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Weekly Poetry Stuffage > Week 54 - (September 16th - 23rd) Poetry --- Topic: Thunderstorms DONE!!

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message 1: by Amanda (new)

Amanda (dreamweaver38) | 509 comments You have until September 23rd afternoon to post a poem and on the 24th and 25th of September we'll vote for which one we thought was best.

Please post directly into the topic and not a link. Please don't use a story previously used in this group.

Poems can be as short or as long as you want them to be.

The topic this week is: THUNDERSTORMS

The rules are pretty loose. You could write a poem about anything that has to do with the subject. I do not care, but it must relate to the poem somehow.

Have Fun!



message 2: by Kimathy (last edited Sep 16, 2010 05:44PM) (new)

Kimathy Title: The Storm
By: Kimathy

The lighting strikes-
zzzing!
You hold your breath,
and count-
1, 2, 3...
The thunder roars,
it rips the space,
with it's volume.

You jump
Your dog barks
The cat skitters away.

The rumbling subsides
You take a breath
Go inside.


message 3: by Stephanie (new)

Stephanie (chasmofbooks) | 2875 comments Very colorful wording, Kimathy.

I'm sure I'll be out-done again but here's another sorry attempt.

Title: Killing Thunder

Crack.
Like falling trees.

Rain acompanies the roars,
and a light flashes in the sky.

Boom.
Like falling bowling pins.

Fear enters my heart
and the depression sets in.

Black.
Like the sorrow of death.

Black.
Like the funeral clothes.


message 4: by Kristen (new)

Kristen Marincic Hiestermann | 519 comments interesting works...


message 5: by Amanda (new)

Amanda (dreamweaver38) | 509 comments Kimathy:
I really liked yours. It was cute. XD

Stephanie:
Interesting Emphasis on certain words. It's very unique and I liked it. You conveyed deep emotion as well. Great Job.


message 6: by Amanda (new)

Amanda (dreamweaver38) | 509 comments When It Rained


Sprinkle Sprinkle,
What is raining down upon my head?
Plink Plink,
Dripping down into my brain,
Was this your idea?
Splash Splash in street-side puddles,
I think I love you.

Ever since it rained.

Swish Swish,
Tires race through a drenched road,
Hurrrrrrrrrrrrrraah!
The distant roar of thunder,
Hurrrrrrrrrrrrrraah!
Drawing closer,
I am scared.
Hurrrrrrrrrrrrrraah! above my head,
The silent cries of lighting rip the sky,
And you held my hand,
I am safe here.

Sprinkle Sprinkle,
What is raining down upon my head?
Plink Plink,
Leaking down into my brain,
This is your idea, is it not?
Splash Splash in street-side puddles,
Every since it rained,
I think I’ve loved you.


message 7: by [deleted user] (new)

A Thunderstorm

A distant rumble, darkening sky
Presage a storm that is hovering nigh
The air feels heavy and the tension fills
The storm is gathering in those brooding hills.

Small puffs of wind swirl round and round
Lift dirt and grit from the dusty ground
Flashes of light pierce the pregnant gloom
We count the seconds ‘til following boom.

Fairly certain, rain is coming our way
Edging closer like some bird of prey.
Odd spots at first, like blots of ink
Stain the paving and make us shrink

In doorways or under awnings pinned,
Shelter we seek from the gusting wind.
More cracks of lightning echo around
As the heavier rain drums on the ground.

The jagged lightning and torrential rain
Send rivers of water down the drain.
After a few short minutes, it begins to ease
And the wind subsides to a gentle breeze.

Pavements glisten in the eerie light.
A fine-spray drizzle, a rainbow bright.
Weak sun reflected in window panes
Only leaf-drops now spatter the lanes.

Thunder more distant and brighter sky,
The storm has passed, we say good bye
To our brief shelters and resume our way
To home or work, just another day.


message 8: by Kimathy (new)

Kimathy Steph: i really liked yours, it was very interesting.

David: wow. that is all i can say, that was absolutely amazing!

Amanda: i like the repetition to it, very good :]


message 9: by Kristen (new)

Kristen Marincic Hiestermann | 519 comments Excellent work David! Loved reading it :)


message 10: by Kristen (new)

Kristen Marincic Hiestermann | 519 comments Thought I'd add a little humor to this week's mix... Enjoy!

