Fans of Interracial Romance discussion

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Archived Threads > The blackfemale/whitemale is easily the most depicted interracial pairing

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message 1: by new_user (new)

new_user LOL. Yeah, it probably is true because black males still have a threatening image in some people's minds, unfortunately. But that's changing, one hopes.

message 2: by CaliGirlRae, Mod Squad (new)

CaliGirlRae (rae_l) | 2004 comments Mod
One more! Big Shots *shakes fist at network television*

I still miss that show. :-(

Melissa wrote: "Maybe it's because the old white male producers of these shows desire the beautiful black women of their society"

Mmm could be. After all that's why the BF stereotypes (mammy, sapphire, etc) were put into play by the media. Because WM have always been attracted to BF but society wanted to make a sort of a 'warning' to WM to kill the attraction factor. It's always been there since the beginning but that's an interesting twist you mentioned.

It's a shame that many BW don't believe that other races of men can be attracted to them. A lot of history has shown that it was the case for many years before the US came into power. Even during Greece and Rome's time and before that.

An article that chronicled this used to be online but it's now anymore (I saved an html snapshot if anyone wants it). Maybe things are just swinging back around and the clamp that US society had during the days of Birth of A Nation is losing its hold as IR marriage and relationships continue to grow.

message 3: by Arch , Mod (new)

Arch  | 6624 comments Mod
Maybe a lot of these procedures are married to black women and want to see their reality on TV or movies.

message 4: by [deleted user] (new)

Um, well I would like to say it is taboo, but the truth of the matter is, having dated several white men, a lot of the reason is that black women, for a white male, is the fantasy. In movies/media/comic there is a white man out there rooting for their fellow white men to team up with a black female. This is coming from one of my closest friends who says that the reason that most white men don't approach black women is that they are too intimidated by the black woman's confidence/aura/strength to even approach them. I would guess that this 'fear' spills over into the fantasy realm where because you can't get it in real life, you write/create what it is that you would like to see.
It is like Toni Morrison said, "If there is a book that you want to read, but it hasn't been written yet, you must be the one to write it." I think a lot of these creators/producers want to see this, be in this type of relationship, but they haven't been able to create it for themselves yet. So they live vicariously through media...
Or perhaps it is just it makes good stories.

message 5: by Arch , Mod (new)

Arch  | 6624 comments Mod
If black women is a lot of white men fantasy, I wonder if white men is a lot of black women fantasy.

I will speak for myself. A white man isn't my fantasy.

message 6: by Arch , Mod (new)

Arch  | 6624 comments Mod
Melissa, a white man is not my fantasy. And every other race of men is not my fantasy.

message 7: by Arch , Mod (new)

Arch  | 6624 comments Mod
I don't believe that there are more whites than blacks.

We may see more whites on TV or movies, because a lot of roles aren't written for black people. If Hollywood would be fair to black people, I think we would see a lot black people in movies and shows.

message 8: by [deleted user] (last edited Oct 04, 2010 02:05PM) (new)

The taboo of it comes from stories like "Don't Bring Home a White Boy: And Other Notions that Keep Black Women From Dating Out" by Karyn Langhorne Folan. I personally have some deep deep south roots, and the first time I brought home a date, I think the world stopped and the Apocalypse occured. I get you not, Granny M dropped her fork and started fanning herself. I think personally it is taboo on both sides of the game because everyone is scared of what everyone thinks. Here in MN, bm/ww is so common walking down the street no one even whiffs at it. But I saw something real interesting the other day, I saw an Asian male with an African female. I am not talking African-American, I mean Kenyan, if I heard her dialect correctly... It is the taboo of dating outside your race/culture/ethnicity... I would 'like' to call it taboo because people still have the 'ooooo I'm telling your mama,' feeling behind the different race/culture dating thing, white men are just stubborn enough to ignore it and black women are strong enough to shun it...that is why I think you see more wm/bw in media because it is the first pairing that we have seen after the bm/ww pairings enough.(think Sidney Poitier in Guess Who's Coming to Dinner).

But I digress, there was only the Brandy Cinderella story that starred an Asian male as the lead... Paolo Montalban was his name... But some of my Asian friends said, that wouldn't happen in reality, because most Asian men wouldn't know how to approach a black woman.

There was an article I commented on back in April called The View From the Other Room - What White Men think about dating black Women and I thought it was interesting to read what it was that white men thought about dating a black woman.

