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Other > Polygamy & Polyandry

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message 1: by Emma (last edited Nov 29, 2010 09:02AM) (new)

Emma (zeeberg) So. In some parts of the world, and in some relegions, it is okay for a person, usually a man, to have more than one life-partner, be married to more than one person.

The question is, is it alright? Should it be legal to marry more than one person? Why? And why not?

Here is a link for Pologamy and Polyandy:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polygamy

These are the countries where it is "recognised under civil law":

Afghanistan
Algeria
Bahrain
Bangladesh
Brunei
Burkina Faso
Cameroon
Chad
CAR
Comoros
Congo
Djibouti
Egypt
Ethiopia
Gabon
The Gambia
India1
Indonesia
Iran
Iraq
Jordan
Kuwait
Libya
Malaysia
Maldives
Mali
Mauritania
Morocco
Myanmar
Niger
Oman
Pakistan
Palestine
Qatar
Saudi Arabia
Senegal
Singapore1
Somalia
South Africa
Sri Lanka1
Sudan
Syria
Tanzania
Togo
Uganda
UAE
Western Sahara
Yemen
Zambia



message 2: by Amina (new)

Amina  (journalistam) It's alright for men to have four marriages in our relegion.


message 3: by Emma (new)

Emma (zeeberg) Are women allowed too? Or is it just men?


message 4: by Rayne (new)

Rayne | 49 comments In Ireland if you do it I either think it's illegal or it's just plain wrong!!


message 5: by Emma (new)

Emma (zeeberg) I also do not like the idea of marrying more than one person. Marriage is a comitment to a person, a promise to give them love and care and hold on to them. To divide that between various people.. *Shakes head* that just seems wrong to me. Also, the person who married more than one person will have sex with more than one person while married. That can easily create jalousy between the married people and thus a bad atmosphere and a ruined marriage. Also, in matters that the partners must agree on or compromise on, things can get rather ugly I'd say. The person who has married various people can side with someone and it can lead to tears anf accusations of favourising, which could be true, which again would make it worse.


message 6: by Amina (new)

Amina  (journalistam) Just men. And before you say that's not fair: I'll tell you two reasons that I can deudce from this commandement.

1) If a women got married multiple times, she wouldn't know which babies, who's.

2)There is a greater number of women and man... if men werent allowed to marry more than once, their would be a lot of women who would go unmarried.

And also, because a man is the bread-winner of a house. he can do that for more than one wives. A woman can't help out in every husbands house. That would get crazy.


message 7: by Emma (new)

Emma (zeeberg) 1) So? If they're all living in a household and married, it wouldn't really matter.

2) Funny how this has never been an issue in countries where it this dosen't happen.

Well no. Not ere they're not. A woman is perfectly capable of supporting a family, just as well as a man. Sometimes even better. It might not be so where you live, but it certainly is so here. My mom supports half the household, so does the moms of all my friends. No wait, those who have singlemothers support all of the household, with some help from the state. Just like the single dads support their household with some help from the state.


message 8: by Lauren (new)

Lauren I agree with Emma.


message 9: by Kylee (new)

Kylee (kyleerae23) What do you mean, the man is the bread-winner? Women are perfectly capable of supporting themselves, as Emma pointed out.

I do not agree with polygamy... to be copletely honest, it kinda freaks me out. How can women be ok with their husband being with other women? And for the matter, how can a man even feel right doing that? It definitely doesn't seem like love to me, and I don't think people should be together unless they love each other.

This is going to sound mean and horrible when I write it but I'm not really sure how else to explain it... to me, polygamy makes me think of breeding livestock too much. I'm not trying to insult anyone or anything, I just couldn't think of a better way to word it.


message 10: by Annemarie (new)

Annemarie Carlson (annielawlz) | 470 comments I would be okay with polygamy in those countries if the woman could marry multiple men and not the other way around also.


message 11: by Amina (new)

Amina  (journalistam) I don't think a man, or a woman, could take living togheter with multiple partners. That would create confusion and a lot of badness, to be honest. And it would be so weird not knowing who's child is who.

I didn't mean a women cann't earm for er family... I was talking about lookng after the household... as in the work at home. It would be crazy if she had, say, 3 husbands and their households to take care of.


message 12: by Emma (new)

Emma (zeeberg) Right. 'Cause it isn't weird having sex with multiple people while you're married.

