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Movies & TV > Obsessed: An Issue That Bothered Me

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message 1: by Stacy-Deanne (new)

Stacy-Deanne Stacy-Deanne (wwwgoodreadscomstacydeanne) Hi All,

I am not sure if anyone ever talked about this film here, but it is an IR film and I'd like to just say a few things.

First off, I liked this movie. Yeah it was bad and it wasn't anything new, but I liked the IR twist. Something about having a white lady chasing after a black man like that was just interesting. I thought it was a neat idea even if the execution wasn't that great. Also, many of you know I'm not a Beyonce fan, but I have to say I think she did okay in the movie. Critics tore this movie up, her in particular but I think she was all right. I did wonder why it needed to be Beyonce though because seems to me that part could've gone to any woman. Beyonce (as the wife) didn't do much at all and was MIA for most of the movie until the end.

Anyway, I'd like to just say something.

I know it's just a movie but still there was something in it that bothered me. For those who've seen it, you know that Lisa (the blond) and Derek (her obsession) have some uncomfortable encounters. Okay, her attempting to rape him in the bathroom was disturbing enough. But what bothered me was when she actually drugged him and raped him in that hotel room (yes she did), why was that breezed over?

I don't care how it's dressed up, man or woman, that was rape and the film didn't address it. If a woman character had been drugged and raped, wouldn't they have made a big deal out of it? That part of the movie struck a chord because I think if you add something like date rape into a film, you should address it afterwards. To me it was like they felt because Derek's a man that him being drugged and this woman having sex with him while he repeatedly said no and couldn't stop her, wasn't a big deal because he was a man?

I just got the feeling that the filmmakers didn't take that drug-rape seriously and that's exactly what it was. I also wondered why the film let it go to such extremes.The bathroom scene was creepy enough but showing a woman-on-man rape and then not call it was it was was disgusting to me.

It gave off the vibes that, "It's not rape if it's a man." And I think it could have been handled with more sensitivity. They could have at least had Derek acknowledge what Lisa had done to him the next day. She mentions it and he just stands there looking stupid?

Bad move, film writers. LOL!

Did that element creep any of you guys out?

Best Wishes!

message 2: by Stephanie (new)

Stephanie Williams | 128 comments I did not see the movie, but saw the trailers when watching somethig else. I just thought "Oh, another Fatal Attraction" movie, that's why I didn't see it.

Yeah, there is a double standard when it come to rape or beatings, if it's coming from a woman. Also with student teachers. The female teacher won't get that much time compared to the male. Mary-Kay was different, but on the whole not really. I think they are starting to make sentences longer for the women now.

message 3: by Stacy-Deanne (new)

Stacy-Deanne Stacy-Deanne (wwwgoodreadscomstacydeanne) Stephanie I was avoiding it because I can't stand Beyonce, LOL. But then I started watching it and even though it's definitely not a great movie and you are right, it's basically "Fatal Attraction", it turned out to be interesting simply because of the IR factor to me. If it hadn't been an IR film, I probably wouldn't have bothered. I was curious because of that. It came on Encore and I decided to give it a chance, LOL.

Best Wishes!

message 4: by Stephanie (new)

Stephanie Williams | 128 comments Oh, aready on cable, Yeah, it was bad then. LOL! I might take a look at it.

message 5: by Arch , Mod (new)

Arch  | 6568 comments Mod
I have seen a little of the movie. I have recorded it from Starz months ago.

I have only recorded it, because I wanted to watch it and then view it later. I didn't watch the whole thing, but I probably will in the future.

Rape is rape. I don't believe that a man's rape should be overlooked. It's sad that women rape and abuse are looked upon as a no-no, but men rape and abuse is okay.

This world has women that rape and beat men too.

The law should be fair. It should be equal.

The view should be fair and equal as well.

message 6: by Stephanie (new)

Stephanie Williams | 128 comments Hear! Hear!

message 7: by Chaeya (new)

Chaeya | 454 comments Never had a desire to see the movie and it just happened to be on cable and I saw the ending. Boring, not a subject that interests me.

I agree, rape is rape, but Hollywood's had its head up its butt for years. It reeks of racism, stereotypes anyway, so I'm just not surprised.

As far as Bouncey goes, butts in seats. Yes, there are plenty of other black actresses who are better, but they probably had the good sense to turn the role down because they could see the movie sucked and wouldn't be a wise career move.


message 8: by Bekah, Mod (new)

Bekah (bekah317) | 113 comments Mod
I saw the movie, I don't think a the time that really hit me because I didn't think she actually did it! I mean, I know she drugged him, but I just assumed she didn't rape him. Because they didn't make a big deal of it? Hmm.. Personally, my feelings about the dynamics of violence against women is that its worlds different than the violence against men. Things look vastly different when you look into the relationships. But yes, I agree, rape or abuse should never in anyway be down-played!

message 9: by CaliGirlRae, Mod Squad (new)

CaliGirlRae (rae_l) | 2002 comments Mod
Chaeya wrote: "As far as Bouncey goes, butts in seats. Yes, there are plenty of other black actresses who are better, but they probably had the good sense to turn the role down because they could see the movie sucked and wouldn't be a wise career move. "

Lol, I thought I was the only one who referred to her as such. :-)

I didn't see the movie (not a fan of the "singer") but I thought it was interesting that I found out a similar occurrence happened to a family member of mine (being pursued in such a way in a workplace even although there were no attacks or anything).

