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Face Off! (Less Serious) > Kissing (with tongue) is cheating. Yay or Nay?

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message 1: by smetchie (new)

smetchie | 4034 comments I say Yay. YAY! for tongue kissing and Yeah, it's cheating. But I'm a bit of a purist when it comes to that sort of thing. I had a conversation with a girlfriend of mine about this and I'm curious as to what you all think.

Am I sort of abusing the face off concept here? If so, what's the penalty?


message 2: by Barb (new)

Barb Yay. I think that anything intimate / sexual you do with someone other than your significant other is cheating - of course sex is worse than a kiss, but it's still a betrayal.


message 3: by Sarah (new)

Sarah | 13815 comments I think it depends on the relationship and how you define cheating. For me, it would be. But I know people who get off on that sort of thing and it works for them.


message 4: by Félix (new)

Félix (habitseven) Reminds me of the relationship that George Clooney's character had with Whatshername in "Up In The Air."

Not sure why -- but it does.


message 5: by Félix (new)

Félix (habitseven) Yup. That's the part.


message 6: by RandomAnthony (last edited Sep 08, 2010 12:17PM) (new)

RandomAnthony | 14536 comments I would say it's cheating most of the time, but I agree with Sarah and Buns, it depends on the nature of the relationship. This reminds me of the whole Ross and Rachel "We were on a break!" thing, and I'm ashamed that a sitcom is the first thing that came to my mind.

By the way, some people move that tongue WAY too much. Your partner's mouth is not a washing machine.


message 7: by RandomAnthony (new)

RandomAnthony | 14536 comments This is not abusing the face off concept, in my eyes. Although I'm surprised no one made a "kissing/face" comment yet.


Books Ring Mah Bell By the way, some people move that tongue WAY too much. Your partner's mouth is not a washing machine.

HAHAH!

And yes, cheating.
(unless otherwise specified by "open relationship" status agreed upon by both parties prior to the tonsil hockey.)


message 9: by Phil (new)

Phil | 11605 comments Cheating.

And that "dueling tongue" thing porn movies do when it's girl-on-girl is disgusting.


Books Ring Mah Bell Kiss me, Phil!



message 11: by RandomAnthony (new)

RandomAnthony | 14536 comments Heh. Yes, all the parents of young children appreciate a good Phineas and Ferb reference. By the way, I have already seen Camp Rock 2 twice.


Books Ring Mah Bell we love Doofinshmurtz in this house.

and perry.

:)

I'd like to see them tongue kiss!


(not really)


message 13: by Phil (last edited Sep 08, 2010 12:43PM) (new)

Phil | 11605 comments Books Ring My Bell wrote: "Kiss me, Phil!
"


With just a hint of tongue (wait - that's cheating)?

[image error]


Books Ring Mah Bell awww! Love handle kiss!


message 15: by Phil (new)

Phil | 11605 comments "Curse you, Perry the platypus! ... Hey, is that Love Händel?"

BOOM!


message 16: by Meels (new)

Meels (amelia) If I kissed another man with tongue it would break my Larry's heart...therefore I would feel I cheated.


message 17: by Lobstergirl, el principe (new)

Lobstergirl | 24075 comments Mod
I totally misunderstood the heading. I didn't realize we were talking about cheating in the context of a relationship....I thought it was cheating like: "Driving with cruise control: cheating?" or, "Using a leafblower instead of raking: cheating?"

Assuming you are in a monogamous relationship, yes it is cheating. Very much so.


message 18: by ms.petra (new)

ms.petra (mspetra) yes, it is the sign that you are willing to cheat.


message 19: by Brittomart (new)

Brittomart But what if there was no tongue, but still highly inappropriate?


message 20: by [deleted user] (new)

For me anything on the lips would be inappropriate.


message 21: by Jonathan (new)

Jonathan Lopez | 4728 comments Do I understand this thread right--your spouse is tongue kissing somebody other than you, and there's some doubt about whether it's cheating?

