Book Buying Addicts Anonymous discussion

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General > Do you ever feel guilty?

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message 1: by Joseph (new)

Joseph  (bluemanticore) | 1866 comments Mod
Do you ever feel guilty spending so much of your own money on books for yourself? It just seems to me that so many people like family and friends keep commenting that I have too many books, that I spend too much on books. Every so often I feel like it is wrong to spend more on books, like I should be spending it on something else. But it's my money, I worked for it, why shouldn't I spend it as I want, right? What do you think? How do you handle it?


message 2: by Michelle (new)

Michelle Gilmore | 510 comments I sometimes feel guilty too. I also hear that I have too many books, or spend too much money on books from friends and family. But like you, you work for your money, and buying books, whether used or new, isn't anyone else's business. I mean, it's not its some illegal substance that'll cause you to do bodily harm to someone else to get it. Plus, I've realized that everybody has their "thing" where they indulge/ over indulge. I know a few people that love electronic gadgets, and those gadgets cost way more than my books, especially when most of my books are from the used bookstores or library sales. I don't hesitate to remind them of that!


message 3: by Crystalmarie (new)

Crystalmarie (CrystalsNovels) Always do. I have books i've bought and have not touched yet. But continue to buy them. I want to buy a e-reader (nook) so badly, but i dont think i can really part with bargins! I love looking in thrift stores, and finding good reads. At least i am saving money! i dont feel so bad now. haha.


message 4: by Tiffany (new)

Tiffany (herbtiff) | 411 comments I am so with you on the feeling guilty. I live with my brother, his wife, and three kids and I have to sneak my books in. How sad is that? I mostly do that because I don't want to hear - "You bough more books? Where are you going to keep them?" I have books that I have never even read, but I look at it this way - Isn't it a good retirement plan. It will keep my brain active and it's my money!! I have since moving in with my brother and his family certainly reduced the amount of money I spend on books. Not sure if that is good or bad??
I like Michelle's response by pointing out that my habit of buying books which is usually at a bargain price is a lot cheaper than some other hobbies!! I am going to remember that. It's my money and my retirement plan. I will do as I please. Joseph you spend it as you want!!


message 5: by Tracey (last edited Oct 14, 2010 05:28AM) (new)

Tracey (stewartry) Yeah ... The main time I feel guilty is when I've put aside a little money in Paypal, intending it to be savings ... and I blow it on a book auction on eBay. For a while there, my sister, who doesn't live in the same house, felt the need to comment any time she caught me with a bag of books from a library sale. It was infuriating, because I'm an adult and it's my money, and in terms of amounts it's $20 a pop or so a handful of times a year ... Hey, like everyone else said - - some people ski and spend a lot more than I do. Some people shoot heroin and spend a lot more than I do. Some people spend huge amounts more on their phones - I'm bare bones there so that I can spend a little on books.

As someone somewhere pointed out, I'm insulating my house by stacking it with books three deep. So there. :)


message 6: by Tracey (new)

Tracey (stewartry) Crystalmarie wrote: I want to buy a e-reader (nook) so badly, but i dont think i can really part with bargins!

- Exactly! I bought my niece a Kindle for her 18th birthday, and started getting a craving for one - but I'd never give up going to church book sales and "friends of the library" sales and used book stores.

'Course, with Kindle there are a huge number of free and ninety-nine cent books ... but it's just not the same.


message 7: by Michelle (new)

Michelle Gilmore | 510 comments I'm with you Tracey! I don't live some elaborate lifestyle. I don't buy new clothes every week, I don't buy expensive purses, shoes, cell phones etc... Anytime I take time off from work, its a "staycation" not a vacation. I pay my bills. All I do is buy holistic dog food for my dogs, and used books for me. So what?! Sorry, I get grief from certain friends and family for buying a more expensive dog food, and that really irks me too, LOL!


message 8: by Crystalmarie (new)

Crystalmarie (CrystalsNovels) Tracey wrote: "Crystalmarie wrote: I want to buy a e-reader (nook) so badly, but i dont think i can really part with bargins!

- Exactly! I bought my niece a Kindle for her 18th birthday, and started getting a..."