I have to agree with Bekah on violence against women and men being vastly different, although attacks on one's person definitely shouldn't be pushed aside.

message 10: by Chaeya (new)

Chaeya | 454 comments I think violence against men is just as bad as women and here's the reason. Many men won't speak out because the ones who have actually received taunting from law enforcement or getting it downplayed or not taken serious because they're expected to "be a man." And second, I've known men who were subjects of female violence have the women turn around and file restraining orders and abuse charges against them and they get believed because you have a man that's 6'2 and a girl that's 5'5, people just automatically assume she's getting beat up. This happened to a guy I know. His girlfriend went bonkers on him and he called the police on her, when they got there, she began acting like he went crazy on her. Fortunately, the cop had some sense and after a couple of questions, figured out she was nuts and took her butt to jail.

Also women abuse the system terribly and this makes me mad. My friend has been trying to see his daughter for over two years, and every time he files paperwork with the court to see his daughter, his ex-nut of a wife files a restraining order against him for threatening her. And because he's a musician and has long hair and tattoes (his children's names in Japanese on both of his arms), the judge believes her and makes him go to anger management classes. But, they don't want to take into account the number of times she went nuts and he's called the police on her (he's gone down there with reports in hand), her suicide attempts and then she goes to the judge and says their daughter is scared of him. They got a divorce and she got the daughter and he got the son. She won't see the son and won't let him see the daughter, and every time he tries to get visitation with the daughter so her and the son can be together, she goes to court and files a restraining order. She has no physical evidence, no hospital visits, no photos or any occurrences of physical abuse. She just hopes the police will take her word against his. My friend had the police charges and the other two restraining orders where they found no evidence of abuse and one where she admitted he'd never hit her or touched her, but she "wish he'd just go away and leave her and her family alone." The reason they got divorced was because she cheated on him with his so-called best friend at the time.

message 11: by Stacy-Deanne (new)

Stacy-Deanne Stacy-Deanne (wwwgoodreadscomstacydeanne) Hi Bekah,

I think she did do it because remember the day afterwards she came into the lobby and said, "It was wonderful. You don't remember?" And that's when I got hot because I was like, even if she DIDN'T do it, wouldn't he still go, "What the hell are you talking about, woman?" LOL.

I know if a man had made that comment to me, I'd ask and get some details. Especially if I don't remember. I also think she did it because I don't think she would've stopped and he was so drugged up and saying no, she kept going.

I just don't know what the purpose of that scene was. Well, the purpose of the entire movie actually, LOL. But whether she raped him or not I think we all agree she definitely sexually assaulted him and took advantage.

Best Wishes!

message 12: by Stacy-Deanne (new)

Stacy-Deanne Stacy-Deanne (wwwgoodreadscomstacydeanne) I have to agree with Chaeya. You have men and boys raped by men and women all the time. A lot of people don't think women can rape men but they can. I knew a man who was raped by an older female when he was in college. He was much younger than she was, afraid and too embarrassed to tell.

Men can't control erections (at least that's what some men tell me) and if a woman stimulates them, they can make them excited even if the man doesn't want to be. It's just like some women get sexually aroused during rape (statistics show), but they don't actually want the intercourse. It's just how our bodies react to being touched a certain way, etc.

I also think during attacks on men from women, men don't wanna hit the women or anything to get them away because they know they'll be the ones who get arrested and she might even turn around and scream rape. As a woman, I can even admit the sexual assault/harassment and rape laws are very unfair to men.

I believe there are many instances about men being sexually harassed, assaulted and raped by women but who would listen? If a man told another man, "This woman raped me last night." The other man would likely give him a hi-five, thinking it's a big joke. Either that or they'd laugh at him. Men go through domestic violence too but don't tell because the police don't take it seriously.

I also see a rise in women sexually molesting kids. We had a woman down here in Houston who raped a young girl. She kidnapped her and took her to a motel and raped her. That's another thing people don't take seriously, women on women rape. It's a big thing not just in the lesbian communities but it does happen.

I admit these circumstances we speak of are rare but I wonder are they really, or just rare because men don't report them?

I think women and men should be treated the same when they are victims and the same when they are the ones committing the crimes.

Sexual assault and rape is a horrific crime that no one should have to go through. It's not their fault and they shouldn't feel guilty.

Best Wishes!

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