I posted everything :P my bad, lol


message 5: by Rosalyn (new)

Rosalyn Leigh (t-rose) hey hey hey. don't even go there Brit...you write very well! in that case, im glad you got that boost you needed. and i urge you to continue this. btw i do like cal and zar very much so far. both of them seem complex to me. and no i won't ask for the background stuff. i trust that however you organize this story, it will be revealed. im saying this cuz i don't like any snippets of what the upcoming plot might look like. in other words, i like surprises =)


Spazzy Maz Brit [the insane one] (cally215) It's not really a surprise lol. I actually think you'd understand everything better if I did tell you haha.

See, it's like Cal and Zak. Cal is very flirty and has absolutely no problem getting a guy lol. Zak is Luxas brother. 'luxa is my friends charrie. Lux and cal HATE each other lol. So it's like an inside joke cause cal and zak have that 'on again off again' relationship ^^

I really don't mind posting it, it just a little complicated and long lol. Our hope is to eventually get this published :)


message 7: by Rosalyn (new)

Rosalyn Leigh (t-rose) ok sounds good. what do you mean by "luxa is my friends charrie"? you mean...character? sorry i guess now im the one spazzing hahaha anyway ya i understand =)


Spazzy Maz Brit [the insane one] (cally215) Yep. We are writing this together, alternating chapters. Lol.

Okay. So the book in general is set in the future. Like, centuries in the future. *zooms to the past* Okay, so the US (generic country) has done something to piss _________ off. So china (being a major manufacturing country) produces a bomb the size of a pinhead with the power of 3 nuclear bombs and gives it to ___. That country somehow manages to turn most of the other countries againts the US, also.

So, the US somehow gets some of these bombs and its basically WWIII. The scientists figured something like this would happen and built cities underground. Eventualy, they took the healthiest people down there to ensure mankinds survival.

Previous to htis, they also brought animals down there of every kind to breed so they wouldn't die out, either.

Mankind is down there for centuries. The scientists used animal DNA and put it in the humans to help ensure survival when they went to the surface again, since they had no idea what was waiting for them.

Well, basically the world regenerated itself and everything was as close to perfect as can be. Even the extinct animals came back.


message 9: by Rosalyn (new)

Rosalyn Leigh (t-rose) sounds exciting. since you're into that kind of genre, you might like Carina's writing. She's a moderator here and she's working on an amazing story called the Demon Queen as well as other pieces which center themselves around a paranormal/dystopian-esque nature. go ahead and give that a go. i promise you won't be disappointed =)


Spazzy Maz Brit [the insane one] (cally215) Alright, lol :) I'll be sure to post anything new that I write on here for you :)

Again, thanks so much. I was like, stunned when I read the review. I feel a lot better knowing I'm not a complete failure...only at life lol ;)


Spazzy Maz Brit [the insane one] (cally215) Break any hearts lately, Cal? Because it wouldn’t surprise me,” he sneered. 
My eyes widened a little in shock. Yes, I hadn’t seen him in 7 or so years, but… I wasn’t expecting the change. His voice had deepened considerably, and he was taller. Much taller. And he had become thinner, leaving what was left of his baby fat in his childhood and replacing it with hard, lean muscle. 
“What did you expect? Did you really think I wouldn’t have changed over the years?” his eyes mirrored his tone: devoid of any emotion. 
“My personal life is none of your business!” I snap automatically, but we both know it’s just reaction. 
“You’re just as moody as I remember,” he chuckled. I narrowed my eyes but said nothing, letting him read the continuous stream of cuss words I was throwing at him mentally. 
“Tsk, tsk. Cal, you know you shouldn’t be cussing in your head. What if your mother heard?” His tone of voice was reprimanding. I felt myself stiffen, my muscles locking in place. That was a low blow, even for him. 
“You don’t know anything about my mom, Zarcentyl. Don’t you dare say you do,” I spat, curling my hands into fists. 
Zar’s gaze was heavy as he stared at me. Finally, he just said, “If only things could have been different, Cal.” He reached for my arm.
“Did I mention the kick in the groin you’ll be receiving if you touch me?” I said calmly, the underlying tone filled with anger.
“What did I ever do to make you think that I care about what you say? Come on, we’re expected elsewhere,” he said impatiently, firmly grasping my arm. 


message 12: by Rosalyn (new)

Rosalyn Leigh (t-rose) oho hell ya! this is great Brittin. i love the immediacy and the realness of the dialogue and your descriptiveness in the situation taking place in the scene is right on. please.keep.writing.this. =)


Spazzy Maz Brit [the insane one] (cally215) Lol, thanks. I think that gives you a good idea of what Zar is like--he couldn't care more. Lol.