I thought it was quite the provoking article...

And I agree with Melissa, everyone is everyone's fantasy...

Really what it boils down to is money. A lot of my friends went to see Romeo Must Die just to see if the late Aaliyah actually hooked up with Jet Li. When Something New came out, same deal, we all wanted to see Sanaa Lathan with Simon Baker. Sometimes it is about catering to an audience. Sometimes it is about catering to your own personal preferences.

message 9: by [deleted user] (last edited Oct 04, 2010 02:04PM) (new)

Perhaps it isn't a black woman's fantasy but more of an 'option'. A lot of women don't see white men as an option for dating. I don't know if it is the race thing or the penis myth (sorry I had to say it because I think it is a factor), but most of the black women that I associate with do not see white men as being an 'option' to date no matter how many times you see it in the media.

message 10: by Arch , Mod (new)

Arch  | 6624 comments Mod
Please everyone, lets follow the rules on here. Danielle doesn't want her quoting anyone. So, as a moderator, I'm asking that if you have quoted someone, please remove the quotes.

message 11: by Arch , Mod (new)

Arch  | 6624 comments Mod
I will speak for myself. I don't see enough black woman/white man pair on TV or movies.

Now, I want to say something about package size and move on.

Everyone race of man comes in different sizes. One race of men is not bigger than the next man, because of his skin color and I don't care how big his feet are.

I hate sterotyping.

Women also comes in different sizes too and I am not talking about their chest size, which they come in different sizes too.

A package size doesn't mean anything or should I say, shouldn't mean anything. The heart is what needs to count.

message 12: by Arch , Mod (new)

Arch  | 6624 comments Mod
I'm not trying to be ugly or anything, but bw/wm is my cup of tea. That's the type of stories that I love reading. That's what I write. That's what I like to see on TV and Movies. I want to see more black women in other interracial pairing too, but bw/wm is my main interracial theme.

I don't have anything against other interracial pairing and if I have a book with another interracial pairing, I'll read it. Or if it's on TV and Movies, I'll watch it, if it's something that I like watching.

message 13: by Arch , Mod (last edited Oct 04, 2010 03:02PM) (new)

Arch  | 6624 comments Mod

Just because I read and write stories about bw/wm, it doesn't mean that I fantasize about white men. The white man in my life will never be a fantasy to me.

If you or any other woman want to say they fantasize about a certain race man, then that's you all, but I don't fantasize about white men.

I don't see where a preference is a fantasy.

There's not a enough bw/wm for my eyes on TV and Movies. We all don't watch the same shows and I can't speak for anyone, but myself.

I'm not going to list anything.

message 14: by Danielle The Book Huntress , Sees Love in All Colors (last edited Oct 04, 2010 05:29PM) (new)

 Danielle The Book Huntress  (gatadelafuente) | 7314 comments Mod
Just for clarification, is okay to use a pre-existing quote from a book, article, website, other source. The no quoting rule refers to your fellow members. Put your posts in your own words, not in the words of fellow members, or quoting back to them what they said in your post. I hope that makes sense.

message 15: by Danielle The Book Huntress , Sees Love in All Colors (new)

 Danielle The Book Huntress  (gatadelafuente) | 7314 comments Mod
Melissa, just say, @Danielle, regarding comment on ________, and post your reply,

Thanks for following the rules!

message 16: by Danielle The Book Huntress , Sees Love in All Colors (new)

 Danielle The Book Huntress  (gatadelafuente) | 7314 comments Mod
Thanks for joining!

message 17: by Arch , Mod (new)

Arch  | 6624 comments Mod

If you don't mind, please send me a private message, telling me what I have asked.

message 18: by Arch , Mod (last edited Oct 05, 2010 05:41AM) (new)

Arch  | 6624 comments Mod
I just to love watching Boy Meets World. My favorite character was Eric, the older silly brother. Cory was his younger brother. Cory's best friend, Shawn dated the black girl - Angela.

A lot of black women that have screen time with a white man are married to or dating white men in real life.

message 19: by Arch , Mod (new)

Arch  | 6624 comments Mod
I didn't say all the black women that have screen time with white men are married to or dating white men. I have said some of them.

Even some of the white men are married to or dating black women as well.

Every producer is not white.

