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Random Queries > Do You Talk like a Girl?

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message 1: by Sarah (new)

Sarah | 13815 comments I don't think that you can tell someone's gender from their writing, but I do think there is some genderlect (nice word!) out in the real world. It's a combination of language and other cues. I know that in my life I have cultivated a bit of guy-speak to get on in music. I did not want to be the "chick singer." I hate it when there's a woman in a band and she doesn't have to lift an amp or know how to set her own tones or run a soundboard. I know I have to be aggressively knowledgeable when I walk into a club or an instrument store, or I'll be ignored.

So that's my definition - aggressively knowledgeable. Given my personality, I'd prefer to be agreeably knowledgeable, but I have to front a bit to be taken seriously.


message 2: by Félix (new)

Félix (habitseven) In my experience, I've found that women communicate differently. Here's an example I've seen.

When I, as do many men that I know, give someone driving directions, I tend to give succinct, straight forward "Turn left at 5th street, go straight to the third traffic light, bear right, and go for about a half mile to the Costco on the right" directions.

On the other hand, I often hear women give somewhat "softer" directions. Example, "Go down this road for, I don't know, a while. Now, the road will bend around several times but don't be concerned -- just keep going until you see that WalMart. It's on the right, I think."

Both methods seem to work okay, by the way.


message 3: by RandomAnthony (new)

RandomAnthony | 14536 comments and a story by RA as written by a female, so hmmm...

Whoa, what? I'm WAY behind on my threads...:) I hope I sounded like Virginia Woolf or someone...

I work with a lot of women but I still don't pretend to understand the way women communicate. I respect it. But I don't pretend to understand it, at least some of the time.


message 4: by Kevin (new)

Kevin  (ksprink) | 11469 comments i do the same thing when the avon lady is coming over. i leave hot glue guns, celine dion DVD's and cosmo mags laying around so i don't look totally like a sucker waiting for a new fragrance to come out


message 5: by Kevin (new)

Kevin  (ksprink) | 11469 comments (i was tempted to answer this thread topic with: "only during sex" and then i decided it was prob funny only to me)


message 6: by Phoenix (new)

Phoenix (phoenixapb) | 1619 comments I don't understand female directions, I guess I'm not observant enough or something. I need street names, rights and lefts, North, South, East, West, and the like. I will never notice the blue house with the white trim on the corner about 1/2 a mile down the road...I just won't...sorry. shrugging smiley 2 Pictures, Images and Photos


message 7: by Phoenix (new)

Phoenix (phoenixapb) | 1619 comments My husband can interpret both male and female directions, which fasinates me. He will also ask for directions, or where something is in a store...I on the other hand, will not do either of those things unless forced or until I've exhausted all other possibilities.


message 8: by Rebecca (new)

Rebecca White (rebecca_white) | 1028 comments No, I definitely don't talk like a girl. I teach. God forbid!

I'm sure I talk like a woman to some extent, although I'm more definite, I know.

Sex differences in speech are fascinating. A linguist named Deborah Tannen has spent a lot of time studying these differences and hers is the definitive work on the subject. There do tend to be differences, but she also keeps reiterating, "these are generalities."


message 9: by Lori (new)

Lori I'll have to ask Richard when he comes home what he does with this - he consults people on speaking/presentations/communiction, etc. Rebecca, I do know he got a lot of good basic info from Tannen's book when he was first switching over from acting/directing to corporate communication skills.

I would bet when he coaches individuals he would try to get them somewhat in the middle. Women to give info in a more forceful linear logical fashion, guys to get to the underlying feelings of their audience by using description and imagery.

I think I am afflicted with girlspeak, meanering around, and yet on previous MBs where I don't use my real name many thought I was male! I do know I've been surprised myself, thinking for months that someone was male and then finding they were female. Not as much reversed, but it also definitely happened.


message 10: by Stacia (the 2010 club) (last edited Oct 25, 2010 02:34PM) (new)

Stacia (the 2010 club) (stacia_r) Barb wrote: "I think I talk like a "girl", but it's not something I do intentionally. It's just the way I talk."

This.

Although, I do tend to say "good lord" and "like" more than I really should. Those aren't usually words that you'll hear coming out of a guy's mouth.


message 11: by Lobstergirl, el principe (new)

Lobstergirl | 24357 comments Mod
The asking-for-directions stereotype doesn't work in my family. My sister and I will drive around for 15 minutes trying to figure out where we are with my father getting angrier and angrier that we're not stopping to ask directions.