It's totally not the same. For instance, when i became a Nicholas Sparks fan i decided i would hunt down every book of his at a second hand store. Because of the seek and find type of feeling. haha, i now own every book of his, all totally what one book would cost new (although i bought 3 new-that i couldnt find) my husband thought i was crazy.....but in the end, i found everything i was seeking! haha.


message 9: by Tracey (new)

Tracey (stewartry) That's it! It's the thrill of the hunt! You never know what you're going to find second hand. And when it's two or three paperbacks for a dollar, you can pick up books you would never buy full price. You might never read them ... or you might, and love 'em!


message 10: by Batsap (new)

Batsap | 117 comments From reading what others have said, it looks like I'm pretty lucky because I grew up being positively encouraged to amass great piles of books. My mum is a big reader, so it's more likely that she's encouraging me to buy a book, rather than complaining that I've bought more. I still do feel guilty sometimes though, buying a new book, because I have between 70-80 unread books on my shelves. But it's just like having my own personal library, which is cool.

And books, they're a good thing to buy. They make your brain work and you can learn new things from them. So there's no need to feel guilty because you're improving your mind. Now, my comic book obsession on the other hand.... That I feel guilty about!


message 11: by chucklesthescot (new)

chucklesthescot I don't feel guilty at all for my book buying. I don't drink, smoke, go on expensive nights out, or buy designer clothes/shoes/bags, or spend my money on anything else except my cable tv! Besides, most of my books come from charity shops and online trades so my book bill isn't too high.


message 12: by Sal (new)

Sal (ralsbecket) Tracey wrote: "Crystalmarie wrote: I want to buy a e-reader (nook) so badly, but i dont think i can really part with bargins!

- Exactly! I bought my niece a Kindle for her 18th birthday, and started getting a..."



Yeah but the thing with kindle is, you can only purchase books from them. I would go with a Nook or a Kobo. Probably Nook for me.


message 13: by Sal (new)

Sal (ralsbecket) Each time I buy a book I feel guilty. Because I literally have over 100 I haven't read. But I see a book that looks interesting and I buy it thinking I'll read it in the future. Mostly because when I was young I was never allowed to buy books, just borrow them from the library, only on those rare occasions when I worked for money was I allowed to go to a bookstore and then I was only allowed one or two at the most. (With my OWN money!) So I buy what I can, when I can.


message 14: by Beth (new)

Beth (vanburren) | 69 comments I don't feel guilty at all, and I'm lucky enough to be with a guy who actually suggests going to the bookstore! He doesn't read at all, but he knows how much I love my books. He teases me because he wants to buy my jewelry, but I just want more books! He says that there are a lot worse things I could be spending my money on! He buys lottery tickets, I buy books!


message 15: by Ann (new)

Ann (raindust) | 33 comments I always feel guilty recently. I don't actually buy that many books and it's not as if books are a waste of money. But I think I should spend it on more important things or save up my money.


message 16: by Erin (last edited Feb 12, 2011 12:32PM) (new)

Erin Germain (demiguise) | 97 comments I don't usually feel guilty. Like others have said, it's my money. I pay my bills, make sure my cat is fed and cared for, and if I choose to buy books for myself, that's my business. Fortunately, I had family who definitely encouraged reading, so they just smile indulgently when I say I've picked up some new books. Friends don't always understand, but they'll learn. :)

I do have a Kindle, as well, and to be honest, most of the books on it aren't ones that I bought. There's a wonderful site called feedbooks.com that has lots of public domain books available. I can't give up my paper books, but I love my Kindle, and use it for books I've read so many times I've worn out multiple copies as well as a few that are out of print and might be difficult to find in paper format. It also is a clever way to hide the smuttier books in plain sight. ;)


message 17: by Brandon (new)

Brandon (brandonsg) | 2 comments Another great place to get free eBooks is www.gutenberg.org/, all of them public domain or donated.


message 18: by Laura (new)

Laura I've rarely felt guitly for my book buying...I've only felt really guitly when I spent a big load of cash in one go on a huge purchase of books though.


message 19: by Jessica (new)

Jessica (jarenried) | 6 comments My favorite quotation is from Erasmus, "When I get a little money, I buy books, if there's anything left I buy food and clothes." This has become my motto. I never feel guilty about my collection, because it is there to share with the people around me!


message 20: by Kerra (new)

Kerra | 127 comments Joseph wrote: "Do you ever feel guilty spending so much of your own money on books for yourself? It just seems to me that so many people like family and friends keep commenting that I have too many books, that I..."