P.S. This is an experience I have to deal with all too often!

A Wet Walk

I woke up and got pretty
to go to class for the day.
Feeling a little witty,
I walked out, went on my way.

I took one step past the door
just to feel rain hit my hair.
But, before the sky could pour,
my umbrella was in the air.

Luckily I wore my coat
because the wind really blew.
The umbrella I had in my tote
lifted and with the wind flew.

Then I got extremely wet,
my make-up dripped, smudged, and smeared.
My hair was not soft to pet.
This was a storm I quite feared.

My feet were soaked, legs real chill,
my cheeriness was long gone
due to the storm's nasty will
as its clouds rolled on and on.

The minute I stepped a foot
inside the classroom's warm walls,
my bag on the floor I put,
and the raindrops ceased to fall.


message 11: by Kristen (new)

Kristen Marincic Hiestermann | 519 comments haha, thanks Al!


message 12: by Stephanie (last edited Sep 19, 2010 01:25PM) (new)

Stephanie (chasmofbooks) | 2875 comments Wow, David, that was a really amazing.

I also enjoyed your poem, Kristen; it was a nice mix up from the usual theme you'd think of for this type of topic.

And Amanda, I did read yours and enjoyed it also. Your's was also different from what I would have expected. I espeacially enjoyed the line: Plink Plink,
Dripping down into my brain".

And thank you everyone for the reviews.


message 13: by [deleted user] (new)

Thanks all, for your very kind words. I think I'm beginning to get the hang of this poetry lark. More importantly, it's fun and I'm enjoying it.


message 14: by Stephanie (new)

Stephanie (chasmofbooks) | 2875 comments Just beginning are you? You've got to be kidding that you haven't wrote any poetry before. I mean...you're a natural. You should be published by some big company! You're better than some poets whose work I have to read in English.


Thomas (Marimbapanda) | 328 comments ((I just decided I had to do another poem, even though this one sucks. I know it doesn't flow well))

Rain

Its raining,
its pouring,
boy this poem,
is boring....

The lightning begins to lash,
over, on the horizon,
it appears with a flash,
and thunder drowns booms with approval.

The rain appears,
and drenches the earth,
these heavenly tears,
follow their own little path.

This is not my best,
I hope you know,
but when it becomes December,
that rain will be snow.


message 16: by Stephanie (last edited Sep 19, 2010 02:17PM) (new)

Stephanie (chasmofbooks) | 2875 comments I like it, Thomas. It's very creative. I don't think it sucks. I think it flows. It seems fresh to me.


Thomas (Marimbapanda) | 328 comments I think it is too choppy between the stanzas


message 18: by Stephanie (new)

Stephanie (chasmofbooks) | 2875 comments No, I like it.


Thomas (Marimbapanda) | 328 comments Thanks. I liked yours too, it had a very.... dark air to it.


message 20: by Stephanie (new)

Stephanie (chasmofbooks) | 2875 comments Lol, thanks.


message 21: by Kristen (new)

Kristen Marincic Hiestermann | 519 comments Thomas, it really isn't bad. Each stanza on its own is very good, but since each stanza takes on a different tone and meter/rhythm, it kinda throws it off a bit overall.


message 22: by Stephanie (new)

Stephanie (chasmofbooks) | 2875 comments Oh can you tell what the rhythm is? This stuff never makes sense to me.


message 23: by [deleted user] (new)

Stephanie wrote: "Just beginning are you? You've got to be kidding that you haven't wrote any poetry before. I mean...you're a natural. You should be published by some big company! You're better than some poets whos..."