Spazzy Maz Brit [the insane one] (cally215) message 16: by Xo. Brittin&Jace .oX 20 minutes ago
Caedmin formed quickly in front of us, his sharp teeth showing as he growled at Zarcentyl. While he couldn’t read my direct thoughts, he could still sense my emotions. And I had made it clear I didn’t want to be where Zar was taking me.
“A guard dog, Cal? Really?” Zar yawned, looking at an imaginary watch on his free hand. “we’re running late. Well, not anymore,” he snapped his fingers and everything froze except for me and him, as well as any other being that had control over time.
Fortunately, no one in the crowd did. Everyone was still as statues-the glasses tipped back, the liquid halfway to their mouths, Caedmin was staring at the space where I was, and the people who had been dancing were caught in mid-stride.
“Was that really necessary? Or are you just trying to show off?” I demanded, my eyes carefully following the frozen movement around us out of habit.
“It was definitely just me showing off,” he smirked lazily, stopping at the entrance to a nearly hidden alley. No light filtered through the piles of old and decaying crates that blocked the entrance. Every instinct told me not to enter.
Zarcentyl closed his eyes, concentrating and murmuring something under his breath. I didn’t bother paying attention; I was too busy trying not to inhale the appalling stench emanating from the alley.
The air blurred around us, and the breeze picked up considerably. The noise grew and I had a hard time replying to the millions of questions threading their way into my mind.
Zarcentyl was watching me closely, no doubt trying to comprehend all the confusing thoughts.

reply | edit | delete | flag *
I'm a little iffy on this piece--I was forcing myself to write if you know what I mean :/


message 15: by Amina (new)

Amina  (journalistam) Is this continuing? And why didn't you post it under ur thread in the other group where I read it?!


Spazzy Maz Brit [the insane one] (cally215) *spazzes* yeah, so far the three posts above go in order and I'm posting as I write it lol. I loose track of where I post it lol))


message 17: by Amina (new)

Amina  (journalistam) You should put all this togheter and post it under ur riritngs. Another great bit :D


message 18: by Rosalyn (new)

Rosalyn Leigh (t-rose) Xo. Brittin&Jace .oX wrote: "message 16: by Xo. Brittin&Jace .oX 20 minutes ago
Caedmin formed quickly in front of us, his sharp teeth showing as he growled at Zarcentyl. While he couldn’t read my direct thoughts, he could sti..."



alright. this is great, as usual. now of what you have posted so far has failed me. not remotely. i want to say though, that i'm not getting the feelig that Cal is annoying and spoiled(i think you mentioned that in one of your earlier posts) so if that's what you're intention is....eh..i guess i need to read more about her to get more of a feel of the kind of personality she's supposed to have. so far she seems annoyed rather than annoying if you get my drift. on that note, i must say that i love Zar. that's your use of dramatic irony speaking to me because it's clear that Cal can't stand him-er at the moment at least. lol i suspect that she probably has a strong love for him deep down inside of her. otherwise, i like how this is going, immensely.

i have to agree with amina. you reall should create your own writing folder and post your work in the typical style by making a writing folder on your profile as well and then pot the links to your writing in your folder to keep us updated. for one thing, it tends to get a little diffiult to read it directly from here. also, why don't you try your hand at separating your posts into chapters and it wouldn't hurt to make them a tad bit longer(i mean you don't have to). im only saying this so that you don't feel rushed or obligated to post something each and every time an idea comes to mind. it's all right to lengthen your posts and put them up every few days ok? nonetheless i look forward to more of this!


message 19: by Rosalyn (new)

Rosalyn Leigh (t-rose) Xo. Brittin&Jace .oX wrote: "Lol, thanks. I think that gives you a good idea of what Zar is like--he couldn't care more. Lol."

that makes him all the more endearing =)


Spazzy Maz Brit [the insane one] (cally215) You are dead on with Cal lol. She's not so much annoying, but more spoiled as you say. My guess is I'll probably change it a little...I usually do lol. I don't think I've met a person who doesn't like zar lol ^^

I think I do have the first part in a folder on my page, but I don't use my computer often unless I'm writing so it's difficult since I'm on my iPod. I shall see what I can do, though :)

Thanks for all your support, guys :)


Spazzy Maz Brit [the insane one] (cally215) The full first chapter will be on my page in a matter of minutes :)

Thanks for all the encouragement and stuff, guys :) I appreciate it ^^


Spazzy Maz Brit [the insane one] (cally215) Okay. Here's the link to the final version of chapter one...I think:

http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/2...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 2:

http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/2...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And Chapter 3:

http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/2...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am working on Chapter 4..I'll see what I can do :) Feedback is, as usual, greatly appreciated :) Thanks!


Spazzy Maz Brit [the insane one] (cally215) *pokes* anyone there?


Spazzy Maz Brit [the insane one] (cally215) haha. FOUND SOMEONE!


message 29: by Rosalyn (new)

Rosalyn Leigh (t-rose) hey brit i didn't forget about your story. i'll continue reading it as soon as i get a full opportunity. i haven't been online that much lately and its hard to meet everybody's needs and not to mention school... but i promise i will catch up on your writing =)


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