Well, heck, yes. It's get-out-the-shotgun, fill-it-with-birdshot, and run-Cassanova-off-the-farm-cheating.

Tongue kissing...


message 22: by [deleted user] (new)

Yup.


message 23: by Brittomart (new)

Brittomart But I think it's the question of..is it the same amount of cheating has having sex with someone else


message 24: by [deleted user] (new)

If 'it's get-out-the-shotgun, fill-it-with-birdshot, and run-Cassanova-off-the-farm-cheating' for sucking face. I think you can safely say that it will still come out for taking it a bit further.


message 25: by Jonathan (new)

Jonathan Lopez | 4728 comments Well, no. In that case you might go for buckshot instead. And bring a shovel to tidy up after.


message 26: by Brittomart (new)

Brittomart And what are you supposed to do with the tongue when you kiss? I'm always afraid that when I have my first tongue kiss...they're not gonna want to do it with me again 'cause I don't know what to do


message 27: by Lobstergirl, el principe (new)

Lobstergirl | 24075 comments Mod
Britt wrote: "And what are you supposed to do with the tongue when you kiss? I'm always afraid that when I have my first tongue kiss...they're not gonna want to do it with me again 'cause I don't know what to do"

This is why you always practice on someone less experienced than you.

Or, in the Judy Blume era, girls practiced on their pillows. And in the time of Charles I, they practiced on other girls, like milkmaids.


message 28: by Brittomart (new)

Brittomart The only people less experienced than me are kindergartners.


message 29: by Phil (new)

Phil | 11605 comments Look up "French Kiss" on wikihow.


message 30: by [deleted user] (new)

Ha ha. Lesson's on French Kissing. You can find everything on the internet, don't you love it.


Stacia (the 2010 club) (stacia_r) Nah, I got my experience with a friend. Less pressure that way and then you're not freaking out when you do it for real.


message 32: by Lobstergirl, el principe (new)

Lobstergirl | 24075 comments Mod
I think Wikihow is overstating it:

"Mix it up. Kisses are like snowflakes: no two are exactly the same."


message 33: by [deleted user] (new)

I am glad I wasn't the only one to look. I might have been doing it wrong all these years. :D


message 34: by Lobstergirl, el principe (new)

Lobstergirl | 24075 comments Mod
Ha!

I could not bring myself to watch the video, though. No way.


Stacia (the 2010 club) (stacia_r) If it feels good, you're probably doing just fine...


message 36: by Heidi (last edited Sep 08, 2010 10:24PM) (new)

Heidi (heidihooo) | 10825 comments Kissing with tongue -it's just so intimate. Like RA, I went immediately to a pop culture reference (thought not a sitcom) - Pretty Woman. She wouldn't kiss her clients on the mouth. I totally got that... like I understood why she wouldn't go there with them.

Granted, I'm not a prostitute... :)

I'm gonna have to go with cheating (so long as the agreement between both parties is not an open relationship) as my response to the question, though - I think this should be a poll, btw Smetchie. Excellent topic/discussion, ma'am.

So this brings me to the question - when do you think cheating starts? Does it start with the kiss? A glance? Nakedness? Oral Sex? Sex? Sharing verbal intimacies and secrecy? Clandestine meetings? Only when the couple is married? Or committed? Monogamous?

What are your thoughts on this?

::gets out deluxe can opener for 8 oz can of ACME worms::


message 37: by [deleted user] (new)

Lobstergirl wrote: "Ha!

I could not bring myself to watch the video, though. No way."


OMG there was a video? I obviously didn't get that far. I'm not going there either. LOL

Heidi. Secrecy it the key to knowing if there is cheating going on or potentially going on.

::digging around in the can of ACME worms::


message 38: by Lobstergirl, el principe (new)

Lobstergirl | 24075 comments Mod
Don't forget sexting.


message 39: by Barb (new)

Barb Heidi wrote: "Does it start with the kiss? A glance? Nakedness? Oral Sex? Sex? Sharing verbal intimacies and secrecy? Clandestine meetings?"