I use to watch soaps and a huge percentage of the time, the black woman was with the black male and if she was paired with a white male, it didn't last. Maybe it's just me, but a lot of time, interracial pairing where a black person is involve, doesn't last long on TV.

message 20: by Arch , Mod (new)

Arch  | 6624 comments Mod
I know that a lot of storylines don't last, I'm speaking about interracial storylines.

It's like something is wrong with interracial storylines and that's why they are short on TV. I don't know of any bw/wm storyline that has been going on for say 15 years. White soap opera storylines can go on for years. Look at Luke and Laura from General Hospital. Bo and Hope on Days of Our Lives for example.

Plus, for a lot of white couple storylines, they may break up, but sooner or later they get back together. How often does this happen with the interracial couples?

Keisha and Jason didn't even last long General Hospital. That storyline quickly turned south.

message 21: by Arch , Mod (new)

Arch  | 6624 comments Mod
I have used the 15 years as an example. Say Soap Opera characters John Doe (white man) is dating Jane Doe (black woman) now, today, October 5. New storyline. Why can't they still be a couple or at least get married in a year and their relationship last for many years on Soaps?

That's not going to happen.

Jason and Keisha's relationship on General Hospital didn't last for years. I think it survived a year.

I know they have an interracial couple bw/wm on One Life To Live, if I am not mistaken and I don't think that their relationship is going to last 5 years. They might break up by next year or in 2011.

It's sad, but it's true, a lot of black women don't feel beautiful, because they bought into that lie that only white is beautiful. Not just that, no one knows what the woman has been through. She probably have grown up, where someone in her family kept telling her that she wasn't pretty enough or she might have had people outside of her family that told her that she wasn't pretty enough. She probably was married to a man that told her that she wasn't pretty enough.

She probably felt hurt by the black males that was in her company, example school that always overlooked her and gone for another black girl that she looked upon as being prettier than her. Maybe she was the dark skin black girl or the one with short course hair. That fat girl.

We do have a lot of black males that looks over a certain shade of black woman, just as we have black females that looks over black males of a certain color.

message 22: by Arch , Mod (new)

Arch  | 6624 comments Mod
A white man can't speak for all white men.

A black man can't speak for all black men.

A black woman can't speak for all black women.

A white woman can't speak for all white women.

Documentation/tests can only speak for the persons that are being documentated or tested.

People need to stop labeling people.

Another thing, all black women aren't into white men, just as all white men aren't into black women.

I'm not into all genres and I don't watch certain shows on TV or movies.

For shows that interests me. The ones that I watch, it wouldn't hurt to see a bw/wm pairing on them for the ones that don't have an bw/wm pairing.

Some men on TV shows, I just think would look good having a black woman has his wife or girlfriend. That's my opinion.

message 23: by Arch , Mod (last edited Oct 05, 2010 01:31PM) (new)

Arch  | 6624 comments Mod

You have read wrong, but that's on you.

You have a nice life. :)

message 24: by Cherie (new)

Cherie (cheriesg) | 36 comments It sounds like this conversation is at an end, I almost don't dare to chime in, but Melissa it seems you want one black woman to answer for the angst of who knows how many other black woman. No one here can do that. I don't think anyone is disagreeing that the predominate racial couple in the media is bw/wm. You have to remember that it wasn't that long ago where that would have been a huge taboo in many areas of the United States. Interacial marriages were against the law. I think this is only a reflection of the change in social climate not a view of how black women view them selves as a whole. I am a black woman, but predominately I am a woman. I have my days when I feel sexy as hell and days were I feel I look like crap (ironically those are the days I get the most compliments). Quite honestly, i don't know any black woman who do not feel that black woman are beautiful, sexy, and desireable. But if your asking for one us to answer for comments you've read elsewhere I for one refuse.

message 25: by JC (new)

JC (ainathiel) I don't know if this point is relevant to this topic. But I will say this. I will like to see black women in relationships period on prime time television. Not the minute actress that appears on a show for a season or two on a soap. I stop watching soap a really long time ago. I decided I could write better stories.

When I saw that on Eureka, Henry's girlfriend/wife was Grace a black women. I was happy about it. I like seeing a black couple together on a show and it not be a complete comedy. I also loved that Carter and Alison were a couple, I have watched the show for four seasons, I know those two characters as much as the writers have allowed. I was happy they were together. I didn't look at it as a black and white issue. I also want Zane and Jo to get back together. I don't know if anyone mentioned that, I have always thought they were IR couple too.