I feel very guilty all the time. My problem is not spending to much money on them though. I usually don't buy a new book unless it is one that I have been really waiting for to come out. Usually I got to second hand book stores and get used ones for a dollar or more. However, my biggest problem is that I keep getting to many! It is so hard for me to pass up a free book or a book for a dollar. If it looks interesting I can't resist not getting it. Yard sales are almost an addiction for me, just for the books and figurines I might find. The only problem is that I wouldn't feel so guilty if I didn't live with my parents. I am running out of room to put them all. I like to collect books because I dream of having a library in my home one day. So after reading them I keep them. My entire room is full, my parents book shelves in the living room are full, and I have dozens on the stairs to my room. I am out of lose for words to come up with to say to them. None of them read so they don't understand how I feel. They leave the subject alone most of the time, but complain about me leaving them every where often. Can't help myself. I am currently trying to get a job, so they don't have to deal with it anymore :)


message 21: by Johanness (new)

Johanness (cookiesandcute) | 23 comments ...O-o Well, if you feel troubled about that maybe with money you get or earn split it 10/90 or 20/80, spend the least amount on what ever thing you want/need beside books and everything else on books? =)

That's what I'm thinking of doing once I get a paying job =)


message 22: by Kristy (new)

Kristy (darkly) | 7 comments I think that a lot of people spend money on different things and buying books is one of the more worthwhile things people spend money on. If it becomes a problem (like, "Oops, can't afford the rent this month...") then, yeah, you need to cut back but if you can afford it and just feel bad I say don't. There are people who spend money on music equipment, photography equipment, clothes, makeup, FOOD...good and bad and books are good. =D


message 23: by Muna (new)

Muna (mikkamiffi) I usually feel guilty when I buy a new book and I haven't finished the ones I have at home. And I always have books at home I still haven't finished reading.


message 24: by Enrico (last edited Mar 09, 2011 07:35AM) (new)

Enrico Stanic (enricostanic) | 2 comments Well, yeah, I guess it's inevitable - given the cultural conditioning of western Judeo-Christian society - to feel guilty every now and then, for all of us, for whatever reason.
Personally, I stopped being harsh on myself about my bookbuying habit when I realised with absolute lucidity just how many people out there are making a living selling weapons or cigarettes or perpetuating other people's misery in general while remaining able to live at peace with themselves.
I mean, if politicians still can sleep at night, why shouldn't we BBAAs?...
;)


The Angel in Hell (kitty_cat_angel) i never feel guilty. i just dont touch the new book till i finish the others


message 26: by Muna (new)

Muna (mikkamiffi) Enrico wrote: "Well, yeah, I guess it's inevitable - given the cultural conditioning of western Judeo-Christian society - to feel guilty every now and then, for all of us, for whatever reason.
Personally, I stop..."


That is just beautifully phrased, and I couldn't agree more.


message 27: by [deleted user] (new)

I never feel guilty when I buy a book just ecstatic!


message 28: by Jill (new)

Jill Hutchinson (bucs1960) Guilty?.....never. As a child, our home was filled with books and as an adult I continue the practice. How better to spend some of your disposable income than on the things you love that bring joy to your life and are not harmful to your health or to others........I love Sam's comment "I never feel guilty, just ecstatic"....my thoughts exactly.


message 29: by Noortje (new)

Noortje de Graaff (lordkiwii) | 5 comments I don't feel guilty at all. Books are pleasure, but they also teach you things and educate you. Books are gooooood for you.
And I rather spend my money on a good story than on beer and smokes like some of my mates.


message 30: by Gail (new)

Gail Baugniet I don't own a car (ride TheBus) and I'm not into shoes (wear slippahs most days). So, spending money on books isn't a guilty pleasure, it is a lifeline to the world.
Besides, I don't do guilt.


message 31: by Gail (new)

Gail Baugniet Noortje wrote: "I don't feel guilty at all. Books are pleasure, but they also teach you things and educate you. Books are gooooood for you.
And I rather spend my money on a good story than on beer and smokes like..."