Yes. No. Yes. YES!. Yes. Yes. Yes.
In summary: if you're committed and monogamous with another person (married or not), and you share any part of your sexual / intimate being with someone else, it's cheating. This also includes (as LG mentioned) anything taking place on the internet - be it provocative / flirty chatting or out right cybersex. Of course the physical contact is a big deal, but cheating is also an emotional betrayal, so actual physical contact isn't necessary to qualify it as cheating.
It's ok to look, that's a human response to visual stimuli. Within reason, of course.


message 40: by Meels (new)

Meels (amelia) Well, no. In that case you might go for buckshot instead. And bring a shovel to tidy up after.

Hahahahaha! Brilliant.

I agree with Barb 100%.


message 41: by Heidi (last edited Sep 09, 2010 07:24AM) (new)

Heidi (heidihooo) | 10825 comments Barb wrote: "Heidi wrote: "Does it start with the kiss? A glance? Nakedness? Oral Sex? Sex? Sharing verbal intimacies and secrecy? Clandestine meetings?"

Yes. No. Yes. YES!. Yes. Yes. Yes.
In summary: ..."


So when exactly DOES cheating start then? I'm curious to know everyone's perspective on when it actually becomes cheating.

BTW, I've never cheated... not even on my home ec test.


message 42: by Heidi (new)

Heidi (heidihooo) | 10825 comments BTW, I love that you've been popping in lately, Bellsy. ♥


message 43: by Dr. Detroit (new)

Dr. Detroit | 6017 comments Barb wrote: "Heidi wrote: "Does it start with the kiss? A glance? Nakedness? Oral Sex? Sex? Sharing verbal intimacies and secrecy? Clandestine meetings?"

Yes. No. Yes. YES!. Yes. Yes. Yes.
In summary: ..."


I'm not sure I completely agree. While provocative behavior and flirting via the internet - anything short of actual cybersex, that is - is certainly more than enough to warrant a good old-fashioned flogging about the head and shoulders, I don't think it actually qualifies as cheating.

Bumping uglies does.


message 44: by Barb (new)

Barb Of course there are degree's of cheating; (serious, not playful) flirting would be the least severe offense, but it's an offense none the less.
The repercussions also differ based on what occured. This would range from head / shoulder flogging to divorce. Nothing is cut and dry when it comes to this subject. Sometimes it can be worked out and repaired when the full-on cheat has been done, and sometimes it's made clear early on that the early stages are simply a warning of what is going to continue to happen & escalate.


message 45: by Phil (new)

Phil | 11605 comments Anything flirty/touchy/giggly behaviour you wouldn't exhibit in front of your spouse or significant other is cheating.


message 46: by Barb (new)

Barb Phil wrote: "Anything flirty/touchy/giggly behaviour you wouldn't exhibit in front of your spouse or significant other is cheating."

Exactly!


message 47: by Phil (last edited Sep 09, 2010 10:11AM) (new)

Phil | 11605 comments I flirt ALL the time, but never in a way that I would not do in front of my wife. And if I go too far in front of her, she'll let me know about it later.

Example: Yesterday I responded to Books Ring My Bell with a flirty post. After re-reading it, I came back and edited it to make it less so. Now I'd be comfortable with the Mrs. reading it.


message 48: by smetchie (new)

smetchie | 4034 comments I draw the line at kissing with tongue because it requires intent. Anything less doesn't really count as cheating as far as I'm concerned. I've been kissed a big wet one out of nowhere on New Year's Eve and it was over before I had a chance to react. My husband was there and it was his friend and he was DRUNK bla bla bla so no big deal. But in any case, that doesn't count in my opinion.

What about getting a lap dance? Is that cheating?


message 49: by Phil (new)

Phil | 11605 comments Smetchie wrote: "What about getting a lap dance? Is that cheating?"

What about GIVING one?


message 50: by smetchie (new)

smetchie | 4034 comments I'm asking about a PROFESSIONAL lap dance.


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