Overall I would also like to see a variety of black actresses. I know they are out there but it takes an increasingly long time for them to build the popularity. I feel by the time they get the recognition they were suppose to have years ago, they want to settle down and have a life outside Hollywood.

message 26: by Cherie (new)

Cherie (cheriesg) | 36 comments I agree Jo. I would like see black women in more roles on TV period. It would be nice to see a broader specrum of color, a better representation of all of the culture groups. It is getting better.

message 27: by Arch , Mod (new)

Arch  | 6624 comments Mod
I would like to see more black women on TV as well. It would be nice to see more black shows to. Show that I wouldn't mind seeing. I don't care for a lot of the black shows they play now or have played. I don't watch Tyler Perry shows. I don't care for the Game. I don't care for reality shows.

I'm so glad that I am a writer and I can write stories that I love to see.

message 28: by Cherie (new)

Cherie (cheriesg) | 36 comments I know what you mean, Arch. ;)

message 29: by Arch , Mod (new)

Arch  | 6624 comments Mod
:) @ Cece.

message 30: by The FountainPenDiva, Old school geek chick and lover of teddy bears (last edited Oct 05, 2010 10:24PM) (new)

The FountainPenDiva, Old school geek chick and lover of teddy bears (thefountainpendiva) | 1215 comments 'The Game' is simply wretched and I can't believe that so many black women eat it up in spite of the fact that it caters to the worst stereotypes about black women (and black men). Not to mention the executive producer is Kelsey Grammer, who's exposed himself as a voice for the right-wing (and we all know their beliefs about black people).

Though I love seeing interracial couples on television, it would be great when Holly-weird can get to a place where couples of ALL races can be depicted in a loving and positive way. I'd love to see more Asian and Asian-Ameerican couples in prime time.

message 31: by Cherie (new)

Cherie (cheriesg) | 36 comments Wouldn't it be nice if TV actually reflected the faces of its audience. For instance, the diversity that we see in professional offices, hospitals, police force, and courts across America.

message 32: by Arch , Mod (new)

Arch  | 6624 comments Mod
Yes, it would be nice CeCe.

message 33: by JC (new)

JC (ainathiel) It has been my long time belief that many right-wing-ers/conservatives are hypocrites. They pass judgment with no facts and live in stereotypes and then bend over for a dollar.

Have you seen all the salacious shows on Fox and watched Fox news the number 1 mouthpiece for the Republican party?

I will say that I like the idea of the Game, the stories that followed ruined it for me. This another reason I like to write my own stories.

message 34: by Cherie (new)

Cherie (cheriesg) | 36 comments sounds like we have a lot of writers here. I love it. The knowledge that we don't have to look beyond ourselves satisfying entertainment.

message 35: by Arch , Mod (new)

Arch  | 6624 comments Mod
I write all my stories for myself. Yes, I have shared a few, to say that I am shy. But, some stories are for my eyes only.

message 36: by Cherie (new)

Cherie (cheriesg) | 36 comments I happen to think sharing is an admirable trait, ;) but I understand holding some back for yourself.

message 37: by Arch , Mod (new)

Arch  | 6624 comments Mod
lol CeCe.

message 38: by CaliGirlRae, Mod Squad (new)

CaliGirlRae (rae_l) | 2004 comments Mod
Henry's first wife was an asian woman (Tamlyn Tomita) and I still wish the writers didn't kill her off. Henry & Kim were my secondary couple next to Allison and Carter (Jo and Taggert were my third).

So far Eureka and Flashforward are the only two shows I can think of that feature a blasian couple. I'm sure there are more but it's rare nowadays on tv, I think.

message 39: by Danielle The Book Huntress , Sees Love in All Colors (new)

 Danielle The Book Huntress  (gatadelafuente) | 7314 comments Mod
I just want to remind everyone that this is a nonpartisan group here. Be mindful that we aren't all in the same political affiliations when posting comments. Thanks.

message 40: by Tina (new)

Tina | 22 comments Rae-
Off the top of my head I only know of ER when Parminder Nagra's character Neela was involved in a romance with Gallant who was black.

Also on ER, a brief but memorable romance between Deb Chen played by Ming-Na and nurse Frank played Morris Chestnut. She got pregnant and gave the baby up for adoption.