But a man is perfectly capable taking care of a household. A woman dosen't have to take care of the household by herself, they can do it together, equaly. Sometimes the man even does more than the woman. It's not impossible to share the householding, in fact that's how it's usually done where I live. So the woman wouldn't have to take care of three households, because they'd all help each other.


message 13: by Annemarie (new)

Annemarie Carlson (annielawlz) | 470 comments Yeah, woman shouldn't have to talk care of the household. Shouldn't be sexist.

I think if everyone in the "marriage" is okay with it, then I guess its their business... But if everyone isn't okay with it.... then... that's bad.


message 14: by Amina (new)

Amina  (journalistam) Well, these were what I could deduce, I think it would be weird being pregnant and nopt knwing who's child it is.

If personally, I wouldn't like my husband having another wife... and like if I don't want it to happen, he shouldn't. It's not only the guys choice, he should have his first wife's consent.


message 15: by Emma (new)

Emma (zeeberg) 4124211 Well, these were what I could deduce, I think it would be weird being pregnant and nopt knwing who's child it is.

- It would. But not any weirder than living with a man who was also married to someone else, had sex with that someone, kids ewith that someone. Who loved that someone.


message 16: by Amina (new)

Amina  (journalistam) Yeah, that is true, but their wouldn't be any confusion about whos kid is who.


message 17: by Emma (new)

Emma (zeeberg) No, but there'd be a lot of other confusion and Bleh.


message 18: by Amina (new)

Amina  (journalistam) No. What confusion?


message 19: by Emma (new)

Emma (zeeberg) Who does he love more? Why is he having sex with her tonight? Why is he taking her party in this? Why did he buy her that, and I got this? How come they went there without me? What's he doing now? Is he with her now?

Amongts others.


message 20: by Amina (new)

Amina  (journalistam) That's jealousy... not confusion. And I said, the first wife shoud be consented first, if she's okay with it then there's no problem


message 21: by Emma (new)

Emma (zeeberg) Oh, so jealousy is alright to have in a relationship. Gotcha. And is the first wife consented? Or do you believe she should be?


message 22: by Amina (new)

Amina  (journalistam) Yes, she should be consented because havin jealousy in a relationship isn't right. Like I have this great-aunt who lives with her husbands other wife. She's okay with it.


message 23: by Emma (new)

Emma (zeeberg) And that's fair enough. I'm not exactly saying that it's not peoples own choice, I'm just arguing why i think it's "bleh" and why I think women should be able to have more husbands, if men are able to have more wives.

Okay, so should. That means she's not always though, dosen't it?


message 24: by Amina (new)

Amina  (journalistam) Nope. And if she's not, the husband should refrain frum such a decision.


message 25: by Emma (new)

Emma (zeeberg) If nothing else, we agree on that. If this happened, which is does, the first wife should have as much of a say in it as the husband. In fact, they should just get a group marriage. That'd be alright. Instead of the man having 2 wives of the wife having ti husbands, they could all just marry each other and solve it :)


message 26: by Annemarie (new)

Annemarie Carlson (annielawlz) | 470 comments Amina wrote: "Well, these were what I could deduce, I think it would be weird being pregnant and nopt knwing who's child it is.

If personally, I wouldn't like my husband having another wife... and like if I d..."


There's such a thing as paternity tests.


message 27: by Amina (new)

Amina  (journalistam) Yeah, these tests haven't been around forever. The commandement was sent down to our Prophet 1400 years ago..


message 28: by Annemarie (new)

Annemarie Carlson (annielawlz) | 470 comments Yes, but I'm talking about now. Now, if they wanted to have multiple husbands, its not like you wouldn't know which children are which.


message 29: by Amina (new)

Amina  (journalistam) Well, a commandment stays a commandment. I'm sure there were other reasons too, but I was telling you about the one I could think of.


message 30: by Amina (new)

Amina  (journalistam) Well, a commandment stays a commandment. I'm sure there were other reasons too, but I was telling you about the one I could think of.


message 31: by Amina (new)

Amina  (journalistam) Well, a commandment stays a commandment. I'm sure there were other reasons too, but I was telling you about the one I could think of.


message 32: by Annemarie (new)

Annemarie Carlson (annielawlz) | 470 comments Alright.