When I was thirteen or so I had a couple of poems published in the school magazine, since that time I have written no poetry at all until I joined this group. I've read a good deal, especially Welsh poets writing in English and I've become a bit of a fan of R S Thomas, Gillian Clarke and Dannie Abse. I've also had a lot of encouragement from Jan but she's a natural poet.


message 24: by Stephanie (last edited Sep 20, 2010 01:50PM) (new)

Stephanie (chasmofbooks) | 2875 comments That's unbelievable. Wow. Okay, anouncement everyone, David is a natural. I'm serious, you've quite the talent for poetry, good sir.


message 25: by Stephanie (new)

Stephanie (chasmofbooks) | 2875 comments SEE! I told you!


message 26: by [deleted user] (new)

You are all too kind. I'm just enjoying myself and at the same time I think I still have much to learn. The way I see it is that I can string a couple of good lines together but the rest seems to me a little contrived. I need to achieve a measure of consistency and that is a much more difficult trick. But thank you all for your encouragement.


message 27: by Stephanie (new)

Stephanie (chasmofbooks) | 2875 comments Anyone and everyone who writes always has something more to learn. We're just calling it like we see it. I was starting to wonder if you were published before. You should be, really, I mean it.


message 28: by Caitlan (new)

Caitlan (lionesserampant) | 2869 comments Kissing in the Rain
By Kat

I can feel the wet drops
Falling on my head, plop!
I can hear the thunder
Sounding in the distance, boom!
I can see the lightning
Flashing above my head, slash!

I can feel his hand on my hip
Making my head pound, thump!
I can hear his voice whispering
Making my heart pound, i love you!
I can see his face smiling
Making me want him, mine!

I can feel his lips on mine
Making my head spin, swish!
I can hear his heavy breathing
Making my heart pound faster, thump!
I can see his eyes sparkling
Making him all mine, hah!

I can feel the wet drops
Falling on my head, plop!
I can hear the thunder
Sounding in the distance, boom!
I can see the lightning
Flashing above my head, slash!


message 29: by Stephanie (new)

Stephanie (chasmofbooks) | 2875 comments I like the emphasis you put on paticular words i.e. boom, slash, plop.


message 30: by Stephanie (new)

Stephanie (chasmofbooks) | 2875 comments Interesting, I like it, Alex.


message 31: by Kristen (new)

Kristen Marincic Hiestermann | 519 comments Al and Kat, I love both of yours! Maybe it's because they seem like something I would write... But great job both of you!


message 32: by M (last edited Sep 22, 2010 04:21PM) (new)

M | 11394 comments Hi, Jan! I don't know whether it was okay for me to do this or not. I checked in at the SSC&C office, but I think they're all gone to happy hour.


message 33: by M (last edited Sep 22, 2010 04:18PM) (new)

M | 11394 comments IN THE VILLAGE
by M

Rain cascading from the eaves
and down the streets like wavy glass;
people splashed by cars that pass
and drenched by wind that blows the leaves.

A Lady with a cloak of gray
and vacant, sorrow-haunted stare
has chased the girl with sand-white hair
away.


message 34: by Kristen (new)

Kristen Marincic Hiestermann | 519 comments excellent M, really enjoyed it :)


message 35: by M (new)

M | 11394 comments Thanks, Alex and Kristen! Fall is my favorite time of year, with the leaves turning, and the Renaissance festivals.


message 36: by Stephanie (new)

Stephanie (chasmofbooks) | 2875 comments That was great, M! I loved the poem! It definately reminded me of fall with the leaves and rain. Reminded me of this past week here at my place. Rain...perhaps this subject has cursed my hometown this week. Anway, I too love fall. It is my favorite time of year! It always smells so fresh and it's really pretty!


message 37: by Stephanie (new)

Stephanie (chasmofbooks) | 2875 comments It was really good. I just reach 15,000 words in my book!!!!!!!! Sorry, I had to tell someone who can really appreaciate it!


message 38: by Stephanie (new)

Stephanie (chasmofbooks) | 2875 comments Yeah, I know the feeling. I have to finish this before November though because I don't want to have to go back and finish this after NaNo. I don't want to put it off to the side like I did last year with a different book in order to do NaNo. Getting back into the story was horrifyingly hard. It took me probably almost two months. I had to really force myself to write.


message 39: by M (last edited Sep 23, 2010 11:05AM) (new)

M | 11394 comments Thank you, Stephanie, for your comments about my poem. Good luck with your book! When a story of mine grows to more than a few thousand words, it usually starts breaking up into smaller stories, the way some plants divide when they get big. I have a time-travel story that grew and grew, then subdivided, and now is like a giant clump of verbal pampas grass. I don't have a clue how to fix it. I finally gave up on ever writing a novel.

