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Iviana (The Sign Painter) Mʘ‿ʘP (thesignpainter) Ticked off at something/someone/life? Here's the place to express yourself.

Shay, please allow mild language here. Sometimes, it's the only way ti truly express oneself.

Notes to everyone: because some topics are sensitive, please respect the rant-er and don't spam. Aka, no "..." or "It's okay" when it's not or "yup" or "yeah..." you get my point. If you don't have something good to say on the topic, don't say anything at all.

message 2: by Shayla (last edited May 30, 2011 03:50PM) (new)


Iviana (The Sign Painter) Mʘ‿ʘP (thesignpainter) Is it normal that I knew what depression was at the age of 7? Because I don't think so. And apparently, there's a girl at my school who's going through exactly how I felt back then. Difference? She's a sophomore. So it makes me wonder: am i gonna feel that crap again when I'm fifteen? Or is it gonna be worse? What's more: I held a kitchen knife to my chest in fourth grade and very nearly began to slit my wrists. I did it once, but I couldn't do it again. I'm not like that, but then I'm wondering: what would have happened of I did it again... And again... Would it stop my depression? 'Cause seriously, I don't know what to do. And I'm scared, because I went into the kitchen again last week. I think you can guess what I was thinking. A friend reminded me of it.
I don't want to sound like a whiney sh*t, but after saying that, I guess I kind of am. I can't tell my friends, because they'd tell my parents, and I don't want to go to therapy again. And they'd also tell me "It's gonna be okay" because I already tried. I don't want to hear that anymore. I've said "I don't..." way too many times for my taste.
Worse: my mom's pissed off at me for my teacher's mistake with my grade. Aka: I have a B- in LC and also a B+ in math.

Hufflepuffs = spares.
I don't even care. I'm the spare who's the black hole for all my friends to rant to, and yet I have no one to tell. Strike that. I have one person. But I can't tell her. I'm too scared to. Not a Gryffindor obviously, considering I can't even talk to the one person who will listen. Pathetic. I'm stupid compared to my best friend. She's got A's in everything, and yet, I'm the one who helped her with half her homework. Ironically, I got three F's on the stuff I was helping her with. More irony: it was math.
Yup. A spare with useless knowledge.
Hm, what else? Oh wait, there's more: a seventh grader--all the seventh graders in my conservatory, rather--is better than me in piano. He gets second place and I get honorable mention just because I can 'express myself in my music.' If I was actually expressing myself, every single piece I play would sound absolutely horrible. Swimming, some kid three years younger than me beats my time. And I though I swam pretty damn fast.
My cousin (he's six) can speak fluent Vietnamese and I can only utter phrases. Oh wait: I can write in a language that doesn't even exsist.
Back to school.
Science. This kid had a three page essay on string theory. Only thing is, it was on how it's not true or whatever. Then he started going off about quantum physics.
Yeah. So I'm struggling in school, I'm struggling out of school, I'm thinking of suicide except I can't do that because I still love my family and friends and waifus.
Just. A freaking. Spare. Who can't. Get. Her own. Thoughts. Straight.
Just. A freaking spare person. Who is stupid enough to burden some poor person out there with the bullcrap that's happening in her life.
Sorry to wasting your time.
-the apologetic Sign Painter

message 4: by Shayla (new)

Shayla (shaylaalexander) Awwwwww. Poor Ivi. Do you need a hug?

Iviana (The Sign Painter) Mʘ‿ʘP (thesignpainter) I've gotten my share f virtual hugs for the night. I suppose anoter couldn't hurt.

message 6: by Shayla (new)

Shayla (shaylaalexander) *huggles* Better?

message 7: by Cloudy Storms (new)

Cloudy Storms (cloudstrife) | 43 comments Really, I don't think this would be a waste of time. My life is a waste of time itself. (:D It's fun, though) But the whole point of this topic is to share your feelings. So, everyone has struggling through life. It just takes courage to admit you have struggles and push on foward. Don't look to other's abilities. Look at yourself. What can you do? You're a master at writing, you can beat anyone in a argument, and other talents I don't even about.

Struggling through life is almost like singing. If you sing while listening to the very song you're singing, you'll find you'd want to copy every note, every pitch of that song. It's hard, and I've tried it billions of times. Then that expeirance intimadates you, and you refuse to push on. That's, what I started to do. Then my friends asked me to sing, and surprisingly, my voice felt better, and I was probaly the star of my whole class.

You see, don't pelt yourself on what you can't do. Use what you can do and push foward. That's my advice.

And yes, it's very late, it's been a year since you posted that, but oh well, advice is advice.

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