I pretty sure I get your point.


message 33: by Amina (new)

Amina  (journalistam) There's enough love to give multiple people without lessening your love for one or the other. But I get what you mean. I only said it's fine if men get married four times in our relegion. For me, I'd never allow it. You know, in the future. I'm a real jealous person :P


message 34: by Kylee (new)

Kylee (kyleerae23) It just seem so wrong to me... You should give all of your love to one person. I mean, that's the point of bein in love.


message 35: by Amina (new)

Amina  (journalistam) Getting married to multiple people, mary..

And rowan, I already said, there's enough love to love multiples without lessening ur love for one!


message 36: by Rayne (new)

Rayne | 49 comments Hey, Amina!!
I wrote a new story called Hunted.
Here's the description!!
P.S Its pretty long!!

Four teenagers.
A Dangerous jungle.
Hunted.
Logan found himself in a jungle out of nowhere. So did Lucy, Hayden and Aria.
To survive they must kill and try to get out of this dangerous jungle together.
Logan's the leader; he's a great shooter and has good knowledge. But he doesn't work in teams, and the only reason he's pulling these guys around is because Aria.
Aria the one who can behead and kill anything with literally anything wants to get out of this place more than anything.
Hayden is the navigator and the one who can fix any injury within minutes. Hayden is still trying to figure out why there here.
Lucy knows her way around wild life place, knowing what might be the rare animals and the gentlest out of the team, but can kick ass when action happens.
Together they must fight the wild mutant animals that are sent to hunt them and they soon discover this is a game; someone wants to know who can survive out of all this.
They want to know who the best survivor is.
Unwanted emotions begin to rise and it becomes harder and harder to survive in this jungle.
Who will survive and who will be hunted?

http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/2...
Hope you like it!!


message 37: by Amina (new)

Amina  (journalistam) Cool, I'll check it out when I've got some time :D


message 38: by Kylee (new)

Kylee (kyleerae23) Amina wrote: "Getting married to multiple people, mary..

And rowan, I already said, there's enough love to love multiples without lessening ur love for one!"


Yeah but like I said, I believe in true love, and the whole point of true love is that it's one person that you don't love like anyone else, that you don't feel about anyone else that way. and I think if you really love someone, you should be happy being with them and not want to be with anyone else!


message 39: by Amina (new)

Amina  (journalistam) I differ in that view you have; I think a person can really, really love mre than two people...


message 40: by meri (new)

meri (meri_is_a_saltedfish) | 127 comments haha...i don't know..we may think that it's wrong but ...if the past if a little bit different and it's women who could have four husbands..wow! we may have a different view about this....

just saying..


message 41: by Siareen, Moderator (new)

Siareen | 533 comments Mod
in the past, my religion [judaism] had no problem with it [it didnt say anything against it or for it].
but around the middle ages, one of our scholars forbid it, and everyone goes by him in this.
in short, its one of those things that was acceptable in the ancient world, but in modern times it is wrong.


message 42: by meri (new)

meri (meri_is_a_saltedfish) | 127 comments Siareen wrote: "in the past, my religion [judaism] had no problem with it [it didnt say anything against it or for it].
but around the middle ages, one of our scholars forbid it, and everyone goes by him in this. ..."


oh...that's an interesting point. i'll check it out...;)


message 43: by Siareen, Moderator (new)

Siareen | 533 comments Mod
:)


message 44: by David (new)

David | 2 comments swm from canada and i am all for polyandry any women interested? tdasonwrva@gmail.com


message 45: by David (new)

David | 2 comments Emma-Quinn wrote: "Are women allowed too? Or is it just men?"

Emma-Quinn wrote: "And that's fair enough. I'm not exactly saying that it's not peoples own choice, I'm just arguing why i think it's "bleh" and why I think women should be able to have more husbands, if men are able..."
a women should be having 10 husbands if she wish


message 46: by Mindy (new)

Mindy Diamond | 1 comments I don’t think polygamy and polyandry should be legal, but I do think it is ridiculous that it is illegal while cheating isn’t. In other words, if it was up to me I would make cheating against the law, to the point where one partner can bring the other to court for their violation of the marriage. However it seems a double standard to be able to sleep with two women without the first one’s consent or knowledge, while being upfront and legally marrying them both isn’t legal.


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