Alex, you're right about Goodreads! You can get lost on this site and never find your way back to real life. Or maybe this is real life. What if the life I used to have was just one of those annoying paper-chase dreams?


message 40: by Stephanie (new)

Stephanie (chasmofbooks) | 2875 comments You should try writing a novel again. Did you use an outline last time? It might help. Hmmmm, I choose the computer and books to be reality, so much more entertaining.


message 41: by M (new)

M | 11394 comments I appreciate your encouragment! The whole problem is that I seem to write a story backwards from the right way. I usually can't come up with a plot beforehand, much less an outline. To end up with a story, I usually have to live it first. To write the story I submitted this morning, for instance, I put myself in a setting and waited to see what would happen. Luckily for me, something did. It's a method that rarely makes for a good story (though it can produce some bizarre ones), and you don't have to convince me that writing a novel that way is virtually an impossibility.

Do you use an outline? How do you devise one? Do you first learn the story by living it vicariously in your mind, detailing and ordering parts of the outline in the process, or do you have one of those analytical minds that can abstract the elements of a story without having to visualize them, engineering it like a puzzle, then afterward undertaking the chore of putting flesh on the bones?


message 42: by M (new)

M | 11394 comments I dislike writing essays. I'm terrible at them. I can't start with an outline, so when I finish a rough draft I make out an outline to check for unity, coherence, organization, that sort of thing. I write them in the way opposite of what is prescribed, so it takes me three times as long. On the other hand, I usually come up with something interesting!


message 43: by Kristen (new)

Kristen Marincic Hiestermann | 519 comments writing backwards like that isn't necessarily bad, I've heard of several talented writers who work that way, so don't worry, you're not alone M!

I, on the other hand, can write poetry but am terrible at any other type of creative writing. I can usually whip out a decent essay pretty easily though. Years of advanced English classes helped with that...


message 44: by Stephanie (last edited Sep 24, 2010 05:28AM) (new)

Stephanie (chasmofbooks) | 2875 comments M wrote: "I appreciate your encouragment! The whole problem is that I seem to write a story backwards from the right way. I usually can't come up with a plot beforehand, much less an outline. To end up with ..."

Yes, I use an outline. Well, first I have to come up with an idea which can be from anywhere. My newest idea came from a strean of words running through my mind. After which I partially explore the meaning of the words that I wrote down. Like, I wrote about a cage and a sacred flower. So I asked myself what do they have to do with each other and BOOM! What if the sacred flower was burned and that had a hand in unlocking the cage?

I like to live the story out in my mind. I discard the ideas that don't seem to work with the outline and somehow, I found the right events to include. Now living it out in my mind is something I can do with fantasy stories but a science fiction and murder mystery taking place in the real world is a little different. I can't live it out in my mind. I have to sit and gather ideas of how the main character is going to find the murderer and how. What clues will she find? And then I write it. It's the same thing with the science fiction. How will the main character find the cure. Will there end up being a cure (I wasn't exactly sure of this one till I just wrote)? And I pen ideas down as I go.

Now for fantasies, I know more backround around the characters and world than I'll ever use, but it's useful in writing the book because I'm informed. I can never write a full outline though. I write a partial one then I add to it as I write the story and need more plot.


message 45: by Jan (new)

Jan (auntyjan) | 199 comments Thunderstorm


The first sign
of the approaching
storm is
the frantic scurrying
of the ants.
Somehow they know
before anyone
else does.
But as the sky
darkens and grey
clouds turn
to black
an oppressive
stillness builds.
It is still too hot
for water to condense
into rain.
But evening comes.
The ants have hidden.
It is dark
And darker.
A cooler breeze then
Suddenly a
flash of lightning
illuminates the landscape
A rumble of thunder
Becomes a roar as
flash upon flash
crash upon crash
the storm clouds
pass above us.
And then they
move further away
And the rain pours
down and down
Cooling the hot land
A cooler breeze
sweeps in
through the windows
so we can sleep...
After the thunderstorm.


message 46: by M (new)

M | 11394 comments Vivid images!


message 47: by [deleted user] (new)

Terrific!


message 48: by Stephanie (new)

Stephanie (chasmofbooks) | 2875 comments I like the idea in your poem, Jan.


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