So true, no beer or cigarettes to buy, you can afford every hardcopy on the shelf at B&N !


message 32: by Gail (new)

Gail Baugniet Angelus_nigra wrote: "i never feel guilty. i just dont touch the new book till i finish the others"

I agree, put the new books away so they don't feel old by the time they reach the top of the TBR list!


message 33: by Kerra (new)

Kerra | 127 comments Muna wrote: "I usually feel guilty when I buy a new book and I haven't finished the ones I have at home. And I always have books at home I still haven't finished reading."

I feel that way everytime I get a new book. Whether it was really cheap or for free. However, I try to read a new book at the same time while reading an old book that has been sitting there for a long time and then I don't feel so bad.


message 34: by Kerra (new)

Kerra | 127 comments Enrico wrote: "Well, yeah, I guess it's inevitable - given the cultural conditioning of western Judeo-Christian society - to feel guilty every now and then, for all of us, for whatever reason.
Personally, I stop..."


I also agree with Muna on her post. That was very beautifully said :)


message 35: by Kerra (new)

Kerra | 127 comments Jill wrote: "Guilty?.....never. As a child, our home was filled with books and as an adult I continue the practice. How better to spend some of your disposable income than on the things you love that bring joy ..."

I agree that it is a good thing to read. However, trying to get my little sisters to enjoy it as I do is a pain. Also I know this might be a little weird, but I have had a slight health issue with reading books all the time. I would rather sit at home and read a book than go jogging or swimming in the summer and a doctor told me that I should find a new way to hold my books because I was possibly cutting off the circulation to my hands, lol. Don't know if that is possible, but it is what he said. However, I will never stop reading :)


message 36: by Joseph (new)

Joseph  (bluemanticore) | 1866 comments Mod
Kerra wrote: "Jill wrote: "Guilty?.....never. As a child, our home was filled with books and as an adult I continue the practice. How better to spend some of your disposable income than on the things you love th..."
Kerra, just a thought, but one way I read and get my exercise at the same time is through listening to audiobooks. Just slip on the headphones and go jogging or hop on a treadmill.


message 37: by Amber (new)

Amber (bluebleeder) | 31 comments Sometimes I feel guilty...but it passes quickly. My husband spends loads more money on softball than I do on books...so, I figure if he can spend money on that, I can spend buy books. At least my books will last...softball is over when the game ends.


message 38: by Muna (new)

Muna (mikkamiffi) Kerra wrote: "Muna wrote: "I usually feel guilty when I buy a new book and I haven't finished the ones I have at home. And I always have books at home I still haven't finished reading."

I feel that way everyt..."


Totally, me too. I feel like I'm neglecting the other books.


message 39: by Grammyellen (new)

Grammyellen | 3 comments sometimes yes i do. but my hubby has things he likes and spends money on and he has never denied me access to buying books.


message 40: by Kerra (new)

Kerra | 127 comments Joseph wrote: "Kerra wrote: "Jill wrote: "Guilty?.....never. As a child, our home was filled with books and as an adult I continue the practice. How better to spend some of your disposable income than on the thin..."

Wow, that is a really good idea. Never thought of that. Thanks!


message 41: by Kerra (new)

Kerra | 127 comments Muna wrote: "Kerra wrote: "Muna wrote: "I usually feel guilty when I buy a new book and I haven't finished the ones I have at home. And I always have books at home I still haven't finished reading."

I feel tha..."


It is almost as bad as going on a diet and breaking down and eating chocolate, you feel so guilty. However, I try to put my books in the order I bought them and try to read them that way. Or I will just end up reading the ones I want to read first. I usually only do this with Stephen King because if not then I will end up readin the good ones first :)So I read them in the order I bought them, but when you have so many books it is so hard to do that with! Can't help myself.


message 42: by McKenzie (new)

McKenzie | 45 comments I do feel guilty at times. I will admit that I do spend too much on books a lot of the time. I can go into Borders and drop well over a hundred if not more. I have to limit myself and sometimes I spend hours in there deciding on what to get. And I usually end up going over my personal budget.