In movies, Ming-Na also played Wesley Snipes' wife in the movie One Night Stand where he has an affair with Natassia Kinski.

i know I probably shouldn't go there....seeing as how I deliberately stayed out of this discussion because it really didn't seem like it was a discussion but rather a screed but.... since when is Ingrid Bergman black? I'd swear she's Swedish.

message 41: by Cherie (new)

Cherie (cheriesg) | 36 comments Tina, Someone said Ingrid Bergman is black? Too funny. I pretty sure you're right about her swedish origins. Did we already mention the aw/bm couple on Grey's Anatomy... Um, it was Christina and forgot his name, but he was fired from the show just when they were about to get married.

Rae, I like Henry and Kim too? I was so bummed when they killed her off:/ I like all those same couples on Eureka too, actually.

Lady Danielle, thank you for the reminder. :)

message 42: by CaliGirlRae, Mod Squad (new)

CaliGirlRae (rae_l) | 2004 comments Mod
Ingrid Bergman is black? Did she know that? :-p

Oh yes! Forgot Grey's Anatomy. Sandra Oh and Isaiah Washington was it?? That's another one indeed.

CeCe, yeah! They were so adorable together. :-) Someone had upped a really cool Youtube video dedicated to them. I went to check but it looks like they deleted it. Bummer because it was really good too. Do you know what happened to Taggert btw? I missed a lot of the eps between S1 and the current one and was wondering where he went.

But we do need more AM heroes in tv and movies. All that hunkiness can't go to waste. :-) Like Karl Yune. I want him on my screen pronto (preferably shirtless). :-)

message 43: by Cherie (new)

Cherie (cheriesg) | 36 comments I don't know what happned to Taggert. I have to admit, I'm a commitment phob when it comes to shows. I watch for a while, then I don't then I do again. So I missed what happened to Taggert.

Oh yes, Karl Yune is a yummy- from Anacondas hunt for the orchid right? He definately gets my vote for shirtless appearances. I like Rain too, the guy from Ninja Assassin. *sigh*

message 44: by CaliGirlRae, Mod Squad (new)

CaliGirlRae (rae_l) | 2004 comments Mod
Hehe I concur. I'm the same way with some shows. I wish the time in between seasons wasn't so long. Even weekly can be tough. I like to watch them as one big marathon chunk. That's how I saw S1 but after that I just lost track. I will have to re-watch the old seasons to catch up cause I've been curious.

Yeah, that's him! I think I mainly watched that movie for him lol. So I was so bummed when he met his untimely end. :-/

Rain is yummy also! I'm waiting for NA to come on FX so I can ogle. Hehe.

message 45: by Arch , Mod (new)

Arch  | 6624 comments Mod
Gabourey Sidibe is not an ugly woman. She may be overweight, but that doesn't mean she's ugly.

The world needs to know that beauty comes in all colors and sizes.

The FountainPenDiva, Old school geek chick and lover of teddy bears (thefountainpendiva) | 1215 comments Gabourey Sidibe is MANY things. UGLY isn't one of them.

A lot of women could do with a shot of her positivity and self-esteem.

I loved Naomie Harris in Ninja Assassin though. Gutsy women characters score VERY high in my book. Just wish there was some serious blasian loving going on...oh well.

message 47: by Tina (new)

Tina | 22 comments I'm sure that if Naomi Harris had been nominated for a Golden Globe and an Oscar she would have been on the cover of various magazines too.

I actually think it is a testament to Elle Magazine's good taste that they would feature a talented, bubbly actress like Gabby on the cover regardless of race or size. Go Elle!

And in the case of Vanity Fair, Oprah is about the only black woman who has ever been deemed worthy of their cover. It is loudly lamented that even the most untalented young blonde starlet will land the cover of VF before the most lauded black actress. The recent Vanity Fair that came out around Oscar time that featured up and coming young Hollywood actresses on the cover was Loudly criticized for the fact that it featured only white actresses, some of whom only had one or two movies under their belt while leaving off Zoe Saldana (who had not one but two blockbusters last year) and Gabby who was fresh off an Oscar nom.

message 48: by Arch , Mod (new)

Arch  | 6624 comments Mod

Why would Gabby be a good candidate to play the black maid in the movie? Is it because she's overweight?

message 49: by Arch , Mod (new)

Arch  | 6624 comments Mod
Many maids in history were skinny women too.

message 50: by Arch , Mod (new)

Arch  | 6624 comments Mod

Do you see overweight people as not being attractive?

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