When giving directions, I will use street names, directions (left, right, north, south), major landmarks, approximate number of blocks, bend in the road, crest of the hill. If I know the person I'm giving directions to, I'll try to cater the directions to them - Greek revival house on the corner. Not everyone will know what a Greek revival house looks like but some people will. I won't give mileage because I usually have no idea what the mileage is, but I don't think that's a gender thing.


message 12: by Phoenix (new)

Phoenix (phoenixapb) | 1619 comments It's probably not a gender thing LG, I'm just stereotyping...shame on me!


message 13: by Lobstergirl, el principe (new)

Lobstergirl | 24357 comments Mod
No, it's not you. It's all around us in the media. There was a national news story a few months ago about how many hours per year men wasted by not asking for directions. Shame on the news networks for reporting on such stupidity.


message 14: by Lori (new)

Lori It was probably a scientist research study that they spent millions on.


message 15: by janine (new)

janine | 7715 comments yes, i probably talk like a girl, but i don't meander. i'm usually too economic in my speech.


message 16: by janine (new)

janine | 7715 comments i use so few words they don't charge me.


message 17: by Kevin (new)

Kevin  (ksprink) | 11469 comments i have an unlimited plan. good thing too. my mouth would bankrupt me otherwise


message 18: by Jim (new)

Jim | 6485 comments Always good advice, "Don't let your mouth run up a bill your checkbook can't cover."


message 19: by Félix (new)

Félix (habitseven) Yappy tax. Gotta like the sound of that.


message 20: by Aynge (new)

Aynge (ayngemac) | 1202 comments I don't think so, unless I'm going on about makeup or shoes or something 'feminine.'

One guy I dated said I sounded 'Californian' and I took offense at first. And then I realized that 1) I am Californian, and 2) he was from New York.


message 21: by Jim (new)

Jim | 6485 comments I don't talk like a girl.


message 22: by Kevin (new)

Kevin  (ksprink) | 11469 comments only when i am wearing my dora the explorer costume


message 23: by Félix (new)

Félix (habitseven) Kevin "El Liso Grande" wrote: "only when i am wearing my dora the explorer costume"

Pictures, please.


message 24: by Angel (new)

Angel Martinez (angelmartinez) | 30 comments Oh, my, do you think I talk like a girl? That would be, like, completely embarrassing, don't you think? I think some people might think so, but I don't want to be judgmental and stuff. Though I think a lot of people do it some of the time, don't you?

*snort*


message 25: by Hanna (new)

Hanna (ohanners) | 202 comments The way I talk changes depending on who I'm talking to...it's not something that stays constant. I tend to focus on carrying the right kind of emotion and body language, so I guess I talk like a girl? Also a lot of the time I find myself mimicking the other person's speech and I try to adapt to the environment I'm in, in order to be understood.

For example, when I went to West Africa last summer I realized I had to fit in somehow since I was there for two months, and before I knew it I was speaking with the Liberian swagger, like, "How de day oh?" And when I came back to Toronto I adjusted back to the 'Torontonian dialect', whatever that is.


message 26: by Félix (new)

Félix (habitseven) Welcome to TC, Hanna.


message 27: by Hanna (new)

Hanna (ohanners) | 202 comments Larry wrote: "Welcome to TC, Hanna."

Thanks, I joined a while ago because I liked the stuff written on the front page but I'm just now revisiting the group. :)


message 28: by Félix (new)

Félix (habitseven) We usually don't welcome anyone until they dive in and make comments. We can always use another Canadian, though.


message 29: by Félix (new)

Félix (habitseven) I won't touch that one.


message 30: by janine (new)

janine | 7715 comments but you did point it out.


message 31: by Félix (new)

Félix (habitseven) I have a job to do here.


message 32: by RandomAnthony (new)

RandomAnthony | 14536 comments Not just a job. A mission. A vocation. I salute you on that one.


message 33: by Félix (new)

Félix (habitseven) A calling.


message 34: by Phil (new)

Phil | 11694 comments It came quietly.


message 35: by Jim (new)

Jim | 6485 comments I second Larry's welcome Hanna.

@Barb - highly doubtful.


message 36: by Phil (new)

Phil | 11694 comments Barb wrote: "Is that possible?"

It is if the kids are still awake.


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