My mom says I buy too many books too. When you have as many as I do (over 2000), I can see her point.

But I do get a feeling of happiness and excitement over new books too. :)


message 43: by Lacie (new)

Lacie O'Bryant | 31 comments I sneak books all the time. I have this weird guilty pleasure with hiding books from my husband, because I really have no other vice. My husband is a smoker and he likes energy drinks, so he spends on his vices, but I have nothing except my books. And for some reason, pretending he has no idea I bought a book (even though I know he sees my shelves filling up quickly) makes me feel like I'm sneaky?? I don't know why I enjoy it so much lol. I'll pick up a book at the grocery, or at Sams Club, or most recently, I bought like four books from this reseller store called Ollies, and they actually had a pretty good selection. I just finished the last one, and I mean, who can pass up a brand new book for $2.99? Hardcover?! FOR REALS!

Luckily we live in a ginormous house now and I've got enough space in my sitting room for all of my books. He (My husband) talked about getting me a Kindle but....I don't know, I just have to have the physical thing in my hand. Something about going to secondhand book stores and hunting for things just totally does it for me, lol. And since there isn't a bookstore in the city I live in, it's like, a whole day process, book hunting. I live for it!


message 44: by Debbie (new)

Debbie (debbie_smith) | 43 comments No. Unless I know I should be spending the money on a need. But even then it always works out.


message 45: by Marek (new)

Marek (lostsanity137) | 6 comments I've always figured that if you pay all your bills first, what is leftover can be spent on whatever you want. But that doesn't stop me from feeling guilty when my family makes those comments too. I figure I should be smart and put back a huge savings or something else, but...well, I'd rather buy books.


message 46: by Toni (new)

Toni | 18 comments I feel guilty that I buy way more books than I can read. They pile up and I keep buying more and more when I could be spending the money more responsibly until I have read the books on my shelf. Now I do have a friend who thinks I waste money on books, but she is a smoker and I throw that back at her. $5 a day on cigarettes adds up and books are a much better deal and not bad for you. I am sure everyone spends money on something so we probably should not feel guilty.


message 47: by Kerra (new)

Kerra | 127 comments Toni wrote: "I feel guilty that I buy way more books than I can read. They pile up and I keep buying more and more when I could be spending the money more responsibly until I have read the books on my shelf. ..."

I feel the same way. I smoke too, but I role my own. Much cheaper and leaves extra money a week to buy books. Everyone has guilty habits, but I would rather pick a healthy one over a non-healthy one any day. So when my family members tease me about how much I spend on books, I just say I would rather spend extra money on a good book than some new wrench that you have hundereds of the same kind. They always say that you can have many more uses for a wrench though and is still better than buying a bunch of books that you never read. I keep trying to argue my point, but have recently given up and just no longer care what they think.


message 48: by Cecilia (new)

Cecilia | 2 comments I am so glad I found you all! My habit of buying books way more than I can read has been making me feel very guilty. But then, I can't say no to some 'necessary' books! Every time I go to a bookstore, it just feels like I have to buy one! So baad!
I just feel so "alive" surrounded by books ;) Anyway, now I am actually trying to finish my unread books.


message 49: by Jack (new)

Jack (echoicglory) | 41 comments Yes... And no. I used to when I was in school. The idea of having spent my mother's hard earned money around like it was nothing could guilty trip me into not buying almost everything. But, now that I have my own money to burn -- not so much. Still, it's kinda hard not to be when my friend pointed out I have more books than proper office clothes... Ek...


message 50: by Joseph (new)

Joseph  (bluemanticore) | 1866 comments Mod
Jack wrote: "Still, it's kinda hard not to be when my friend pointed out I have more books than proper office clothes... Ek..."

Jack, when your friend does that, just quote the wise scholar Desiderus Erasmus at 'em: "When I get a little money, I buy books. And if any is left, then I buy food and clothes." :-)


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